The Amway Ambot Clunker Brigade

Part of the bullshit taught at our Amway meetings was “fake it till you make it”. And always lie. All good little IBO’s must lie about how good business is going even when they’re losing hundreds of dollars each month. If they tell the truth they’d never recruit anyone.

IBO’s were also taught to look the part of successful business men and women. This meant putting on business suits, owning a cell phone with texting capabilities, attending all meetings, and driving high end cars to give off the appearance of a successful business person.

I’ve never been much of a car person. I like safe, reliable cars that don’t break down. Good gas mileage is something else I look for when buying a car. High end or low end, makes no difference to me. I’m no snob. 

In our group IBO’s were told to drive upper end cars like Cadillacs, Jaguars, and BMW’s. And most IBO’s did buy them - vintage 1970’s and 1980’s rust buckets. Cars that broke down all the time but what else do you expect from cars that have over 300,000 miles on them and probably only got regular engine maintenance for the first few years when they were owned by people who could afford them brand new and kept them in good shape.

I never saw so many junker cars than what our upline were driving. When there was a board plan at someone’s house the street would be littered with these old heaps so we knew we were getting close to our destination.

But that was what IBO’s were brainwashed into buying by our sack of shit Platinum. He even insulted some people’s cars and called them “pimpmobiles” though they looked OK to me, just weren’t the “successful image” the bastard wanted the IBO to portray. The sack of shit Platinum wanted me to sell my newer model Toyota and buy an old BMW so we could say we owned one. I had zero interest in buying an older car that would probably cost me a lot in maintenance. I’d bought my car 3 months before Ambot signed up again with Amway and it took me awhile to find it and I was happy with it so I was NOT going to spend more time looking for another car so soon. At least I own a reliable car manufactured in this century. That’s more than the rest of you Amway assholes can say! The sack of shit was especially annoyed one day when he looked in my car and saw we were carrying business supplies in there - our business that is, nothing to do with Amway. He told Ambot that my car was supposed to only be used for transporting people and Amway tools and products. I told Ambot to give him a message from me: “Tough shit.”

Somehow I doubt that message got passed along!

Amway meetings must have brought down the neighborhood’s house values with all the clunkers parked down the street thanks to the army of Amway warriors driving to business meetings in their IBO specials like Lincoln Town Cars and BMWs with leaky sunroofs and bumpers held on with string and duct tape. IBO’s would carefully get out of their cars hoping the door with the rusty hinges wouldn’t fall into the street.

Driving a Beamer or Caddy that’s seen better days, dressed in a business suit, and clutching a cell phone doesn’t make a person a sharp, successful businessman no matter what fake image they are using to impress others. No matter what the sack of shit Platinum tells you it makes you look even worse driving an ugly gas guzzler that has a good chance of not starting when you turn the key in the ignition.

Yup living their fairy tale lives in the Amway land of make belief. A clunker of a high end car, the latest cell phone with huge monthly fees, and a business suit. Bunch of immature fools marching off to the latest Amway business meeting, ready to listen to more fairy tales and play “fake it till you make it” in a phoney business venture.