What Exactly Is Amway?

One of our talented readers came up with a poem that perfectly describes Amway. It deserves its own post. Thank you for your contribution! Loving it!

Who else wants to see the Goads put this to music and sing it at the next Amway WWDB brainwashing conference?

 

WHAT EXACTLY IS AMWAY?

Amway seeks out brainless dopes
And fills them with imagined hopes.
They only sign up stupid folk,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Look at helpless IBOs
Paying money through the nose--
These losers are all going broke
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Amway works you like a slave
And sends you to an early grave.
You’ll sweat, you’ll starve, you’ll cough and choke,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

You’ll slowly rack up massive debt
For purchases you’ll soon regret.
The tension will give you a stroke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Go to functions, hear the crap
Spouting from some Diamond’s yap--
Those big-pin scum are blowing smoke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke,

You even have to take a class
On how to kiss your Platinum’s ass.
You’re shackled to your up-line’s yoke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

You’re hoping for a bonus check?
You think you’ll make a fortune? Heck--
Before you earn a dime, you’ll croak,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

What is left, when unpaid bills
Pile up in big paper hills?
Smoke some weed, or high-grade coke,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

 

 

 

 

101 Reasons To Hate Amway

A visitor showed up at this blog using the search criteria “reasons to hate Amway”. Nothing really extraordinary about that. We get many searchers who end up here with variations of the “I hate Amway” theme.

Seeing as how there’s already a post about 101Ways to Piss of an Amway IBO I thought I’d take it a little further and do 101 reasons to hate Amway. This is going to be too easy. All I have to do is look at their catalogue and list each product one by one. But that would probably end up being something like 2000 reasons to hate Amway but I’ll still put in the products that I personally hate.

So here goes. 101 Reasons to Hate Amway:

