Friday, September 13, 2013

101 More ways To Piss Off An Amway IBO

Had so much fun with the original post that I had to carry it through with a little help from some of the people who left comments
           
1.     Are you one of those assholes that sells Amway shit?
2.     How does your wife feel about you being in Amway?
3.     How much time do your children spend with babysitters and daycare because you’re too busy with your Amway business to spend any time with them?
4.     How much debt have you gone into because of Amway?
5.     Does your upline ever give you money?
6.     Did some half wit Platinum give you a piece of his mind and you held on to it?
7.     You’ve got to pay to attend seminars so Amway can teach you how to be a commissioned salesperson? Don’t most companies provide free training?
8.     How do your upline Diamonds split the profits from the tool scam money?
9.     What’s  it like having everyone laugh at you when you say you’re in Amway?
10. You seem awfully consumed by an unnatural desire for materialistic things.
11.   If it's really your own business, then why does your upline control more of your life than my boss does at my J.O.B.?
12. If I’m the broke loser, how come I own my house outright while you are begging family for money to avoid foreclosure?
13.  If your Amway upline Diamond asked you to drink a glass of Kool-Aid, would you do it without question? Even if his name was Jim Jones?
14. Does it bother you that the “fake it til you make it” quote sounds like an old bedroom joke?
15.  What proof do you have that 95% of the population is dead or broke by age 65?
16. How fast did you lose your friends thanks to Amway?
17.  When my childhood friend told me there really wasn't a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, was he being a dream-stealer or just telling the truth?
18. Who do you like better? Ken or Barbie?
19. Amway IBO’s are lowlife scumsucking bastards.
20.I couldn’t possibly join your Amway scam. I’m not a liar.
21. It’ll cost me an extra $50 a month to have an Amway web page?
22. Does it make you feel superior to others when you sneer at them for having a job?
23.I’m a compassionate human being who cares about others. You’re an Amway ambot.
24.I was watching the Stepford Wives last night and I thought about you.
25.Where are the other 2 stooges?
26.Are you always this stupid or are you just quoting your Amway upline?
27.Why do people in Amway have such a low opinion of others?
28.You want to show me a board plan? I’m busy now. Can you come back and bore me some other time? Like twenty years from now.
29.You’re in Amway? You must have some obscene desire to have people hate you.
30.Go ahead and tell me everything that’s good about Amway. Oh you’re second is up!
31.  Look up idiot in the dictionary. The definition is people who are involved in Amway.
32.You never used to be this stupid until you got involved in Amway.
33. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people get scammed into Amway.
34.Are all ambots a big an asshole as you or are you just making a big effort today?
35. You’re living proof that people in Amway are brainwashed.
36.I used to think you were a pain in the ass but now that you’re involved in Amway my opinion of you has lowered.
37. I would ask how much money you make in Amway but I know you’re going to lie to me.
38.You don’t want to talk to me. I’m the dreaded dream stealer!
39.What do you mean I’m fat and should go on the Amway Trim diet plan? You’re a fucking inconsiderate Amway bastard. At least I can lose weight.
40.Don’t you ever get tired of being an ambot asshole?
41. You sound like you’re possessed by a sack of shit Platinum.
42. I’ve come across Satan worshippers who are less offensive than you Amway ambots.
43.What makes an ambot tick? I sure hope its a bomb!
44. Is your family happy that you don’t come home at night because you’re at Amway meetings?
45.You used to be a nice person. Then you joined Amway.
46.You say you’ll go far one day thanks to Amway? Why don’t you go far right now and stay there?
47.Must you leave so soon? I was about to put cyanide in the XS.
48.You’re in Amway? Is there medication for that?
49.Thanks for pointing out that I have a J.O.B.
50.You signed up with Amway? You’re as dumb as you look.
51.  We all sprang from apes but you ambots didn’t spring far enough.
52.The only skill you’ll ever get from being in Amway is the art of being rude and obnoxious.
53. Don’t you have a night owl to run off to?
54.I don’t know what makes you Amway ambots so dumb but whatever it is really works.
55. If jobs are so bad why do you think people have them?
56.I thought people who joined Amway did it to avoid spending time with their families.
57. I’m out of my mind because I won’t join Amway? At least I’ve still got one.
58.I might have a shitty job but anything’s better than being an ambot.
59.Why are you pretending to talk into your cell phone?
60.I’ve had enough of hearing about how awesome Amway is. No pyramid scheme is awesome.
61. If you ambots find it hard to laugh at yourselves the rest of us will do it for you.
62. Oh shit. The fuck up ambot is visiting again!
63.When can I come to an Amway board plan? How about never. Works for me!
64. Don’t you have an Amway cult leader you need to run off to and worship?
65.You wanna hear my dreams? It involves duct taping your mouth.
66.What am I? An ambot magnet?
67.Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a Satanist. My daddy!
68.Why are you ambots the biggest bunch of dumb asses around?
69.You’re starting to make sense. Go back and get more instructions from your Amway cult leader.
70.If I join Amway I have to be all nicey nice to everyone? Do I look like a fucking people person?
71.  I used to be in Amway. I started out with nothing and I ended up with even less.
72.The only ambots who aren’t as annoying as you are already dead.
73. I’m trying to imagine how you’d be if you weren’t a brainwashed ambot.
74.Amway’s got too many freaks.
75. If I throw a stick will you leave?
76.You ambots are not as bad as people say. You are worse!
77. Are you brain dead?
78.You’re not as obnoxious as other people. Thanks to Amway you’re obnoxious in a different and worst way.
79.Calling you ambots stupid would be an insult to stupid people!
80.Why are you ambots so devoted to spreading brainwashed bullshit?
81. Don’t you realize there’s enough hate in this world without you ambots giving us more reasons?
82. Ever since you became an ambot you have more faces than Sybil!
83.How did you get ambots get here? Who left the cage open?
84.How can you tell when an Amway IBO is lying? His lips are moving!
85.I can’t talk to you right now. Tell me where you’ll be in 2 to 5 years.
86. I heard what you said. I just don’t give a flying fuck.
87.I’d rather pass a kidney stone than go to an Amway meeting with you.
88.If I want any more shit out of you should I just go ahead and squeeze your head?
89. As an Amway ambot your mission in life is to make everyone hate you.
90. Why do I have to pay admission to listen to a bunch of brainwashed ambots?
91. You ambots need to learn from your parent’s mistakes. Use birth control!
92. Obviously you’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about Amway.
93.What do you mean Perfect Water came from the Fountain of Knowledge?
94. Talk is cheap but those Amway products sure aren’t.
95.They just invented a new coffin for Amway IBO’s that just goes over the head. It's for ambots who are dead from the neck up.
96. What you ambots lack in intelligence you more than make up for in stupidity.
97.When you die, I'd like to go to your Amway funeral but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
98. You Amway IBO’s are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a rabbit’s ass.
99. You ambots are living proof that shit can grow legs and walk.
100.Everyone hates you Amway IBO’s so much that when you walk into a Taco Bell everyone inside runs for the border.
101.You Amway IBO’s start at the bottom of the pyramid and then its all downhill from there.

