Monday, December 18, 2017

Another Amway Ambot Letter To Santa

Thanks to one of our readers who nailed this one! LOL!

Dear Santa Claus --

I'd like the following ten things, please:

1) A 4000 PV for the next three months.
2) To be "edified" by my up-line in glowing language.
3) Receive free tickets to Dream Night, Family Reunion, and Free Enterprise Day.
4) Latch onto six new hot prospects to become IBOs, and complete my 6-4-2 plan.
5) Be able to afford the expense of the next tidal wave of books, CDs, and tapes from my up-line.
6) To get a replacement for my broken-down, rattletrap Amway Shitmobile.
7) To have enough cash to cover my three late mortgage payments to the bank.
8) To be able to empty out my garage of boxes of unsold SA8 and LOC.
9) To finally convince my family and friends to talk to me again.
10) To actually show a financial profit from my Amway business after these last fifteen years of fruitless work.

If you give me these ten things, Santa, I'll actually believe that you exist. Just like I believe that Amway is a real business, and not an absurd rip-off.


Andrew Airhead Asshole,
Amway Distributor and IBO


  1. OMG! I just discovered this blog. I have been married to an Ambot (new word for me) for 13 years. I went to one weekly meeting and immediately realized it was run by patriarchal,chauvinist men. I gave the speaker my nastiest stink eye the whole time (yes, while sitting next to my husband). We have agreed to disagree about Amway ever since. I have so many questions...

    1. Hi Terri. I'm glad you finally found us! We've been around almost as long as you've been married. Though I'm unclear if your husband was an Ambot when you got married or if Amway is a new unwanted intrusion into your lives. If someone has been in Amway more than 2 years they're likely a lifer and nothing will get them out unless Amway fires them for violating something on their IBO contract. But the if Amway went around firing all the IBO's that violated the terms and conditions - then they're be no one left!

      Yes many times around here we've talked about Amway male chauvinist pigs and the good old boy's club. Nothing ever changes in Scamway.

      As for your questions - start by reading a free ebook called Merchants of Deception. You'll see a link on the right side of this page under more info about Amway. It's a horror story written by a former Emerald about the Amway cult. You'll find the truth about compensation. Here's a guy who had 1000 people in his downline and was making about 30k. Does your husband have that many in his downline? I doubt it.

      Amway is all about financial and emotional distress.

      Also check out the other links like the Dateline undercover op. And the other bloggers listed here. They've all got great insight about the Amway "business opportunity".

      If you're tired of your husband and the fucking assholes in his Amway upline calling you a negative unsupportive unchristian dreamstealing wife - then you've come to the right place! We're all about cursing out those lying scamming Amway bastards. Join in the fun!

  2. Dear Terry --

    In the 13 years that your husband has been in Amway, has he made any profit at all?


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.