Monday, February 14, 2011

The Products You Love!

Seeing as how its Valentine's Day I thought I'd inject a little love into this post!

“The Products You Love”.

Inspired by yet another Google Ad pretending not to be Amway. But I’m wise to these false advertisers now. The ad says free shipping on orders at least $99. Hmm, where have I heard that one recently?

The only way I’m clicking my way to yet another IBO’s Amway portal page is to give the blog writer a few extra bucks! And then I'm outta there!

I seriously doubt if I clicked on the link for “The Products You Love” that I would actually find anything I love available there.

Does Amway carry the things I love: chocolate coated strawberries (fresh not dehydrated!), mystery books written by my favorite authors, chocolate peanut butter ice cream, mango slushy bubble tea, puppies, seascape paintings, LA Gear sneakers...

Nope. Instead Amway carries a bunch of overpriced shit that I HATE!

There is absolutely no Amway product that I LOVE and MUST HAVE. Their fruit juices are about the only Amway product that I liked. Not love. Just like. I HATE their price tag though. I can buy juice at the grocery store for a fraction of the price Amway charges for their juice.

“The Products You Love”. Talk about false advertising. I’m almost tempted to click on the ad just to find the IBO’s contact information. They promised me products I love and right now I’d love some ice cream. And while I’m placing an order I’ll take the latest Stephen King novel, a Bon Jovi CD, and an English Setter puppy.

Then the IBO has to fess up and say they don’t sell those things.

What? You can’t provide the products I love? Fucking lying IBO! False advertising! How about I report you to Adsense? Why are you even doing advertising on the Internet anyway? Got some of those free $100 adsense coupons that are floating around? I thought Amway says you can’t do that kind of advertising. Must have gotten “permission”.

The only people who claim to love Amway products are brainwashed IBO’s. However once they quit Amway the love affair is over. They were only brainwashed into thinking they loved them during their Amway jail time.

If that IBO doesn’t want to be accused of false advertising he (she?) should change their slogan to “products you’ll hate at prices you’ll hate”. At least that now becomes truth in advertising. It might even intrigue people to click on the ad to see exactly what it is that they’ll be hating.

In closing I have a message to the owner of the "products you love" ad in the immortal words of Bon Jovi:


1 comment:

  1. Anna;

    How many times do we gotta warn you about these hysterical posts?

    About snorted a toothpick, already!

    "Your'e killin' me, Smalls, your'e killin' me!"

    Your friend,


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.