Amway Ambots Can’t Grasp Easy Business Equations

With tax deadline creeping up on us I thought I’d share some basic wisdom that real business owners understand but would be beyond the grasp of a brainwashed Amway Ambot.

It’s a simple equation:

PROFIT = INCOME – EXPENSES

Get it people?

Say you’re a real business owner and your expenses for a month might run the gamut of various things, some are constant others occasional. Let’s say you only use your accountant at tax time. That would be an expense that hits one month but not always the other 11 months. Or the expense could vary, say you only have the accountant do occasional work throughout the year, but the granddaddy of it all happens once a year. Other occasional expenses might be renewing a business license or insurance or buying office supplies. Depending on your business regular monthly expenses might include things like payroll if you have employees, rent or mortgage on the place you conduct business, stock to be purchased, telephone, Internet, bank fees, car maintenance, meals, electric, and advertising.

Your income might vary too, depends on the product or service being sold, and if some months are slower than others.

Let’s work in round numbers so it’s easy for me.

Let’s say the real business owner’s income for a month is $15,000.

The expenses for that month are $11,000.

$15,000 (income) minus $11,000 (expenses) = $4,000 (profit).

Easy enough except in the real world we’d be dealing with random dollars and cents because nothing ever rounds up nicely.

Now let’s take a pretend business owner like an Amway Ambot.

$10 (income aka rebate on buying at least 100PV of shitty overpriced Amway products) minus $700 (expenses like buying at least $300 in Amway products, investing in the Amway tool scam – spending money on tickets and costs to get to Amway cult meetings) = $690 (profit).

Oops fuck! Forgot to put a minus in there. Make that -$690 loss.

Yup that’s right. LOSS!

As in a profit and loss statement where real business owners log and track.

$690 in the red!

Loss!

Let’s say the real business owner has some ups and downs in the year but his or her net annual profit is $50,000, so that’s sticking pretty close to the $4,000 monthly profit times 12 months.

Yup that’s profit. Well you know sort of. Uncle Sam wants his share and the business owner has the kinds of bills that most working people have.

Let’s get back to brainwashed Amway Ambot running a pretend business.

-$690 x 12 months = -$8,280 in annual losses.

And that’s being generous. Many Amway Ambots lose more money than that in a year.

When a real business owner looks at their profit and loss statement and sees they’re in the red every month they know that’s not a sustainable business. The choices are to make changes to their business plan or cut their losses and close shop.

An Amway Ambot is not allowed to keep a profit and loss statement. That’s forbidden by the Amway cult leaders because if the Ambot kept a P&L they’d see how much money they’re losing. A good Amway cult leader must keep the Ambot distracted to realize they’re being sucked dry tithing the Great Amway God.

Business owners know they must keep a P&L and monitor their income and expenses. It’s called keeping your books in order cause you’ll need this info at tax time and in case of an audit.
Let’s say it again:

PROFIT = INCOME – EXPENSES

It’s a simple mathematical equation.

Though depending on the volume of income and expenses it might not be “simple” for the person keeping track of it!

PROFIT = INCOME – EXPENSES

The above simple mathematical equation is dangerous to Amway cult leaders and must never be divulged to the Ambots.

 

Amway Ambots Brag About Tax Refunds

Seeing as how someone from the IRS is searching for “Amway and federal tax” and reading the relevant posts on this blog about Amway tax cheaters and tax time is upon us I thought I’d revisit this whole get-a-tax-refund-if-you’re-in-Amway that is widely promoted by the Amway cult leaders.

This was the type of tax advice our Amway upline gave us that everything in Amway is a tax deduction and they consider Amway tax returns as part of an IBO income. What the upline really means is the only way an IBO can make money in Amway is to deduct Amway expenses from the income they earn in their real J.O.B and the only Amway income comes in the form of a tax refund. Our upline told us we’d get a big tax refund deducting all our Amway expenses legitimate or not.

