Thursday, December 18, 2014

15 Worst Amway Products To Find Under The Christmas Tree

I read an article obviously written by someone with a sense of humor who has a list of the 15 worst items for the holiday wish list from Amazon.

Oddly enough all of those Amazon items I can absolutely see Amway wanting to get on board and offer the same things to the ambots. Oh sure. Some Amway asshole is going to show up here and claim that Amway already offers cremation services and bags of bones!

So seeing as how every Amway meeting I attended the cult leader would be comparing Amway and Amazon (I say Amazon rules!) I have taken the opportunity by choosing the 15 worst Amway items to find under the Christmas tree.

What?! Only 15?! I have to stop at 15???!!!!  Shit! How do I narrow it down? Amway has so many shitty overpriced products I’d hate to find any of them under the Christmas tree. So here is my 15 in no particular order and like I say I hate to stop at only 15.

  1. XS (Cat Piss Water) Energy Drinks
  2. Perfect Water
  3. Any kind of Nutrilite vitamin
  4. SA8 Laundry Soap
  5. Amway Dish Drops dishwasher detergent
  6. Amway Trim Advantage
  7. Glister toothpaste
  8. Satinique shampoo
  9. Amway Debut tampons
  10. Any kind of Nutrilite food bars
  11. Artistry lipstick
  12. Nutripet dog food
  13. Artistry eye shadow
  14. Artistry time defiance cream
  15. Any Amway CD

The really scary thing is that when we were in the Amway cult can see my Ambot going out and buying those shitty Amway products to give to me or others as Christmas presents.

Talk about a really fucking nasty surprise when you get up on Christmas morning and see what's under the tree!


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Amway Ambot Deathtrap - Unable To Deliver On Promises

One thing that legitimate business owners learn (sometimes the hard way) is to always deliver what you promised. Whether that’s a product or a service if you tell the customer that a product will be available or a job will be complete at a certain time for the agreed upon amount of money – make sure you follow through on your promise or you won’t be in business very long. If there are delays or other issues let the customer know ASAP. Depending on what the product/service is this will give the customer the opportunity to go elsewhere to get what they need.

Customer fulfillment in a timely manner isn’t something that companies who do sales over the Internet can do better than a store where people walk into and do business. If I need toilet paper NOW I’m heading for the store to buy it. I don’t want to place an online order for it and wait a few days, a week, or more to get something that we need NOW. Same thing with tampons, diapers, etc. There are certain things that if you get a rude surprise you are out of you need to hop in the car and get to the store and buy it before it turns into a bigger problem. There is no online store that can deliver goods faster than most people can get to the store and buy it.

There are things that people can buy online cheaper than in a store and they don’t mind waiting a few days to get their product. Books. This is where Amazon makes a killing and they sell many other products besides books. Spend $25 and get free shipping. Most people would spend that much. Buy a couple of books and a CD and you’re there.

What does Amway have as a minimum charge to ship products for free to their customers? $100? $200  now? And one could argue that it doesn’t take much to buy $100 worth of shitty Amway products either seeing as how they charge 3, 4, 5 times as much as what a similar product would cost everywhere else you shop. The kicker is that the free shipping is not for IBO’s. Less than 5% of Amway’s customers are not IBO’s. That means over 95% of Amway’s customers got to pay for shipping and most ambots have to spend way over $300 to reach their 100PV monthly quota to qualify for a commission check. You’d think those fucking cheap bastards at Amway’s head office could cover the shipping costs for all their customers because they’re already making a huge profit due to their grossly overpriced products.

Online stores usually advise their customer how long they can expect to wait to receive the product. Let’s say a week if the item is in stock if its going regular USPS. You could also pay more money to get the item couriered overnight.

What happens when you get that item and its not what you expected? That’s where online shopping gets a little tricky. Now you’re dealing with the hassle to go to the post office and ship it back and waiting for a replacement or a refund. Stores are a lot easier. You go in and say the shoes don’t fit or the milk is sour and you get a replacement product or a refund pretty quickly.

Products you buy in stores usually have some reason why you buy it. Maybe Tony is telling you that his cereal tastes great or you went to a friend’s house and they had this potato chip that tastes incredible or someone recommends you try something. Or maybe you just take a chance on a new product because of some advertising you saw. There was something that promised you this would be a product you’d like.

So how do Amway ambots make promises? Buy Amway’s Perfect Water. It cures cancer. Take Nutrilite vitamins. It cures AIDS. Try Amway’s prestige tampons. They don’t leak. Try Amway’s dish soap. It’ll get your dishes clean. A bunch of lies but what else do you expect from a lying scheming Amway asshole.

What’s the other thing Amway ambots overpromise and undeliver on? That Amway products are priced sky high to reflect their high quality. Holy fuck. If Amway priced their products to reflect their true quality, they’d open a store called “Nothing Costs More Than A Buck!”

