Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Turn Off Your Cell Phones!

At every Amway board plan meeting I attended, the person who lived there stood up to introduce the pompous sack of shit Platinum. Seeing as how it was pretty much always the same group of about 10 or 12 people and we all knew who he was - why bother? He could have just stepped into the room and started talking. But instead he wants to be introduced like he’s some big rock star.

Meetings started at 8pm (if they started on time that is) and before the Platinum started  the brainwashing session the person introducing him would ask everyone to turn off their cell phones. Pretty much everyone dutifully complied.

Yeah you guessed it. I was the rogue stand out. Most people I know don’t phone that late at night - and here I’m talking after 9 - unless there is an emergency. If there is an emergency I want to be reachable. To hell with the sack of shit Platinum.

Sadly, my phone never rang once at any Amway meetings I attended. Likely due to most people who phone me its usually earlier in the day and most people call me on the house phone not my cell. I rarely give out my cell number.

One night we’re sitting in a living room and there's a fair amount of people there, maybe 30 or 40. Ambot wasn’t sitting with me. He was standing in the back of the room. This particular home had comfy living room furniture. I was in an easy chair or couch, don’t really recall, and I was sinking into it enjoying how soft it was. The Platinum was boring me with the same old same old and I’d closed my eyes and was hoping to fall asleep but unfortunately I didn’t.

Later on Ambot told me that the “sharp businessmen” he was standing with in the back of the living room had noticed and asked him if I was falling asleep to which he agreed it sure looked like it. They were really pissed off that I was being bored to sleep by their amazing Platinum. Ambot tipped them off that my cell phone likely hadn’t been turned off and they thought it might be fun to phone me and that I’d be embarrassed by the phone ringing in the middle of the sack of shit's brainwashing session. I think Ambot convinced them that I wouldn’t be embarrassed if my phone rang. In fact I might not hear it. I mean I’d hear it but I wouldn’t associate it with it with my phone ringing. I would just think someone else had the same ring tone as I have.

What really bugged the shit out of me was that Ambot gave my cell phone number WITHOUT MY PERMISSION to the asshole sponsor and a couple of other people in our upline I don’t recall who. I don’t want any of these bastards knowing my phone number or phoning me. I can only hope they’ve all deleted me out of their contacts. None of them were ever in my contact list.

I just dare that arrogant prick that sponsored us to ever phone me. I'll give him shit supreme like he's never heard before!

Don’t phone me and I won’t phone you.

39 comments:

  1. I've been been to a lot of non-Amway meetings where they request you turn your phone off or put it on vibrate. It makes sense to me. I still don't understand why you were at the meeting in the first place.

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  2. Gads, Anna, you gotta post a warning or something. I almost spit out my coffee.

    I rarely carried a cell phone to meetings.

    I wish someone's phone had rung; anything to break up the snooze fest of a plan.

    It used to burn me to no end that we had to sit there like dutiful lumps of coal (plan after plan after plan after mind-numbing plan) making adoring eyes at the plan-shower like it was the first time we had ever heard such wonderfulness. *sigh*

    You guessed it. I needed another CASSETTE TAPE to give me an attitude adjustment.

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  3. Lobotomized for AmwayJanuary 18, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    Really want to piss off your upline... text/email during their sermon. Better yet, have a really good reason to be doing so, like solving world hunger, or brokering peace in the middle east. Always worked for me.

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  4. Tex I've been to movies and on airplanes where you're told to turn off your cell phone but who cares about non-Amway stuff when the point of the post was to curse out my Amway upline.

    Ambot was still dragging me out to Amway meetings. You don't really think I went voluntarily? I went mainly to show my disdain and disgust to the other IBO's over what I thought of the Amway bullshit. This was either the last or one of the last meetings I attended. After the Platinum sack of shit stuck his nose into something that was none of his business I refused to have anything more to do with him.

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  5. Anonymous - glad you're enjoying the comedy?!

    I never batted adoring eyes at the plan shower - usually the Platinum. Mostly I shot eye daggers and managed to look bored and disgusted the whole time. If I don't like someone I don't come off as a phoney and pretend to like them. I'm sure there was no doubt in his mind how I felt about him and the Amway business.

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  6. Lobotomized even better than the cell phones and texting I used to pull out a paperback novel with a suggestive cover (went to the thrift store and bought some steamy romance novels for a quarter each) and read them at meetings. Haven't read any since we got out of Amway.... That used to really piss off the Platinum!

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  7. Cursing for no apparent reason? Sounds like insanity to me.

    Did he use handcuffs or duct tape?

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  8. Tex I have plenty of reasons to curse out my former upline. None have to do with insanity.

    Handcuffs or duct tape? You are talking about the only way to keep people under control at Amway meetings?

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  9. You may have plenty of reasons to curse out your former upline, but talking about something that happens at many other meetings (turning off/putting on vibrate your phone) isn't a sane one.

    No, I'm talking about how your husband got you to meetings. I'll bet most upline would prefer you not to be there than to be a distraction.

