No Candy for Amway Ghouls!

Its a dark and stormy night. The witching hour is nearing. Halloween! Soon there will be knocks at the door and yells of trick or treat! Demands of candy being forked over.

What could be the scariest demons appearing at our front door? Ambot ghouls demanding our money and our sanity! I've compiled a grouping of the scariest bastards I hope do not show up on our doorstep tonight. Halloween. Amway demons looking for new cult followers.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Amway Ambot Ghouls Stay Away!

Any Amway ghouls show up trick or treating at my house tomorrow night will meet the grim reaper and will never be seen again!

Getting Revenge on an Ambot!

OK This is hilarious. Its on Youtube but its only audio no video. A hot prospect phones an ambot at 2 in the morning and wants to sign up. You might have to turn up the volume in order to catch the ambot’s responses. With the language this guy uses I’m sure everyone will think this is the man for me!

Ironically the ambot says he doesn't like to have conversations that early in the morning. Does this bad little ambot not go to night owls? Ah revenge for all the times those fucking ambots phone and text at all hours!

How To Get Rid of An Amway Salesman

One of these things you find online and it makes you laugh. Forget the guy coming to the door. This is what I want to do to our upline!

Ah sweet revenge! This will keep you laughing and hitting the replay button over and over!

Glister Toothpaste = Puke City!

Its hard to say which Amway product I despise the most. I mean there are so many shitty overpriced low quality items to choose from!

I really hate the Amway toothpaste - Glister!

I use normal toothpaste the kind you see advertised on TV all your life - Crest or Colgate. Whatever is on sale when I get to the drug store! I’m not overly picky. They all do the more or less the same thing.

When we first got involved with Amway the fucking upline ran through our house telling Ambot to get rid of the illegal products and replace them with something similar that Amway sells. This really pissed me off. But then there was nothing about our upline that didn’t piss me off. In this case I hate being wasteful. If we have perfectly good products in the house I want to use them up and once the container is empty then throw it out. The Amway philosophy is to throw out perfectly good useable products and then spend lots of money replacing them with shitty overpriced Amway products.

One of those shitty products was Glister toothpaste. I can go to the drugstore and there will be 15 feet of shelf space devoted to all the different kinds of toothpaste and all the different things they can do for a person: help prevent cavities, fluoride, mouthwash, whitener, sensitivity, etc. With all this incredible toothpaste variety also comes a huge range of prices. Anywhere from a buck or so up to several dollars per tube.

Let’s do a little price comparison using the Amway web site and Walmart’s website. On Walmart I chose a 6 oz tube of Crest Pro Health that costs $3.47. The $2 to $3 range is an average price for most toothpastes. And weighing in for Amway is a 6.75 oz tube of Glister for $4.15. A little higher priced than the majority of toothpastes but there are a small handful of more expensive toothpastes on the market so I think we can say within a 2 buck difference Amway is not outrageously more expensive on their toothpaste like the way they are with the majority of their products.

Price is sort of in the range. What about variety? Oh I forgot. Amway has none when it comes to toothpaste.

What about taste? There are all kinds of toothpaste flavors out there. Mint, root beer, strawberry....

But not with Amway. They have one toothpaste flavor - puke!

I’ve never had trouble using normal toothpaste to brush my teeth. Brush, rinse, spit. No problem.

There is something seriously wrong with the Amway Glister toothpaste. I brush and the foul taste of Glister makes me gag. I try to spit out as much of the crap there is in my mouth and keep brushing. I feel the sweats coming on and I’m having trouble breathing. I am going to puke if I keep brushing using this nasty shitty Amway toothpaste!

Being a glutton for punishment I keep trying the Glister toothpaste. Remember those fucking assholes in our upline threw out my perfectly good toothpaste that does not make me puke and I hate wasting anything.

I gave in after a few days. I prefer not to puke when I’m brushing my teeth. I went back to using a normal toothpaste and I haven’t had a repeat gagging performance since.

Amway’s slogan? Spend more money for our low quality toothpaste. You might not get your teeth clean but Glister will empty your stomach!

The above photo was taken in China from a page of photos by a bicyclist who cycles all over the world. Had to laugh because he talked about his new friend - a persistent and annoying Amway salesman! If you click on the photo you can read it better. http://kevinkoski.com/Hobbies%20and%20Interests/Bicycle%20Touring/rtw/photos.html

Amway Vampires Sucking the Money Out of Us

Halloween is coming up so it seems a good time to talk about vampires.

Amway vampires that is.

Vile creatures of the night the Amway vampires congregate at 8pm to worship their cult leader and hear their tales of greed. After 11pm, after midnight, into the early morning hours the Amway vampires are learning how to suck money out of their victims. They’re learning how to destroy relationships of any cult followers who have family and friends who are not “onboard with Amway”. The cult leaders chant familiar phrases. “People who are not in Amway are stupid. They’re losers. They’re negative unchristian dream stealers. Stay away from anyone not involved in Amway because they do not have your best interests in mind like we do. We love you.” The more tired the cult followers the easier it is to  brainwash them. Another familiar mantra: “Buy more tools. Buy more Amway products. That is the secret to your financial freedom. FREEDOM! Flush that stinking job!”

For people like myself who venture out into a moonless night into the grim dungeon of horrors of an Amway meeting it seems like we are caught in hell. No friends. No money. No hope. No future. Only despicable Amway vampires who want to destroy us. We look out the window into the dark night where a few stars twinkle in the sky, as unreachable and untouchable as the Amway promise of spending ten to fifteen hours a week for the next two to five years and bless the Amway gods with thousands of dollars of our money and we will be rewarded with residual income rolling in forever while we walk the beaches of the world and hang out with Diamonds on Peter Island. Coyotes howl in the distance. Something smells really bad in this room. The unmistakeable stench of Amway vampire B.O. and some son of a bitch Amway vampire is drinking XS piss water.

We want to leave but we can’t just get up and go and abandon the person we arrived with. Trapped! Finally the Amway cult leader shuts up and we can get out of this hell hole. “Why are you leaving so soon?” An Amway vampire taunts us. “Fuck you. Its one in the morning. Not everyone around here keeps witching hours.” The Amway vampire hisses and sneers “Guess you got a J.O.B. to get to in the morning.”

There’s just something about these Amway creatures of the night that makes you want to run and hide. Turn the lights on. Get away from these demons!

Amway vampires and their greedy goals. Amway vampires and the their evil intentions of sucking the money out of us. Sucking the life out of us. Someone ought to put a stake through the hearts of Amway vampires except that they don’t have any.