At Amway meetings I attended the Platinum and pretty much everyone else in the room would be bragging how things couldn’t be better and their Amway business is growing. Then these same IBO’s claim they’re getting a large refund after filing their income taxes.

My Ambot was fascinated. He had no idea the secret to getting a tax refund - according to our upline - was to become an Amway IBO. Free money from the government!

Refund? Ha, that’s a laugh when your business is doing good.

Ambots can not grasp this concept.

If your business makes too much money (income) and you don’t have enough deductions (expenses) you owe money at tax time. Yay! Business is going great!

If you do not make much money and your expenses are higher that your income then the government issues you a refund. Boo! Business is the shits!

In other words it is pretty much impossible for an IBO to claim business is going great and they’re making lots of money in Scamway and then talk out of the other side of their mouth about how they’re getting a big tax refund. Or as ambots refer to it: tax return income for running an Amway business.

Most Amway IBO’s in addition to being fake business owners work a dreaded J.O.B. and are employed by a company and receive regular paychecks. When tax time comes around those sneaky Amway bastards deduct all their Amway expenses (XS, Perfect Water, vitamins, food bars, hotels, function tickets, meals, travel, etc) against their job’s income.

That is the only way most IBO’s make money in Amway. By declaring everything they spend on Amway as a business expense and deducting it off their job’s income.

Lying little ambot bastards that they are! Tax cheaters!

Here is a big clue ambots! Unless you own a grocery store, items that you eat (groceries!) and items you use for cleaning up around your house can not be deducted as business expenses in order to get a tax refund. When you’re an Amway IBO if you’re declaring travel and restaurant expenses on your taxes you better be showing some kind of Amway income profit on selling Amway products. If Uncle Sam catches up with you you’ll be up shit creek!

What about people who run a legitimate business that’s got nothing to do with Amway. Legitimate business owners have tax numbers, business licenses, insurance, and accounting software where all monies received from customers and all monies paid out in the course of running our business are entered. Legitimate business expenses that can be used as deductions. We back it all up and give it to our accountants at tax time. This is because we’re smart enough to hire the services of a professional who checks we entered everything correctly and aren’t missing information and ensures we are not leaving ourselves exposed and who also does their damnedest to make sure they write off as many expenses as they legitimately can so that we have less money to pay back to the government in what we owe in taxes.

Sure the hell beats “counselling with upline” and being told everything in Amway (XS, Perfect Water, vitamins, laundry soap, cleaning products, etc) is a legitimate business deduction!

For the record - our accountant disagreed with the assholes in our Amway upline! Refused to handle anything Amway related. Accountants prefer to deal with legitimate businesses not pyramid schemes.

So much for “never question upline”!

If you are running a pretend Amway business and are taking your upline’s advice on filling out your taxes so that you can earn your money in Amway courtesy of a government tax refund check be prepared to end up in big shit in an audit.

When we were in Amway we were told if nothing else Amway is a good tax shelter. The taxman might disagree. Here is some more interesting reading:

IRS to Amway: The Party’s Over!

https://dissidentvoice.org/Jan05/Pringle0102.htm


And one more link if you're an Amway loser and you don't have a REAL business plan and your ass gets hauled into tax court because the IRS decided you're a tax cheat - you're pretty much fucked!

https://www.parkertaxpublishing.com/public/tax-deduction-amway-distributorship.html

 

The Amway Ambot Clunker Brigade

Part of the bullshit taught at our Amway meetings was “fake it till you make it”. And always lie. All good little IBO’s must lie about how good business is going even when they’re losing hundreds of dollars each month. If they tell the truth they’d never recruit anyone.

IBO’s were also taught to look the part of successful business men and women. This meant putting on business suits, owning a cell phone with texting capabilities, attending all meetings, and driving high end cars to give off the appearance of a successful business person.

I’ve never been much of a car person. I like safe, reliable cars that don’t break down. Good gas mileage is something else I look for when buying a car. High end or low end, makes no difference to me. I’m no snob. 

