Saturday, October 15, 2011

How To Ruin An Amway Meeting

Ha ha! Someone did a Google search “how to ruin an Amway meeting” and ended up at my blog. And then a few days later I got another searcher wanting to know how to ruin an Amway meeting. OK I’ll bite. Sounds like fun to me!

When I think back to all the ruined evenings I had because I was spending them at an Amway meeting I think its only fair to return the favor!

The only people I knew of for sure who had a bad attitude about being stuck in an Amway meeting were myself and our sack of shit Platinum. Every meeting I attended the Platinum would whine and bitch about how he was giving up time with his family and doing things he wanted to do to talk to us about Amway. Yeah well I can whine and bitch about the same thing. I’m giving up time with my family to hear him talk about Amway. And I have no interest in listening to him talk about Amway. I’d rather be anywhere else doing stuff I want to do instead of listening to him spout off lies and bullshit. So right away there are two of us in the same room with bad attitudes about being there because we have bigger and better things to do than attend an Amway meeting.

Here’s some ways to ruin an Amway meeting.

  1. Before the meeting begins ask if this has anything to do with Amway. Keep asking and hold up the meeting getting underway until you get an answer. If someone is honest enough to admit that it is Amway tell them you’re leaving.
  2. Show up late. After 8:30pm or 9pm would be perfect. Make a lot of noise getting to your seat and saying hi to people.
  3. When the speaker begins to bitch about giving up time with his family to talk to the audience, stand up and yell the same thing right back at him. “I’m giving up time with my family to hear you talk. And so far I don’t like what I hear! I wish to hell we had both stayed at home!”
  4. Leave your cell phone on. At the beginning of every meeting some ambot in a monkey suit introduces the jackass speaking that night and tells the audience to turn off their phones. Prearrange with someone to phone around 8:30. Change your cell phone ring tone to Jimmy Buffet’s Let’s Get Drunk and Screw. And yes I checked. You can download that ring tone! Then go ahead and hold a conversation with whoever phoned and watch the horrified reaction of the brainwashed ambots around you. How dare someone disrespect their cult leader by taking a phone call!
  5. Wait 15 minutes or so into the meeting and then get up and say: “I’m bored. I’m outta here.”
  6. Stand up and yell “You’re a bunch of fucking liars!”
  7. Yell out: “No one wants to listen to this negative shit!”
  8. Stand up and say “I’ve got better things to do.” And then walk out.
  9. Start telling offensive jokes.
  10. Just as the meeting is about to start stand up and say “I’m going on a McDonald’s run. Be back soon!”
  11. Start complaining about the uncomfortable chair you’re sitting on.
I’m sure there are many other ways to ruin an Amway meeting. Seeing as how Amway meetings have ruined so many lives I say its OK to get even.


  1. This company is somewhat of a Ponzi scheme, and yes i make way more than a Diamond,i would never even consider selling Amway,i know people who have been sucked into this ridiculous company and there stupid idea's ,if i want something i will buy it at the local store and i don't care if the store owner lives in a mansion!

  2. You got it Anonymous! I think we earn way more than a Diamond too. With the exception of the Diamonds who are way at the top of the pyramid. But then we can say we didn't get where we are by screwing other people out of their money in a pyramid scheme. Yup I buy what I need at the local store too. If I need something now like I just ran out of toilet paper I'm not going to buy it on the Internet and wait for it to be shipped.

  3. Been lurking on this blog for a few days now, reading from post no 1. A former Ambot to the core, I wandered onto this blog from a search on another MLM - QNet - because a good friend of mine is on it and showed me circles which were vaguely familiar...rather very familiar, with same acronyms and quotes that it got my hackles up.

    Just reached feb'11 in your blog. But had to comment here - I keep getting 'prospected' as they call it here in India, and I play along, and go for the home - bored (board) meetings and I get up to leave when they draw the Quadrant of RIch Dad Poor Dad or they start pissing on the dream list and why we can't do it. Then one of the minions will come behind asking why I want to leave, and like the good little Ambots that they are, they will give ('Drop') a 'tool' - a CD or a book telling me read/listen to it. Once I whacked the book and didn't return it because I wanted it :-D it was Stephen Covey's 7 Habits! And I didn't return his calls. Usually I grunt, sigh and leave the meetings, 'trying' to be quiet! :-D

  4. Thank you for reading Domesticated Bachelor! Wow, reading the whole blog starting from my first post! That's a whole lot of reading! Wow!

    Amway ambots call it prospecting here in the states too. Good for you getting up and leaving. And holding on to that book! I'm not familiar with it but if its a book you would have otherwise wanted to add to your collection and you can get it off an ambot - score!

  5. I just had some fun looking for Amway on Twitter, tons of Ambots talking about PV and BV, how they are going to be rich someday, photos of fancy cars and how they are going to buy them with cash, night owl meetings in McDonalds, being hyped from the awesome teachings from the cult leaders. Most of the idiots were young. I'm gonna teach my kids never to listen to that rubbish!


