Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Ben Escapes! Buh Bye Amway!



Thanks to Ben for sharing his Amway story.

When I got out of college last year, I got a job in telemarketing (yes I was one of those people for a brief period, and it actually does work...unbelievably). When I was there I met a nice young man a little older than I (I believe he was 29 and I am 27). The rest of the people at the job were either from halfway houses, or career job hoppers. The churn rate for the business was roughly 50-70% of new employees every month, and then there were some older folks that had been there much longer.

Getting back to the point at hand.

The guy I met was unlike the rest, because he always had a smile on his face, had genuine enthusiasm for life, and above all else, ambition. We gravitated towards each other, because we were so different from the rest and had expectations of making a great life for ourselves. He eventually brought up an analogy when we were hanging out, and I had no idea how loaded (set up for an affirmative response) it truly was. He asked me, "If you had to shovel shit for 3 years and didn't paid, would you do it if you were paid $250,000 a year after that for the rest of your life." My immediate thought was yes, and saw the parallels of that with going to college, because that to me was like shoveling shit and hoping to get a $50,000 plus career starting out. This is when the coffee meetings began to occur and our friendship went into a weird cross section of creepy personal information mixed with business dreams.

He made me read a book from Robert Kiyosaki called Businesses of the 21st Century, and asked if I had ever heard of this BILLIONAIRE before. I said no, because 1. He is not a billionaire, and 2. Anyone outside of Amway or other MLM's wouldn't know about this fly.

After reading the book, we met again and I was a little shaken. I didn't learn anything business related from the book, and his writing was atrocious. He told me I would understand more once we went to see a meeting where Robert's tools were implemented. We ended up going to a weird church in the middle of nowhere and saw Amway diamond Mike Carrol (to preface this Mike Carrol is completely uneducated and worthless).

We went to the meeting and Mike Carrol did an ego massage that was surrounded with cheers as everyone rejoiced at his wonderful success and lifestyle. I could've given two shits...I was here to learn how to make money. He finally got to the business plan in the last 10 minutes of the 2 hour meeting and it consisted of circles and purchasing from your store. I was more confused than ever and was sure I was witnessing a pyramid scheme. The products were completely unnecessary and the sole source of income generation was recruiting 12 circles and then teaching them to each recruit 12 circles...clearly not mathematically probable and eventually an impossibility. I have to go back for a moment and mention that he paid cash supposedly for everything, but at the end he talked about the Amway credit card...clearly nobody else noticed a very big issue. He reiterated the pyramid idea by suggesting he gets paid every time one of his down line makes a "shwipee" with their credit card...clearly he isn't moving any product they are just unlucky enough to be below him.

I told my friend I still don't understand the business, and he said how could you not understand...that was it. I began to feel slimy and used...but I didn't stop there. He encouraged me to go to a meeting at his house.

We went to his house and his upline held a meeting. The meeting was strange, because everyone still had to dress up as we sat in his living room with a pen and paper (completely unnecessary). His upline was an eagle which means he was essentially at the bottom like the rest of us, and I was in the room with his entire team. He described how wonderful the business was for him and his wife, and they were planning on retiring next year (officially this year, and they are completely full of bovine excrement...BS as the lament term). I asked about the numbers previously from my friend, and he said that is not important...WTF he kept saying I was going to be his business partner and yet he doesn't know numbers!??!?! His upline however, was supposed to know all of that stuff...he explained that the costs were split in such a way that if I diverted a small portion of my monthly income towards Amway, I essentially wouldn't notice that it was gone and eventually I would get a grand return. Sorry folks, that isn't how business works...

I wish I could say the story ended there, but it doesn't...I did end up attending an FED last October, but I won't go into details about that because this post has already gotten massively long.

Coming full circle...the reason why I think it is a cult as well is, A. The ridiculous need for business attire, B. The bizarre literature they have you read and the edification of people beyond their actual value, C. The lack of a coherent business plan, and the inability to distinguish numbers, and D. The fact that they use diversion tactics to answer meaningful questions, and or not answer them all but rather send you to a different meeting or a different person.






