Thursday, June 30, 2022

Ambot Dick Drives To Amway WWDB Family Reunion

(Thanks Dick for sharing your story!)

I remember one year we were driving down to a major function.

It was myself, my wife, another couple in our downline, and a single guy in our downline (all friends of ours before the amway scam and still friends till this very day). We had recently replaced my wife’s car with a brand new van. One of those Ford Wind-star or Something-Star. Can’t remember the exact model name, but it was super luxo, comfy, cushiony, roomy... Just perfect for a road trip. So I suggested we all go down together. We were friends as I mentioned so it wouldn’t be like driving for hours with a bunch of people that made us uncomfortable. Basically, we could all be ourselves and enjoy the ride, stop and eat, take in some sights etc. The wives insisted we have some fun cause they never were into the whole amway scam-- they were just being good wives and playing along.

So. It’s a HOT summer day--Hotter than most. We live in Canada and are driving to the US. So like any NORMAL human being would do on a day like that-- we were all wearing shorts, tank-tops, sandals... You know-- beach attire. The a/c was blasting, the van was cold, and we were all super comfy.

We pull up to the Canada/US border and what do we see??? Ambots everywhere!!!! Hahahahaha.

Now one of the reasons I love to read your blog so much is because I can just visualize some of the stuff you describe and I’m really into the details. I remember reading your post about the clunker brigade lol. I don’t think the border guards had ever seen a bigger collection of oil leaking, black smoke spewing, clikering clackering, rusted 17 year old Corollas and Civics at one time... EVER.

So we look over to one particular sub-sub-compact shitbox that looks like this -------- and we see 5, count em-- FIVE ambots, all suited up with their fine Italian suits from Walmart (lololol). Wearing their full gear, ties bound all the way to the top, strangling them. Now keep in mind it’s 32 degrees Celsius (89 degrees Fahrenheit) and probably closer to 120f with the humidity factored in. And judging from the amount of sweat, (I’d say perspiration but believe me-- this was SWEAT), on their faces and on their suits, the a/c in their fine automobile was NOT working.

Because of all these serious business people all crossing the border at the same approx time-- we were at a near stand still. We didn’t mind much cause it would give us a chance to stretch our legs as we slowly crept up to the border guard booth.

So.... Out of our icy cold van comes the unmarried guy in my downline (we’ll call him Bill). Bill, like most of my downline and myself-- was into the biz as a biz (till we figured out it was impossible to make money) but couldn’t really deal with the stuffiness of the ambots. And this particular guy was a little ruff around the edges but a good person none the less. So picture this....

Bill just woke up, he gets out, scratches his head, yawns in a real annoying way-- kinda loudly and rudely, looks over at that car which was parallel to us, realizes they’re a bunch of ambots, looks at them... looks again, looks closer, and yells -- “what-da fuck is wrong wit ya ga-eeezzz?!?!?!?!.... It’s fucking boilin!!!!” Imagine the sheer horror in the ambots’ eyes. They looked over completely shocked, saw Bill in his shorts scratching himself, and quickly looked forward, in fear.

My married guy friend and I, under the full protection of the new van’s dark, factory-tinted windows, were both laughing so hard that I had to hold my private parts for fear of peeing on myself. I didn’t recognize any of the ambots in that particular car but still-- I was sure that eventually, we’d show up at some local event driving that particular van and we’d run into them, and someone would recognize that it had been us that day... but I just didn’t care-- I couldn’t stop laughing.

It was 150 degrees for sure with the five of them in that car, and you know how polyester goes with humidity... Hahahaha. They were baking in there for sure, but they probably attributed it to the fact that they were so-- fired up, fired up!!!! Yuk!!

I asked the girls how the hell someone could dress that way on a day like that and cram into a car and drive for hours.

My wife’s opinion....
These stupid bastards are driving down there in those clothes cause they haven’t brought any other clothes with them. They have no intention of paying for a hotel. Whenever there is down time (1:00am to 8:00am) they’re gonna hang around a 24 hour Starbucks just waiting for the the function to begin. Hey-- why pay for lodging when you could stand around all night as to not wrinkle your suit!!
She was probably right.


Wednesday, June 29, 2022

What Happens When You Don’t Pay Amway?

We have a lot of fun with search criteria that people use to show up at the marriedtoanambot blog.

One of the searchers wants to know “what happens when you don’t pay Amway”

First off not paying Amway is a very good thing because that means you aren’t getting scammed out of your money buying substandard products for a premium price.

Amway is only your friend as long as you shop in their store.

No shop. No friends no more!

I would say the answer is as simple as any online retailer you shop from. Don’t pay them and they won’t send you the goods you put in your shopping cart.

Also the same as the annual membership fee Amway charges you for the “privilege” gag gag of shopping in their store. Don’t pay your annual fee you don’t get to shop there. And some fat cat at Amway has a little less money in their bank account.

Costco is the same way. Don’t pay your annual membership fee and the bouncer standing at the door at Costco won’t let you in.

I would say its a very good thing when you don’t pay Amway. That means you quit doing business with them and you’re not getting ripped off anymore.

I encourage everyone not to pay Amway!



Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Amway Quacks

When an IBO signs up to be a commissioned sales rep with Amway that also means they now become a professional expert on everything.

Yes everything. Fuck those college degrees. You can become an expert by paying a couple of hundred a year to become a card carrying Amway asshole. That’s only the membership fee. Doesn’t include the thousands of dollars you have to spend to keep the Amway upline happy.

What’s really scary are Amway ambots dispensing medical advice. Their “patients” suffer from various illnesses and because the ambot is in Amway that means they are now a medical professional and can treat and cure these diseases.

Its really scary the comments that have been left here and questions asked. Amway ambots are telling people with terminal illnesses that Amway products will cure what ails them and patients are searching the Internet to check out the claims made by these Amway quacks.

25 years ago Ambot and I took one of those weekend first aid courses so that meant we were the most medically trained professionals in our line of sponsorship. That plus the fact we’ve watched on TV just about every medical drama out there. Every ambot in our group would phone for medical advice. For christsake! – see a real doctor. And sometimes they did but they would still come to us for a second opinion because we were better qualified than highly trained doctors because we were in Amway.

My long ago first aid training consists of learning to do the Heimlich maneuver, CPR, and put on bandages. Don’t come to me for medical advice. If you got a splinter in your finger I can probably help you. If you’re dying of cancer I’m not going to suggest you take Amway snake oil for your miracle cure. But that’s because I’ve got morals and I’m no liar and I’m not trying to fuck a buck out of you by scamming you. An Amway quack standing at the gateway to hell will lie just to get your money for the phony medical advice they give.

Amway ambots have no morals. They’re only out to make a buck so these Amway quacks have no problem dispensing bad medical advice while pretending they have a medical degree from Amway university.

Amway ambots are quick to insult doctors who actually went to medical school and got degrees. What a waste of money when its so much cheaper to become an Amway quack.

Amway quacks also use some bullshit line about would you ask your friend for advice on surgery instead of a real surgeon. Ambots don’t even see surgeons and instead they do ask their Amway quack friends for surgery and medical advice. Ambots seek medical advice from Amway quacks instead of qualified doctors who graduated from medical school with a degree.

Amway ambots are know it alls. Today they might be an Amway quack dispensing medical advice and tomorrow they might be an ambulance chaser giving legal advice.

“Paging Dr. Quack. Paging Dr. Quack. Amway is calling.”


Monday, June 27, 2022

Trade Show At Amway WWDB Family Reunion

When we arrived at the hotel we stayed at during Amway WWDB Family Reunion we barely checked in and put our bags in the room when Ambot wanted to haul ass over to the convention arena because something was going on - meaning Amway products would be out on display. For lack of anything else to describe it I’d call it a trade show but that is using the term very loosely.

Now I’ve been to real trade shows. They usually revolve around a theme: boats, home & gardening, RV’s, etc. Trade shows are usually held in fairgrounds because there are usually exhibition halls or arenas, etc that can be converted into trade shows and plenty of parking. There are usually a couple of hundred exhibitors, maybe more depending on the venue. Usually the people who rent booths at these events either provide products or services roughly related to the theme of the trade show. However there are always the usual suspects who show up at these events even though what they’re selling has nothing to do with the theme. There will probably be booths selling nuts or fudge or cotton candy, probably some realtors have booths, maybe some tourism bureaus from other towns, and usually some MLM’s like Mary Kay will be flogging their wares. I have never seen Amway represented at any trade show. Whew!

OK so we bust our asses getting to the arena so we can partake of the world’s most awesome LOL Amway trade show. Its a not to be missed extravaganza for serious business builders.

Ha ha! This was the shittiest, sorriest excuse for a trade show I’ve ever seen in my life. Well what else do you expect from Amway? There were only a few booths, maybe 10. One of them had Perfect Water dispensed in dixie cups. Artistry was there and they had little sample packs of face cream. You know the use it once kind. Someone from XS Gear was there with their products. This is where Ambot ran into trouble with getting ripped off by XS Gear. He got the guy’s business card and decided to be their best customer but it didn’t work out so well.

I don’t remember what else was there. I know it took less than 20 minutes to see everything. Pretty shitty. Surprisingly enough there weren’t the hoards of brainwashed ambots you’d expect to see here. There were maybe a hundred people and that includes IBO’s and the exhibitors standing behind the tables. Of course due to the shitty exhibits it only took minutes to see it all so its very possible IBO’s were trailing in and out over the 2 or 3 hours it was open. So there could have been another couple of hundred IBO’s viewing the trade show before and after we got there.

There was the Amway registration desk and we could pick up our “kit” - as I recall a ticket on a string that we hung around our necks. There was also early bird parking passes for the weekend for sale. A real screaming deal at $20. Only available to the poor suckers who showed up at the trade show. And yes Ambot bought one.

Shitty trade show aside going inside that arena brings back another memory.

Prior to our departure I’d been looking around to buy a cappuccino machine with all the bells and whistles and I brought an extra $200 cash with me because I thought I might find one on sale this weekend. I’d seen an ad at JC Penney with a one day Saturday sale and even though we’d be out of town I thought I could still find one while attending Family Reunion. The problem is big mouth Ambot blabs to everyone and anyone that we had extra money with us. Asshole Eagle was at the trade show plus a few other losers in his downline. Like its any of their fucking business how much money we happen to have on hand! I was pissed off at Ambot because these kids in their 20’s probably didn’t even bring enough money to buy meals and would likely hit us up for a loan that they wouldn’t repay.

Apparently one of the people in Asshole Eagle’s downline claimed he bought his Family Reunion ticket online at the last minute. Except when he checked in at the registration desk they had no record of it. So there he was stuck at Family Reunion with no cash, a maxed out credit card, and no ticket. Because Ambot had conveniently blabbed about the extra cash Asshole Eagle asked him to buy the Family Reunion ticket for his downline and he’d get his money back once they got it all straightened out. Because Ambot has been brainwashed to “submit to upline” even though the fucking asshole is about 20 years younger than him he willing to fork over the cash. The problem is the cashola is in my purse so now he has to beg me for the money. I am pissed. I have the cash earmarked for the cappuccino machine. Their problems aren’t my problems. But because I am such a kindhearted soul I finally agree the fucking Amway bastard can borrow the money.

Ended up buying a $30 Mr Coffee machine instead. Brought it into action a few times when we tried to trick people into coming over for coffee klatches when it was really an Amway event in disguise. Nobody every showed up anyway. What? Nobody likes lattes?



Thursday, June 23, 2022

Where’s The Fucking Amway WWDB Family Reunion Hotel?

I remember driving around trying to find the hotel we were staying at during Amway WWDB Family Reunion. We’d made a couple of wrong turns and then spotted the hotel - barely. It was a Howard Johnson’s that was changing its name to something else - I don’t recall what name it became. Or maybe that’s vice versa. Perhaps whatever hotel name was becoming an HJ’s. I remember seeing a tiny sign for the hotel I was looking for and I thought the address was right and pulled into the parking lot.

It was just after 6pm. I was stressed out because of the wrong turns and unable to find the hotel - likely due to lack of signage because of the name change underway. So I was  frazzled as I pulled in.

And then Ambot’s fucking cell phone rings! Shit! Scared the hell out of me! I damn near drove the car into the hotel’s swimming pool!

And who would it be? Could it be the same fucking son of a bitch who has plagued us with about 20 calls in the past 4 hours? You guessed it! His shithead sponsor - Captain Fuck Up!

Oh, I’m mad. I get out of the car with the email confirmation and stomp inside to find out if I’m in the right hotel and if not can the desk clerk tell me how to get to where I want to go. Fortunately I’d found the right hotel and he explained about the hotel being sold and the name change confusion.

Just as I’m finished registering Ambot walks in and asks if we’ve found the right place. Jesus I would have gone back to the car by now if it wasn’t!

As we’re driving around the hotel lot to get a parking spot near our room he asks what my problem is. I tell him my nerves are frazzled and that fucking phone call put me over the edge and what does that bastard want anyway. Has he not got it through his head that we don’t have his fucking money and don’t know where it is?

If you read a previous blog you’d know that Captain Fuck Up lost his money and was stuck at home and didn’t make it to the World Wide Dream Builders Family Reunion.

Hours ago I’d had enough of listening to Ambot’s side of the phone conversation. I didn’t want to hear nothing more about that fucking lost money!

Ooooh I am still getting pissed off at that fucking idiot!

The hotel we stayed at gave me another reason to despise that arrogant prick. They allowed dogs! A fact I did not know until we arrived and saw the “pet friendly” sign.

Because the original plans were to have Captain Fuck Up and his long suffering wife join us for the drive to Family Reunion that meant they would be taking up space in the back seat, we had to put our dog in the kennel. Being high season summertime the kennel required a deposit at time of booking (I think $50) just in case we cancelled or no showed so they had our credit card number. So when Captain Fuck Up announced at 9am they couldn’t leave until the afternoon it was already too late to cancel the kennel. 4 days kennel plus 3 walks a day plus early check in was well over $100 when we picked up our dog on Monday. And yes, charged one day for every day or portion thereof - Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. They were closed by the time we arrived home on Sunday night. As opposed to the dog staying free at the hotel.

Yep, just keep giving me more reasons to despise that fucking asshole!

Like we need any more proof that it is a very BAD idea to sponsor anyone into Amway if their wife has a long history of disliking the sponsor. Dragging them into Amway and the wife will add up every cent that fucking asshole sponsor cost them. I don’t have it broken down piece by piece but I put in Excel that WWDB Family Reunion tickets cost $485. Gas, hotel, food, and dog kennel total $850.

Any IBO’s out there reading this: if your friend’s wife doesn’t like you - don’t sponsor them into Amway! It only gets worse. Never better. She will end up despising you even more than she did before because now you have brought them financial and emotional distress. Leave them alone or you might find yourself featured in her blog one day too!

 And let’s just send out another big old FUCK YOU to Amway and all those fucking Ambot losers who actually like going to these fucking Amway brainwashing conferences.


Wednesday, June 22, 2022

What Exactly Is Amway

One of our talented readers came up with a poem that perfectly describes Amway. It deserves its own post. Thank you for your contribution!

Who else wants to see the Goads put this to music and sing it at the next Amway WWDB brainwashing conference?



Amway seeks out brainless dopes
And fills them with imagined hopes.
They only sign up stupid folk,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Look at helpless IBOs
Paying money through the nose--
These losers are all going broke
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Amway works you like a slave
And sends you to an early grave.
You’ll sweat, you’ll starve, you’ll cough and choke,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

You’ll slowly rack up massive debt
For purchases you’ll soon regret.
The tension will give you a stroke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Go to functions, hear the crap
Spouting from some Diamond’s yap--
Those big-pin scum are blowing smoke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke,

You even have to take a class
On how to kiss your Platinum’s ass.
You’re shackled to your up-line’s yoke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

You’re hoping for a bonus check?
You think you’ll make a fortune? Heck--
Before you earn a dime, you’ll croak,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

What is left, when unpaid bills
Pile up in big paper hills?
Smoke some weed, or high-grade coke,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.


Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Helpful Tip: Do Not Buy XS Energy Drink Gear

Ambot was so hyped with everything Amway that he went to the XS Gear website undoubtedly encouraged by his upline and purchased some items. Ambot never drank energy drinks prior to getting involved in Amway but during the Amway dark ages he purchased boxes of XS energy drinks weekly and consumed them with frighteningly urgency. It was only natural he would want to promote the product that his upline convinced him was going to pave his path to riches.

He purchased what could best be described as a nylon webbed cycling outfit - shirt and shorts. He also purchased an XS cooler to store all his XS energy drinks and carry them dutifully to all Amway meetings.

The problem with the shirt and shorts was that they arrived in a smaller size than Ambot ordered and they charged his credit card so they had his money. Thus began many phone calls back and forth between Ambot and XS Gear. After dicking Ambot around for several weeks XS Gear finally admits they don’t have his size and won’t be getting any more because its a discontinued product. After all IBO’s are so busy attending meetings and functions, dealing with multiple phone calls and texts from upline, showing the plan, and all the other time-consuming bullshit that goes on inside “the business” who’s got time to ride a bike.

Ambot tried to return the clothes but XS Gear refused to take them back. Remember they strung him along with telephone tag for a long time and checking the stockroom for other sizes? They have a refund policy only if the items are returned within 30 days. The time frame had expired.

Let’s see. Whose fault was it for charging the credit card and then shipping the wrong size?

Their suggestion to Ambot? “Keep taking the product and one day you’ll fit into the clothes.”

What a bunch of fucking idiots especially since they sent the wrong size in the first place instead of coming clean from the start and admitting to Ambot they were unable to fill the order. No wonder Amway partners with them. Always good to have a partner store on hand that shares similar philosophies in fucking over IBO’s.

I’m not sure what happened to those clothes. I haven’t seen them. Its possible Ambot chucked them out or put them in with other clothes we donate to charity. Maybe they’re stuck in the back of the closet and I’ll run into them again one day. He never wore them.

As for the XS cooler? We didn’t really need another cooler. We have 2 or 3 already. Ambot probably only bought it for bragging rights to impress his upline and crossline about how devoted he is. Ambot loaned it to one of the fucking assholes in his Amway upline and they stole it. Never to grace our house again thank God!

That’s one of the best things about ending our Amway business - no longer dealing with lowlife lying, greed-consumed Amway IBO thieves.