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  10. Uh you were the one that brought up other meetings first! Ha ha!

    I came to the meetings because he'd bitch at me and if you were a female you'd understand that sometimes its easier just to go along for the ride that put up with a bitchy husband! I think the upline - in a move they'd probably later regret - put the screws to Ambot that I should accompany him to the Amway meetings. So I had to do something to entertain myself like bringing along a book to read or some knitting. A rebel who was a distraction. I made it very obvious to all that I did not want to be there so you gotta wonder why the upline kept pressuring Ambot for me to attend their cult meetings.

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  11. I think the upline didnt care how negative the spouse is. They are desperate to have her there cause ...maybe there was a charge for these events? In my day people where discouraged bringing anyone negative. But now with the meetings empty they want anything breathing showing up.

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  12. Uh - I brought up the other meetings to point out it isn't unusual for the attendees at a meeting to be asked to turn off or put their phones on vibrate.

    Guys can bitch? LOL I do wonder why the upline kept telling him to bring you, that's why I said, "I'll bet most upline would prefer you not to be there than to be a distraction."

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  13. Tex I think Colin answered the question for you - for the dollars! If I don't come to a meeting or rally that's ten bucks down the drain. If I don't go to Dream Night flush down $66. If I don't go to Family Reunion or FED that's a few hundred bucks more that's not in their pockets. So in order to get the cashola for the functions, meetings, and rallies they put up with me being a distractions at the freebies in the living room. Money is more important to those bastards than whether or not I'm falling asleep or reading a book with a picture on the cover of a couple having sex in the back seat of a car.

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  14. Oh, Anna, you would have gotten me into so much trouble. I was always the one who would laugh at my classmates' antics, and then I'd get the detention. Couldn't help myself. I dig slapstick humor.

    At the 5 year mark (of our 100 years in amway) I remember sitting in yet ANOTHER 'bored' plan thinking, "Egads, what if this takes us 10 years? 5 more years of 'bored' plans. Oh, no."

    The reason men are the plan showers (in my opinion, at least) is b/c amway knows men would never indulge their wives telling the same stories over and over. Try to picture reversing the roles. The men get to sit with panty hose on, taking copious notes, and batting their eyes adoringly (at appropriate times, of course) and acting like his wife was announcing that unbeknowns to mankind, amway IS the second coming.

    I know, I know. Even 6-9 CASSETTE TAPES a day would not be enough to make that happen.

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  15. Anna,

    That's MY point, and I agree it's for the dollars. But it doesn't make financial sense in the big picture to make a couple of more bucks off you in the short term, and blow out several others while doing so. I stand by my earlier statement: I'll bet most upline would prefer you not to be there than to be a distraction.

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  16. Anonymous, you're right. I rarely tell the same story twice. I don't like people telling the same story over and over either. How come men always seem to fabricate the stories the more time they tell it. That 12 inch trout they caught at the lake becomes a hundred pound cod the more times they tell the story. Also I think women have a harder time not telling the truth when questions are asked about compensation and product expenses and how well people really are doing in Amway. One of our upline totally fucked up when he brought a prospect to a meeting but didn't want to drive her home so he could stay for the night owl. I ended up driving her because I didn't want her standing at a bus stop at midnight. I'm pissed off that I'm driving home someone else's prospect. I only stepped up because no one else offered to get her home safely. Who's responsibility was she anyway? I think she was a lonely girl looking for friends. Anyway the 15 minute car ride was enought for me to give it to her straight and warn her not to get involved or she would lose a lot of money in this expensive social club. Ha ha! My work was done for the night! That was a costly error. Having me drive home someone's prospect!

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  17. Tex I remember going to auditoriums where a Diamond was speaking for the night. You know when everyone stands up and screams when the Diamond walks in. Well not me but I wasn't the only one who kept my ass in the chair. I'd say at least 10 people both men and women refused to show that kind of adoration. I wasn't the only one in the room who didn't want to be there and not the only one reading a book or doing something else that others could consider distracting. However in the small meetings in people's houses I'd be the lone stand out. Do any of those bastards see the big picture? If they had from the day they met me when I said I had no interest in getting involved with Amway again, why didn't they decide I'd be too much trouble and say goodbye to us. NEXT!

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  18. Many of the people who don't stand up at the bigger functions are new.

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  19. Sure - but even most of the new ones will stand up and clap if they see the person they came with doing that. I'm talking about myself and a handful of others in the room who looked pissed off to be there who refused to stand up and cheer and might be reading books, magazines, listening to an iPOD, etc.

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  20. It makes perfect sense to me having people like anna there. Cause i have no clue how long on avrg people stay in amway. But just a guess nobody last very long in this scam. So the cult leaders wanna make as much money as possible.

