Sunday, February 13, 2011
Mow My Lawn!
One day Ambot and I were in the car and Ambot pulls out his cell phone to call his beloved Platinum.
He asks him if his teenage son would like the job of mowing our lawn.
What the fuck! Ambot NEVER discussed this with me first. I’ve been mowing that lawn for a long time and Ambot has never given me any money when I’ve put the mower back in the shed and come into the house and now he wants to pay the fucking Platinum’s teenager to mow our lawn!
First off - Ambot never checked with about this before whipping out his phone. Probably because he knows I would have said NO!
Second - teenagers do NOT want to mow lawns. They have tons of other stuff they’d rather be doing. I sure as hell didn’t want to mow the lawn when I was a teenager.
Third - the Platinum lived on the other side of town. Who was going to drive his teenager to our house so he could mow our fucking lawn? I bet not daddy dearest. Ambot or more than likely me would be assigned that “privilege” of a 45 minute round trip.
Fourth - Ambot would have likely paid him some extravagant wage for spending an hour mowing our lawn like $40 or $50. If he paid me that I’d mow the lawn daily!
Fifth - I may have hated mowing the lawn as a teenager but as an adult I know the exercise is good for me. I also take pride in keeping my property looking neat. Some teenager for hire isn’t going to give a shit what our lawn looks.
Fortunately the Platinum’s son is like every other teenager out there had ZERO interest in mowing a lawn and said hell no I ain’t doing it.
To this day I have no idea why Ambot was suddenly overcome with this sudden urge to phone the Platinum and offer to hire his kid to mow the lawn other than perhaps his skewed way of thinking this would earn him brownie points. I also have no idea why he felt this wasn’t something he should discuss with me first. I always mow the lawn so why the hell would Ambot even come up with this wonderful idea. I wasn't complaining about mowing the lawn and asking if someone else could mow it. Its not like Ambot is the one who is mowing our lawn and doesn’t like doing it and can’t convince me to mow it and is therefore forced to hire someone.
What I’m really surprised about is that the Platinum didn’t say: “You want MY son to mow YOUR lawn? Dude, you got that one backwards. I want YOU to mow MY lawn. I expect YOU to mow MY lawn twice a week to keep it looking good. And I’m not paying you any money for the privilege of mowing my lawn. I’ll give you one on one counselling after every ten times you mow my lawn. That is an incredible deal for you! Oh I forgot, I expect you to supply the gas for my lawnmower too.”
Fucking pompous sack of shit. Maybe that conversation DID take place and Ambot never told me. For all I know he WAS mowing that sack of shit’s lawn!