Anything For A Buck?

Remember the show Newhart that was on in the 80’s? Larry and his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl ran a restaurant and a sideline business called “anything for a buck”.

Sometimes I think Ambot and I are running a similar side business doing whatever for a buck. One of the joys of being self employed and semi retired is we can leave the shop in the hands of our employees and we can kind of take on impromptu opportunities. Ambot doesn’t like to lose out on a money making opportunity, therefore explains the descent into Amway hell.

Ambot comes home one night after visiting a friend of ours who is a house painter and occasionally he gets large jobs and needs to hire helpers. He’s got the interior of an 8000 square foot house to paint and needs help. So Ambot volunteers that I’ll come work for him. Hunh??? Now how did that happen? Especially since every time we paint a room Ambot bitches at me for doing a shitty job and then he ends up taking over. I don’t think I do all that bad a job painting but I’m not looking to hire myself out as a painter. Oh, I guess I didn’t. Thanks Ambot.

So it takes overnight for the shock of me working for someone else to wear in and in the morning I ask Ambot how much money I’m going to get paid for painting. He said that’s still to be discussed.....

Ambot doesn’t like to miss an opportunity to earn some money so he’s kind of like Larry and Darryl and Darryl. I think that’s what drew him into this whole Amway mess. Having some fucking Amway asshole promising you will be making an extra $1000/month by only working 10 to 15 hours a week is very appealing. Even more appealing when the upline Platinum and Diamond speakers up the ante and say you can earn $80K/year, $100K/year and up and up and up it goes!

So there you have it. Proof that there are better ways than Amway to make money without hardly trying.

“Anything for a buck” and we don’t have to rip people off!

And for those of you wondering whether I actually helped paint that house – hell no!

 

 

Amway Losers Love Trading Business Cards

When we were in Amway the assholes in our upline told us that now we were “business owners” to figure out a business name to call the company. To hell with going through any proper measures to legally register the business name just in case someone else has already legally registered it. Just choose a name and use it. And then because you “own your own business” you can give yourself any title that you choose.

Then the ambots are told to make up business cards to pass out to potential prospects and customers so they’d run out and buy business card sheets so they could make up their own cards on their computer. Mostly ambots passed out these business cards among themselves because nobody else wanted them and they would all ooohhh and aaaahhhh with all the fakey nicey nice over the top compliments. I saw more fucked up pieces of shitty pretend businesses on these cards than you could imagine.

Like any nightmare I don’t remember any phony ass business names that ambots chose for their phony business but some of the titles I remember. And the business cards looked like shit. The home made jobs where you use some clip art program on your computer to put a beach or mansion or sports car or sacks of money on the business card. I don’t remember anyone using Amway logo but I do remember some of them using pictures of Amway products which is probably a violation of Amway’s policy but ambots don’t give a flying fuck about those kind of details.

So I’d get passed these business cards that would read something like:



My Fucked Up Phony Ass Amway Business

Asshole Ambot

President and CEO of Bullshit





The titles were all over the place: president, CEO, manager, vice president of operations – those vice president titles would be on the wife’s business cards! That’s how it is in Amway. The wives are always second. Oh what the fuck am I thinking! Wives are way further down than second!

That’s part of running a phony business with a phony business name. You can give yourself a phony business title to make you look all big and important.

What are better titles that should be on Amway Ambot business cards? Or at least more honest titles:

Fucking Asshole

Liar

Scammer

Sack Of Shit

Dumb Fuck

Phony Bastard

Loser

Troublemaking Bastard

Head Bullshitter

Miserable Son Of a Bitch

Ass Kisser

Dreamstealer

Negative Bastard

Angry Piece of Shit

Sneering Snide Son of A Bitch

Fake Fucking Fruitloop

Mall & Grocery Store Stalker Extrodanaire

Lying, Pretending and Faking is my Specialty

Overpriced Soap Pusher

Love Bombing and Psychological Manipulation Inc.


These ambots sit around at work all day dreaming of how rich they’re going to be thanks to Amway and how they own their own business and how that makes them better than everyone else they work with and they got the business cards to prove it.

Putting on a business suit, pretending how busy you are on your cell phone, and playing 8pm warrior going to Amway meetings, and passing out phony ass business cards with fake names and titles does not make you a real business owner.

 

 

Amway Ambots And Their Idiotic Amspeak Slogans

One of our readers shares some idiotic Amspeak slogans that Amway losers love to spout off:

 

One thing about Amway that is very clear: The people who run it love to make up slogans and idiotic claims that are meaningless, but which can be shouted at potential recruits or critics in a triumphant, loudmouthed fashion. Here are twelve of them:

“In Amway you buy from your own store!” (absolutely irrational)

“People in Amway are PROSUMING, not consuming!” (meaningless fake language)

“When you succeed in Amway you’ll have residual income for life!” (totally false, and Amway now tells IBOs never to say it)

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win!” (who says?)

“Nobody in up-line makes a profit from tools!” (a complete lie)

“If you attend a function, you’ll be six months ahead of everyone else who doesn’t attend!” (really? Is the function magical?)

“If you don’t take Nutrilite every day, you’ll shrivel up and die!” (when an IBO spouts this to you, answer “OK -- don’t take it for a month so that we can test you theory.”)

“Almost no one in Amway gets divorced!” (yeah, sure.)

“Amway is partnering with big Fortune 500 companies!” (completely dishonest bullshit)

“Your job is a pyramid scheme!” (oh yeah? Then why am I getting a salary, benefits, and a pension from it?)

“People who aren’t in Amway are broke losers!” (yeah, like my uncle who is a multimillionaire from his import-export business. He never joined Amway)

“Amway is looking for sharp, energetic go-getters like you!” (yes, of course. That’s why you sign up every down-and-out schmuck whom you can drag to a meeting.)

I hope everyone reading this will come up with other insane Amway lies, and post them here.