    Tex:
    But it doesn't make financial sense in the big picture to make a couple of more bucks off you in the short term, and blow out several others while doing so

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  21. Colin its my guess most stay in a year or so. IBO's have to renew each year so if they stop going to meetings a few months before year end they likely won't renew. So maybe up to 2 years for some IBO's. The people we knew who were in longer were the Platinum who'd been at that level for about 15 years, though whether or not he'd slipped in and out of qualification I don't know and 2 others who had reached 4000 to 6000 PV levels but I don't think maintained it. Especially not after most of the people in our leg quit over a 6 month period. And both of them had been in 10 to 15 years. But they can't quit now. Not when success is right around the corner!

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  22. Anna, maybe amway is like some religions. They dont care wheather your a believer or not. Just show up donate money every sunday,listen,etc. My mother was told by some pastor that it didnt matter if she's a believer or not. Long as she shows up ...eventually she might become a believer. My upline where nothing more than young punks who where trying to act like big shots.

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  23. An idiom that describes the Amway business perfectly is the one where the driver of a cart would tie a carrot on a string to a long stick and dangle it in front of the donkey, just out of its reach. As the donkey moved forward to get the carrot, it pulled the cart and the driver so that the carrot would always remain out of reach.

    In Amway, the Donkey is the IBO and the driver is the upline Diamond. For 99% of IBO's, the carrot will always be out of reach even though at times it might seem so close.

    ***Former WWDB Lemming***

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  24. Colin, then nothing much has changed since you were in Amway. Religious comparison is correct because religion shows up at nearly every meeting and function which is why Amway is compared to a cult which often uses some kind of whacky religion to reel in followers.

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  25. Anonymous WWDB Lemming - our sponsor got that idiom slightly wrong. He reffered to prospects as donkeys and he was dangling the carrot in front of them.

    I've always referred to our sponsor as an ass! And much worse!

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  26. Hi, Lemming;

    What a great word - idiom. I had to look it up, no kidding. I love expanding my vocabulary, and I use my Webster's Dictionary often.

    The Redneck in me won't let me pretend I know everything. (Tex, be nice.)

    Yours was a great description.

    CASSETTE TAPES forever!

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  27. Anon,

    I find words all the time I don't know. I highlight them, do a right mouse click, and click the google search for the word. This is the 21st century, you know that, right? LOL

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  28. Well Tex I guess that's one of the things that makes you a much more literate person than the rest of us! LOL

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  29. Yes, it is. Just one of them.

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  30. And a much more humble person than the rest of us.

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  31. It's not so much an issue of being humble, it is an issue of caring. You've already clearly stated you don't care. I do.

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  32. Aw I'm sure Amway appreciates that you still care.

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  33. You wouldn't believe how much Amway "appreciates" me, we'll see if they "appreciate" you as well: http://texsquixtarblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/so-amway-you-think-i-have-potty-mouth.html

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  34. Too late Tex. Amway already appreciates me. I have a reader from Ada who loves the foul language! You're under the false impression that I care enough or am curious enough to click that link?

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  35. No, I'm under the true impression you're to stupid to know how to highlight it and right click it! LOL

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  36. Well if I'm too stupid to do that then I'm too stupid to join your lawsuit!

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  37. You're probably right about that.

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  38. Hi, Tex;

    That's nice about the right clicking thing, but I'll just use my dictionary, thanks.

    I love paper and if book stores ever cease to exist, I'll buy as many as I can just to see the written word on paper.

    Technology, for the most part, doesn't impress me much unless it's used to protect our country.

    Not saying it's wrong or anything, I'm just not motivated enough by it to run out and buy the latest and greatest every 15 minutes.

    My daughter makes fun of my 'old' cell phone (it might be 6-8 yrs. old). She can't understand that I don't pee my pants that you can text every nano-second with your bff. gag

    I don't want or care to know what someone else is doing every minute of the day. My cell phone rarely rings. I don't know how to text. I can barely e-mail - and I'm happy and properous. My business is humming along beautifully. We have never stopped doing everything on paper (yes, we use a computer program, too). If the power ever goes out, no problem. We can actually function just fine.

    So the laughs' on the techno junkies who can't change a tire w/o a manual.

    It's frightening to see today's young people so out of touch with nature and how their world works. Our fiends were all driving tractors by ten years of age and could tell you how and when to plant and reap a crop. They knew when it was time for the pig slaughter. We knew when it was time to detassle corn and the difference between field and sweet corn.

    We could scale silos and work an auger; can those veggies, and make and live on stone soup.

    We couldn't get our dirvers licenses until we could demonstrate that we could change a tire. We each had to do it in front of the entire class.

    I may not be up on technology, but my chances of survival in an emergency may be a little better b/c I can do more than text my bff and find out what the Kardashians are up to.

    I salute you on your techno abilities. I'm impressed but at the same time, I'm O.K. with at my level, too.

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  39. Technology when used properly makes a task easier, quicker, and better. I'm not a techno geek, just someone who has found ways to easily do things as stated above. It has nothing to do with whether you text on a cell phone, can change a tire, drive a tractor, slaughter a pig, detassling corn, knowing the difference between field and sweet corn, scaling a silo, working an auger, can veggies, make or live on stone soup, etc.

    I offered a simple way to look up a word without going to a paper dictionary. No more, no less.

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Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.