Thursday, February 11, 2016

Amway Quacks

When an IBO signs up to be a commissioned sales rep with Amway that also means they now become a professional expert on everything.

Yes everything. Fuck those college degrees. You can become an expert by paying a couple of hundred a year to become a card carrying Amway asshole. That’s only the membership fee. Doesn’t include the thousands of dollars you have to spend to keep the Amway upline happy.

What’s really scary are Amway ambots dispensing medical advice. Their “patients” suffer from various illnesses and because the ambot is in Amway that means they are now a medical professional and can treat and cure these diseases.

Its really scary the comments that have been left here and questions asked. Amway ambots are telling people with terminal illnesses that Amway products will cure what ails them and patients are searching the Internet to check out the claims made by these Amway quacks.

25 years ago Ambot and I took one of those weekend first aid courses so that meant we were the most medically trained professionals in our line of sponsorship. That plus the fact we’ve watched on TV just about every medical drama out there. Every ambot in our group would phone for medical advice. For christsake! – see a real doctor. And sometimes they did but they would still come to us for a second opinion because we were better qualified than highly trained doctors because we were in Amway.

My long ago first aid training consists of learning to do the Heimlich maneuver, CPR, and put on bandages. Don’t come to me for medical advice. If you got a splinter in your finger I can probably help you. If you’re dying of cancer I’m not going to suggest you take Amway snake oil for your miracle cure. But that’s because I’ve got morals and I’m no liar and I’m not trying to fuck a buck out of you by scamming you. An Amway quack standing at the gateway to hell will lie just to get your money for the phony medical advice they give.

Amway ambots have no morals. They’re only out to make a buck so these Amway quacks have no problem dispensing bad medical advice while pretending they have a medical degree from Amway university.

Amway ambots are quick to insult doctors who actually went to medical school and got degrees. What a waste of money when its so much cheaper to become an Amway quack.

Amway quacks also use some bullshit line about would you ask your friend for advice on surgery instead of a real surgeon. Ambots don’t even see surgeons and instead they do ask their Amway quack friends for surgery and medical advice. Ambots seek medical advice from Amway quacks instead of qualified doctors who graduated from medical school with a degree.

Amway ambots are know it alls. Today they might be an Amway quack dispensing medical advice and tomorrow they might be an ambulance chaser giving legal advice.

“Paging Dr. Quack. Paging Dr. Quack. Amway is calling.”

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Waking Up Even When I’m Not Done Sleeping

Last night was one of those nights when I kept waking up. I couldn’t stay asleep. I finally woke up just after 6am an ungodly hour of the day for me. I’ll probably go outside and lie down on the lounge chair with a book and end up falling asleep in the sun and then I’ll really be groggy for the rest of the day!

At the many Amway meetings I attended the cult leader speaking to the group would say something to the effect of “wouldn’t it be great to wake up in the morning when you’re done sleeping”. I know I heard our sack of shit Platinum said that at every Scamway meeting that his wife gets up once she’s done sleeping. Sounds a little irresponsible when you have school age children. Their kids were teenagers - a boy and a girl - I think about 13 and 14 at the time. Does mom not want to make sure the kids are getting themselves out of bed on time, eating a decent breakfast, packing a lunch, and making sure they get out the door? Would Platinum dad be doing all this? Unlikely. That asshole is a male chauvinist pig and childcare he would put under the category of “woman’s work”. In which case his wife is very likely getting out of bed when the sack of shit shakes her awake and says “you’re done sleeping. Get up now! I want my fucking breakfast!”

The main reason the Platinum says his wife gets out of bed when she’s done sleeping is to sneer at the downline who have jobs and set their alarm clock daily and get out of bed in time to get to work.

“Wake up when you’re done sleeping” is something I have a hard time getting my head wrapped around. First off most parents who have school age children don’t laze around in bed and get up when they’re “done sleeping”. Maybe - and that’s a big maybe depending on how mature and responsible the kid is - once the kid is a junior or senior and is capable of getting themselves out of bed on time, dressed, eat breakfast and off to school. I know I was just as likely to play hooky as go to school. Just because your kid goes out the door doesn’t mean they don’t have better things to do for the day than go to school. Parents who have younger children need to get them out of bed, dressed, prepare breakfast, fix a lunch bag, and walk them to school unless there are older siblings who can walk with the younger child. Its my guess that most stay at home parents wake up by at least 7am. They probably don’t go back to bed once everyone is out the door either.

Unless of course you’re a lazy ass IBO who is following the upline’s advice about not getting out of bed until you’re done sleeping.

Unlike what the Amway assholes say about wouldn’t it be nice not to have to wake up to an alarm clock every morning I very rarely set my alarm clock. If I set my alarm its because I have somewhere to be early. Alarm clock or not I’d say that I very rarely wake up when I’m “done sleeping”. Like today for example! I ain’t done sleeping yet! So I’m working on a blog post!

Just because Platinums and Diamonds praise the value of staying in bed until you’re “done sleeping” doesn’t mean its something everyone aspires to do and not something that is necessarily practical. I guess none of them ever heard of Benjamin Franklin and “early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”.

I wouldn’t say that I necessarily go to bed early though since we’re no longer in Amway I’m able to get to bed before midnight. Does it make me healthy waking up early? When I get up I walk the dog, have something light to eat, and then I go to the Y to swim or do an exercise class. Healthy enough I suppose. Or healthier than lying around in bed until I’m “done sleeping”.

