Thursday, January 30, 2014
Amway Courier Can’t Get It Done
A friend works in an office building that’s about 14 or 15 stories high. Her company is spread out over 3 or 4 floors I think of the building. There’s retail stores and a coffee shop on the ground floor and all kinds of different businesses and offices on the upper floors.
I went to her building to meet her for lunch. I went up to the floor where she works and chatted with the receptionist while I waited for my friend to come out. The mail girl showed up pushing the mail cart and dropped off some things to the receptionist. One of the things she pulls out is a courier card and she’s not sure how it ended up in her cart, who put it there, and the two of them are having a discussion about it. It appears the courier tried to drop off something after hours. After 5pm the building’s elevators shut down and have to be activated with a security card. Staff in all the companies get security cards specific to their floor so if they come in before or after their shift they can get to their floor but they won’t be able to get to floor of other companies.
First of all I’m thinking what the hell courier is dropping off after 5pm. I know a man who drives a courier truck and he says they make their deliveries in the morning and pick ups in the afternoon. Then he has to get to their warehouse by 4pm for sorting and to make sure the packages going by overnight air courier get to the airport.
But then the mail girl floors me. She says the dreaded “A” word. You know the word that ambots avoid saying. Amway! Its an Amway courier. Now that catches my attention. Amway has their own courier company delivering packages of shit to nasty little ambots. Doubt it.
As far as I remember we used to get Amway’s packages of shit delivered by good old USPS. So I don’t know if Amway has abolished the mail and delivering everything by courier now or if whoever ordered the shitty overpriced products was in a big hurry to get them and begged Amway to send them by courier. Did he run of prestige toilet paper?
And why would an ambot want to embarrass themselves and have Amway send the package of shit to their workplace so everyone knows you’re a loser who bought overpriced shitty Amway products. We never had Amway shit delivered to our shop. Always to our house. If we weren’t home the mailman just left the box of shit on our top step its not like we had to sign for anything. Nobody every stole it. Damn it! Who would want shitty Amway products unless they’re a brainwashed Amway ambot.
It would be just too fucking embarrassing to have something with Amway written all over delivered to the workplace. And why would a person who works in a company where it can’t be delivered to their desk want their box of shit delivered there. Talk about fucking embarrassing having a box with Amway written on it delivered to where you work and all the hands its got to touch before it gets to your desk. Mailroom person, receptionist, etc. Embarrasment aside, its causing extra work for coworkers to handle a package which is clearly a personal thing and not something work related. Amway ambots are inconsiderate pricks that way. They don’t give a fuck about anyone else if they’re not making a buck off them. They think they’re better than everyone else and that’s why the rest of the world should cater to their every need. So let their lowly coworkers be inconvenienced. None of their coworkers are big shot hot shit business owners like they are.
So the mail girl is standing there holding a courier missed delivery card because the courier arrived sometime after 5pm. Isn’t it just like Amway to contract the services of a courier company that can’t get their deliveries completed during normal working hours.
Mail girl and receptionist look at the card and there is no clue which of the several hundred employees it should be delivered to in their company though why anyone would want a box of overpriced shitty products is another mystery and one that they weren’t trying to solve.
As you might guess I came to the rescue with my suggestion. There’s only one thing you can do with anything Amway.
“Throw it in the garbage.”
And the mail girl crumpled up the card and dumped it.
Don’t we all wish it could be that easy to get rid of everything Amway!