Monday, August 29, 2016

Join Amway To Become Ambot Server



A comment left by an ambot stated that he is in Amway to “serve” others so I decided to revisit the whole Amway ambot server thing.

Our Platinum sack of shit would stroke up Ambot’s ego by calling him a “server”. And then he’d dish out the bullshit about how God put Ambot on earth with a calling to “serve” other people.

And Ambot would just glow with pride when the sack of shit pointed him out at an Amway meeting to praise this wonderful “server”.

I mean what the fuck!?

I’m not saying its a bad thing to help out your fellow human beings when they need a hand and many people “bless” others with gifts offered out of the kindness of their hearts with no expectation of repayment. And certainly there are people who have a calling to serve others such as our military, police, firemen, clergy, nurses, doctors, etc. There are a lot of people who have the calling to serve others in some respect.

Its the screwed up manner in which our Platinum calls people “servers” and that they have a calling to “serve”, “bless”, or “help” others as part of a bullshit Amway mantra that pisses me off.

And the fact that an ambot shows up at my blog and leaves a brainwashed comment about how he is in Amway to “serve” others tells me this same bullshit is still being taught years after we dropped out of the Amway cult.

It was just part of the bullshit that would spew out of the Platinum’s mouth about how IBO’s were on earth to “help” others or “bless” others or “serve” others. I guess its to pump them up and think they’re actually undertaking some noble task by using those words to justify their existence in Amway and holding on to an elusive dream even while they’re losing money. Helping humanity. Yeah right. Helping them to the poor house and divorce courts is more like it!

The usual way Ambot got to “serve” his Platinum was buying him coffee whenever they met at the coffee shop and bringing it to him. Probably with a little bow and a little prayer and here you go exalted leader who I worship more than anything else in my life. What about all those “sharp Amway businessmen” in the coffee shop wearing their business suits and clutching their cell phones and none of them offered to buy the sack of shit Platinum a coffee. None of those Amway assholes were servers? Or were their wallets empty? Yup. A pack of broke Amway losers taking up space in a coffee shop not buying anything.

When the fucking Platinum hollers out “Can someone buy me a sandwich” and Ambot is the only one to jump that’s what makes him such a good “server”. The only reason he was a better “server” than the rest of the “sharp businessmen” in attendance was because he had the funds to cover a coffee and sandwich.

Ambot continued to serve, help, or bless the Platinum whenever it was commanded of him. Coffee, sandwiches, errands, car rides, help around the house. He was right front and center so he wouldn’t lose his very important status as “the blessed server”.

The only person the sack of shit Platinum wants his Amway downline to serve is himself. Help him get rich that is by buying more products and tools and any errands he needs done so he doesn’t have to get his lazy ass going for the menial tasks he thinks are beneath his dignity as an Amway cult leader.

Greedy son of a bitch. This is one creepy Scamway bastard. But can you blame him? A prerequisite of being a successful Amway IBO is to be driven by greed. IBO’s with a conscience will never become part of the elite less than a tiny fraction of 1% who make money in Amway.

And that is why Ambot could never become successful at Amway no matter how good a “server” he is. He can’t in good conscience rip off other people and make their lives miserable.

Anna Banana is a server too. This blog serves to help other women know they’re not alone. There are other women out there who are married to Ambots who have survived the Amway hell storm. This blog serves to tell how IBOs are treated by their upline and that our experience is not unique. There are stories like mine all over the Internet about upline abuse and brainwashing. And while serving these unhappy women married to ambots we’ve noticed a shift. Men are finding us with stories about how their wife is the ambot. I still think that’s a temporary thing. Amway’s male chauvinist pig club will never let a woman scramble too far up the pyramid.


Ha! That sack of shit Platinum never expected me to be a “server”. Never saw it coming did you you fucking pompous sack of shit Amway asshole!

So one more time I send out a big old FUCK YOU to our Platinum and all the fucking assholes in our Amway upline for what you did to our lives!





