Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Top Amway Dreads This Christmas Season (Or Any Time Of The Year)

Consumer Reports listed American’s Top Dreads over the Christmas season:

1. Crowds and long lines: 68 percent
2. Gaining weight: 37 percent
3. Getting into debt: 37 percent
4. Gift shopping: 28 percent
5. Traveling: 25 percent
6. Seeing certain relatives: 24 percent
7. Seasonal music: 23 percent
8. Disappointing gifts: 19 percent
9. Having to attend holiday parties or events: 16 percent
10. Having to be nice: 15 percent
11. Holiday tipping: 12 percent


I looked at that list and realized how it also applies to Amway and the things I dread about Amway.
1.     Crowds - that would be the Amway functions we had to attend. Ambot alert! Brainwashed ambots everywhere! Lining up at the arena doors hours before the function was to begin! Fucking Amway losers!
2.     Weight gain? Hmmm I had a little trouble blaming Amway for this one other than a lot of ambots eat on the run and stop at the drive thru window for fast food because when you’re in Amway and the upline monopolizing all your time and attending Amway events there is no time to shop and prepare decent meals.
3.     Debt - absolutely this will happen in Amway!
4.     Gift giving - yup, having to give away unwanted Amway shit to people you know at Christmas. “Shop from your own store!”
5.     Traveling - gotta bust your ass getting to long distance Amway functions and all the expenses that go along with getting there.
6.     Seeing relatives - you know one big happy Amway family. Amway WWDB Family Reunion sucks! Fuck I hated seeing those Amway “relatives”.
7.     Music - let’s just blame the Goad’s lame ass Amway music.
8.     Disappointing gifts - everything we bought from Amway was disappointing - low quality and high priced.
9.     Attending events - I hated going to Amway meetings, Amway functions, Amway rallies, Amway product launches, etc, etc, etc
10.  Being nice - all those fucking ambots pretending to be nicey nice to everyone when they didn’t really give a shit. I might not have been overly rude to anyone other than our arrogant prick sponsor but I’ve been rude to that fucking asshole for many years but I wasn’t going around being all fakey nicey nice either. I just didn’t like ambots. Liars are not my kind of people.
11.  Tipping - that’s a year round event in Amway and its called buying Amway tools. A big tip goes to the upline when you invest in that scam! Tipping also applies when tithing the Great Amway God.

I followed the pattern of the Consumer Reports list when creating my list. But how do I really feel in the order of these particular Amway dreads? Here it is and yes weight gain comes last because that wasn’t something I personally dreaded when it came to Amway but kept it in because I followed the CORE list. Ha ha! Get it?

Top Amway Christmas dreads in Anna Banana’s order:
1.     Debt
2.     Disappointing gifts (Amway products)
3.     Tipping (the upline)
4.     Attending events
5.     Seeing (Amway) relatives
6.     Being nice
7.     Gift giving (no one wants Amway shit)
8.     Crowds of ambots
9.     Traveling
10.  Music
11.  Weight gain

Those are actually Amway year round dreads but I’m keeping with the holiday season!

And one of our readers wants us to throw in the biggest Amway dread of them all: Listening to Amway bullshit!

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