Amway Ambot Head Up Ass HUA HUA HUA Part 2

One time we ran the Amway Ambot Chuckle post one of our readers kept going with it! Excellent dialogue! LOL!

 

Prospect: If I sign up in Amway, why do I need an obsolete and useless system called CommuniKate?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You need a secretary, don't you? You need an answering service, don't you? You need somebody to give you important messages, don't you? HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: But those things are handled by real living persons or simple voicemail. CommuniKate isn't a real person at all -- it's just an obsolete way to get messages.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You gotta fake it till you make it. People will think that you have a girl named Kate who is your secretary. HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: Why must I attend expensive and far-off functions that don't teach me anything, and are just elaborate pep-talks?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You never know what little piece of important info you might happen to hear at a function. You wouldn't want to miss out on that, would you? HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: Why can't you people just include the important info on the endless tools that you want to sell me?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. There's endless information to be learned in Amway. It'll take years and years for you to master it. That's why you gotta come to all functions, and buy all tools. HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: I don't want to be forced to attend a religious service if I go to an Amway function.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. What are you, some kind of unChristian dream-stealer? HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: No, I just prefer to make my own choices in religious matters.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. If you join Amway, you then have a new religion. It's THE GREAT AMWAY GOD! Your job involves worshipping this God day and night. HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: So you admit that you are part of a cult, and not an actual business.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. We have our ways of doing things, like everybody else. HUA HUA HUA.

 

Prospect: You mean like fucking people over by putting them into debt and foreclosure, wrecking their marriages and friendships, making them waste years in a worthless fake business, filling their garages and basements with cheap unsellable products, and then saying that their failure to succeed is totally their own fault?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA! HUA HUA HUA!

 

Amway Ambot Chuckle

Someone who left a comment on the blog reminded me of the Amway ambot chuckle.

We’ve all heard it. It’s the chuckle that people in Amway use when they think they’re dealing with a fucking moron. Those ambots need to be looking in the mirror.

The Amway ambot chuckle kind of sounds like they’re hacking up a hairball. It kind of goes like this.

HUA HUA HUA

HUA = Head Up Ass. A chronic Amway ambot syndrome.

HUA HUA HUA

Head up ass head up ass head up ass.

Ambots use it when they’re having a conversation with someone who’s not in Amway and they’re trying to overcome their objections to getting involved in the Amway scam or don’t want to buy overpriced shitty products.



Prospect: Does this have anything to do with Amway?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. No its World Wide Dream Builders. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: I was involved in Amway before and it didn’t work out.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. It didn’t work because you didn’t try hard enough. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: You’ve been in Amway 15 years and still aren’t a Diamond. What’s up with that?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s because I’m not trying hard enough. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: Amway costs $50 a year just to buy their overpriced products?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You can’t afford $50 a year to be in this exclusive shopping club? HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I spend $50 a year on my Costco membership and I buy well known products for less money.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Don’t you want to pay more money for quality? HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: No.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Loser! HUA HUA HUA.



Propsect: I heard Amway is a pyramid scheme.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Your job is a pyramid. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: (looking at an Amway catalogue) Holy shit. Look at these prices. I can go to the grocery store and buy a box of laundry soap for a third of that price.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Don’t you want to pay more money for quality. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I don’t want to pay more money for poor quality Amway products.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Loser! HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: (after trying a sip of XS energy drink and spitting it out) Holy fuck! That tastes like cat piss!

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. This is the best energy drink on the market. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: Fuck! If this is the best I sure as hell don’t want to try the worst! Pass me a coke.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Loser! HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: You told me Amway Artistry is one of the top 5 cosmetic companies in the world. I looked it up on the Internet and it ain’t.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. We’re #2 in the world for prestige cosmetics. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: What the fuck? Who the hell cares if their cosmetics are prestige or not?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. We’re #2. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: Next thing you’ll be telling me is that Amway sells prestige tampons and toilet paper.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s right. All Amway products are prestige. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: How many people do you have in your Amway downline.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Business is going great. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: This says I can make $115 a month working 10 to 15 hours a week in Amway. That’s like $2 to $3 an hour. Rip off!

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You can’t believe everything you read. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: I hear Amway is a cult.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Your job is a cult. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: Have you been to Barnes & Noble lately?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s the best place to talk to people about Amway. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: I already own my own business.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. It’s a worthless piece of shit business. The only business out there that’s any good is Amway. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: How come when a dog eats Amway dog food it shits 3 times more than it used to?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s because its eating prestige dog food. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: I heard people lose a lot of money in Amway.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You have to invest money back in your business. You have to spend money to make money. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: How much money do you make in Amway every month?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. None of your business. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: No seriously. You want me to join Amway I need to know if its worth my while. How much do you make in Amway every month?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s private. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: How much money does it cost every month to be in Amway?

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Guess you’ll have to sign up and find out for yourself. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: We have to pay for training in Amway? At my job the owner pays for the employees training.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Your job is a pyramid and you’re making your boss rich. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: I’m not interested in signing up with Amway.

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Then by the time you’re 65 you’ll either be dead or broke. HUA HUA HUA.



Prospect: Go to hell ambot!

Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. I’m already there. One of the joys of being in Amway! HUA HUA HUA.



Head up ass Head up ass Head up ass.

 

Look Out For Amway Ghouls On Halloween! Boo!

Its a dark and stormy night. The witching hour is nearing. Halloween! Soon there will be knocks at the door and yells of trick or treat! Demands of candy being forked over.

What could be the scariest demons appearing at our front door? Ambot ghouls demanding our money and our sanity! I've compiled a grouping of the scariest bastards I hope do not show up on our doorstep. Halloween. Amway demons looking for new cult followers.

Happy Halloween everyone!