Married to an Ambot: The DeVos and Van Andel Carol

Thursday, December 4, 2025

The DeVos and Van Andel Carol

I’m always happy when our readers come up with some festive songs for this time of year. LOL – enjoy!

Dear Anna --

I’ve composed another Amway Christmas carol for you.

The DeVos and Van Andel Carol

(sing to the tune of “We Three Kings of Orient Are”)

We two jerks from Michigan are,
Selling overpriced crap from a car --
Soap suds, lotions,
Cleansers and potions,
And Nutrilite pills from afar.

We two jerks brought Amway to birth,
Insanely trying to swallow the earth,
Pushing people, herding sheeple --
We sheared then for all that they’re worth.

We two jerks made millions of bucks,
Recruiting thousands of losers and schmucks --
We were lying,
They were buying --
All were a bunch of dumb schmucks,

DeVos and Van Andel, what a pair!
All their lies are barren and bare --
They recruit you,
Then they boot you
Out when you no longer care!

2 comments:

AnonymousDecember 5, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Anna, I wrote this one just for you. Merry Christmas!

(Sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells") --

Amway bells, Amway bells,
Amway all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a jam-packed Amway sleigh!

Amway bells, Amway bells,
Amway all the way!
My sleigh is filled with Amway shit
To make my down-line pay!

Dashing through the snow,
In a sleigh that's filled with junk --
My down-line doesn't know
That it's all a load of bunk!

I just push this crap
So that I can get a cut
Of the money that they lose as Amway kicks their butt!

Amway bells, Amway bells,
Amway all the way!
This MLM has made me rich
In my junk-packed Amway sleigh!
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Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
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