Oh yeah. One more time I’d like to send a big old fuck you out to my upline.

The Amway IBO Guide to Wasting Time and Money Washing Dishes

Nobody likes doing dishes. Ambot does not like doing dishes at all. I swear if he was single he’d buy paper plates and plastic cutlery so he could throw them out after he’s done eating! So doing the dishes comes down to me. Big surprise. I bet every woman out there reading this knows what I’m talking about. And what about dishes that do not get put in the dishwasher? The family brings their dirty dishes into the kitchen and puts them in the sink or on the counter above the dishwasher. Why stop when you’re so close? Open up the dishwasher and put them in!

I didn’t always have the luxury of a dishwasher. I started washing the dishes when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I had to bring a chair to the sink so I could reach but I was doing dishes. When I was about 10 my parents got a dishwasher. Probably the first people in the neighborhood to get one of those newfangled devices! Though about 10 years later dishwashers were commonplace in most houses. Every house I’ve owned I’ve had a dishwasher though a couple of places I rented back in the 80’s didn’t have dishwashers and I washed by hand. One thing I learned when I was 10 years old is that not everything can go in the dishwasher. For example my parents good china had to be washed by hand. The silver had to be washed by hand. Crystal has to be washed by hand. Pots and pans that were too big had to be washed by hand. Suffice it to say I’ve had many years experience washing dishes by hand! I’ve also had many years experience of trying out dish soap for both the dishwasher and washing by hand. I know what works and what is a good price.

Enter Amway.

After we signed up the upline rushed around our house with rabid intensity informing Ambot he had all these illegal cleaning products in the house that had to be tossed and immediately replaced with “high quality” Amway products.

One of the items on the Amway mafia hit list was my dish soap and dishwasher soap to be replaced with Amway’s Dish Drops. Kind of a suitable name. I felt like dropping all my dishes after the shitty job the Amway soap did on them!

Here’s how it goes. Fill the dishwasher. Put in Amway’s dishwasher Dish Drops soap. Here its very important to note that we tried the dishwasher powder and the tablets. They both have the same results. Run the dishwasher through its cycle. Open the dishwasher to empty the dishes. First dish out. Dirty! Shit! I hate it when that happens. Cursing away turn the water on in the sink and pour in Amway’s Dish Drops soap. Put the still dirty dish into the sink while its filling with water. Pull another dish out of the dishwasher. Fuck! This one isn’t clean either! Put it in the sink with the other dishwasher reject. Pull a third dish out. Scrutinize this one real carefully. Looks OK. Put it in the cupboard. And so it goes. Half the dishes go in the sink to be washed a second time by hand. The sink is full so turn off the water. Note that Dish Drops is severely lacking in the bubble department. Pour in a little more dish soap and turn the water on again in a futile attempt to get more soap bubbles. Give it up! Next the cutlery. Shit! Dirty fork! Same story. Half go in the sink to be washed again and half are barely clean enough to be put in the drawer. Pull out the top shelf of the dishwasher where the glasses are. Fuck! Half of them are not clean but the sink is already full with dishwasher rejects so I have to put the glasses on the counter and wait their turn to get washed a second time. Making sure Ambot knows how pissed off I am about washing the dishes a second time by hand and punctuating washing the dishes by hand with a lot of shits and fucks from the kitchen I get them done. I have to keep putting more Dish Drops into the sink because the soap suds do not last. I am really pissed. I have never had this problem with any other dish soap.

Repeat over and over and over and over for the entire time we are stuck in Amway hell.

Finally our penance is over! I go to Walmart and buy Great Value dishwasher pucks and toss one in. When the load finishes I start to pull the dishes out the same way I did when we were using Amway dish soap, suspiciously giving them a good look over knowing half of them won’t be clean. But what is this? A clean dish! Victory! I put it on the shelf and give the next dish a good check over. Clean! Wow! I unload the entire dishwasher with not a single reject! This hasn’t happened since before we were in Amway. In fact it takes at least 2 weeks of running loads through the dishwasher before I got one dish that I had to wash again by hand.

Here’s my price comparison. Amway Legacy of Clean Dish Drops dishwasher tablets 60 in a box for $22.20. That’s .37 cents for each load of dishes that this soap can’t even get the job done and get them clean. I switched to Walmart Great Value dishwasher packs and there’s 85 in a box for $9.97. That’s .12 cents per tablet. As the name says: Great Value! I spend less money and less time washing the dishes a second time by hand after I switched away from Amway’s shitty dish soap!

What about the times I have to wash items by hand? Let me check the cost. Amway Legacy of Clean liquid dish soap in the 33.8 fl oz size costs $9.05. I hate this soap because the suds don’t last and I have to keep adding more soap or draining the sink and starting fresh. I couldn’t get a price on Walmart’s Great Value dish soap not without scrolling through over 1000 items when I did an online search and I didn’t think of looking when I was last in Walmart. I haven’t used it anyway. Couldn’t quite match the size but at Walmart they sell Dawn liquid dish soap in a 30 oz bottle for $4.47. Suds hold up the whole time I’m doing the dishes and it costs half of what Amway’s dish soap cost.

If I use Walmart’s reasonably priced high quality dish soap I save time and money. If I use Amway’s substandard overpriced dish soap I waste time and money.

This one’s a no brainer for me. No more shitty Amway dish soap! Great Value gets this dishes clean the first time around! Yay!

Walmart’s motto? Save money. Live better.

Amway’s motto? Lose money. Live worse.

Amway IBO’s are Commissioned Salespeople

One of the biggest arguments that people being prospected by an Amway IBO come up with are that they are not salespeople and are not interested in being a salesperson. The brainwashed IBO fights back with the response that Amway is not about selling: register, set up a store, buy from your own store, convince family and friends to shop at your Amway store, and sign up others to join Amway and teach them to do what you do.

Yeah almost anything looks possible on paper but the reality of trying to get it off the ground is another story.

Ambots argue they Amway is not a pyramid scheme because they have actual products for sale. Overpriced, substandard products, but nevertheless an actual product for sale.

Amway’s own sales figures show that less than 4% of their sales are to people who are not registered IBO’s so the other 96% are IBO’s who are self consuming their own products or inventory loading. When the IBO’s are not self consuming their own products or inventory loading they are on a rabid quest to recruit others to do the same thing.

Self consuming, inventory loading, recruiting new cult followers. Pyramid scheme!

