Thursday, February 17, 2022

Amway Is A Shitty Experience

Thanks to Matty for sharing his Amway story!

Matty here. Although I haven't "caught up" yet (I'm reading this blog from beginning to end), I just can't wait to participate any longer! So here's my first Amway story

A little background, first: in 1999, I was managing a little store at the Riverchase Galleria in Birmingham, Alabama. The "store" (it was actually more of a walk-in kiosk) was called "Successories". (If you worked in any corporate environment in the 90s, you probably saw some of the products on the walls: A nice picture with some "Motivational" bullshit quote below - I think the company still exists, but I don't think they have any stores anymore - I was 25 at the time).

Anyway, in '99, I was plotting to buy the store I managed. (We were the smallest store in our franchise, and our owner was based in St. Louis and had stores in Missouri and Kansas and ours was VERY far away, so our franchise owner was willing to sell). Now, due the very nature of the product I was selling, plus the fact that the store was in the middle of mall, I found myself engaged in conversations with passers-by on an almost daily basis - "Gee, it must be hard to NOT stay positive surrounded by all THIS stuff" is what I heard most commonly. And, believe it or not, I made some friends and even some contacts just from chatting with people. (In fact, the franchise owner wanted to sell to me for $150,000 and just through meeting people this way, I'd already put together $60,000 towards my ambition to buy the store)...and then THEY came.

One night, this *seemingly* very nice couple showed up and struck up a conversation. (Again, this was NOT unusual). I honestly can't remember what we chatted about, but I'm POSITIVE I talked about trying to buy the store. At one point, the lady said, "We help people start their own business". This got me VERY excited, as I thought, "THESE just might be the people that put me 'over the top'!" So I agreed to meet with them at their house the following week. (Once again, this was NOT unusual for me - I had already raised some $$ in the same manner). So enough of "background",!

So I go to their house with GREAT anticipation. I arrive and we all sit down at their dining-room table to talk. They offered me a choice of cranberry juice or something else I can't recall (this was almost 20 years ago, after all), so I opted for the cranberry. As the lady brought my glass to me, she informed me (with WAAAY too much excitement) that, "We get this from our business!"

Now, I WISH I could say that this was the 1st Red Flag, but I was so anxious to buy this stupid store that I just thought, "Well, maybe they're Importer/Exporters like Art Vandalay from 'Seinfeld'" (Again, I was 25, and 25-year-old guys are morons).

Anyway, I honestly don't remember what we talked about, but I DO know that I was there for a solid two hours! Right around the 1:15 mark, he started drawing circles. Those GOD DAMN CIRCLES! "And the 'umbrella' Company at HEART of this...is...AMWAY!", he said. My heart SANK. Even though it was a long time ago, this I DO recall: the WAY he said "Amway" was especially nauseating. It was part flourish/ part "1984" when Winston Smith flashed a look of optimism/admiration/glee when Big Brother was mentioned (HOW FITTING!).

Before I get to the FUNNY (just stick around, it's gonna get FUNNY) I'll go to the ANGER: These assholes KNEW - they fucking KNEW - that my ONLY desire was to buy the store I was managing - they KNEW IT - because that is PRECISELY what I told them when I met them in the mall! AND THEY DIDN'T CARE! ASSHOLES! SCAM ARTISTS!!!!

Now for the funny part: Now I know I've gone into FAR more detail than is needed, but I thought it was necessary, lest someone try to say that it's not true. I ASSURE you everything I have said, and am about to say, is 100% TRUE: As I said, about 1:15 into this "meeting", he drew the damn circles, so I IMMEDIATELY started plotting my escape. So I explained that my ambitions were to buy the store I was managing and wasn't interested in anything else. So, of course, I had to "mentally spar" with him for a good 45 minutes while trying to get out of there.

Well, for about the last 30 minutes I was there, I began feeling a...disturbance in my stomach. I HAD to get out of there, because something very, VERY bad was going to happen, very, VERY soon. And as much as I disliked these people at this point, I am EXTREMELY shy about causing ARMAGEDDON in some strangers' bathroom. So I got the hell out, and began heading home. Now, right down the street from their house was a Circle K - BUT - I have a TERRIBLE fear of gas station restrooms - so I thought I'd try to make it home (I lived about 30 minutes away). So I passed.
WELL, in order to get home, I had to take I-459. And then it started to rain. And I mean, the kind of rain that would provoke people into building goddamn ARKS. Just to give you an idea how hard the rain was: any normal day, if you are on I-459 in Birmingham, if you are not travelling at LEAST 75 mph, your ass WILL get run over. That night, I was going 35. I could hardly see, it was raining so hard. And as I'm poking down I-459, well, the only way I can describe the pain in my stomach is this: it felt like a giant hand was grasping my stomach as HARD AS IT COULD for a couple minutes, and then let go. RELIEF! And then the pain would return for a couple minutes. And then go away...It went on like this until I reached my exit off the interstate - and there's a gas station - CLOSED! So I continue on, with The Pain coming and receding, coming and receding.

