How To Listen To Amway Tapes

OK. Who would do a search titled “how to listen to Amway tapes”?

Umm. You put the tape into a cassette player, push the play button, and listen to it?

Years ago I worked for a company that was located in a 5 story building. A couple of other companies had offices in the building. I was down on the main floor bringing something to the receptionist and probably chatting for a few minutes. A couple walked across the lobby and got into the elevator. The man - in his 20’s - held the door open, poked his head out, and called over:

“Which button do I press for the third floor?”

“Three?” The receptionist suggests in the tone she uses when dealing with idiots.

The elevator door closes and we break down laughing.

OK well maybe you had to be there....

Perhaps this poor lost IBO has already asked his upline that question and didn’t get a satisfactory answer so he now takes to the Internet in his quest to find that information and ends up at my post about Amway CD’s and tapes.

“How to listen to Amway tapes?”

Hmm, maybe you should be drunk first? Turn the volume way down so you don't piss off anyone else within earshot. Do whatever it takes not to get brainwashed by that shit. A better plan would be to burn them.

I wonder if IBOFB is reading this post. He’ll be shitting his pants demanding who has got their hands on Amway tapes because he claims they went out with the last century.

 

 

 

How To Quit Amway

A searcher ended up on this blog looking for information on how to quit Amway.

I think that’s a sad state of being brainwashed by the Amway cult that someone has to seek out information on the Internet on how to quit Amway.

The logical response that comes to my mind, in no particular order:

1. stop attending Amway meetings
2. stop listening to CD’s
3. stop buying Amway products
4. don’t renew your membership at year end
5. ignore phone calls and texts from the Amway upline

To sum it up - Don’t have nothing to do with those Amway bastards anymore. Nothing means NOTHING!

Seeing as how the Platinum or Diamonds used to refer to Amway as a shopping mall on the Internet - stop shopping there. Simple. Its no different than if you get pissed off at Safeway for some reason - you don’t go back. You quit shopping there.

Its an easy thing for me to say who had no interest in Amway, didn’t want to buy their shitty overpriced products, disliked our sponsor and ultimately disliked everyone upline.

Someone like me is going to have no problem quitting these bastards.

As hard as I find it to comprehend, I recognize that there are actually people out there who liked Amway and liked the people in their line of sponsorship. Getting sucked into the Amway cult didn’t happen overnight and quitting won’t be an easy overnight process for them either.

For some people it is a difficult, painful process quitting Amway because of the way they’ve been brainwashed and their thought process has been manipulated by their cult leaders. They’ve been in meetings where their cult leader has ranted about the latest IBO who has quit. Loser, pariah, quitter, etc. They order the cult followers in their downline not to have anything more to do with this person. The IBO knows if they quit they will be the main topic of their cult leader’s rant at the next Amway meeting.

Here’s a Youtube video about former cult member (Moonies) turned therapist Steve Hassan. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CApMzIX46kw

He’s being interviewed by Eric Sheibeler, author of Merchants ofDeception and they’re discussing the Amway cult. The links to part 2 and 3 videos are found on this Youtube page. Hassan has written a couple of books that might be helpful to people wanting to leave Amway. It might be worth checking out at the library or purchasing for anyone who is having difficulty leaving Amway.

Amway is no different than any bad habit that one is trying to quit. Some people can go cold turkey. Others have to take quitting in smaller steps until it is no longer something that control their lives.

I send good luck and best wishes to anyone trying to deprogram themselves from the Amway cult and hope the quitting process isn’t too painful. Any fucking assholes in your Amway upline gives you a hard time send them to this blog and tell them to leave a comment and I'll take care of them!

Amway Ambot Definition Of A "Business Owner"

The last time we ran the post about how Amway Ambots can’t grasp simple business equations, one of our readers had this to say:

I love it! I don't think it's possible to put it more clearly.

Good luck getting through though.

Didn't you know? Running a business is not about maximising the positive difference between income and expenses to turn profits.

Being a business owner is all about:

dishing out business cards with fancy words without coherence (and without the brand that you pay to be able to sell)

being obsessed with calling yourself a business owner 50 times per day. (and adding the redundant and ironic word “independent” in front of that)

always being busy, running to a business meeting, a conference, or having some important call on the cellphone.

being obsessed with insulting people who are employed

wearing a suit even when not called for (I think it is nostalgia to 1959, to honour the founding of their employer)

I've run a business for several years now. I have never felt the urge to insult people that report to an employer, to pronounce predictions of imminent doom on those who have no interest in doing what I do, to hire a toll free line just so that I could look more important. 

When asked what I do, I talk about the business first, and don't repeat the words“owner”, “own boss” or  “independent” 20 times, even though I dare to think I'm all of those things much more than the deranged commission only sales person who thought he could mentor me in the world of business.

 

Amway Ambots Can’t Grasp Easy Business Equations

With tax deadline creeping up on us I thought I’d share some basic wisdom that real business owners understand but would be beyond the grasp of a brainwashed Amway Ambot.

