One time we ran the Amway Ambot Chuckle post one of our readers kept going with it! Excellent dialogue! LOL!
Prospect: If I sign up in Amway, why do I need an obsolete
and useless system called CommuniKate?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You need a secretary, don't you? You need an answering
service, don't you? You need somebody to give you important messages, don't
you? HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: But those things are handled by real living persons or simple
voicemail. CommuniKate isn't a real person at all -- it's just an obsolete way
to get messages.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You gotta fake it till you make it. People will think that
you have a girl named Kate who is your secretary. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: Why must I attend expensive and far-off functions that don't teach me
anything, and are just elaborate pep-talks?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You never know what little piece of important info you
might happen to hear at a function. You wouldn't want to miss out on that,
would you? HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: Why can't you people just include the important info on the endless
tools that you want to sell me?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. There's endless information to be learned in Amway. It'll
take years and years for you to master it. That's why you gotta come to all
functions, and buy all tools. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: I don't want to be forced to attend a religious service if I go to an
Amway function.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. What are you, some kind of unChristian dream-stealer? HUA
HUA HUA.
Prospect: No, I just prefer to make my own choices in religious matters.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. If you join Amway, you then have a new religion. It's THE
GREAT AMWAY GOD! Your job involves worshipping this God day and night. HUA HUA
HUA.
Prospect: So you admit that you are part of a cult, and not an actual business.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. We have our ways of doing things, like everybody else. HUA
HUA HUA.
Prospect: You mean like fucking people over by putting them into debt and
foreclosure, wrecking their marriages and friendships, making them waste years
in a worthless fake business, filling their garages and basements with cheap
unsellable products, and then saying that their failure to succeed is totally
their own fault?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA! HUA HUA HUA!
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Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!
If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.