Amway Cult Leaders Demand To See Your Budget

I was surprised when Ambot announced that the sack of shit Platinum wanted to see our budget.

“That’s really none of his fucking business,” I responded. “Its not like he works for a bank and we’re going for a loan.”

“But if we’re serious business builders then he says we have to show him a budget,” Ambot argued. Yep that was total Amway speak and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why the hell the Platinum wanted to see our budget other than Ambot’s loose explanation that the Platinum wanted to help us create a budget that we could follow and help us get financially on track. Let’s see - is he a financial planner? I was pretty sure he has a government job that’s not finance related? But then I forget that not minding their own business is a prerequisite for being a sack of shit Amway Platinum.

I had created a budget sometime during the past couple of years after reading a book written by a financial advisor and one of the exercises was to create a budget. Then I started reading books by another financial advisor who didn’t recommend creating budgets because over 90% of people don’t follow them anyway which is totally true in our case. The budget I had saved on the computer was good enough for me without updating any changes and I printed it out for Ambot.

The Platinum was impressed and said we were in much better shape than most of his downline. Well no shit there’s a reason for that particularly because other than mortgage and business costs we had no debt. We owned our cars and had investments and savings. This is just part of life experience. People in their 20’s who are starting out still have to save up a down payment to buy their first house and they probably took out a loan to buy a car. And probably have credit card debt.

So the fucker wants to see our budget to guide us financially on track when we’re in better financial shape than him?

In hindsight I know the Platinum wanted to see our budget to see how much wiggle room we had to buy Amway products and invest in tools when he saw the difference between our income and expenses. The real reason he was impressed was that we had no debt on our credit cards with about 100K available. That’s a lot of Amway products we can charge not to mention we had nothing holding us back from attending out of state functions. “Just charge it!” We have equity in our house so again the Platinum must have seen $$$ signs that we could get a line of credit against that equity if we needed. Oh and he must have loved decent 401k available that we could cash in to donate to the Amway cult.

While coming up with this post I looked at the revised budget I did after the Platinum meeting so he must have given me some Amway stuff to add in. Under PV there is $300 budgeted each month. (If you read previous posts you’ll know that Ambot purchased closer to $1000 each month for PV. What did I say about not following a budget????) This is under household where I have things like groceries, utilities, etc. Under (Amway) “business” expenses are 3 items (HA!): web page $50 (that would have actually been the WWDB Premier membership), Communikate $34, and samples $60, totalling $144/month in business expenses. Plus $300 personal shopping for PV = $444. That’s approximately what I said in the SaveFirst, Spend Later blog on a lowball monthly Amway investment. Add in functions and budget $700/month minimum. A little more than what the sack of shit had us put on the budget.

The budget was never referred to ever again. Kind of like the name list. Just produce one to show the Platinum that you have one and no need to bring it up again.

But did the Platinum give us any concrete advice on how much money to put into the Amway budget. During the first few months when he was “fired up” Ambot threw away close to $2000/month on various things having to do with Amway - buying products, buying tools, entertaining fucking assholes in the Amway upline, etc. After he hit the limit on that credit card the spending was reduced to around $500/month.

So much for the budget. If I was actually keeping one I’d have to add in a new column for paying back credit card debt thanks to Amway.