When we were in Amway the assholes in our upline told us
that now we were “business owners” to figure out a business name to call the
company. To hell with going through any proper measures to legally register the
business name just in case someone else has already legally registered it. Just
choose a name and use it. And then because you “own your own business” you can
give yourself any title that you choose.
Then the ambots are told to make up business cards to pass out to potential
prospects and customers so they’d run out and buy business card sheets so they
could make up their own cards on their computer. Mostly ambots passed out these
business cards among themselves because nobody else wanted them and they would
all ooohhh and aaaahhhh with all the fakey nicey nice over the top compliments.
I saw more fucked up pieces of shitty pretend businesses on these cards than
you could imagine.
Like any nightmare I don’t remember any phony ass business names that ambots
chose for their phony business but some of the titles I remember. And the
business cards looked like shit. The home made jobs where you use some clip art
program on your computer to put a beach or mansion or sports car or sacks of
money on the business card. I don’t remember anyone using Amway logo but I do
remember some of them using pictures of Amway products which is probably a
violation of Amway’s policy but ambots don’t give a flying fuck about those
kind of details.
So I’d get passed these business cards that would read something like:
My Fucked Up Phony Ass Amway Business
Asshole Ambot
President and CEO of Bullshit
The titles were all over the place: president, CEO, manager, vice president of
operations – those vice president titles would be on the wife’s business cards!
That’s how it is in Amway. The wives are always second. Oh what the fuck am I
thinking! Wives are way further down than second!
That’s part of running a phony business with a phony business name. You can
give yourself a phony business title to make you look all big and important.
What are better titles that should be on Amway Ambot business cards? Or at
least more honest titles:
Fucking Asshole
Liar
Scammer
Sack Of Shit
Dumb Fuck
Phony Bastard
Loser
Troublemaking Bastard
Head Bullshitter
Miserable Son Of a Bitch
Ass Kisser
Dreamstealer
Negative Bastard
Angry Piece of Shit
Sneering Snide Son of A Bitch
These ambots sit around at work all day dreaming of how rich they’re going to
be thanks to Amway and how they own their own business and how that makes them
better than everyone else they work with and they got the business cards to
prove it.
Putting on a business suit, pretending how busy you are on your cell phone, and
playing 8pm warrior going to Amway meetings, and passing out phony ass business
cards with fake names and titles does not make you a real business owner.
In the 1970s, it was a strict rule in Amway that you could not produce your own personal business cards for distribution. People who did so were punished. You had to use the general Amway cards that you got from your up-line. You were allowed to write or stamp your name and address on the back of each card.
ReplyDeleteThe policy changed purely as a way to make the Amway scam sweeter. Up-line knew that everyone wanted to think of himself as a big shot, in charge of his own "business." So they allowed IBOs to design and print up their own cards, and give their business a special name and themselves a special title. That's when you started to see all the stupid fake business cards with the words "Excellence Enterprises" or "Products Distribution Center," followed by the name of the Ambot:
Andrew Airhead Asshole, C.E.O.
Josiah Jerkoff, General Manager
Fred Fraudster, President
Larry Loudmouth, Senior Distributing Agent
About the same time, they stopped calling members "Amway distributors," and gave them the absolutely absurd title of "Independent Business Owner." That was just as plausible as calling the janitor at Macy's a "Member of the Macy's Management Board."
Everything in Amway is fakery, pretension, and thinking that you are something you are not.
Hi Anonymous - thanks for that flashback! I'm surprised Amway stopped mass producing those blank business cards because that's just another way for Amway's owners to make more money off the suckers in their cult!
DeleteLOL on Amway and the "Independent Business Owner" because very few if any IBO's actually go through any of the actions that real business owners go through when starting up - like registering and paying for a real business name. But when you're playing games of pretend business owner that cash outlay isn't necessary.
Sign up to Amway and play pretend business owner with your fake business and print up your own business cards as proof that you're a hot shot business owner LOL!