Amway and their Ambot commissioned salespeople sell shitty overpriced products. Products that are substandard or generic quality compared to the lower priced, higher quality products sold in grocery and drug stores.

Amway ambots will shower gushing praise on Amway products to scam people into buying them thinking they’re better quality than they are. It doesn’t take long for people to realize the Amway products are shit and they got ripped off by the lying Amway asshole who sold it to them.

And that’s the Amway Ambot deathtrap. Unable to deliver on their promise that Amway products are better than what you’re currently buying at the store. No one wants to keep buying from these lying Amway bastards so customers take their business back to the stores where they can buy higher quality products at lower prices. Unable to deliver on promises - the Amway deathtrap. Everyone else sells better products for better prices and no matter how much Amway assholes lie, consumers figure out pretty fast they got fucked over.

That’s something that a real business owner never does. That is if they want to maintain their customer base and grow their business.



Monday, December 15, 2014

The Amway Masturbator Loves This Blog!

Every now and then this Amway asshole shows up here posting anonymously and saying he’s an independent product tester.

Yeah right. Product testers want to get their names/business out there so they’d be posting with their profile name that links to their website.

But this is Amway. Its all about being a liar and scamming others. Its all about owning a pretend business and giving yourself a pretend business owner title. Most Amway ambots choose something like President. I’ve never seen an Amway asshole pretend to be a product tester until the Amway Masturbator showed up here.

There are legitimate companies out there that test products and report their findings to consumer magazines. Sometimes surveys and test panels are hired by news media. And there’s that one in Europe that Amway hires that no one on this side of the world has heard of and no one can remember the name – Euromonitor? – I think. Companies like Amway go to that European firm, some kind of marketing group, and pay to have their products put on a list. I guess the more you pay the higher up the list you go. Amway paid enough to have Artistry put on the list at #2 for “prestige” cosmetics. Like what woman out there gives a fuck about “prestige” when buying cosmetics or anything else for that matter. Other things are more important like price, performance, name brand, etc.

The Amway Masturbator who’s pretending to be an independent tester has a major hard on for SA8 laundry soap and gloats his loving praise all over it like any other fucked up brainwashed Amway ambot does. I don’t know if he jerks off over other Amway products but everytime he shows up here he’s fucking and fondling Amway’s SA8. And we get it Amway ambots are liars so take that lie a little further and pretend you run an independent product testing company that always puts shitty overpriced Amway products at the top of the list. The lying Amway Masturbator does not say what other laundry soaps were tested, who were on the panel, the criteria used for determining what laundry soaps were good or bad, etc etc. Fucking lying Amway weasel!

$40 or $50 for substandard Amway laundry soap is not going to come out well in any legitimate product testing panel which uses price point as part of the testing criteria. In other words which product gives consumers the best bang for their buck. Consumer reports for many years put Tide at the top for getting laundry clean. At a quarter of the cost that Amway charges for their shitty SA8.

But you’d never get that lying little Amway bastard to admit it. Off in the pretend world of pretending to be a product tester where Amway always comes out on top whether or not any other products were actually tested or not is not important to a lying Amway asshole.

The Amway Masturbator uses Amway’s SA8 to jerk off while at the same time uses his other hand to type messages on a blog that’s all about making fun of Amway assholes. He’s probably jerking off into other Amway products too. Talk about expensive! Buying shitty overpriced Amway products to masturbate on! For christs sakes guy go out and buy a copy of Playboy. Much cheaper. And not as creepy as using Amway products to jerk off on.


Thursday, December 11, 2014

Amway Will Have One Less Victim

Thanks to a reader for sharing they’re not getting scammed into the Amway cult. And before any fucking Amway assholes show up here and bitch that FED Free Enterprise Days ain’t going on right now, it was at the time this was written. So any Amway assholes want to show up here and bitch that FED ain’t happening right now can take their fucked up holier than thou Amway attitudes and shove it up their asses. This reader gives a very accurate description of what happens at every Amway function. No actual business advice is ever given. Why bother? Amway is a pretend business. Every Amway cult leader that speaks to the audience says exactly the same thing.


What an entertaining blog. It's a bit rough around the edges, but more informative than the FED I'm skipping right now. Yes, the FED is live right now and I'm outside listening to podcasts and reading some blogs. Maybe the readers would be interested in the opinion of a first-time attendee (and guest) at the "Function."

1. Disclaimer: I am not an IBO. And after coming to the FED I have no intention of ever spending a penny on any products or meetings or materials or conferences that this organization sells or endorses.

2. Nothing in the 3 days -not a single presentation- has been genuinely informative. There have been no business plans or spread sheets or money-management tips. No one has given the almost 4500 people any useful tips re. networking or brand management. The sum total of the entire conference is: To get this BLING you've got to keep trying and never give up. This would be acceptable from one or two speakers but it's the same message from ALL of them.