I argued with Ambot that I am not a salesperson therefore Amway is not a good business choice for us. I don’t have a sales type personality like many people who are not comfortable approaching a stranger and striking up a conversation and hope to sell them a house, a car, or a pair of shoes. Our upline told us we didn’t have to be good salespeople to make our riches in Amway. That was one of many lies told to us. Amway “independent business owners” are really commissioned salespeople and to some extent everyone has to sell either the Amway business module or Amway products.

Or those who can’t do either self consume and inventory load Amway products so they can get the PV and into a higher bonus bracket for paltry commission checks from Amway.

Ambot had been brainwashed by his upline to believe he didn’t have to sell Amway products to make it big in the business which is what he tried to convince me. What!? What do all those fucking board plans say? You make your money in Amway buying their products and recruiting other people who will also buy Amway products. You have to be good at selling Amway products and good at selling the business opportunity to convince someone else to pay $150 to sign up and spend $300 month buying Amway products to consume. In other words be good at selling hope and dreams. You have to also be good at motivating any downline you sign up not to quit and to keep buying Amway products and investing in the tool scam.

Seeing as how I’m  not good at selling I was unable to sell Ambot on the truth that he was really a commissioned salesperson in a futile business venture. Nobody wants to buy Amway’s shitty overpriced products and no one wants to join the Amway cult. That has nothing to do with his sales ability. Its just that he’s chosen a lousy product to believe in and a lot of people in the states are already aware of the Amway scam.

Amway’s shitty reputation for overpriced substandard products and cult similarities makes it really hard to sell others on this poor business opportunity no matter how good a salesperson you are.

John the Silver Bozo

Did everyone see this bozo John the Silver post a comment on one of Joecool’s blogs?

http://thefactsabouttheamwayopportunity.blogspot.com/2011/04/amway-ibo-comment.html

All you negative people make me laugh!!! DO you relized that you work for a living? Do you relaize that you work for SOMEBODY? Do you realize you will not make more than your boss in the "position" you are at?

All you brainwashed ambots make me laugh!!! Apparently a qualification to be an Amway ambot is to put down people with J.O.B.s.

I didn’t relize (sic) that I work for a living. I did many years ago. What’s wrong with that? Many people have jobs. But ambots can not answer that question on what is wrong with having a job because they are brainwashed to hate their jobs and hate their bosses. Don’t worry. You won’t be working there too much longer!

I didn’t relaize (sic) that I work for SOMEBODY. Oh and by the way John the Silver bozo needs to get his spell check on his computer under control and check his caps lock button! Ha ha! Perhaps John the Silver bozo can point out this somebody. Many of us don’t work jobs and aren’t employees. Some of us are retired or self employed or live off our investments and you do not see us go around putting down people who work for someone else for a living. Again I ask what is so wrong about working for somebody other than according to Amway IBO’s its something comparable to leprosy.

Oh and John finally gets his spell check under control and spells realize correctly when he does the old Amway sneer about do we realize we will not make more than the boss in the “position” you are at. Seeing as how I don’t have a boss all the money coming in is mine, mine, mine. I don’t have to pay an overpriced wholesaler for generic and substandard products. I don’t have to rip other people off. No ambot can claim that!

I wish these thumb-sucking negative weenies would get out of their pitty party and do something in life to help themselves and families instead of sucking the life out of positive go-getters that want the best for their families, and other families with this great opportunity from Quixtar.

Hey John there’s only one t in pity! Talk about Amway speak! Heard this tons of times from the stage or CD or tape. Isn’t it awesome being in a business that is devoted to insulting everyone and everything? John and his cronies seem to fail to grasp that not everyone is capable physically, mentally, or financially to be a business owner. Whether its a scam like Amway or a reputable business. Not everyone has what it takes. Just like not everyone has what it takes to be a pro baseball player, an actor, an artist, or run the mile in under 4 minutes. Not everyone has it in them to succeed at every single thing they attempt.

And they don’t want to be insulted about it!

Like we need any further proof that part of the Amway teaching is to sneer at people who have jobs. Put down people with jobs. Look at them like they have some hideous disease and should be avoided.

Funny that’s exactly the way I look at Amway IBO’s!

Avoid ambots at all costs!

FED Up This Weekend in Denver Colorado

Yup its getting closer. Amway WWDB Free Enterprise Days will be held in Denver Colorado October 21 to 23 2011.

Those of you who’ve been reading my blog long enough know this is yet another post to misdirect IBO’s who are desperately seeking information about this bullshit Amway World Wide Dream Builders function.

Anna Banana can’t help it that she’s so popular that the Married to an Ambot blog is right up there at the top of the search engines!

Anna Banana can’t help it that Amway and WWDB are so highly secretive that they make it so very difficult for their little ambots to find the information they urgently seek and force them to read my blog to find out the truth!

So the brainwashed ambots will descend upon Denver and give their money to their cult leaders who say the same old bullshit over and over no matter how many functions you attend. Ken and Barbie will slink across the stage dressed as if they’re attending the last formal night in the dining room on the Titanic. Their ship is sinking fast so they’ve got to scramble to find something to say to motivate the ambots in attendance and scam them out of more money. How about boring the brainwashed ambots with their life story. Oh goodie. We already heard the life story of the last 4 rat-faced Ken and Barbies ahead of you and every one of you bastards has the same story. Barbie was working a minimum wage job as a waitress at Denny’s. Ken was pumping out portaporties. They were renting an apartment in a building next to the train tracks and every time the L went past their pictures rattled off the walls and all the dishware shattered. Then one day a dear friend showed them the Amway business plan and they signed up and started being brainwashed by Amway cult leaders. Their first major function came up and they couldn’t afford to go. Someone loaned them $20 to buy gas and they loaded the car up with Amway snacks and slept in it while attending the function. They sucked up to everyone in their upline to learn their secrets. The recruited others into the pyramid scheme. They scammed their downline out of their money. They destroyed the lives of everyone they met. None of that mattered in their greedy quest to pay cash for mansions, jets, yachts, sports cars, and luxury vacations. Now look at them and how far they’ve come from that shitty apartment they used to live in. Their message to the masses: “You cult followers better pay attention to how we are liars and scammers and have no morals and don’t give a shit about anyone else and if you do what we do then one day you can walk across the stage with us.”

Puke city!