In our group IBO’s were told to drive upper end cars like Cadillacs, Jaguars, and BMW’s. And most IBO’s did buy them - vintage 1970’s and 1980’s rust buckets. Cars that broke down all the time but what else do you expect from cars that have over 300,000 miles on them and probably only got regular engine maintenance for the first few years when they were owned by people who could afford them brand new and kept them in good shape.

I never saw so many junker cars than what our upline were driving. When there was a board plan at someone’s house the street would be littered with these old heaps so we knew we were getting close to our destination.

But that was what IBO’s were brainwashed into buying by our sack of shit Platinum. He even insulted some people’s cars and called them “pimpmobiles” though they looked OK to me, just weren’t the “successful image” the bastard wanted the IBO to portray. The sack of shit Platinum wanted me to sell my newer model Toyota and buy an old BMW so we could say we owned one. I had zero interest in buying an older car that would probably cost me a lot in maintenance. I’d bought my car 3 months before Ambot signed up again with Amway and it took me awhile to find it and I was happy with it so I was NOT going to spend more time looking for another car so soon. At least I own a reliable car manufactured in this century. That’s more than the rest of you Amway assholes can say! The sack of shit was especially annoyed one day when he looked in my car and saw we were carrying business supplies in there - our business that is, nothing to do with Amway. He told Ambot that my car was supposed to only be used for transporting people and Amway tools and products. I told Ambot to give him a message from me: “Tough shit.”

Somehow I doubt that message got passed along!

Amway meetings must have brought down the neighborhood’s house values with all the clunkers parked down the street thanks to the army of Amway warriors driving to business meetings in their IBO specials like Lincoln Town Cars and BMWs with leaky sunroofs and bumpers held on with string and duct tape. IBO’s would carefully get out of their cars hoping the door with the rusty hinges wouldn’t fall into the street.

Driving a Beamer or Caddy that’s seen better days, dressed in a business suit, and clutching a cell phone doesn’t make a person a sharp, successful businessman no matter what fake image they are using to impress others. No matter what the sack of shit Platinum tells you it makes you look even worse driving an ugly gas guzzler that has a good chance of not starting when you turn the key in the ignition.

Yup living their fairy tale lives in the Amway land of make belief. A clunker of a high end car, the latest cell phone with huge monthly fees, and a business suit. Bunch of immature fools marching off to the latest Amway business meeting, ready to listen to more fairy tales and play “fake it till you make it” in a phoney business venture.

Amway Nightmares

Don’t you just hate it when you wake up and can’t get back to sleep again? Even more so when whatever you were just dreaming about keeps you awake thinking about it and then thinking about other things that may be connected to that dream.

I was dreaming that I was standing somewhere talking to a person when out of the blue someone shot them. I saw who it was. Our Amway cult leader so I decided to get the hell out of there ASAP. That was when he started chasing me and kept shooting. I eluded him for a long time and then he caught up and shot someone else who was near to me. Then the Amway cult leader tells me he’s shooting people who won’t listen to tapes and that he won’t shoot me as long as I go to this location and listen to a tape. And just so he knows I’m going to the location he gives this top to me to wear that has a recording device on it so he’ll know if I’m asking anyone for help so he can kill both of us. I remember getting to the location but didn’t listen to the tape before I made another getaway and woke up. Even in my subconscious I still refuse to listen to Amway tapes! Fortunately my Ambot was not in my dream so I know he wasn’t killed. Yeah it was a bizarre dream with the cult leader killing anyone who wouldn’t listen to Amway tapes. The man chasing me didn’t look a thing like our Platinum cult leader. He looked more like another infamous cult leader - Charles Manson - except this one’s hair and beard were a lighter color.

When I read Eric Scheibeler’s book Merchants of Deception he stated that some of the Amway cult followers told him they would do anything for their hallowed leaders. Die for them. Kill for them. No hidden message here about the threats. He genuinely feared for his life and his family.