1. I hate throwing my money at the Amway scam.
2. I hate the horrible people we have to associate with in Amway.
3. I hate the overpriced substandard laundry soap that doesn’t get my clothes clean
4. I hate that every time I use Amway’s dishwasher detergent I still have to wash half the dishes again by hand.
5. I hate Amway’s dish soap because the bubbles don’t last long enough to clean for the second time around all the dishes that didn’t get clean in the dishwasher.
6. I hate that Amway allows cult leaders to brainwash IBO’s.
7. I hate that Amway does nothing to help IBO’s who are abused by their upline.
8. I hate that Amway customer service has a who-gives-a-fuck attitude when you phone in for assistance.
9. I hate that I have to read dumb ass books that don’t interest me because our Amway upline bullied Ambot into buying useless tools to “grow our business”.
10. I hate it when some fucking Amway IBO says “fired up”.
11. I hate attending Amway functions.
12. I hate that Amway makes us pretend we’re real business owners.
13. I hate pretending to be nice to people who don’t give a shit about me except for the money they can make off me.
14. I hate that Amway turns IBO’s into liars.
15. I hate overpriced Amway towels that fall apart.
16. I hate that Amway allows XS Gear to rip off IBOs by sending wrong products and then refusing to exchange or refund after bullshitting for 30 days and then saying their 30 day refund policy has passed.
17. I hate that everything about Amway is so secretive.
18. I hate that Amway makes us pretend to be interested in people we’re not.
19. I hate that Amway doesn’t encourage their cult leaders to hold meetings earlier in the day.
20. I hate that Amway is creepy.
21. I hate that Amway’s marketing literature doesn’t tell the full story when it comes to compensation that IBO’s can expect to receive.
22. I hate that Amway keeps it top secret which Diamonds are still active and which Diamonds fell out of qualification but are bullshitting their downline into believing they’re still Diamonds.
23. I hate that Amway doesn’t stop its cult leaders from lying that the corporation owns the Amway Arena when the city of Orlando is the owner.
24. I hate that Amway’s cult leaders tried to counsel us to take out a home owner equity line of credit.
25. I hate that Amway forces us to be what we’re not.
26. I hate that Amway makes us trick people.
27. I hate that Amway makes us lie about the company’s financial state. Made billions and billions of sales last year!
28. I hate that Amway makes us lie about how well we’re doing.
29. I hate that Amway makes us look at everyone as a potential recruit.
30. I hate that Amway makes unqualified people pretend to be “counsellors”.
31. I hate the side effects from Amway’s Double X vitamins.
32. I hate that Amway makes us manipulate everyone we meet.
33. I hate that Amway makes us worship money.
34. I hate that Amway makes us believe being wealthy means we’re better than everyone else.
35. I hate Amway XS Energy Drinks - aka cat piss water
36. I hate that Amway makes us treat upline like they’re royalty.
37. I hate that Amway takes advantage of people who can least afford to lose money.
38. I hate that Amway encourages us to make stupid choices.
39. I hate that Amway Glister toothpaste nearly makes me puke when I’m brushing my teeth.
40. I hate having to wear business attire for dumb ass late night Amway meetings.
41. I hate that Amway fills our heads with dreams.
42. I hate Amway CDs and tapes that we’re forced to buy and listen to.
43. I hate spending money on Amway meetings.
44. I hate that Amway uplines pretend they’re helping us and helping others.
45. I hate that Amway is the devil in disguise.
46. I hate listening to our Amway sack of shit Platinum.
47. I hate that Amway has us believing we’ll have residual income rolling in forever.
48. I hate how embarrassing it is to tell people we’re involved with Amway.
49. I hate having Amway assholes poking through my house to see if I have any “illegal” products.
50. I hate that there’s so much pressure to buy more and more Amway products.
51. I hate those nasty shitty Amway food bars.
52. I hate that Amway preys on people going through a difficult time in their lives.
53. I hate how fast we lose friends thanks to Amway.
54. I hate how we’re told that everyone will get rich in Amway.
55. I hate how Amway creates trouble in marriages when none previously existed.
56. I hate trying to find a parking spot at Amway meetings held in crowded neighborhoods.
57. I hate how Amway doesn’t disclose how much it costs to produce each product and how much profit they’re making.
58. I hate how Amway controls your life.
59. I hate trying to convince others to take home an Amway tape and listen to it.
60. I hate having to deny that we have anything to do with Amway.
61. I hate trying to beg people to go to Amway meetings.
62. I hate how Amway shampoo makes my hair oily.
63. I hate how because we’re in Amway we have to “ask permission” from our upline before we buy or do anything.
64. I hate how the upline forces us to buy Amway Nutrilite vitamins when we never used to take vitamins.
65. I hate how we spent hundreds of dollars on Amway Nutrilite vitamins that are sitting unopened on the shelf because nobody in the house will take them.
66. I hate how late at night we have to stay up for Amway meetings.
67. I hate how Amway makes everyone lie about their wealth.
68. I hate that I can’t buy lower priced, better quality products if Amway sells something similar.
69. I hate how Amway has us believing we’ll be millionaires in 2 to 5 years.
70. I hate wasting my time going to Amway meetings listening to lousy bastards.
71. I hate that Amway doesn’t make more of an effort to tell us that 99% of IBOs won’t make money.
72. I hate that when we’re in Amway we have to call everyone else “losers”.
73. I hate that we have to bullshit others to believe that Amway has a good rating with the BBB and approval of the FTC.
74. I hate how nobody loses weight on the Amway Trim diet system lose weight plan.
75. I hate trying to convince people that the reason Amway products are so high priced is because they’re high quality.
76. I hate that Amway makes us lie to others about their chance of succeeding.
77. I hate how we’re told that everything in Amway is tax deductible.
78. I hate that Amway makes unqualified people pretend to be financial advisors.
79. I hate how Amway makes us sell the hope not the soap.
80. I hate that Amway makes us poke fun at people who have jobs.
81. I hate how we have to convince everyone Amway is not a pyramid scheme.
82. I hate how we have to leave our children with babysitters because we’re too busy with Amway to spend any time with them.
83. I hate how Amway forces us to take advantage of people.
84. I hate that being in Amway means we have to alienate our friends and family.
85. I hate that no authority seems capable of shutting down the Amway pyramid scheme.
86. I hate Amway’s high shipping fees.
87. I hate in Amway that we must “submit to upline”.
88. I hate how Amway only sells cereals in multiple packs.
89. I hate that Amway makes us tell others we’re better than them because we’re in Amway and they’re not.
90. I hate how Amway charges an annual membership fee for the privilege of being ripped off by them.
91. I hate that we were lied to that we only have to spend 10 to 15 hours a week working on our Amway business.
92. I hate hearing the lies about how Amway’s Perfect Water is a miracle cure for everything that ails you.
93. I hate how Amway sucks the life out of us.
94. I hate going into credit card debt thanks to Amway.
95. I hate when Amway sends us expired food items and refuses to refund or replace them.
96. I hate how expensive Amway Artistry cosmetics cost.
97. I hate how Amway dog food caused our dogs to become shit machines.
98. I hate how Amway cleaning products come in these huge refill containers and we have to buy little spray pumps to put them in and then we don’t know what’s what.
99. I hate trying to convince people that Amway sells “prestige” toilet paper and that’s why it costs 4 times more than tp in the grocery store.
100. I hate that Amway doesn’t take some of its soap and clean up its act.
101. I hate that Amway is a cult.

OK I’ll stop now!

 

 

 

Amway’s Recruiting Tactics Similar To Cults

The first time we were in Amway we became clients of one of the people in our group who was a professional in her industry or so she claimed.

The goat incident questions her professionalism.

Mutual Amway friends lived on a small farm probably under 2 acres. They had bought a goat off this lady because she raised and sold them as a hobby and they had weeds and brambles around the fences and the idea was the goat was going to keep that part of the yard neatly trimmed. She threw in a second goat for them to keep the one they bought company. When our friends sold their house and downsized they gave her back the two goats.

Now it gets weird. She starts phoning me and Ambot to see if we’d take the two goats. Back then we owned a small house with a tiny backyard. Where the hell are we going to keep goats? Our spare bedroom? She wouldn’t leave us alone about those fucking goats. I don’t even like goats! I didn’t interact with these two goats when our mutual friend owned them and I sure as hell didn’t want them. One day I was there and watched one of the goats jump our friend, wrap his hooves around him and try to mount him. He was a big guy and able to fight off the beast. Maybe he should have got them neutered to reduce their sexual desire? These are just not the kind of animals that I would ever have any interest in owning even if I had room for them.

Over a period of two or three years she kept calling to badger me about the goats. I had no idea how difficult it was to give away 2 goats but apparently there’s not much interest in our part of the world. Makes me wonder how well she’s doing on goat sales if she can’t even give them away. She pissed me off so much about the fucking goats that I took my business elsewhere. I mentioned it to an acquaintance who is in the same profession. He said that is a violation of the code of ethics in the industry. She can’t be after her clients to sell or give away goats. He gave me the contact information of the regulating agency where I could file a complaint about her but I never did.

So why all this talk about goats when you’re expecting to hear about Amway’s recruitment tactics being similar to those of cults? I mean just get to the point Anna! Or are you doing the old Amway bait and switch trickery scam? Ha ha!

I’m getting there! This post really only serves to give a link to an interesting article called Amway’s Recruitment Tactics Similar to Those of Cults.

http://baskeptics.org/node/amways-recruitment-tactics-similar-to-those-of-cults/

This article starts out about how a psychologist lost his license to practice after convincing clients to sign up in his Amway business.

That’s what made me remember the goats! Maybe I should have reported her and she’d have lost her license too even though she has nothing to do with the medical field, a different profession that is regulated. Oh shit I hope I’m not turning out like our former Platinum who would get sidetracked forever and rant about shit not even related to anything Amway.

