Rudolph The Half-Assed Platinum

Thanks to one of our readers for providing a new Amway Christmas favorite! LOL! I’d recommend not to be drinking any eggnog while you’re reading this or your computer will end up wearing it. LOL!

Here's a holiday carol for Amway. Sing it to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

RUDOLPH THE HALF-ASSED PLATINUM

Rudolph the half-assed Platinum
Had a very big red nose,
And if you ever saw it
You'd say it was a blooming rose.

All of his higher up-line
Thought that he was drunk or nuts--
They never let poor Rudolph
Screw any of the down-line sluts.

Then one foggy winter night
A Diamond came to say
"Rudolph with your big red nose,
Could you recruit new IBOs?"

Rudolph then went out sniffing
But he didn't have no luck--
As soon as mentioned "Amway"
People knew he was a schmuck.

All of them said "Hey Rudolph--
There aren't any suckers here.
Why don't you take your red nose
And stick it in your Diamond's rear?"

Rudolph called up his Diamond
And said "I can't recruit down-line.
What if I come right over
And slip my nose in your behind?"

The Diamond said "Well, dear Rudolph,
It's not what we do normally.
But if it goes at least six inches,
I'll double your next month's PV."

Rudolph's a success in Amway.
His up-line has a great big smile--
Rudolph's nose is somewhat browner,
But that's a brand-new Amway style.