Check out this video. I’ll help out with the translation and keeping the cast of characters straight.
Comrade 1 – the man with his hand in the fish mouth
Comrade 2 – the man trying to help him get his hand out
Comrade 3 – filming the action and finds a stick to help
Comrade 4 – Comrade 1’s Amway upline
Comrade 1: Help!
Comrade 2: How did you get your hand stuck in that fish’s mouth?
Comrade 1: This fish ate my Amway check and I’m trying to get it back.
Comrade 2: How much is that check for?
Comrade 1: $9.18
Comrade 2: Holy shit! After all those long hours you spend being a commissioned
Amway salesman you only made $9.18. Christ! Just let that fish eat the fucking
check. It’s not worth losing your hand over.
Comrade 1: Don’t say negative!
Comrade 2: Here’s a stick. I’ll see if I can pry open the fish’s mouth with it.
Comrade 1: No! Not that stick! I bought it from Amway for $100!
Comrade 2: Are you fucked in the head? You spend $100 for this shitty little
stick? I can go to the hardware store and buy a stick just like this out of
their junk pile for .50¢.
Comrade 1: Aren’t you willing to pay more money for higher quality?
Comrade 2: No! Why do you want to pay more money for something you can buy at
the store that costs way less money.
Comrade 3: Oh for fuck’s sake. Just use this stick I picked up off the ground.
Comrade 2: That free stick is better quality than your $100 stick. I can’t
believe you spent that much money buying a stick. How much money did you spend
on Amway products this month?
Comrade 1: Around $300.
Comrade 2: Are you a fucking moron? You can get a job selling fish at the
market and make more money than that. When I get your hand out of this fish I’m
taking it to the market and I’m going to sell it for $20 so I’ll make more
money for a few minutes work than you make in Amway after putting in a hundred
hours of work.
Comrade 3: Yeah, who’s making more money with less effort.
Comrade 1: Shut up. Here comes my upline. Oh hallowed, beloved leader of mine.
This fish ate my Amway check. This fish is a negative unchristian dreamstealer.
Comrade 4: You didn’t ask my permission if you could put your hand in this
fish’s mouth and get that check back.
Comrade 2: What?!!! You’ve got to ask your Amway upline’s permission before you
do anything! What kind of cult did you get yourself into? OK that should do it.
Pull your hand out.
Comrade 1: Not without my Amway check.
Comrade 2: Just let the fish eat it.
Fish: This Amway check tastes like shit!
This whole skit is hysterically funny, and also right on target. You make a lousy ten bucks a month in the Amway racket, and yet you are compelled to praise it to the skies, kiss your up-line's ass, and never listen to sensible criticism of what you are doing. And you have to say that you like it!
ReplyDeleteThat's not a business. That's like sex-slavery to a whip-wielding dominatrix.
Thank you Anonymous. You summed up perfectly what life as an Amway Ambot is all about. We can’t say it enough times. If your last name ain’t Van Andel or De Vos then you do not own an Amway business. You are a slave to the fucking assholes in your Amway upline and you pay big bucks to be abused financially and emotionally.
DeleteNot directly connected with your post but I attended a networking function (not Amway related) last week. I was expecting the usual collection of hopefuls and deluded people with their business ideas touting their services to each other. As I am also one of these this is not surprising at all. Everybody wants to make connections to help with their legitimate business ideas either in finding customers, people to help solve their problems. There is no guarantee or expectation that any of these ideas or businesses will ever succeed or make any money. You attend on that basis. I spoke to a few people and connected with one or two.
ReplyDeleteI then met a guy who started talking about his "business". He had worked at a company that I worked at years ago. I went through the normal discussion that you go through at these events. His speech started to seem suspiciously like Amway though. Finally I asked him outright whether it was Amway and to my surprise he admitted it was. I told him it was definitely not for me. He asked me why. I said that the mathematics make it impossible. He insisted that he was doing it as a side hustle and when I said I was not interested, told me that he had a job as a lawyer making $300,000 a year. Admittedly that is not as impressive when converted to US dollars but still a fabulous salary here in Melbourne. I could see it was a pointless discussion and walked away from him. I went to the organisers and complained about the fact that an MLM con artist was coming to a business networking event and talking his nonsensical pitch. I hope they take it on board because I certainly don't want to be pitched on MLM rubbish at a business networking event.
What I was most surprised by is that this still is a thing twenty five years or more after the last time I was approached by an Amway fraudster. Do they really think this will work in a mature market like Australia where everybody knows exactly how poisonous this brand is? What is the conversion rate at a business networking event? I mean you attend these things hoping for a good outcome but knowing that most people's ideas are, with the best of intentions, almost certain to fail. Business is hard for the best of us and the most honest of us.
I checked the guy's profile on LinkedIn. He does not have a position listed either currently or in the past as a lawyer. If I was on $300K, the last place I would be on a Friday night is at a business networking event. I wonder whether he will still be doing this Amway stuff in 12 months but on the day he sounded like he was a true believer and had drunk the kool-aid.
Hi Aussie Cowboy. Thanks for stopping by to share your experiences. The more times that we can get the word out about the sneaky practises that Amway Ambots use then we can help stop others from getting sucked inside the Amway cult.
DeleteLegitimate business networking functions are prime hunting grounds for Amway Ambots. At some Amway meetings the Amway cult leader will suggest doing that. And yes, it’s very annoying for legitimate business owners who want to make connections maybe find suppliers or vendors and then they get hounded by some Amway loser.
Amway Ambots Are the biggest liars around so it’s my guess that guy was not a real lawyer. There is Amway University and Ambots do the online classes. Then they go around telling people they are doctors or lawyers. Who knew you could save all that money paying medical school tuition and just go to Amway University instead LOL! Yup Dr.Ambot Quack is in the house.
In the various Amway subsystems or AMOs, members are taught that lying to a prospective recruit is perfectly OK, as long as you get him to sign up. This is part of the "Fake it till you make it" policy.
DeleteA lawyer making $300,000 per year is not going to stoop to the absurdity of joining a dipshit racket like Amway! The guy was lying through his teeth.