Wednesday, May 21, 2014

I’m Not Good Enough To Be In Amway


That’s right. I’m not good enough to be in Amway.

 

  1. I’m not good enough at lying to people.
  2. I’m not good enough at sneering at people who refuse to join Amway
  3. I’m not good enough at putting down people who have jobs.
  4. I’m not good enough at telling people they’re losers.
  5. I’m not good enough at telling people if they don’t succeed its because they didn’t try hard enough.
  6. I’m not good enough at brainwashing people.
  7. I’m not good enough at selling Amway’s average products and convincing others their high price reflects an imaginary high quality.
  8. I’m not good enough to convince people Amway tools are optional.
  9. I’m not good enough at pretending this wonderful business opportunity has nothing to do with Amway.
  10. I’m not good enough at pretending business is going great.
  11. I’m not good enough at tricking prospects to come to Amway meetings.
  12. I’m not good enough at pretending Amway is an ethical business.
  13. I’m not good enough at dropping all people out of my life who have nothing to do with Amway.
  14. I’m not good enough to figure out who are all the Amway millionaires that don’t have to work because they have residual income coming in for the rest of their lives.
  15. I’m not good enough at scamming people to join a business with less than a 1% chance of success.
  16. I’m not good enough to be dishonest.
  17. I’m not good enough at pretending the truth is really a negative.
  18. I’m not good enough at pretending Amway food bars taste better than shit.
  19. I’m not good enough at pretending XS Energy Drinks taste better than cat piss.
  20. I’m not good enough at believing I’m actually making lots of money in my Amway business.
  21. I’m not good enough to choose to go into debt to pay homage to the Amway gods.
  22. I’m not good enough to pretend the devastation Amway has brought isn’t affecting my life.
  23. I’m not good enough at putting people down and telling them they’re quitters and will be broke for the rest of their lives.
  24. I’m not good enough lying about how Amway only takes 10 to 15 hours a week.
  25. I’m not good enough telling people they will save money buying from their own Amway store.
  26. I’m not good enough telling people that everything to do with the Amway business is tax deductible.
  27. I’m not good enough at scamming people.
  28. I am not good enough to be in Amway because I have a conscience.
  29. I am not good enough at unnaturally worshipping my upline.
  30. I’m not good enough to believe everything my upline says is the truth.
  31. I am not good enough to pretend I’m a Stepford Wife.
  32. I am not good enough at putting up with bullshit from male chauvinist pigs in the upline.
  33. I’m not good enough to stay up all night listening to a liar when I’d rather be home.
  34. I am not good enough to be in Amway because I have morals.
  35. I’m not good enough to become a brainwashed ambot zombie.

 

 

2 comments:

  1. Hi Anna,

    How about 36. I'm not good enough to be in Amway because I understand mathematics.

    I found this MLM income calculator: http://www.free-online-calculator-use.com/mlm-income-calculator.html
    Comes with very useful notes such as Commission Checks Are NOT Profits and You Will NOT Be a Business Owner.

    Methinks the ambots will spontaneously combust when they see this.

    Best wishes
    ~ Ex Girlfriend of a Herbot

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh that's why I didn't fit in...

    ReplyDelete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.