Amway Quacks

When an IBO signs up to be a commissioned sales rep with Amway that also means they now become a professional expert on everything.

Yes everything. Fuck those college degrees. You can become an expert by paying a couple of hundred a year to become a card carrying Amway asshole. That’s only the membership fee. Doesn’t include the thousands of dollars you have to spend to keep the Amway upline happy.

What’s really scary are Amway ambots dispensing medical advice. Their “patients” suffer from various illnesses and because the ambot is in Amway that means they are now a medical professional and can treat and cure these diseases.

Its really scary the comments that have been left here and questions asked. Amway ambots are telling people with terminal illnesses that Amway products will cure what ails them and patients are searching the Internet to check out the claims made by these Amway quacks.

25 years ago Ambot and I took one of those weekend first aid courses so that meant we were the most medically trained professionals in our line of sponsorship. That plus the fact we’ve watched on TV just about every medical drama out there. Every ambot in our group would phone for medical advice. For christsake! – see a real doctor. And sometimes they did but they would still come to us for a second opinion because we were better qualified than highly trained doctors because we were in Amway.

My long ago first aid training consists of learning to do the Heimlich maneuver, CPR, and put on bandages. Don’t come to me for medical advice. If you got a splinter in your finger I can probably help you. If you’re dying of cancer I’m not going to suggest you take Amway snake oil for your miracle cure. But that’s because I’ve got morals and I’m no liar and I’m not trying to fuck a buck out of you by scamming you. An Amway quack standing at the gateway to hell will lie just to get your money for the phony medical advice they give.

Amway ambots have no morals. They’re only out to make a buck so these Amway quacks have no problem dispensing bad medical advice while pretending they have a medical degree from Amway university.

Amway ambots are quick to insult doctors who actually went to medical school and got degrees. What a waste of money when its so much cheaper to become an Amway quack.

Amway quacks also use some bullshit line about would you ask your friend for advice on surgery instead of a real surgeon. Ambots don’t even see surgeons and instead they do ask their Amway quack friends for surgery and medical advice. Ambots seek medical advice from Amway quacks instead of qualified doctors who graduated from medical school with a degree.

Amway ambots are know it alls. Today they might be an Amway quack dispensing medical advice and tomorrow they might be an ambulance chaser giving legal advice.

“Paging Dr. Quack. Paging Dr. Quack. Amway is calling.”

 

What Exactly Is Amway

One of our talented readers came up with a poem that perfectly describes Amway. It deserves its own post. Thank you for your contribution!

Who else wants to see the Goads put this to music and sing it at the next Amway WWDB brainwashing conference?

 

WHAT EXACTLY IS AMWAY?

Amway seeks out brainless dopes
And fills them with imagined hopes.
They only sign up stupid folk,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Look at helpless IBOs
Paying money through the nose--
These losers are all going broke
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Amway works you like a slave
And sends you to an early grave.
You’ll sweat, you’ll starve, you’ll cough and choke,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

You’ll slowly rack up massive debt
For purchases you’ll soon regret.
The tension will give you a stroke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

Go to functions, hear the crap
Spouting from some Diamond’s yap--
Those big-pin scum are blowing smoke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke,

You even have to take a class
On how to kiss your Platinum’s ass.
You’re shackled to your up-line’s yoke,
“Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

You’re hoping for a bonus check?
You think you’ll make a fortune? Heck--
Before you earn a dime, you’ll croak,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

What is left, when unpaid bills
Pile up in big paper hills?
Smoke some weed, or high-grade coke,
‘Cause Amway is a fucking joke.

 

 

Helpful Tip: Do Not Buy XS Energy Drink Gear

Ambot was so hyped with everything Amway that he went to the XS Gear website undoubtedly encouraged by his upline and purchased some items. Ambot never drank energy drinks prior to getting involved in Amway but during the Amway dark ages he purchased boxes of XS energy drinks weekly and consumed them with frighteningly urgency. It was only natural he would want to promote the product that his upline convinced him was going to pave his path to riches.

He purchased what could best be described as a nylon webbed cycling outfit - shirt and shorts. He also purchased an XS cooler to store all his XS energy drinks and carry them dutifully to all Amway meetings.

The problem with the shirt and shorts was that they arrived in a smaller size than Ambot ordered and they charged his credit card so they had his money. Thus began many phone calls back and forth between Ambot and XS Gear. After dicking Ambot around for several weeks XS Gear finally admits they don’t have his size and won’t be getting any more because its a discontinued product. After all IBO’s are so busy attending meetings and functions, dealing with multiple phone calls and texts from upline, showing the plan, and all the other time-consuming bullshit that goes on inside “the business” who’s got time to ride a bike.

Ambot tried to return the clothes but XS Gear refused to take them back. Remember they strung him along with telephone tag for a long time and checking the stockroom for other sizes? They have a refund policy only if the items are returned within 30 days. The time frame had expired.

Let’s see. Whose fault was it for charging the credit card and then shipping the wrong size?

Their suggestion to Ambot? “Keep taking the product and one day you’ll fit into the clothes.”