It’s a simple equation:

PROFIT = INCOME – EXPENSES

Get it people?

Say you’re a real business owner and your expenses for a month might run the gamut of various things, some are constant others occasional. Let’s say you only use your accountant at tax time. That would be an expense that hits one month but not always the other 11 months. Or the expense could vary, say you only have the accountant do occasional work throughout the year, but the granddaddy of it all happens once a year. Other occasional expenses might be renewing a business license or insurance or buying office supplies. Depending on your business regular monthly expenses might include things like payroll if you have employees, rent or mortgage on the place you conduct business, stock to be purchased, telephone, Internet, bank fees, car maintenance, meals, electric, and advertising.

Your income might vary too, depends on the product or service being sold, and if some months are slower than others.

Let’s work in round numbers so it’s easy for me.

Let’s say the real business owner’s income for a month is $15,000.

The expenses for that month are $11,000.

$15,000 (income) minus $11,000 (expenses) = $4,000 (profit).

Easy enough except in the real world we’d be dealing with random dollars and cents because nothing ever rounds up nicely.

Now let’s take a pretend business owner like an Amway Ambot.

$10 (income aka rebate on buying at least 100PV of shitty overpriced Amway products) minus $700 (expenses like buying at least $300 in Amway products, investing in the Amway tool scam – spending money on tickets and costs to get to Amway cult meetings) = $690 (profit).

Oops fuck! Forgot to put a minus in there. Make that -$690 loss.

Yup that’s right. LOSS!

As in a profit and loss statement where real business owners log and track.

$690 in the red!

Loss!

Let’s say the real business owner has some ups and downs in the year but his or her net annual profit is $50,000, so that’s sticking pretty close to the $4,000 monthly profit times 12 months.

Yup that’s profit. Well you know sort of. Uncle Sam wants his share and the business owner has the kinds of bills that most working people have.

Let’s get back to brainwashed Amway Ambot running a pretend business.

-$690 x 12 months = -$8,280 in annual losses.

And that’s being generous. Many Amway Ambots lose more money than that in a year.

When a real business owner looks at their profit and loss statement and sees they’re in the red every month they know that’s not a sustainable business. The choices are to make changes to their business plan or cut their losses and close shop.

An Amway Ambot is not allowed to keep a profit and loss statement. That’s forbidden by the Amway cult leaders because if the Ambot kept a P&L they’d see how much money they’re losing. A good Amway cult leader must keep the Ambot distracted to realize they’re being sucked dry tithing the Great Amway God.

Business owners know they must keep a P&L and monitor their income and expenses. It’s called keeping your books in order cause you’ll need this info at tax time and in case of an audit.
Let’s say it again:

PROFIT = INCOME – EXPENSES

It’s a simple mathematical equation.

Though depending on the volume of income and expenses it might not be “simple” for the person keeping track of it!

PROFIT = INCOME – EXPENSES

The above simple mathematical equation is dangerous to Amway cult leaders and must never be divulged to the Ambots.

 

Amway Ambots Brag About Tax Refunds

Seeing as how someone from the IRS is searching for “Amway and federal tax” and reading the relevant posts on this blog about Amway tax cheaters and tax time is upon us I thought I’d revisit this whole get-a-tax-refund-if-you’re-in-Amway that is widely promoted by the Amway cult leaders.

This was the type of tax advice our Amway upline gave us that everything in Amway is a tax deduction and they consider Amway tax returns as part of an IBO income. What the upline really means is the only way an IBO can make money in Amway is to deduct Amway expenses from the income they earn in their real J.O.B and the only Amway income comes in the form of a tax refund. Our upline told us we’d get a big tax refund deducting all our Amway expenses legitimate or not.

At Amway meetings I attended the Platinum and pretty much everyone else in the room would be bragging how things couldn’t be better and their Amway business is growing. Then these same IBO’s claim they’re getting a large refund after filing their income taxes.

My Ambot was fascinated. He had no idea the secret to getting a tax refund - according to our upline - was to become an Amway IBO. Free money from the government!

Refund? Ha, that’s a laugh when your business is doing good.

Ambots can not grasp this concept.

If your business makes too much money (income) and you don’t have enough deductions (expenses) you owe money at tax time. Yay! Business is going great!

If you do not make much money and your expenses are higher that your income then the government issues you a refund. Boo! Business is the shits!

In other words it is pretty much impossible for an IBO to claim business is going great and they’re making lots of money in Scamway and then talk out of the other side of their mouth about how they’re getting a big tax refund. Or as ambots refer to it: tax return income for running an Amway business.

Most Amway IBO’s in addition to being fake business owners work a dreaded J.O.B. and are employed by a company and receive regular paychecks. When tax time comes around those sneaky Amway bastards deduct all their Amway expenses (XS, Perfect Water, vitamins, food bars, hotels, function tickets, meals, travel, etc) against their job’s income.

That is the only way most IBO’s make money in Amway. By declaring everything they spend on Amway as a business expense and deducting it off their job’s income.

Lying little ambot bastards that they are! Tax cheaters!