3. At the beginning of the "Function" there was a lot of patriotism - anthems and flags and salutes. This is called priming. It's bringing the audience to a state of mind that is enjoyable so that the other messages go through easily, without resistance. And this is all over the place: live pop music (with a truly talentless group) in stage; appeals to the sanctity of marriages and relationships ALL the time (a good tactic since many attendees are couples) before putting forward the exact message again.

4. The presentations by couples all follow the same routine. First the (usually pretty, usually blonde) wife speaks about how the business was challenging at the beginning and how it brought the couple together through adversity. Then the husband speaks about the adversities and tough times etc. It's a lot like bad reality TV. And, again, it's all the same as the other pretty couple. It's all the same and all of it is bad.
One pretty wife said that she climbed 9 steps to the stage, to make a point of the 9 steps of the principle (or something) but this attendee went to the other side of the auditorium and counted the steps - 7! :(

5. (Final point, though I could go on) The best thing about the "Function" is those who have come to watch. And to learn. There are scores of attendees who are clearly honest, ambitious, committed, and kind. There are many who scribble away into notepads and others who could definitely do great things - it's clear that they want to make something of themselves. And this is the worst part of it all. That so many people are bound for failure - in any pyramid there's only room for one person at the top. To anyone reading this who has had enough of "the business" I applaud you. You tried to make something of yourself. Next time, do your due diligence. I wish you way more than luck.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Amway Ambots Obsessed With Doom & Gloom

The thing I’ve noticed about Amway ambots is that they are the most negative people around. At every Amway meeting I attended our Platinum would moan and bitch about all the bad things happening in the world.

Seeing as how I didn’t like that lying sack of shit anyway and wrote off everything he said as a lie, I saw it was all a ploy to brainwash ambots into thinking that their only salvation from all the doom and gloom in the world is signing up to be a commissioned salesperson with Amway.

Our country is still recovering from events that happened around 2008. Recession, house values sinking, job loss, and all the other lovely things the Platinum focused on at Amway meetings for the first hour or so. All the bad things going on. He’d talk about how people were at high levels of debt. He’d brag about being debt free but I knew he was lying. He’d recently bought a home and there is no way in hell that he paid cash for it. Like everyone else he and his wife saved up for a down payment, applied for a mortgage, and moved in. I’m sure he’s the type of person who has a line of credit on his house. He’d need that credit line to pay off all the credit card bills that accumulate thanks to the Amway business and for faking it to everyone he knows about how good business is going and he drives a nice car, and blah, blah, blah. All of us who own houses and cars and have kids know all about unexpected expenses.

Do I know for sure that our former Platinum has a line of credit against the equity on his house? Nope. None of my goddamned business. I’m different from Amway assholes that way. When stuff is none of my business I don’t ask about. But I say its a good guess there’s a line of credit on the equity because our Emerald tried to convince Ambot to do that so he could pay off his credit card debt he ran up thanks to Amway and then when his credit card was down to zero balance there’d be more room to keep buying Amway products and tools so it stands to reason that fucker is counselling other Amway assholes like our sack of shit Platinum to do that too. Our Platinum told us he was debt free and had paid off his credit card debt and whatever other debts he had thanks to Amway. I don’t think it was thanks to Amway at all other than someone involved in Amway told him to take out the equity line of credit on his house and use it to pay off debt.

Still he bitches about the economy, bitches about the nation’s debt load, bitches about businesses closing down, bitches about house prices sinking, bitches about people losing jobs, bitches about bankruptcy, bitches about foreclosures, etc etc ironically not mentioning the names of Amway Diamonds involved in these proceedings. Shit! Bitch bitch bitch! Those fucking lying scamming Amway assholes fill their lives bitching about everything! Nothing like combining an already depressing Amway meeting with all the depressing stuff that’s going on in the world. Like Amway talk isn’t depressing all on its own without bringing in outside forces! Amway meetings are nothing but doom and gloom! And all those things that the sack of shit Platinum bitches about? Stay in Amway long enough and they’ll all happen to you too! Well, hard to say about the house price shrinking but losing jobs, bankruptcy, foreclosure that’s all part of being an ambot if you’re an Amway lifer.

Then the lying sack of shit tells everyone in the room that because they’re in Amway they won’t have to worry about any of the problems plaguing the rest of the world. They’ll be able to pay cash for their houses and everything else they want. And they’ll be able to do this how? Because they’re loading up their credit cards with more debt buying Amway products?

This is what happens when you take financial advise from an unqualified financial advisor. This is what happens when you “counsel” with greedy assholes in the Amway upline who are only looking out for themselves and how they can make money off you. I didn’t believe any of that bullshit about how they’re helping us and helping others. Helping themselves get rich and causing misery in other people’s lives is more like it.