What a bunch of fucking idiots especially since they sent the wrong size in the first place instead of coming clean from the start and admitting to Ambot they were unable to fill the order. No wonder Amway partners with them. Always good to have a partner store on hand that shares similar philosophies in fucking over IBO’s.

I’m not sure what happened to those clothes. I haven’t seen them. Its possible Ambot chucked them out or put them in with other clothes we donate to charity. Maybe they’re stuck in the back of the closet and I’ll run into them again one day. He never wore them.

As for the XS cooler? We didn’t really need another cooler. We have 2 or 3 already. Ambot probably only bought it for bragging rights to impress his upline and crossline about how devoted he is. Ambot loaned it to one of the fucking assholes in his Amway upline and they stole it. Never to grace our house again thank God!

That’s one of the best things about ending our Amway business - no longer dealing with lowlife lying, greed-consumed Amway IBO thieves.

 

 

I Wake Up Even When I’m Not Done Sleeping

Last night was one of those nights when I kept waking up. I couldn’t stay asleep. I finally woke up just after 6am an ungodly hour of the day for me. I’ll probably go outside and lie down on the lounge chair with a book and end up falling asleep in the sun and then I’ll really be groggy for the rest of the day!

At the many Amway meetings I attended the cult leader speaking to the group would say something to the effect of “wouldn’t it be great to wake up in the morning when you’re done sleeping”. I know I heard our sack of shit Platinum said that at every Scamway meeting that his wife gets up once she’s done sleeping. Sounds a little irresponsible when you have school age children. Their kids were teenagers - a boy and a girl - I think about 13 and 14 at the time. Does mom not want to make sure the kids are getting themselves out of bed on time, eating a decent breakfast, packing a lunch, and making sure they get out the door? Would Platinum dad be doing all this? Unlikely. That asshole is a male chauvinist pig and childcare he would put under the category of “woman’s work”. In which case his wife is very likely getting out of bed when the sack of shit shakes her awake and says “you’re done sleeping. Get up now! I want my fucking breakfast!”

The main reason the Platinum says his wife gets out of bed when she’s done sleeping is to sneer at the downline who have jobs and set their alarm clock daily and get out of bed in time to get to work.

“Wake up when you’re done sleeping” is something I have a hard time getting my head wrapped around. First off most parents who have school age children don’t laze around in bed and get up when they’re “done sleeping”. Maybe - and that’s a big maybe depending on how mature and responsible the kid is - once the kid is a junior or senior and is capable of getting themselves out of bed on time, dressed, eat breakfast and off to school. I know I was just as likely to play hooky as go to school. Just because your kid goes out the door doesn’t mean they don’t have better things to do for the day than go to school. Parents who have younger children need to get them out of bed, dressed, prepare breakfast, fix a lunch bag, and walk them to school unless there are older siblings who can walk with the younger child. Its my guess that most stay at home parents wake up by at least 7am. They probably don’t go back to bed once everyone is out the door either.

Unless of course you’re a lazy ass IBO who is following the upline’s advice about not getting out of bed until you’re done sleeping.

Unlike what the Amway assholes say about wouldn’t it be nice not to have to wake up to an alarm clock every morning I very rarely set my alarm clock. If I set my alarm its because I have somewhere to be early. Alarm clock or not I’d say that I very rarely wake up when I’m “done sleeping”. Like today for example! I ain’t done sleeping yet! So I’m working on a blog post!

Just because Platinums and Diamonds praise the value of staying in bed until you’re “done sleeping” doesn’t mean its something everyone aspires to do and not something that is necessarily practical. I guess none of them ever heard of Benjamin Franklin and “early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”.

I wouldn’t say that I necessarily go to bed early though since we’re no longer in Amway I’m able to get to bed before midnight. Does it make me healthy waking up early? When I get up I walk the dog, have something light to eat, and then I go to the Y to swim or do an exercise class. Healthy enough I suppose. Or healthier than lying around in bed until I’m “done sleeping”.

Let’s compare that to an Amway IBO. Say the lazy bastard hauls ass out of bed around noon. They go to the kitchen to prepare a meal of an XS energy drink, food bar, and vitamins. Next will probably be checking email, text messages, and making lots of phone calls. Next thing its late in the afternoon and the laundry and housecleaning aren’t done. What about yard work? When was the last time the lawn was mowed or the garden weeded? Who’s got time for that? Now its time for counselling with downline because they’re starting to get off work now and then the 8pm board plan meeting and the night owl. Arrive back home around 2am and do it all over again the next day.

Lying around in bed is a waste of time to many people. I’ve always gone with the philosophy that the quicker I can get things done the quicker I can relax. Even though I can lay around in bed until noon if I wanted I don’t do it because the day is getting away from me.

Waking up when I’m done sleeping does not work for me.

Neither does waking up when I’m not done sleeping!

But I still press on.

At least I’m not an Amway asshole who lies around in bed half the day because of a feeling of entitlement because that’s what the upline tells them to aspire to - get up when they’re done sleeping.

And those Amway fuckers call us lazy!