I’m sure people losing their license to practice or getting fired from their jobs because of Amway is far more reaching than the one mentioned in this article. Most of the professions that Amway IBO’s would love to sign up in their downline have codes of ethic they have to follow and its likely some kind of breach to sign up their clients to an MLM using their position of authority as a stamp of approval.

Just like the woman trying to push her fucking goats on us!

Is it just my weird beliefs that goats and other farm animals don’t belong in a city house’s backyard? Shouldn’t you be contacting Farmer John if you have livestock to unload? Wouldn’t neighbors complain? I remember reading that George Clooney had a pig for many years and I think back when he just had a regular house. I don’t think I’d be too happy with a neighbor who has a pig running around their yard. Unless of course it was George Clooney! If he lived next door with his pig I’d be happier than a pig in shit! No complaints here!

The author of the article got tricked into going to an Amway meeting and was subjected to their cult tactics and he took notes. He was driven there by an ambot so he was basically stuck there trapped in a strange house in another town until his potential recruiter was ready to leave. I loved the part in the article where he describes how the street was packed with cars. He didn’t mention whether or not it was the clunker brigade! He writes about the charismatic likeable speaker who made fun of people who had jobs and who eventually got around to asking people in the room what their dreams are. And on and on it goes.

He described every Amway meeting I’ve attended!

Amway’s cult recruiting tactics have not changed over the years. This author breaks down the techniques so we can better understand why people do what they do when they’re under pressure in an Amway meeting.

ExAmbot Remembers FED Amway Free Enterprise Days

Thanks to ExAmbot who shares his memories of Amway FED Free Enterprise Days.

HA HA i remember all this stuff. Let me confirm that for the "serious business builder" you not only arrived there early (say 4 - 6 am) you actually found some ambots who beat you there, how? they slept on the line after last night's function! and BTW they have paid for an expensive hotel room!

Woe unto a new ambot. FED was put on with much grandeur and pomposity (as you would say). the diamonds on stage would keep promoting saturday night, it will be a life changing event (that's when new diamonds are paraded on stage). how it will be a mirror of where ambots will be in 5 years. on the floor before, during and after the friday show the lying to the new ambots continue. they would be told things like "this is your first function, waoh i envy you! i had to wait for close to a year before i could come to an FED! you are in for quite a treat! and for "older" ambots whose FED is their first function they would be told FED does not compare to any other function they have been to before that. don't forget all this promotion usually starts as soon as the last major function ends. so a poor ambot would have been hearing about the function for so long it's been worked into their brain real good (cultic brainwashing of course).

Every day had it's way of being promoted. saturday morning was the preparation for the night event, etc. and then saturday night. you are told to imagine yourself on that stage in 2-5 years. oh la di da! and you will never worry about money in your life ever again, what with all the residual income coming your way.

The funniest part now looking back was when there was no new diamonds as it happened a couple of times with BWW. but leave it to cult leaders to use words on ambots and still put on a cultic show!

Anywho sunday morning almost everyone was all pious and attends the service. it's sold as i came to a business meeting but my life changed and i found christ, my marriage was saved, it's a business but it's even more than that, it's a way of life (now looking back isnt that cult admission?), etc etc.

Then there's still the afternoon session. this is where now everything will be tied together, amongst other crap. in reality this is the first time anything is taught about building the business - last day, last session. Prior to this the focus is emotional. in fact from stage on friday and saturday, they talk about having an emotional reason to build it. that the technics are important but not as the reason to build it and that it takes a short time to cover the technics and that's done on sunday but ambots first need to focus on their emotional reason. cult leaders talk about saturday night is when they "saw it and the business went from head to heart." it was it sounds noble and all innocent. but it's classic cult preying on emotion! once they got an ambot emotionally they got one don't they.

The back drop of all this is that somebody has raked in big bucks. a diamond collects $60 for every ticket sold in his/her pyramid, as well as from the hotel rooms. to me that's what FED and any other function is all about. a way to continue provide income to diamonds by hooking in new ambots and and getting the rest to continue staying in for as long as is possible.