Monday, June 18, 2018

Amway Loser Desperate To Retrieve Puny Check

Check out this video. I’ll help out with the translation and keeping the cast of characters straight.

Comrade 1 – the man with his hand in the fish mouth

Comrade 2 – the man trying to help him get his hand out

Comrade 3 – filming the action and finds a stick to help

Comrade 4 – Comrade 1’s Amway upline


Comrade 1: Help!

Comrade 2: How did you get your hand stuck in that fish’s mouth?

Comrade 1: This fish ate my Amway check  and I’m trying to get it back.

Comrade 2: How much is that check for?

Comrade 1: $9.18

Comrade 2: Holy shit! After all those long hours you spend being a commissioned Amway salesman you only made $9.18. Christ! Just let that fish eat the fucking check. It’s not worth losing your hand over.

Comrade 1: Don’t say negative!

Comrade 2: Here’s a stick. I’ll see if I can pry open the fish’s mouth with it.

Comrade 1: No! Not that stick! I bought it from Amway for $100!

Comrade 2: Are you fucked in the head? You spend $100 for this shitty little stick? I can go to the hardware store and buy a stick just like this out of their junk pile for .50¢.

Comrade 1: Aren’t you willing to pay more money for higher quality?

Comrade 2: No! Why do you want to pay more money for something you can buy at the store that costs way less money.

Comrade 3: Oh for fuck’s sake. Just use this stick I picked up off the ground.

Comrade 2: That free stick is better quality than your $100 stick. I can’t believe you spent that much money buying a stick. How much money did you spend on Amway products this month?

Comrade 1: Around $300.

Comrade 2: Are you a fucking moron? You can get a job selling fish at the market and make more money than that. When I get your hand out of this fish I’m taking it to the market and I’m going to sell it for $20 so I’ll make more money for a few minutes work than you make in Amway after putting in a hundred hours of work.

Comrade 3: Yeah, who’s making more money with less effort.

Comrade 1: Shut up. Here comes my upline. Oh hallowed, beloved leader of mine. This fish ate my Amway check. This fish is a negative unchristian dreamstealer.

Comrade 4: You didn’t ask my permission if you could put your hand in this fish’s mouth and get that check back.

Comrade 2: What?!!! You’ve got to ask your Amway upline’s permission before you do anything! What kind of cult did you get yourself into? OK that should do it. Pull your hand out.

Comrade 1: Not without my Amway check.

Comrade 2: Just let the fish eat it.

Fish: This Amway check tastes like shit!


  1. General Anna Banana,

    That was hilarious satire about the "Ambot" very sad cult as humor in the end will wake up many as the war continues...

    My pal is still in from way back in '78 and maybe he will see this and wake the fuck up!


    1. LOL KMB! I believe Ambots are ordered not to visit websites like this. Very bad disobedient Amway Ambots come here!

  2. Your friend has been in Amway since 1978? That's FORTY FUCKING YEARS!

    Tell me he's a Crown Diamond Ambassador or something.

    1. Anonymous - he's just another schmuck who can't quit now because success is just around the corner.

  3. Yes anon it's true as far as I know he is still in!

    The only crown that I know he has would be on his teeth!

    Course a decade back he demonized me for losing my dream and working for the Feds!

    Yes it's war against Amway as Anna is our General and she is gathering the troops to shut that abomination down as I publicly shame members of our Federal family who refuse to take action against this insidious corporation!

    Yes they have become that powerful in America as they even control a private army!

    Well, now I went ahead and blew a gasket!

    I can't even muster up a proper "F" bomb to hurl against these mother fuckers!



Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.