Friday, August 26, 2016

Baby Turns 6!



Couldn’t let Married To An Ambot’s birthday go by without saying a few words.

6 years baby! Happy birthday!

Its been awhile since we’ve posted statistics so here’s where we’re at after 6 years which shows there’s huge interest in a blog like this that tells it like it is and the money lost thanks to Amway and putting up with fucking Amway assholes. And the satisfying revenge – cursing out those sick bastards. Visitors fluctuate but the approximate breakdown for every 1000 visitors is about 800 from the U.S., the next 150 split between Canada and India, and the balance from the rest of the world. One day I took a look and about 11,500 visitors were from the states and 3,000 split, not all that evenly but the next 4 countries were India, Canada, the UK and Australia. The rest of the world doesn’t have all that much interest in finding out what its really like being inside the Amway cult but visitors from a few other countries show up daily.

Most visitors in one day in 2016 was 17,922. And there’s still a few months left. Will that number be broken? LOL! Speaking of fluctuation visitors go down in December. And that’s as it should be. People should have more important things going on over the holidays than sitting down at a computer reading about getting scammed by Amway but the Ambots searching for Dream Night keep the numbers up in December.

What does everybody see? Amway and their devoted Ambots must HATE those visitor numbers. A popular blog that’s high on the search engines for just about everything Amway related or not. Who remembers people searching for how to say fuck in Igbo? LOL! Pretty close to saying fuck IBO so we reel in people who only want a language translation for fuck and don’t want nothing to do with Scamway. LOL! Well who in their right mind wants anything to do with fucking Amway. Everytime someone visits this blog they help bump it up higher in the search engines. I get people who have nothing to do with Amway and if they’re smart don’t want nothing to do with Scamway who are planning to visit Denver or Fort Lauderdale and they end up at one of those posts about better things to do in town than go to an Amway function. Sorry folks. One of the joys of being a popular blog.

I read an article that says less than 1% of blog visitors leave comments. And that’s about right for this blog. Only a tiny fraction of 1% of blog visitors leave a comment.

You know what else is only a tiny fraction of 1%? The number of IBO’s who make money in Amway. Don’t believe me? Look at one of Amway’s brochures that Ambots are supposed to give out to prospects. The one that’s got a bunch of circles on it and expected income. “Expected income” LOL! If you can pull off the Amway shit of signing up 6 people who sign up 6 people and so on and so on and all of them buys hundreds of dollars in shitty overpriced Amway products every month. It looks good on paper doesn’t it. The reality is its unlikely any IBO can pull it off. Its hard to sign up ONE person to a pyramid scheme let alone 6. Look down at the small print at the bottom of the page where Amway doesn’t want you to look that shows a number something like .0000367% of participants will make money. That’s over 99% failure rate. I never looked at the small print until I’d gotten really fucking pissed off with losing money to Amway and putting up with Amway’s fucking cult leaders and all the other fucking losers in Amway that plagued my life.

What an ah ha moment when I read on the Internet about looking at the small print on Amway’s brochure and then I scouted around the house until I found where Ambot kept Amway’s bullshit propaganda and sure enough there it was in the small print – Amway like so many other companies counts on nobody ever reading the small print - only a tiny fraction of Amway IBO’s will make money. In other words we don’t have a hope in hell of making money in Amway.

Amway is a system designed for failure. As are most pyramid schemes.

Can’t say that enough around here.

This blog is all about sharing our stories of financial and emotional distress thanks to fucking Amway. And all that shit we had to take from the fucking assholes in our Amway upline. Yup this blog mainly exists to curse out those bastards. But we’re also happy cursing out shitty overpriced Amway products and anything Amway.

So let’s throw in another big old FUCK YOU to Amway and all those fucking Amway Ambots out there. FUCK YOU!!!

And rather than say fuck you Amway one more time lets say something that those Amway fuckers are really going to hate.

How about one more happy birthday…. And many more…..

Happy birthday baby!