 

Join Amway And Lose The Ability To Think For Yourself

The last time we posted Join Amway For Exciting Changes Or Just More Bullshit one of our readers had this to say:

 

Every time someone joins a cult (whether religious, political, social, or business-linked), he is subtly but effectively changed. His personality begins to reshape itself in ways that support his new belief system. The leaders of the cult and fellow members encourage this and reward it, and they punish the members who are resistant to it.

The most important characteristic of a mentally free and independent person is the ability to THINK FOR YOURSELF. It is the refusal to allow others to manipulate you into doing or believing that which you don't want to do, or that which you question.

Everything in Amway is designed to destroy your intellectual independence, as a prelude to destroying your financial independence.

At a very deep level, the human mind resists this kind of manipulation and destruction, which is the reason cult members show all the signs of anger and resentment and viciousness that Anna describes in the above post.
They unconsciously sense that they have been poisoned.

And this is why those who escape from cults like Amway have a tremendous sense of liberation. They can say "I no longer BELIEVE IN THE BULLSHIT!" It's a great relief to them.

 

Join Amway For Exciting Changes? Or Just More Bullshit?

At just about every Amway meeting we attended we were told that we’d come on board at just the right time. Now is the beginning of what is gearing up to be a huge increase in Internet sales of Amway products. Exciting changes are just about to happen in the Amway business. This is huge!

I could have sworn we heard the same pitch many years ago too!

We were shown charts of how this trend was supposed to occur over the next few years with sales going up. This chart was part of the business plan flip cards that were shown at every Amway meeting.

There might be some changes but whether or not they’re exciting is debatable. I’m not really here to discuss Amway policy and what changes are going on in their company. This blog exists to curse out my former upline and inform others what it was like living with an Ambot.

Here are the (not-exciting) changes I observed in Ambot:

1. he got into huge arguments with people he normally got along well with who didn’t want to come to Amway meetings
2. he sneered at people who had J.O.B.s and weren’t willing to consider an Amway career
3. he was very rude to friends who weren’t interested in supporting his business by buying overpriced Amway products
4. he dropped whatever he was doing to respond to phone calls or text messages from the upline who wanted him to haul his ass to where they were for whatever they deemed was more important
5. he quoted Amway speak constantly and parroted whatever his upline brainwashed him into repeating
6. he questioned everything I did and how that was making him money in his Amway business
7. he had the brainwashed delusion that his upline sponsor was some sort of god and therefore we must lick his asshole
8. he became a slob around the house littering his Amway garbage wherever he happened to be and refused to put the consumed items containers into the garbage or recycling bin
9. he used his previously debt free credit card for Amway related purchases including treating the entire upline out for meals and maxed it out
10. he became increasingly agitated, argumentative, rude, and snobbish
11. he accused everyone with different points of view (from his upline) of being negative

The changes since Ambot got out of the cult are a lot more positive. Becoming a nice person again is one. Despite the upline’s proclamations that being in Amway makes you a nicer person to distract the IBO’s from paying attention to the money they’re not making, I’m here to dispute that and say NO FUCKING WAY does being an IBO make you a nicer person. As a group mentality they might all put on a fake nicey nice act at functions and seminars but in private they’re nasty, surly, unapproachable sorry excuses for human beings. Funny how losing money in Amway can change a person’s personality especially since the upline brainwashes them into thinking the reason they’re not succeeding is because they’re not trying hard enough or because they’re losers.

I’m here to say watching someone getting brainwashed by the Amway cult is not an exciting change.

And one more time from marriedtoanambot let’s just send another big old FUCK YOU out to Amway Scamway and their scammer army of Ambots.

 

 

Follow Up To Advice For The Lovelorn

One of our readers comments on the situation of dating an Amway Ambot who is my hero! There should be more guys around like this who will punch out an Amway asshole if some fucking Ambot is disrespecting his girlfriend/wife.

 

I swear, Anna, the more I hear about these Amway freaks the angrier I get.

This intelligent woman goes to an Amway meeting with her boyfriend, with an open mind, and with all the good will in the world.

And what happens? She asks a few honest questions, and the Amway "mentors" start degrading her to her face, in front of her boyfriend, in a public setting. What the hell is going on?

First off, if I were her boyfriend and that happened, I would have jumped up and punched that Amway asshole right in the mouth. How dare he allow someone to insult and abuse his girlfriend just for asking some simple questions? What's wrong with this boyfriend? Was he born without a pair of balls?

Even worse, he blames his girlfriend! According to him, she hasn't "earned the right" to have information.

Huh? You're being recruited into a business deal and you have no right to get information about it? Was this boyfriend born stupid, or did he take an advanced degree in stupidity? She should dump this pathetic creep just for having a room-temperature IQ.

Finally, these Amway freaks alienated someone for no reason at all -- they insulted the woman and disrespected her. Is that normal procedure when you're trying to get people to join your business?

Then this idiot of a boyfriend has the nerve to tell her that she "needs to be on the path to excellence with him." What utter, mealy-mouthed, phony propaganda! It means absolutely nothing at all, but it is the typical half-assed pronouncement thought up by MLM fanatics as an "answer."