Here is a big clue ambots! Unless you own a grocery store, items that you eat (groceries!) and items you use for cleaning up around your house can not be deducted as business expenses in order to get a tax refund. When you’re an Amway IBO if you’re declaring travel and restaurant expenses on your taxes you better be showing some kind of Amway income profit on selling Amway products. If Uncle Sam catches up with you you’ll be up shit creek!

What about people who run a legitimate business that’s got nothing to do with Amway. Legitimate business owners have tax numbers, business licenses, insurance, and accounting software where all monies received from customers and all monies paid out in the course of running our business are entered. Legitimate business expenses that can be used as deductions. We back it all up and give it to our accountants at tax time. This is because we’re smart enough to hire the services of a professional who checks we entered everything correctly and aren’t missing information and ensures we are not leaving ourselves exposed and who also does their damnedest to make sure they write off as many expenses as they legitimately can so that we have less money to pay back to the government in what we owe in taxes.

Sure the hell beats “counselling with upline” and being told everything in Amway (XS, Perfect Water, vitamins, laundry soap, cleaning products, etc) is a legitimate business deduction!

For the record - our accountant disagreed with the assholes in our Amway upline! Refused to handle anything Amway related. Accountants prefer to deal with legitimate businesses not pyramid schemes.

So much for “never question upline”!

If you are running a pretend Amway business and are taking your upline’s advice on filling out your taxes so that you can earn your money in Amway courtesy of a government tax refund check be prepared to end up in big shit in an audit.

When we were in Amway we were told if nothing else Amway is a good tax shelter. The taxman might disagree. Here is some more interesting reading:

IRS to Amway: The Party’s Over!

https://dissidentvoice.org/Jan05/Pringle0102.htm


And one more link if you're an Amway loser and you don't have a REAL business plan and your ass gets hauled into tax court because the IRS decided you're a tax cheat - you're pretty much fucked!

https://www.parkertaxpublishing.com/public/tax-deduction-amway-distributorship.html

 

The Amway Ambot Clunker Brigade

Part of the bullshit taught at our Amway meetings was “fake it till you make it”. And always lie. All good little IBO’s must lie about how good business is going even when they’re losing hundreds of dollars each month. If they tell the truth they’d never recruit anyone.

IBO’s were also taught to look the part of successful business men and women. This meant putting on business suits, owning a cell phone with texting capabilities, attending all meetings, and driving high end cars to give off the appearance of a successful business person.

I’ve never been much of a car person. I like safe, reliable cars that don’t break down. Good gas mileage is something else I look for when buying a car. High end or low end, makes no difference to me. I’m no snob. 

In our group IBO’s were told to drive upper end cars like Cadillacs, Jaguars, and BMW’s. And most IBO’s did buy them - vintage 1970’s and 1980’s rust buckets. Cars that broke down all the time but what else do you expect from cars that have over 300,000 miles on them and probably only got regular engine maintenance for the first few years when they were owned by people who could afford them brand new and kept them in good shape.

I never saw so many junker cars than what our upline were driving. When there was a board plan at someone’s house the street would be littered with these old heaps so we knew we were getting close to our destination.

But that was what IBO’s were brainwashed into buying by our sack of shit Platinum. He even insulted some people’s cars and called them “pimpmobiles” though they looked OK to me, just weren’t the “successful image” the bastard wanted the IBO to portray. The sack of shit Platinum wanted me to sell my newer model Toyota and buy an old BMW so we could say we owned one. I had zero interest in buying an older car that would probably cost me a lot in maintenance. I’d bought my car 3 months before Ambot signed up again with Amway and it took me awhile to find it and I was happy with it so I was NOT going to spend more time looking for another car so soon. At least I own a reliable car manufactured in this century. That’s more than the rest of you Amway assholes can say! The sack of shit was especially annoyed one day when he looked in my car and saw we were carrying business supplies in there - our business that is, nothing to do with Amway. He told Ambot that my car was supposed to only be used for transporting people and Amway tools and products. I told Ambot to give him a message from me: “Tough shit.”

Somehow I doubt that message got passed along!

Amway meetings must have brought down the neighborhood’s house values with all the clunkers parked down the street thanks to the army of Amway warriors driving to business meetings in their IBO specials like Lincoln Town Cars and BMWs with leaky sunroofs and bumpers held on with string and duct tape. IBO’s would carefully get out of their cars hoping the door with the rusty hinges wouldn’t fall into the street.

Driving a Beamer or Caddy that’s seen better days, dressed in a business suit, and clutching a cell phone doesn’t make a person a sharp, successful businessman no matter what fake image they are using to impress others. No matter what the sack of shit Platinum tells you it makes you look even worse driving an ugly gas guzzler that has a good chance of not starting when you turn the key in the ignition.

Yup living their fairy tale lives in the Amway land of make belief. A clunker of a high end car, the latest cell phone with huge monthly fees, and a business suit. Bunch of immature fools marching off to the latest Amway business meeting, ready to listen to more fairy tales and play “fake it till you make it” in a phoney business venture.