Monday, August 20, 2012
How 2 Broke Girls Get Even Broker the Amway Way
Has everyone been watching a show that premiered on CBS last year called 2 Broke Girls. It’ll be coming back on September 24. Anyway here is a piece I wrote last summer before it started airing and all I had to go on was the previews. I wasn’t sure if it would be a show I’d watch but I’ve been enjoying it and I hope you enjoy my ambot version!
The premise is two girls in their twenties who are roommates and work as waitresses. They’re trying to raise a couple of hundred thousand dollars so they can open a cupcake store but in the meantime they are barely scraping by.
Gee don’t they just sound like prime targets for some crazed ambot?
You know the bullshit lines those IBO’s use on people like what do you do for a living and if its some minimum wage type job then the ambot jumps all over them.
Wouldn’t you like to be making an extra $2000/month working part time from home?
Sure, who wouldn’t?
What about your dreams?
Owning a cupcake bakery.
How much money will that take.
A couple of hundred thousand.
Hey how would you like to be making a couple of hundred thousand dollars a year working part time from home.
That’s how it always starts.
Then when the IBO digs deeper and finds they’re barely scraping by, their eyes light up and they rub their hands together in glee. Got a prospect!
The problem is if those 2 broke girls sign up with Amway if they thought they were broke now they don’t know the meaning of the word broke! Spend at least $300/month to meet the minimum PV requirement to get a bonus check of around $10. Then there’s Premier Membership to WWDB for $50/month, Communikate for $40/month, books and CDs at least $100/month, and $10 for every Amway meeting attended in the month. If its a major function cost of ticket, food, travel, and hotel, at least $1000.
After a few months the 2 broke girls have thrown at least $5000 at the Amway scheme and are way deep in the hole. They had a couple of friends buy Amway products at the beginning but their friends don’t want to buy from them anymore because they can buy similar products at Walmart that are better quality and cost less money. As hard as they prospect every customer that walks in the door of the restaurant they can’t convince anyone to come to an Amway meeting. They’ve even tried all the tricks upline suggested inviting prospects to a tea party, movie night, or beer bust disguised as an Amway event.
The 2 broke girls find themselves getting broker and broker by the second thanks to the Amway scheme.
They decide to quit.
Their upline rides their asses.
“You can’t quit now. Not when success is right around the corner.”
“Only losers aren’t in Amway.”
“I guess your dream of owning a cupcake store just wasn’t big enough.”
“Think of all those poor homeless little cupcakes that are going to die because you don’t open up a store and sell them.”
The 2 broke girls tell their upline to fuck off and die.
To celebrate getting the Amway albatross off their necks they stop at a 7-11 on the way home and buy a lottery ticket. They win half a million dollars and are able to open their cupcake shop anyway. Unfortunately it becomes a hang out for ambots to hold meetings at and they pester the cupcake clients. The 2 formerly broke girls file a complaint with Amway’s head office who don’t give a shit and do nothing.
Well if you can’t beat them join them. The 2 formerly broke girls start to offer ambots free chocolate cupcakes and that really packs their restaurant when word gets out.
Specially made for Amway IBO’s they’re loaded with ex-lax.
Ironically out of service signs always are posted on the cupcake store’s restrooms whenever ambots are in there.
And they said Amway doesn’t give a shit!