Why do all you bastards have the same story? Do you have bad memories and don’t remember telling your life story over and over so many times that everyone copies from each other and nobody really remembers what they used to do and where they used to live when all those lies roll into one? I didn’t find the story exciting the first time it was told nor did I find it thrilling the next fifty times with subtle variations from each Ken and Barbie.

Telling the same old story over and over again.....

Bad memories?

Annoying behavior?

Brainwashing techniques?

Amway Ambots and Smoke and Mirrors

At sometime in our lives, we have been or are likely to be approached by recruiters of Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) and Network Marketing (NM) organizations, promising a great new business opportunity that only takes a few hours a week and yet will eventually net you a thousand dollars a week to put you on the road to becoming financially independent.  As many of us know, the biggest of these organizations is Amway, followed by many smaller copycats, each with their own variations, all trying to make you think they're better than the other. 

MLM's are notorious for presenting to you a barrage of smoke and mirrors that mislead you with hype and emotionalism that feeds on your deepest needs while subduing your reason and common sense.  They usually start with catchy lines like "Are you tired of working for someone else?" and "Would you like to be your own boss?" followed by "How would you like to earn an extra thousand dollars a week in your spare time?" and "What if you could do this part time while keeping your regular job?" 

Nope those are not my words but they could have been written by me or just about anyone else who has been screwed over by some ambot and Amway.

A good article, though long read http://www.debunkingskeptics.com/MLM.htm

Yes I’ve heard all of the above that I quoted. We’ve been harassed by fucking Amway IBO’s to join their scam except the liars neglect to tell you there’s a less than 1% chance of making money. Instead they feed you that bullshit about working 10 to 15 hours a week and making thousands of dollars. Put in two to five years and the residual income will be rolling in forever and we’ll be financially independent for the rest of our lives.

I’ve heard all those lines, though I still have never been able to grasp how my Ambot fell for being tired working for someone else and would you like to be your own boss seeing as how he hasn’t had an employer in many years. I’m  not really sure what line that fucking arrogant prick sponsor got him on other than the part about working only a few hours a week for a couple of years and never working again for the rest of your life while residual income rolls in forever. When people near retirement age they often look for other forms of income and investments to help make the retirement years a little nicer.

Anyway, that’s my contribution today. A link to a thought provoking article that does not entirely focus on Amway.

Not Living the Amway Nightmare

I am one of the lucky ones who got away from the evil clutches of the Amway cult. Though these evil bastards had their clutches into Ambot and never me I suffered greatly through financial and emotional distress that those Amway assholes brought into our lives.

However I lived to tell about it and here we are at my blog. Getting the story of how I suffered at the hands of those evil Amway IBO’s helps others who are struggling within the evil grip of this cult.

One of the things I always heard at Amway meetings from one of the cult leaders was that they wake up and get out of bed when they’re done sleeping and wouldn’t the rest of us like to do that too.

Some of us already do that and have been doing that for many years. I wake up when I’m done sleeping. I’m usually done before 8am! I’ve got things to do and I need to haul my ass out of bed and get going.

I often heard Amway cult leaders talk about their last day at a regular job and how they busted their alarm clock. I bet soon enough they’ll regret that childish little move!

Just because I’m used to waking up whenever doesn’t mean I never set my alarm clock. I frequently get called upon to drive people to the airport. Oh yeah lets call Anna for a ride she doesn’t have anything better to be doing anyway. And what’s with everybody I know who seem to book flights for 7 or 8 in the morning????  That means hauling my sorry ass out of bed around 5am and I definitely have to set the old alarm clock for that one!

This weekend is Free Enterprise Days in Denver Colorado. There’s another FED in Portland Oregon early November. These two cities are a pain in the ass to access from eastern and southern parts of the US. I’m not talking about flying in because I think both these cities have decent airports and Denver is a major airline hub but anyone taking flights in is probably going to be frantically searching for an alarm clock to make sure they get out of bed in time to make their flight. I would say IBO’s in states adjacent to Colorado can drive there. Maybe. A friend of mine in Colorado said they already had snow a couple of weeks ago. So maybe a day’s drive to get to Denver. Maybe two days if you live a little further out. I’d think if it was a 2 day drive by the time you add up the cost of gas, wear and tear on the car, one night at a hotel on the road, and meals it would probably be cheaper to fly in.

My point is that those poor cult followers going to Denver are likely having to set their alarm both while on the road and while in their Denver hotel to make sure they wake up in time to get to the cult meetings.

So why all this interest in alarm clocks and waking up? Yup you guessed it. Keeping up with my usual wake up when I’m done sleeping today I slept in and I missed a couple of things I wanted to do!

Ambot’s advice? Tomorrow I should set my alarm clock!

The Stepford Ambots

I remember seeing the original Stepford Wives movie on TV back in the days when the networks did more made for TV movies. I also have the DVD of the screen version starring Matthew Broderick and Nicole Kidman.

What was going on in Stepford is also going on in Amway. In the movie the wives are controlled by their husbands who are always attending men’s club meetings and are ultimately controlled by one or two men who are the leaders. Depending on which movie you’re familiar with the women are either murdered and robots take their place or they have a computer disk inserted in their brain that controls them.

Either way the women - or keeping up with the times in the newer version which included a gay couple and zapped one man - become mindless submissive robots controlled by their husbands. Oh and the wives fawn all over their men with unnatural over the top devotion and dedication. Very much like zombies.

This is what I saw in the Amway cult.

Men’s club meetings? The Amway meetings were male oriented always led by a male cult leader. Some wives attended Amway meetings with their husbands. Many men were single and coming stag to the Amway meetings. Many married men came stag too after their wives became fed up with the mind control bullshit and losing money. Some meetings were just men only no women allowed. Who remembers the clubhouses we had when we were kids and the boys usually had a “girls keep out” sign hanging outside. Like that. These men only Amway meetings are where the cult leaders try to cause trouble in their downline’s marriages and destroy their relationships.

To become a Stepford ambot one must do whatever the scum sucking upline demands. They have to say the things the upline wants to hear, wear the clothes the upline wants you to wear, eat the snacks the upline wants you to eat, buy the things upline wants you to buy, drop whatever you’re doing and rush to the upline’s side if they beckon, etc, etc.

I have to stop. Sometimes I find it really sickening to relive these memories but I know by writing them down and sharing the anguish I went through that I can help others.

Wives had to display this over the top zombie like devotion to their husbands. Just watch those Ken and Barbies stomping across the stage at Amway functions. Barbie might have a few words to say but mostly she stands there gazing adoringly at Warrior Ken.