Let’s compare that to an Amway IBO. Say the lazy bastard hauls ass out of bed around noon. They go to the kitchen to prepare a meal of an XS energy drink, food bar, and vitamins. Next will probably be checking email, text messages, and making lots of phone calls. Next thing its late in the afternoon and the laundry and housecleaning aren’t done. What about yard work? When was the last time the lawn was mowed or the garden weeded? Who’s got time for that? Now its time for counselling with downline because they’re starting to get off work now and then the 8pm board plan meeting and the night owl. Arrive back home around 2am and do it all over again the next day.

Lying around in bed is a waste of time to many people. I’ve always gone with the philosophy that the quicker I can get things done the quicker I can relax. Even though I can lay around in bed until noon if I wanted I don’t do it because the day is getting away from me.

Waking up when I’m done sleeping does not work for me.

Neither does waking up when I’m not done sleeping!

But I still press on.

At least I’m not an Amway asshole who lies around in bed half the day because of a feeling of entitlement because that’s what the upline tells them to aspire to - get up when they’re done sleeping.

And those Amway fuckers call us lazy!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Taxes Are A Sign Of Success - Unless You’re A Brainwashed Amway Ambot

Nobody likes paying taxes, but something brainwashed Amway Ambots fail to understand is that paying taxes is a sign that you’re successful and profitable in your career. To sum it up simply, make two columns: income and expenses. Total them up. If the income total is higher than the expense total then yay business is going great. But oh shit you got to pay taxes on that income. But that’s a sign of success being profitable in your business. Then the reverse is that the column with the expenses total is higher than the income. Oops business isn’t going so good and for some businesses it takes awhile for the income to grow or maybe its been a bad business year. When you have more expenses that you can write off against your income then you’ll get a refund at tax time. Damn! Business is the shits.

Or if you’re a dumb fuck Amway Ambot you brag you’re getting a tax refund which is pretty much what is taught at Amway meetings that’s the secret to making money in Amway. You write off EVERY Amway expense yup all this shitty food bars and vitamins and the cat piss energy drinks and Communikate and books and tickets to functions and hotels against the income from your real job and you’ll get a refund. So that’s why you hear Amway Ambots lying about how business is going great and at the same time bragging about how they got a tax refund. Bunch of lying scamming fucking Amway assholes.

Uncle Sam disagrees that the only way for an Amway Ambot to make money at their scam is through a tax refund. AUDIT!!!! I mean the IRS has a whole handbook dedicated to Amway IBO’s for their staff to consult because the IRS has determined Amway is an expensive social club and the cult followers have no chance of making money selling soap and snake oil. Does the IRS have a whole handbook dedicated to McDonald’s employees or Chipotle staff? Unlikely because they’re probably not lying scamming tax cheats like Amway Ambots. What does that tell you. There are cases published online about how Ambots are getting audited through scamming on their taxes. And when you’re considering what expenses you can write off, Uncle Sam doesn’t count groceries and household supplies unless of course that’s the nature of your business like you run a restaurant or take in laundry for a living. And even those types of business are looking for ways to keep their costs down and wouldn’t buy overpriced shitty Amway products. So if you can stick it in your mouth and swallow it, don’t expense it on your taxes or you’ll be up shit creek.

I also want to say another scenario for legitimate business owners - not Amway scammers with their pretend business - is that you can get a good accountant and a good financial consultant and with the right investments and write offs you can bring your taxable income down as much as possible and pay less taxes. That’s mostly what real business owners worry about it. How they can pay less taxes.

The assholes in our Amway upline told us that everything to do with “the business” is tax deductible. 

Our upline even said our dog food is tax deductible because our dog guards the house where we have Amway meetings.

Now does everyone remember how you can tell when an Amway Ambot is lying? …. Their mouth is moving!

We were told that all Amway products we buy are tax deductible. I seriously doubted that and so did our accountant whose services we use for our legitimate business. The upline made it sound like anything and everything about Amway products and tools is tax deductible and we’ll get our money back in the form of tax refunds and therefore its all free. 

For some people this makes it easier to keep shelling out money if they’re given the hope that it will all be returned at the end of the year in the way of a tax refund. To hear upline tell it, this business, if nothing else, is a great tax shelter.

Uncle Sam might disagree.

This is a good example of why its not a good idea to take everything the assholes in the Amway upline says as gospel truth especially in areas that aren’t of their expertise. A person working a J.O.B. as an unskilled laborer or slinging burgers while walking the Amway path to financial freedom (LOL!) is probably not the best expert on what is and what is not a legitimate tax deduction especially if they've never hired the services of a professional accountant. You know an accountant who went to a real business school. Not some jackshit fucking Amway asshole who’s a pretend accountant because he got a degree at Amway University and that qualifies him to give pretend financial advice to dumb asses running pretend Amway businesses.

Fortunately Ambot took the counsel of our knowledgeable, experienced accountant instead of his upline when it came to acceptable tax deductions.

As our accountant tells it to us - save all receipts except for the grocery bills and they can write them off. That would disqualify anything edible/consumable that Amway sells as a tax write off.

That was contradictory advice from the assholes in our Amway upline. They told us to buy Amway drinks and food bars and vitamins because they have high PV/BV.

The same items our accountant tells us that we can not claim on our tax return because they fall under the grocery category.

Use your own judgement on this one. Fortunately Ambot did. Our upline were a bunch of scammers and liars as they shoved the Amway business opportunity down everyone's throats. I disregarded everything they said anyway and am sure glad I didn't listen to them try to scam us about legitimate tax deductions.

So the moral of the story is don’t take tax advice from a lying scamming fucking Amway asshole.