I FINALLY reach the gas station at the corner of my street - CLOSED! But I'm close enough I can make it home. By now, I should mention, the PAIN is SO BAD that I'm screaming when it comes, and *heavily* sighing when it recedes, AND sweating like Patrick Ewing during a playoff game. I FINALLY make it home. I park the car. The PAIN comes again. It goes away - I'm in the CLEAR!...and then I get out of the car and stand up...EXPLOSION. A combination of Nagasaki and Niagara Falls - and I didn't give a damn. The RELIEF was SO GREAT that I just didn't give a damn...I ended up just taking my pants off and leaving them in the pouring rain and went inside...So that was my first experience with Amway - shitting myself in the middle of a deluge.

I STILL blame it on the cranberry juice.

--Matty



6 comments:

  1. These two scumbags who tried to recruit Matty through lies and deception knew one thing: that he was collecting considerable funds to buy the store he wanted. And they were salivating at the thought that they might convince him to use the money instead to get into the Amway racket.

    In short, they wanted to destroy Matty's dream, and suck the money out of him to support their dream.

    This story tells you everything you need to know about what utter vermin these Amway freaks are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous - that's the thing with thieving scamming Amway Ambots. If they find someone who has money saved up - they want to steal it.

      This is why it's so important to get the word out about disreputable villains in the Amway cult. By the time people realize Amway is a scam, it's too late and they've lost money and brain cells.

      The biggest dreamstealers I've ever met have all been Amway Ambots. Nothing brings those evil Amway bastards more happiness than destroying other people's lives.

      Delete
  2. Awesome story.

    You made me think of something. I remember one night during "training" after a way too long weekly Business Briefing that cost me $5 to enter and additional money for gas, that my Upline Emerald was mocking and putting down people who were asking questions when they were contacted.

    He mentioned that he and/or his wife were out "making friends" and would run into someone that is "sharp" and then that person would start asking questions about what type of "business" opportunity this was. My Upline Emerald (in the URA AMO by the way) would then talk about how these were selfish people because they asked questions and they were "in it for themselves" because they wanted "all this proprietary information."

    Such BS. If Amway was so f'ing great, everyone would be doing it, right?

    He went on to say that with these people, he would stop the conversation right there and tell the person he contacted that the person was "obviously not ready" and should contact him when they are interested in "getting more information" and just walk away.

    What an arrogant prick. So not only is the name of the AMO so intentionally analogous to deceive people, and the information on their website is vague (URAssociaton.info), and you're too scared to bring up Amway at the top of the conversation, but the very people they've spent hours a day stalking and harassing are deemed selfish when they ask questions to want to know what type of business opportunity they may be signing up for.

    This right here folks. If this deters one person from joining, then I've done my job. It's not worth it.

    Also, a word to the wise. If you go to a mall or work in a mall, be on the lookout for these people. They are everywhere and they genuinely don't care about you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous - smart people do their research if they're making an expensive purchase, planning a vacation, investing in the stock market, or entering a business venture.

      And part of that is asking questions.

      To be CORE in Amway it costs around $500 to $700 a month. More when a major Amway cult meeting is planned like Family Reunion, Spring Leadership or FED. To many people that's a significant monthly investment. And not to ask questions or research the likelihood of not losing your investment and hopefully making a profit is sheer stupidity.

      And you notice how Amway cult leaders dangle carrots to entice the prospect by saying you're not ready or I don't think this business is for you or you don't have what it takes. Many people see that as a challenge. Why not me? Who says I can't do this?

      The smart thing is to walk away whenever an Amway loser insults you that you're not ready to be a business owner.

      Yup Amway losers are stalking prospects everywhere. I'm suspicious whenever a random person says something to me in the grocery store. Like which of these brands do you recommend. You never know when its an Amway Ambot about to hit you up with a sales pitch.

      Delete
  3. If you are propositioned about a business opportunity, and the person trying to recruit you immediately insults you when you ask simple questions about what the opportunity involves, then right away you can make the following conclusion:

    The guy doesn't want to tell you what it's all about, and that's because it is a scam, and because he's looking for stupid people who don't think clearly. He also wants to get you to come to a meeting, where intellectual discussion is drowned out with mindless, rah-rah enthusiasm.

    Persons who ask probing questions about a business proposition are intelligent and perceptive. That scares Amway freaks, because they need to leech onto people who are trusting, silly, immature, and unthinking. Only stupid people like that will spend $300 per month to get a ten-buck refund check.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anonymous. That’s all very good advice. As you pointed out anyone who is cagey or secretive about a business opportunity it’s probably a scam.

      Amway losers seem to think sneers and insults are the secret to good customer service and building team moral.

      Delete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
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