I don’t know about the rest of you guys but my husband gets really nervous if I’m staring him down!

That’s what life is like once you sign up with Amway. Welcome to Stepford! Leave your brain at the door. You are now an ambot.

How To Ruin An Amway Meeting

Ha ha! Someone did a Google search “how to ruin an Amway meeting” and ended up at my blog. And then a few days later I got another searcher wanting to know how to ruin an Amway meeting. OK I’ll bite. Sounds like fun to me!

When I think back to all the ruined evenings I had because I was spending them at an Amway meeting I think its only fair to return the favor!

The only people I knew of for sure who had a bad attitude about being stuck in an Amway meeting were myself and our sack of shit Platinum. Every meeting I attended the Platinum would whine and bitch about how he was giving up time with his family and doing things he wanted to do to talk to us about Amway. Yeah well I can whine and bitch about the same thing. I’m giving up time with my family to hear him talk about Amway. And I have no interest in listening to him talk about Amway. I’d rather be anywhere else doing stuff I want to do instead of listening to him spout off lies and bullshit. So right away there are two of us in the same room with bad attitudes about being there because we have bigger and better things to do than attend an Amway meeting.

Here’s some ways to ruin an Amway meeting.

1. Before the meeting begins ask if this has anything to do with Amway. Keep asking and hold up the meeting getting underway until you get an answer. If someone is honest enough to admit that it is Amway tell them you’re leaving.
2. Show up late. After 8:30pm or 9pm would be perfect. Make a lot of noise getting to your seat and saying hi to people.
3. When the speaker begins to bitch about giving up time with his family to talk to the audience, stand up and yell the same thing right back at him. “I’m giving up time with my family to hear you talk. And so far I don’t like what I hear! I wish to hell we had both stayed at home!”
4. Leave your cell phone on. At the beginning of every meeting some ambot in a monkey suit introduces the jackass speaking that night and tells the audience to turn off their phones. Prearrange with someone to phone around 8:30. Change your cell phone ring tone to Jimmy Buffet’s Let’s Get Drunk and Screw. And yes I checked. You can download that ring tone! Then go ahead and hold a conversation with whoever phoned and watch the horrified reaction of the brainwashed ambots around you. How dare someone disrespect their cult leader by taking a phone call!
5. Wait 15 minutes or so into the meeting and then get up and say: “I’m bored. I’m outta here.”
6. Stand up and yell “You’re a bunch of fucking liars!”
7. Yell out: “No one wants to listen to this negative shit!”
8. Stand up and say “I’ve got better things to do.” And then walk out.
9. Start telling offensive jokes.
10. Just as the meeting is about to start stand up and say “I’m going on a McDonald’s run. Be back soon!”
11. Start complaining about the uncomfortable chair you’re sitting on.

I’m sure there are many other ways to ruin an Amway meeting. Seeing as how Amway meetings have ruined so many lives I say its OK to get even.

Who In The Room is a Brown Noser?

At every company I’ve ever worked for there was always at least one brown noser in the group.

Oh just in case anyone is wondering - that brown noser person was never me! Like there could be any doubt about that one!

I’m sure we’ve all seen them. The person that’s following the boss around holding a notebook and pen at the ready to write down whatever the boss is talking about. Offering to run to Starbuck’s and buy the boss a coffee. The first person to squeal to the boss about what the coworkers are doing or not doing. Staying late for no extra pay to help the boss complete a project. Usually doesn’t matter how far they have their nose up the boss’s ass they probably won’t get a big promotion or pay raise. But they will get a reputation around the company as a person who can not be trusted.

Every Amway meeting I can look around the room and pick out the brown nosers. That would be just about everyone present except of course me. Yes even Ambot was a brown noser.

What does it take to be an Amway brown noser?

1. When we’re meeting at a coffee shop the ambots would practically knock each other over for the privilege of buying the sack of shit Platinum a coffee or snack. For fuck’s sake if this lying sack of shit is making the kind of money he claims to be making in Amway then he should be able to afford to buy everyone in the shop a coffee.
2. Offering to drive the upline wherever they need to go.
3. Standing out on the street corner excitedly waiting for the upline to show up for the meeting.
4. Holding an umbrella for the upline if its raining. What’s wrong with the upline’s arms?
5. Holding a video camera or another type of recording device in the upline’s face not wanting to miss any gem them might share.
6. Knocking people over to get to the front row of the auditorium so they can be as close as possible to the Diamond’s greatness.
7. Rushing the stage after the Diamond has finished talking to shower him with praise and adoration for getting where he is by abusing and scamming his downline.
8. Obeying everything the upline tells them to do.
9. Offering to help out around the upline’s house for no charge.
10. Never missing an Amway meeting or event.
11. Dropping by the upline’s house for no good reason other than to be close to them. And for the bragging rights to get one up and over the IBO's who are not there.
12. Dropping whatever they’re doing and running to the upline if they’re summoned.
13. Kissing the upline’s ass so they can get their nose even further up there.

Franklin Covey Binders

The first time Ambot was in Amway and WWDB he bought a Franklin Covey organizer. I’m not sure how much it was but I remember it cost more than $100. It’s a leather cover organizer with a day planner calendar inside it. All the better for filling up with Amway worthy shit.

Ambot had to keep track of all his Amway activities in here. This was in the days before World Wide Dream Builders had their $50/month premier membership which included an online calendar, address book, etc to keep track of your Amway activities.

I previously had a leather organizer with a day planner, address book, phone log directory, etc. In fact I still have it though I haven’t bought the yearly calendar day timer in a number of years. I find my calendar in Outlook meets my needs. Back at that time I thought my organizer should be more than sufficient for any Amway stuff but no at the urging of his upline and the potential PV Ambot had to go buy his own organizer.

The problem we found with the Franklin Covey organizer was replacing the calendar for the new year. We went to several office supply stores but didn’t find any that fit into the ring binder system that Franklin Covey used for their organizers. Pretty sneaky on their part because that pretty much guarantees that whoever buys the organizer has to buy their proprietary annual calendar refills. Perhaps things have changed now and someone has come up with a knock off calendar refill. Can’t say as I’ve been into an office supply store looking for a calendar refill for many years!

I don’t recall for sure if the Franklin Covey organizer was part of the Amway tools that all IBO’s had to purchase but I know everyone in our LOS carried one around so undoubtedly our Platinum was putting the pressure on everyone to buy one.

This last go round with Amway I don’t remember seeing anyone walking around holding organizers. Times have changed. The ambots were all walking around with cell phones plastered to their ears.

