Thursday, December 22, 2016

The Ambot Who Stole Christmas

Even though it was Christmas time unhappiness existed all over the world because of a horrible evil cult named Amway.

The cult followers were known as ambots and they got together to put up a Christmas tree.

And they put ornaments on it.

They hung mistletoe.

The problem they quickly learned was that no one wanted to kiss an ambot under the mistletoe! Yuck gross!

Poor broke loser Tommy was a nasty Amway cult follower. He used to spend Christmas with his family.

Then last year he made the mistake of putting up an Amway Christmas tree.

He gave his relatives shitty Amway products for Christmas.

Tommy made the fatal mistake of giving his wife Artistry cosmetics for Christmas even though he knew she liked reasonably priced Avon products much better.

He gave his little girl an Amway doll for Christmas.

The Amway products he had so lovingly gone into credit card debt to buy all ended up in the trash.

Except for the Nutrilite vitamins that were flushed down the toilet. THE BEST PLACE FOR SHITTY AMWAY PRODUCTS TO END UP!!!

So poor broke loser Tommy ended up hanging out with ambot buddies at Christmas because his family had left him - just one of the pitfalls of being involved in Amway.

Tommy even met the ambot of his dreams at the cult follower’s Christmas gathering.

All those unoriginal ambots! They all duplicated each other and gave the same Christmas present to everyone else and put it under the ambot Christmas tree.

To show no hard feelings Tommy’s ex-wife even sent along a Christmas present for their Platinum cult leader.

After getting high on XS the ambots put on Santa suits and went to the Amway Center and punched out the snowman.

The police showed up and gave the ambots sobriety tests which they all failed but oddly enough when they blew into the breathalizer no one showed any alcohol levels. Seeing as how the cops don’t like Amway or ambots they decided to toss them all in jail anyway for snowman assault.

And one final warning for anyone thinking of spending Christmas with an ambot.

I hope no one finds any Amway shit under their Christmas tree!

Wishing everyone happy holidays and Merry Christmas!

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Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.