Go to an Amway meeting and hear about all the bad things happening in the world plus the cult leader’s exaggerated spin on world events.

Remember Y2K? Remember all those doomsday cults saying the world is ending? Remember the Mayan calendar and the end of the world in 2012?

This is the doom and gloom stuff that Amway ambots live for! We should all be dead by now.

Doom and gloom. That’s the life of a Scamway ambot!


Monday, December 8, 2014

Evil Crows = Evil Amway Ambots

No matter what stage in a person’s life they’re at they either are living a decent life or they’re working towards it. The things most people have or want out of life or not really over the top. They might like a good paying career. They might want to get married. They’d like to live in a decent house in a safe neighborhood. They want to drive a nice car that’s not breaking down all the time. They’d like to take nice vacations. They’d like to be debt free. They’d like to have decent savings for retirement. A lot of people have already worked hard to get these things and others are still working towards some of these goals. They’re not unrealistic things to achieve for many people. It’s a nice safe life when you own a home, a car, and have savings.

Then an Amway ambot comes around to fuck up your life. They scam you into signing up with their pyramid scheme. You have to invest $500 and up every month buying at least 100PV of shitty overpriced Amway products and other purchases related to the Amway tool scam. This means going into credit card debt or wiping out your savings account. Joining the Amway cult even for a few months can set a person back financially for years.

Amway cult leaders preach the gospel of greed. Why settle for a house when you can have a 10 million dollar mansion. Why settle for a nice car when you can have a fleet of Bentley’s, Ferraris, and Lamborginis. Why settle for a nice vacation when you can go to Peter Island and live in a super Amway asshole sized deluxe suite. Why have retirement savings when you can have bazillions of dollars in residual income rolling in every month from Amway.

Leave your safe lifestyle behind and enter into the Amway hell hole guided by Amway cult leaders and their goal of greedy materialistic possessions, hellbent on destroying anyone in a safe place.

There are too many stories around the Internet of people who’ve lost tens of thousands of dollars to the Amway scam. Debt. Bankruptcy. Foreclosure. Divorce. So much for that nice, safe lifestyle these people were living until the evil Amway ambots got hold of them.

Its kind of like this scene from the Hitchcock movie The Birds. The kids are safe inside their school. The evil crows are outside. The plan seems simple enough. Stay inside and don’t get attacked by the birds. But what do the teachers do? They say let’s make a run for it. Dumb fucks!

That’s like Amway ambots – dumb fucks!

The students trust their teachers. Teachers who pretend to be all knowing and have their best interests at heart. Teachers who convince the kids to leave their safe place behind only to get attacked by crows.

Like being in Amway. The assholes in the Amway upline brainwash their followers to trust them and not outsiders and brainwash the cult followers they have their best interests at heart. To blindly follow the upline and do whatever they say. People leave their safe place behind to get attacked by Amway ambots hell bent on destroying their lives.
Watch this scene and substitute the evil crows for evil Amway ambots.

Takeaway? If someone from Amway harasses you, run and scream!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Amway Ambots And Their Warped Sense Of Success

When an Ambot signs up to the Amway cult they’re told they are now an IBO: Independent Business Owner. To a mind that is fucked up by Amway cult members, being a business owner is a sign of success.

And where else can you become a “successful business owner” for a couple hundred bucks.

That’s a question that doesn’t need an answer. There are lots of people who’ve started up real legitimate businesses on a shoestring budget.

We’re talking about Amway assholes here and their pretend businesses, not real business owners.

Amway ambots disappear to focus on their “business” which means they’re dealing with phone calls and texts from the fucking assholes in their Amway upline, spending hours on Amway’s website buying overpriced shitty products whenever they’ve got some space on their credit card, or phoning friends and family to buy the above mentioned shitty products, or stalking prospects to come to Scamway meetings. Thats what it takes to become a successful business owner to an Amway ambot with their warped sense of success.

Their “own” Amway “business” with the promise of money, gives the ambot a sense of success, a fakers dream come true, pretending to act like a big and important and rich business owner is always most important.

The Amway ambot has to validate himself himself, not his wife, not his family, today and every day. The woman the ambot vowed to love and honor and cherish would be little more than insignificant compared to the fucking assholes in his Amway upline that he now has to love, honor, and cherish more than anything else in his life. Nothing is more important than worshipping the Great Amway God and pledging love and devotion to defending the Amway name and bragging about how Amway’s high prices mean they’re products are high quality – to a fucked up brainwashed Amway bastard that is.

Amspeak. Must spout that bullshit all the time to be a successful business owner, that is if you're an Amway ambot with a warped sense of success. 

That’s a fucked up Amway Ambot’s version of success.

No thanks. Not for most people.