What Can Our Lying Platinum “Teach” Us?

Our sack of shit Platinum often said if we do what he teaches we’re going to make it real big in Amway. Then he would follow that by saying there are guys in the room who are not successful because they don’t do what he teaches.

I would be one of about 5 women who regularly showed up to Amway meetings, the regular group meeting in someone’s living room, and I don’t consider myself a guy. The Platinum is a male chauvinist pig so as far as he’s concerned no woman is going to make it in Amway. Not without a man leading the way. Three women in the room were single. Maybe more depending if some of the occasional IBO’s showed up for a living room meeting or not.

The Platinum never taught us anything useful. The only thing he taught was resentment but I would hardly call that useful. His meetings were always the same. They started at 8pm and he’d spend an hour talking about himself and the negative stuff going on in the news - businesses closing down, recession, that sort of thing. It would take him at least an hour to say something to the effect that this is what he does for a living. Here its important to point out that Amway is hardly what he does for a living. He has a real job, the kind that people like him poke fun at - J.O.B. Just Over Broke. Instead of taking the more common sense route of saying the right job can change someone’s life, he taunts people who have jobs. Asshole you’re in that category. Some of us in the room don’t have jobs because we already own our own business. Hmmm. Maybe I better take another look around the room. There was only one other guy in the room who owned his own business. And yes I am using the past tense. About a year after we got out of Amway we noticed his store had been taken over by another business. Too bad for him. I was in there once and noticed his prices were on the high side. He learned the wrong things from Amway!

OK so get back on track. The sack of shit talks about himself and all the negative news items he’s picked up recently. He bores us to death for at least an hour under the false impression we actually give a shit listening to him. Then he finally mentions Amway. It takes him an hour to get there because its really embarrassing to admit to anyone that you’re in Amway. He wants to spend the first hour trying to get any new prospects in the room to know him and what he’s all about and to get them to think he’s a really nice guy. I can tell any newbies that he’s a lying sack of shit and Jim Jones is his idol and he’ll brainwash you too if you hang around long enough. I don’t have to take the roundabout way of wrapping that one up. Then the flash cards come up with the Amway business plan on them. Depending on whose flash cards he’s using and if they’re old ones he’ll bitch out the ambot that brought them and tell them he needs to buy new ones. Invest in your business! Invest in the tool scam so the upline Diamonds can make more money! To make his point he’d take a black felt pen and write all over the flash cards effectively destroying someone else’s property because that’s the kind of thing this miserable asshole does. He has no respect for other people or their property. Right back at you asshole. I have no respect for a lying sack of shit.

This whole bullshit session takes two and a half to three hours. The Platinum keeps getting sidetracked and going off on some rant or spending more time talking about himself. The fucker loves the sound of his own voice!

So what exactly did he teach us other than resentment? According to the flash cards he taught us that if we eat one Amway food bar each day and drink one Amway beverage a day and find two other people and teach them to do the same then we’ll make a thousand bucks a month in commission from Amway. If we find 6 people to eat and drink the Amway shit then we’ll make $100,000/year. If they find 6 people and they find 6 people and so on and so on we’ll be making around a million dollars a year and those people beneath us will be taking our spots in the $100,000 and $500,000 range. Everyone will get rich!

Yup eat and drink your way to Amway success!

If you’ve ever had to drink the XS piss water or eat a nasty shitty Amway food bar then you’ll know it is really hard to convince other people to buy this shit no matter how much you lie to them about the health benefits. The high price for these horrible tasting products is a huge obstacle to overcome.

People can go out and buy a box of oranges or persimmons for ten bucks and get better health benefits, either by eating the fruit as is or putting it through the juicer. Save money feel better eating/drinking a natural product.

As for the people in the room who were doing what the sack of shit Platinum taught they weren’t making money. The odds are stacked against them. Less than 1% of IBO’s will make money according to Amway’s literature. The sack of shit can rant at them all he wants about doing what he teaches and they’ll become rich but it ain’t going to happen. According to the Platinum just by virtue of showing up for the meeting the ambots in the room were winners and successful. That was another one of his teachings about how we better show up for every one of his meetings or face his wrath.

The ambots in the room change over every few months or so but I know the Platinum’s lies are still the same. He still can’t teach anyone to be successful in Amway. That would suggest:

1. he can’t teach worth a shit
2. the people in the room can’t learn worth a shit
3. or its a mathematical impossibility for the majority of IBO’s to become successful in Amway.

The pompous sack of shit would take the “2” option but that’s because he has such a high opinion of himself.

When it comes to Amway I didn’t get no learning from that bastard!

The I Got Screwed Over By Amway Club

A club that nobody wants to be a member of is called the “I Got Screwed Over By Amway Club”.

Looking at it from a distance the business Amway is a bricks and mortar building and contains within its walls their products that they sell to IBO’s who do with the products what they will: consume them, sell them, or toss them in the garbage.

The people who work inside the Amway building are not directly screwing over ambots. Indirectly yes. When it comes down to push and shove I can say that aside from a few unpleasant encounters with the useless bastards who work on the customer service desk I have not had any contact with Amway employees and none of the people who work within their 4 walls personally screwed me over or coerced me to buy Amway products or invest in the tool scam.

The company leaves that dirty work to their cult leaders and tries to keep an arm’s distance away and denies any responsibility.

At every Amway function someone was always introduced as coming out from Amway's head office so unless this person only came on stage to say a few words and then left the building, someone from the head office is present and listening to some pretty outrageous stuff from the cult leaders and turning a deaf ear to it.

The people who screwed me over were our upline. They used Amway the business as the vehicle to screw me over. The upline enticed us to join up with Amway with their false promises and lies. Almost everyone in our upline from our sponsor up to the Diamonds promised we’d easily be making $100,000 a year but the amounts could run as high as promises of $750,000 a year.

Amway is responsible for what their commissioned salespeople say at Amway meetings no matter how hard they try to deny responsibility. Generally speaking most employers are responsible for what their employees do. Some would argue that IBO’s are not actually employees because they’re under the false impression that they are business owners and own their business. Bottom line these people are still acting as agents for Amway and making representations on Amway's behalf and Amway is responsible for their actions.

When we became members of the “I got screwed over by Amway club” we really got screwed over by our Amway upline and their brainwashing to spend money on buying Amway products, invest in the tool scam, and spend hundreds of dollars on Amway functions and all the travel related costs and admission.