  6. Al - I'm afraid Twitter is a little too technically advanced for me to figure out!

    The recent influx in Twitter could be due to all these fired up ambots who are going to Free Enterprise Days in Denver Colorado this weekend October 21 to 23 2011.

    When they're standing in line waiting for the doors to this Amway function open up they're all bullshitting each other by how much PV they have and what bonus percentage they're at.

    If your kids ever show the slightest interest in Amway you must show them my blog and others like it. Show them now before they get into a meeting where they'll be brainwashed! The only things that come out of Amway are wasting your time, losing your money, possible destruction of existing relationships, and emotional distress. No cult is worth how much will be lost.

  7. :-) Yep I had wanted that book, though I don't subscribe much to 'Self-Help/Improvement' books.

    Yeah I was neck deep and sinking further in this mire about 8-9 years back for about a year and a half; when I decided enough is enough, and I upped and left. The story is for another time. And I had relocated to another city about half a year later. And about a year or year and half after that, my uplines call me and said, lets meet for oldtimes sake. They are splendid people, and I have known them for years - as in like 15-20 prior to my being sucked in. I reach there and it was one of those regional meets of N-21. And I was forced to go in. I sat there and slept, till some moron poked me to wake me up a few times, and I just growled at him and left.

  8. Anonymous - those ambots never give up. They specialize in trickery. They managed to get my husband in a second time so just because someone was in before and quit doesn't mean they can't prospect them again.

  9. You people have no clue what you are talking about. It amazes me what a "bathroom wall" the internet and this site are.

    Looking at how fast you were going back and forth, you should just hook up now. Retire poor, and bitch about everything you will never have because you never worked for it.

    1. Like I give s flying fuck what some lying scamming Ambot asshole from Lander, Wyoming has to say. Ie canned amspeak response learned from an upline cult leader. Fuck off shithead!

    2. Dear Anon Jan 24,
      Internet is the Bathroom Wall?
      Last time I checked, Amway is supposed to be an Internet business, you know, not a traditional business. I heard so much about the internet in its infant years (unfortunate that I was tricked into an Scamway meeting), yet you RATS turn around and start bashing the internet. Such a fraud business model, oh wait, it is not a business. Go help your diamond by draining your savings account. If you have not figured it out, there is no refund to all the money you put into your diamond's checking account. You have no clue who you are.
      The person you, Anon, stalk in Malls.

  10. Anna - not worth a reply... don't waste time or energy.

    1. I know. Its like a warning to other ambots but they're too dumb ass to figure it out. Come see Anna Banana for your punishment.

  11. Heck the computer - instead of a powerpoint presentation of random pictures of mansions, vacays, cars it should show Penn and Teller's bullshit episode about MLM.

  12. Show up wearing shorts and sandals... I'm sure prospectors tell you to dress sharp, but given the meetings I've been to, that was such a joke. A bunch of hacks trying to pass themselves off as professionals with a job. A McDonalds/Target/Walmart/Safeway/Starbucks employee dressed in their work garb has more pride and professionalism then any of these folks

    I commented how during a meeting, the speaker asked how much someone pays for a bottle of water, and got a $2 reply. I would've said 20 cents... I bottle it via a filter, or get it from Costco much cheaper. He still would've followed up by saying you should buy the Amway type because it's oxygenated, good for you, and goes towards your PV.

    If you end up sitting in the front (members will ask if you're new, and if you say yes, that you should go sit up front) and become bored out of your skull (NOT that difficult it turns out), just get up and walk away. Slower speed so that everyone can see you leave. It'll alert some of those pricks, but as a bonus, it may incite other potential victims to follow suit, as I'm sure they were thinking of doing the same thing.

    When they ask what you would do with an extra $50/$100/whatever a month, reply that you hope it'll keep you from having to join a pyramid scheme/MLM. Hey, they never tell you what the fuck is going on in those meetings, so how were you supposed to know?

    1. Ha ha very good on the last sentence. Hopefully that money will keep me from getting involved with Amway or similar MLM scam! You only heard a couple of hundred bucks extra a month? The assholes in our upline said a couple thousand and then it went up up up from there. Though none of them would offer any proof of the thousands they were making each month in Scamway!

  13. Hi Anna! I'm so proud of you and your blog. I learned alot in Amway and I got burned out of alot of money, a marriage and time. My idea is to bring alcohol! Offer it around - beer would be easiest (if it's a house meeting ofcourse) Offer it to the people wearing plain clothes - the prospects - avoid the suits! If the folks decline - don't be detoured - drink up, relax, laugh, smile - talk to the presentor like you are having a one on one, ask LOTS of questions - don't let him/her controll the meeting :) They hate that. When you do get bored - raise your hand - let them know - grab your 6 pack and go - wave sweetly at the other prospects :)

    1. Hi Anonymous. Thanks for stopping by. Sorry to hear the toll Amway took on your life. You know some ambots trick prospects into coming to Amway meetings by telling them it's a keg party. Yeah drinking beer in front of those prudes would be a good one!


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.