You can download a free copy of Merchants of Deception at the link on the right side of this page under More Information About Amway.

Its incredible the horrible acts that cult followers can be induced to commit that they never would have considered prior to joining the cult. I don’t think Scheibeler’s upline were all that different than my own.

At meetings our Platinum cult leader often told us about the guy who recruited him into Amway. I never met the guy. He had long since quit Amway. Several people upline of the Platinum had quit over 10 or 15 years so now the person directly above our Platinum was the Emerald because everyone else inbetween had dropped out. When the Platinum sack of shit told us about his sponsor he said he threatened him when he signed up with Amway. Told him that if he didn’t make any money at Amway then he would break the guys arms and legs. Sometimes he’d change the story slightly and say the guys arms and legs would be torn out. You know if it was me I wouldn’t go around bragging about something like that. If anything ever happened to that sponsor, even after all these years, who is the first person who’s going to be a suspect?

Our Platinum claims to be a good Christian and at every Amway meeting told us that God is number one in his life. I don’t know. Good Christians go around threatening to tear out people’s limbs if they don’t make money in Amway?

For Christsakes we’d be running into one armed and one legged people everywhere we go!

Kind of like Jack the Ripper. This guy ought to be known as Jackass Platinum the Ripper.

I just thought it was kind of stupid of the Platinum telling us this story at all and especially telling it when we’ve got a tape recorder running. One of these things that could come back and haunt him. I think the Platinum used that story as a moral that he made money in Amway because its easy to make money in Amway, therefore his sponsor didn’t need to go in for limb replacement surgery.

But is our Platinum really making any money? For all I know there’s a guy somewhere out there who’s had his arms and legs removed all in the name of Amway upline devotion.

 

 

Products You Love Ain’t Sold By Amway

Injecting a little love into this post!

“The Products You Love”.

Inspired by yet another Google Ad pretending not to be Amway. But I’m wise to these false advertisers now.

The only way I’m clicking my way to yet another IBO’s Amway portal page is to give the anti-Amway blog writer a few extra bucks! And then I’m outta there!

I seriously doubt if I clicked on the link for “The Products You Love” that I would actually find anything I love available there.

Does Amway carry the things I love: chocolate coated strawberries (fresh not dehydrated!), books written by my favorite authors, chocolate peanut butter ice cream, slushies, puppies, seascape paintings, LA Gear sneakers...

Nope. Instead Amway carries a bunch of overpriced shit that I HATE!

There is absolutely no Amway product that I LOVE and MUST HAVE. Their fruit juices are about the only Amway product that I liked. Not love. Just like. I HATE their price tag though. I can buy juice at the grocery store for a fraction of the price Amway charges for their juice.

“The Products You Love”. Talk about false advertising. I’m almost tempted to click on the ad just to find the IBO’s contact information. They promised me products I love and right now I’d love some ice cream. And while I’m placing an order I’ll take the latest Stephen King novel, a Bon Jovi CD, and an English Setter puppy.

Then the IBO has to fess up and say they don’t sell those things.

What? You can’t provide the products I love? Fucking lying IBO! False advertising! How about I report you to Adsense? Why are you even doing advertising on the Internet anyway? Got some of those free $100 adsense coupons that are floating around? I thought Amway says you can’t do that kind of advertising. Must have gotten “permission”.

The only people who claim to love Amway products are brainwashed IBO’s. However once they quit Amway the love affair is over. They were only brainwashed into thinking they loved them during their Amway jail time.

If that IBO doesn’t want to be accused of false advertising he (she?) should change their slogan to “products you’ll hate at prices you’ll hate”. At least that now becomes truth in advertising. It might even intrigue people to click on the ad to see exactly what it is that they’ll be hating.

In closing I have a message to the Ambot owner of the “products you love” ad in the immortal words of Bon Jovi:

YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME!