Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Amway Ambot Chuckle

Someone who left a comment on my blog reminded me of the Amway ambot chuckle.

We’ve all heard it. It’s the chuckle that people in Amway use when they think they’re dealing with a fucking moron. Those ambots need to be looking in the mirror.

The Amway ambot chuckle kind of sounds like they’re hacking up a hairball. It kind of goes like this.

HUA HUA HUA

Ambots use it when they’re having a conversation with someone who’s not in Amway and they’re trying to overcome their objections to getting involved in the Amway scam or don’t want to buy overpriced shitty products.

Prospect: Does this have anything to do with Amway?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. No its World Wide Dream Builders. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I was involved in Amway before and it didn’t work out.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. It didn’t work because you didn’t try hard enough. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: You’ve been in Amway 15 years and still aren’t a Diamond. What’s up with that?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s because I’m not trying hard enough. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: Amway costs $50 a year just to buy their overpriced products?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You can’t afford $50 a year to be in this exclusive shopping club? HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: I spend $50 a year on my Costco membership and I buy well known products for less money.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Don’t you want to pay more money for quality? HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: No.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Loser! HUA HUA HUA.

Propsect: I heard Amway is a pyramid scheme.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Your job is a pyramid. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: (looking at an Amway catalogue) Holy shit. Look at these prices. I can go to the grocery store and buy a box of laundry soap for a third of that price.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Don’t you want to pay more money for quality. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: I don’t want to pay more money for poor quality Amway products.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Loser! HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: (after trying a sip of XS energy drink and spitting it out) Holy fuck! That tastes like cat piss!
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. This is the best energy drink on the market. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: Fuck! If this is the best I sure as hell don’t want to try the worst! Pass me a coke.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Loser! HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: You told me Amway Artistry is one of the top 5 cosmetic companies in the world. I looked it up on the Internet and it ain’t.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. We’re #2 in the world for prestige cosmetics. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: What the fuck? Who the hell cares if their cosmetics are prestige or not?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. We’re #2. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: Next thing you’ll be telling me is that Amway sells prestige tampons and toilet paper.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s right. All Amway products are prestige. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: How many people do you have in your Amway downline.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Business is going great. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: This says I can make $115 a month working 10 to 15 hours a week in Amway. That’s like $2 to $3 an hour. Rip off!
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You can’t believe everything you read. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I hear Amway is a cult.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Your job is a cult. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: Have you been to Barnes & Noble lately?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s the best place to talk to people about Amway. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I already own my own business.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. It’s a worthless piece of shit business. The only business out there that’s any good is Amway. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: How come when a dog eats Amway dog food it shits 3 times more than it used to?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s because its eating prestige dog food. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I heard people lose a lot of money in Amway.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. You have to invest money back in your business. You have to spend money to make money. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: How much money do you make in Amway every month?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. None of your business. HUA HUA HUA.
Prospect: No seriously. You want me to join Amway I need to know if its worth my while. How much do you make in Amway every month?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. That’s private. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: How much money does it cost every month to be in Amway?
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Guess you’ll have to sign up and find out for yourself. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: We have to pay for training in Amway? At my job the owner pays for the employees training.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Your job is a pyramid and you’re making your boss rich. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: I’m not interested in signing up with Amway.
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. Then by the time you’re 65 you’ll either be dead or broke. HUA HUA HUA.

Prospect: Go to hell ambot!
Ambot: HUA HUA HUA. I’m already there. One of the joys of being in Amway! HUA HUA HUA.

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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 21, 2013 at 3:02 PM

    Hi Anna,
    Thank you kindly for your blog. I have been approached twice in the past year by Ambots there must be an out brake in my area. Both times they were careful to not say “Amway” but I saw threw it thankfully. The most recent guy tried to tell me about “network marketing” after I did a quick search on his name I found this web site http://slightedge.biz/ that he is associated with. Although nothing there says “Amway” to me it reeks of it. What do you think?
    When I have the time I plan on sending you my experience with ambots.
    Thanks again for your blog.

    Real JOB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anna BananaMay 21, 2013 at 4:52 PM

      Hi Anonymous. Glad you're enjoying the blog. Yeah some areas get over saturated with Amway ambots. Real companies who have salespeople or a business opportunity to franchise don't overlap to the point of over saturation but that's the difference between a real business opportunity and a scam.

      I don't know if it's connected but a lot of people end up here after searching for "slight edge scam".The book named the slight edge is mentioned in one of the posts here and is one that the Amway cult leaders push on their followers to buy. Whether there's any connection I couldn't tell you.

      Sure we'd be happy to see any comments you have dealing with ambots. Sometimes I pull comments and make them a post a few weeks later so my readers aren't reading the same thing too close together.

      Delete
  2. saullyMay 22, 2013 at 5:54 PM

    Now THAT was funny. Laughed pretty hard. Thanks for the humor, and your right about the laugh. Its pretty spot on. There is also a certain scheming look an ambot has that usually accompanies that laugh.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anna BananaMay 23, 2013 at 10:30 AM

      Thanks for stopping by saully. The scheming ambot look. The one that's part weasel part devil.

      Delete

Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.

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