The only way people get rich in Amway is by screwing over the people below them and bringing new recruits into the Amway scam that is why everyone in the downline can claim to belong to the “I got screwed over by Amway club”.

Getting screwed over by Amway Independent Business Owners all under the guise of doing Amway business its the same thing as getting screwed over by Amway.

I know I’m only one of hundreds of thousands of people who became members of the “I got screwed over by Amway club”.

Membership into the “I got screwed over by Amway club” is generally reserved for people who were hoping to make a better life for themselves and their families. The hardest hit members of this club are usually the people who can least afford to lose money: new immigrants, people on social assistance, people already swimming in debt, etc.

Without a doubt I know the people who screwed us over the most were our sponsor, our Platinum, and others in our upline. After all these years I still blame them for our misery and I doubt that will ever completely go away but I see the bigger picture and know that we were really screwed over by Amway on behalf of their agents.

Instead of investing in the Amway scam we should have taken those thousands of dollars and found a better club to become members of. That would cover membership at a lower class golf club. Works for me!

Starclient another Worthless Piece of the Amway WWDB Tool Scam

I’ve referred to this link before from Amquix Info about the former direct talking about the costs http://www.amquix.info/amway_wwdb_direct.html

It was interesting reading about the Starclient software. We had that the first time we were in Amway! I forgot all about it and the $75 every 6 months price tag but the author is correct - its a piece of shit. We had to fill out our order form of the shitty Amway products we (didn’t) want to buy every week and give it to our Platinum, though first we either emailed in the order or gave it over the phone I don’t recall which. I actually had a little bit of experience with Adobe and I would convert that week’s Starclient order form into a PDF file and we’d attach it and email it to her but they couldn’t figure out how to click on the link and read the attachment. 

And yes back in the early part of the 2000 decade we had to place an order with our upline Platinum every week and then go over and pick it up from their house. I can’t recall if Tuesday or Thursday was pick up day. We had to pay by check so if we wanted to charge Amway items to the credit card the upline instead counselled us to get a credit card check for however much money we needed and deposit it into our bank account so we’d have the money available in the account to write checks to buy Amway products from the Platinum.  

Ambot and everyone else we knew who subscribed to Starclient seemed to spend most of their time on the phone with technical support. They did not have a toll free number so this was on the IBO’s nickel for the long distance call. Huge rip off at $75 for each 6 months of using it. Especially when the software didn’t work properly.

They did not have Starclient the last time we were in WWDB Amway. By this time WWDB had switched to premier membership that was $49.95/month so they could scam the IBO’s out of more money. $600 a year with premier membership as opposed to $150 a year for Starclient. What’s more  profitable for the greedy Diamonds? Also by this time all IBO’s were on the Internet placing orders and WWDB premier membership had a monthly accounting reconciliation thing effectively rendering Starclient obsolete. I’d call it useless but it was already that from day one.   

Starclient is just another example of how the upline pressures ambots to invest in the tool scam.

4 Things Never to Buy

4 Things Never to Buy from Amazon Amway

I read this article about 4 things never to buy from Amazon but I decided the same list also applies to Amway.

1. Groceries - that would be anything you buy from Amway that you can stick inside your mouth and consume (food bars, vitamins, XS, Perfect Water, etc)

2. Hardware and Hand Tools - I don’t recall ever seeing any hardware items being sold by Amway but its a good idea not to buy them if they do offer them. Get them much cheaper at Lowes or Home Depot! As for hand tools, lets knock off the “hand”. Do not buy tools from Amway. That’s called investing in the tool scam. Don’t do it!

3. Home Furnishings - I’ve seen some home furnishing from Amway or the Ribbons catalogue. For the most part they’re substandard quality and overpriced. Save money and buy from Walmart.

4. Cleaning Supplies - yup, don’t buy them from Amazon and don’t buy them from Amway either for the same reason listed in the article - too expensive!

The entire article is here:

http://financiallyfit.yahoo.com/finance/article-113458-11013-1-4-things-to-buy-and-not-buy-on-amazoncom?ywaad=ad0035&nc

Make $1000 a Month in Amway and then what?

Our sack of shit Platinum told us he’d show us how to make $1000 a month in Amway and then he’d tell us how to spend it.

Well he never did show us how we could make a thousand a month but most months Ambot easily spent around a thousand purchasing Amway products and tools or indirectly related to purchasing these items such as traveling expenses all under the rabid encouragement of his upline.

Even though we never made any money in Amway we were constantly hounded by the Platinum or others upline of us to spend our money and help make them richer.

Our sack of shit Platinum put it something to the effect that we’re going to use that thousand a month building our company and then our parents were going to get some rest. Nice how the bastard’s got his priorities straight. How does he interpret “building” an Amway business? Buying more Amway products for self consumption or inventory loading or investing in the tool scam. That’s not “building” a company. That’s purchasing shit from Amway and building Amway’s business and making their owners rich. As for our parents getting some rest, I mean what the hell? First off that’s an absolute insult to those of us in the room whose parents are already dead. Second where is it written that children are supposed to start up their own business so they can support their parents and give them some rest?

The Platinum threatened violence against any IBO he spotted driving a new car instead of investing their money back in the Amway business. Yup he was going to punch out the IBO and smash him over and over into the new car until he beat the shit out of both of them.

No worry of anyone in our line buying a new car. They were too busy investing all their money in the Amway scam.

As for the sack of shit’s generous offer of showing us how to spend our money, no thanks asshole. If an extra thousand a month drops into my bank account I can figure out how to spend it all by myself.

Amway WWDB Free Enterprise days and Ganesh and Neha Shenoy

Is it any coincidence that when a major function is coming up that I see a spike in searchers coming to my blog seeking information about Ganesh and Neha Shenoy?

This happened around Family Reunion too. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2011/07/amway-wwdb-family-reunion-and-ganesh.html

Ambots can’t mind their own business!

Those Shenoys are in 7 of my top 10 searches on my blog over the past couple of days!

Ganesh Shenoy Divorce

Ganesh and Neha Shenoy Divorce

Neha Shenoy Divorce

Ganesh and Neha Shenoy

Ganesh and Neha Shenoy to split

Ganesh Neha Shenoy divorce

Why Ganesh and Neha Shenoy divorce

The other top searches all have to do with Free Enterprise Days and one fool who was searching for Amway WWDB Family Reunion 2011 and then when he realized he’s a few bricks short of a load did another search 30 seconds later for FED and returned to a different post on my blog. Lately there’s a lot of interest in Amway dog food. I’m always happy to get the truth out there and help out those searching for more information. http://marriedtoanambot.blogspot.com/2010/10/amway-dog-food.html

At least I hope my searchers are getting a big clue to buy another brand of dog food!

