Tuesday, December 8, 2020

The 12 Days Of (Amway) Christmas

 Thanks to one of our readers! I was hoping they were going to do all 12 Days of Christmas – Amway style! But they either lost interest or inspiration after 8 days! LOL! Any takers to finish it off better? I had to come up with days 9 through 12 and I ain’t no lyricist.

And then one of our readers to the rescue last year. Or rescued line 12 and came up with something better than cooking the upline’s turkey!

And then I thought it looks like I left it there hanging. So the instructions are when you get to the twelfth day – start singing it backwards!

Your Amway upline will NEVER be your true love by the way! LOL!

 

On the first day of Christmas, my upline gave to me: Some products that were really shit-TY..

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my upline gave to me: more unhealthy brainwashing and mind spanking for me!!

On the third day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: a tin pot in which I could pee.

On the fourth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: some bullshit from Ki -o - sak - EE.

On the fifth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: a carton of old L.O.C.

On the sixth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: some crap cosmetics named Ar-tis-TREE.

On the seventh day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: an order to attend F.E.D!

On the eighth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: a lecture on my lousy PV.

On the ninth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: a 2 hour rant that I’m a no-body.

On the tenth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: a fairy tale that I’m a fran-chi-see.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: lies that Amway returns are hassle-free.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my up-line gave to me: A total lie about his mon-EY.….

 

 

6 comments:

  1. On the ninth day of Christmas, my up-line gave to me: six commands and one desperate plea.

    On the tenth day of Christmas, my up-line gave to me: A face-slap and a kick in my knee.

    On the eleventh day of Christmas, my up-line gave to me: Advice to quit my job and "be free."

    On the twelfth day of Christmas, my up-line gave to me: Nothing but unending miser-EE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL - those are all good ones Anonymous. We might need to change the title next year to the 16 days of Christmas!

      Delete
  2. 45 years ago I threw all so call marketing materials @ the time; along with tons of product in the dumpster.
    Smartest thing I ever did!
    Since started up (2) small businesses by myself; no upline help! No help @ all.
    Made millions; selling quantity products @ competitive prices.
    Not selling a dream!
    Best of all I enjoyed every minute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Unknown. Yup smartest thing to do is throw all Amway shit including marketing tools into the dumpster!

      Yes - the secret to running a successful business is to sell products or a service that people actually want to buy at a competitive price!

      Maybe it's not your dream but it affords you a nice lifestyle and its not a scam so that's the way to go! Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
  3. Here's a song for an Amway Christmas:

    (sing to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

    Up-line screaming by an open fire,
    Platinums getting in your face--
    Stupid Goads warbling songs like a choir
    And Amway "tools" piled everyplace...

    Everybody knows some L.O.C. and Nutrilite
    Will be the presents that you'll get--
    Nothing but crap that your up-line can't sell,
    And stuff that puts you into debt.

    There's always bullshit, and not mistletoe,
    When Amway Christmas is in sight.
    IBOs, with their eyes all aglow,
    Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

    They know a Diamond's on his way--
    He's bringing lots of Amway junk upon his sleigh,
    And he's gonna tell a lot of lies
    About how "winners" all get a big prize.

    And so I'm offering this simple phrase
    To IBOs who've lost a lot of bucks:
    Though it's been said, many times, many ways,
    Amway Christmas just sucks.

    (apologies to Mel Torme)



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Anonymous! Better not be drinking egg nog while reading that or you'll be spitting it all over your computer monitor! LOL! Thanks for another Amway Christmas gem. We'll add this to next year's rotation. Thanks1

      Delete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
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4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
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