I had more ways to piss off an IBO but once again I forced myself to stop when I hit 101! Ha ha!

10 comments:

  1. There is no word that could describe my hatred for Amway.I went to an Amway meeting in they called work slave labor with paid. This is STUPID, how can it be slave labor when you are getting paid.

    There are people out there who do perform work and services for free, they are called volunteers. Of course Amway never volunteers because they only love money, not helping people in need.

    Amway don't believe in donating blood they tell their downliner to SELL BLOOD just so they have money to attend one of Amway functions. How low could you go? Selling blood just to attend an Amway summit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anonymous. Thanks for stopping by.if ambots actually took the time to add up the hours they spend devoted to Amway and divided the hours from the measly commission check they receive they'd figure out that slave labor. And that's only of they happened to personally spend around $300 that month buying Smway products to earn a commission check. They might have still put in a shitload of hours for nothing. Zippo!

      You've got it. People in Amway only love money and what theyll do to get it - we'll selling blood is probably better than selling their body.

      Delete
  2. Will I need to get a sales tax exemption number for items/product I purchase to then later sell? No! Hmmmm doesn't sound like a business to me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha. Yup that's another good one. We should probably come up with another 101 ways to puss off an IBO and come up with fresh material.

      Delete
  3. Also Married To An AmbotOctober 7, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    I love this post. And I might use some. I already have a few of my own tactics:
    1. Refuse the seat a male Ambot gave up for you. Dude, I said I want to stand in the back. Don't judge me over it.
    2. Why do I want to stand in the back? Because I'm practicing yoga poses instead of listening to the plan. Duh.
    3. Business casual? More like skinny jeans and flip flops.
    4. Dump out an entire can of XS in the bathroom on break when it's full of Ambot ladies. Make sure they hear you grossing out about it.
    5. When asked if I like my job, I always say yes.
    6. I also make it a point to use everything but Artistry in front of the other ladies as well.
    7. Post on FB about products I love that aren't from Amway. I'm friends with our upline btw.

    Am I an awful human being? Meh. Not as awful as these people can be and are. Luckily my husband gets a kick out of me. He may like Amway, but he knows better than to expect me to become brainwashed.

    I'll be keeping this on hand at the conference in DC this weekend. You know, if I show my face in one of the event rooms for more than 5 minutes. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah my soul sister has arrived!

      Love your responses!

      Glad you have a husband who supports you in your disgust for ambots. I'm sure the assholes in his upline are already working hard on him to leave you because nothing gives them more happiness than destroying other people's lives.

      Sucks that you're going to be in DC with the shutdown going on. Practically everything there that's worth seeing is closed. Oh well staying in your hotel room watching TV is more productive than attending an Amway brainwashing conference.

      Delete
  4. #17 is the best out of both lists, IMHO. Truth trumps BS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its kind of like how you choose your favorite beach of the world you walk on.

      Delete
  5. Yah people are satan . yah hate so much on amway .Man I mean coulnt amway be worth trying for some people people wat do u loose? Ur only spending 350 a month dat u need for everyday living. .n yea I no wat u mean about the convention s n seminars but u dont really have to go to those to start ur business those are just for people to get motivated on for first time ibos I mean really guys wtf is wrong with yah ..dont yah have anything better to do dan to talk shit gosh people like yah deserve to get anal raped by a fucking horse .ive lost faith in humanity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. STFU you moron. you don't what the hell you're talking about because you are a sheep that follows whatever they are told by the higher ups. What you go to loose? everything. your time and your money investing into helping those dumbass losers ahead of you to become more richer and you as poorer. $350 every month and you act like you can pull money off from your ass as if heaven granted you prestige Mcdonalds job. You idiots claim that this is your "business" yea right you don't even own these products and sell them off for the corporation you're working for idiot. Calling people satan.. you are delusional GTFO you dick. We should lost faith in humanity is because of people like you sucking amway's dick all day and claiming you have power to be rich in your "dream" if you "work hard". keep sucking it hard and be poorer you imbeciles.

      Delete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.