As for the Ganesh and Neha Shenoy divorce ongoing saga its really no one else’s business but you can expect for sure their upline Diamond made it their business. No matter the lies you get told about how Amway saves marriages it just ain’t true. Amway causes emotional and financial distress. Marriage is stressful enough without having to share your bed with Amway. Not to mention a bunch of troublemaking upline who can’t mind their own business and pry into your private life. Its very difficult for a marriage to deal with that kind of stress and the constant lying while you’re ruining lives with your Amway scam.

If Ganesh and Neha Shenoy decide its anyone else’s business why they split up I’m sure they’ll issue a statement for publication on the Internet. If they don’t talk about their marriage breakdown get a clue. It ain’t none of your business! Stop desperately searching for information that has nothing to do with you. I’d say get a life but I realize you’re in Amway and that means your life is controlled by your upline. Get out before what happened to Ganesh and Neha happens to you too!

Retiring Early?

Something I used to hear all the time at Amway meetings was retiring early. When I was in Amway I was always hearing stories about  people who retired in their 20's. I've seen a lot of older Diamonds at Amway functions so it looks like nobody really retires. Diamonds have to keep after new recruits and make sure their downline are toeing the line and buying plenty of Amway products and investing in the tool scam. I think the more correct term is for a few IBOs is some are able to quit their day job and work Amway full time. Even more common are the IBO's who quit their day job to work Amway full time only to discover they couldn't sustain a decent level of living and had to go back to working a job again.

I've had a couple of ambots leave comments on my blog who are 19, 20 years old and they're all going to retire in a year. Yeah, yeah. Maybe if you win the lottery.

I found this article about a couple who did retire early by age 45 and they have some tips here. http://finance.yahoo.com/focus-retirement/article/113590/tips-from-early-retirees-usnews?mod=fidelity-buildingwealth&cat=fidelity_2010_building_wealth

Note they were not involved in any MLM scheme.

The husband worked as a technical writer and that's really only a recent career that's been around for about 20 years. The wife was a travel agent, a commission based job, but she went back to nursing school. These aren't extraordinarily high paying jobs.

They owned a house and were looking to cut housing costs but there wasn't too much room there so they rented out part of their house. I have a couple of different friends who take in foreign exchange students in their house. It doesn't pay all that well but I'd say enough to cover the monthly grocery bill and maybe a good chunk of the gas bill. Another friend of ours converted his garage into an apartment and he lived in there and rented out his house. I think a lot of people can convert part of their house into another living space to rent out if their city zoning laws allow for it and that helps pay the mortage or utility bills. I knew someone whose house was occasionally used for movie and TV shoots, exterior shots and use of the yard. Movie crews never came inside. That's one of the advantages of being a home owner instead of a renter. You can use your home to create income.

They saved their money and invested it and eventually sold their house and invested the equity. Now they travel the world. Unlike Amway Diamonds they live below their means. They seek out inexpensive places to stay and choose countries where the cost of living is low. They do not rule out taking on temporary work to supplement their income and investments.

That's the complete opposite of what we're taught in Amway: working a job is failure.

Not everyone can live like this couple not having any place that they can call home. Staying in one place for a few months and moving on to a new destination. Its not something that could easily be done if there is a family in tow.

Their plan of retiring by age 45 and traveling the world is much better than the Amway business plan of walking the beaches of the world. One is reality. The other is a fairy tale.

What to do in Portland instead of Free Enterprise Days

Amway WWDB is holding Free Enterprise Days in Portland Oregon November 4 to 6 2011.

OK for the most part I’m just copying and pasting from an article I published for Family Reunion.

Sorry Portland! I think I already covered what I deem to be your highlights last time!

However I read a recent article about the top 10 cities for foodies and surprisingly enough to me Portland Oregon was on the list.

Super-green Portland has earned a reputation for its farm-to-table dining, well-crafted microbrews, and 200-odd food trucks. To get a sampling of the most popular — including Namu, excellent Korean-Hawaiian fusion — check out the food truck “pods” at Pioneer Courthouse Square or at SE Hawthorne and 12th Avenue. And don’t be fooled by the notion that these Oregonians are totally health-conscious: another culinary must-stop is Voodoo Doughnuts for its bacon-topped maple bar and the breakfast-cereal-crusted “Captain My Captain.”

The original article is here. http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-40686622

Voodoo Doughnuts! Sounds like my kind of place! A little Google search and I found the web page. http://voodoodoughnut.com/index.php 

Over 90 different donuts! I want one of those Voodoo doll donuts! I get a lot of searchers for “Amway sex” finding their way to Anna Banana’s blog. Maybe because these ambots aren’t getting any because they’re never home!? Voodoo Doughnuts can  help those obsessed with Amway sex with the donut creation Cock-N-Balls. I would have liked to copy and paste some of their images here but they’ve got some code in their web page that prevents me from copying their donut pictures.

A Google search tells me that Portland has a lot of museums and Oriental inspired gardens and parks. Not really my thing but certainly if someone held a gun to my head and told me to choose between going to an Amway WWDB function or a museum, I’d go to the The Hat Museum.  Admission is $15, way cheaper than being bored to death by a bunch of aging Diamonds ripping off IBO’s.

No one will want to miss the Church of Elvis. Its in the store window of a shop in Chinatown. Has a coin operated movie that you can plug from the sidewalk. So I’d call it nearly free. Spooky coincidence that the poor bastards attending FED will also be up and about pretty much 24 hours a day because the brainwashing techniques work better on sleep deprivation. I’d rather hear what the Church of Elvis movie has to say at 2 in the morning than the sack of shit Platinum!

House Spirits Distillery tour and tasting. Yummy! Have to be 21. There is a fee for tasting but if you buy a bottle it will be waived. This will make you forget about those nasty Amway IBO’s!

Widmer Brothers Brewing  Free tour. Free beer. Need I say more?

The Oregon Zoo  Adult admission is $10.50. A little cheaper for other age groups. It’ll be fun to visit the bear exhibit and imagine feeding your upline to the grizzlies!

For anyone really interested in visiting Portland, Oregon and doing tourist attraction things see Trip Advisor http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g52024-Activities-Portland_Oregon.html#TtD for suggestions. Most attractions are museums and parks.