Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Amway Ambot Secret Knowledge Club

Amway is full of secrets. Some would even claim that the secret to financial success can be found by becoming an Amway salesperson.

Yup the Amway Secret Knowledge Club and wouldn’t you like to be a member is something those Amway assholes taunt their prospects with.

Our sack of shit Platinum was always lording it over us that he held the secret to becoming successful in Amway even though after 15 or 20  years he still had failed to move on to the hallowed ground of Emerald or Diamond before Amway canned his ass out of there. Perhaps time would be better spent learning the secret of how someone who “owns their own business” can get fired! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

But whatever - it was something he gloatingly held over our heads. He held the secret and wouldn’t we want to be in his good books and become a member of this secret knowledge club that he was an esteemed member of and learn from him.

Gag! Puke! Fuck you you sack of shit Platinum. The only knowledge I want from you is how we can quit and get back the money and time we wasted on Amway.

So what secrets do Amway and their brainwashed ambots hold? Actually that’s too broad a question. Amway the company has all kinds of secrets like how much they’re paying ambots in commission each month and breaking it down into a table so prospects can fully understand the business they’re getting into and potential profits they can expect to receive. Columns broken down into number of ambots earning less than $10 a month Between $10 and $50. Between $50 and $100. And so on though numbers would get scarce around the $50 mark. Also how many Amway products are sold to people who are not registered IBO’s. How many Diamonds there are. How much does each Amway product cost to produce and what is the mark up that ambots get dinged with. Those kind of things.

I’ll leave Amway the company out of this discussion. This blog is all about trashing my upline. If I have to trash Amway in the process so be it but not the primary objective.

So what secrets do our Amway upline hold. Part of the secret knowledge club means knowing how to scam and brainwash others. From what I’ve observed here are some characteristics some of the people in our upline held. Fucking assholes like our sponsor and his sponsor and some others didn’t have these traits. The scary thing is half of these traits are not really all that bad. The difference is the people who like everyone they meet and get along well with others who have no ulterior motive in mind other than being a good friend or a good salesperson as opposed to Amway scammers who are only out to rip off others.

1.      Likeable, personable, ability to relate well with just about everyone.
2.      Have an answer for everything.
3.      Offers expensive coaching, mentoring sessions.
4.      Calmly deal with unhappy customers aka downline.
5.      Able to bullshit their way out of any sticky situation.
6.      Good speaker, good rapport with an audience.
7.      Ability to put people at ease.
8.      Good at selling: Amway products, business plan, tickets to functions, etc.

Members of Amway’s secret knowledge club learn the above secrets and how to effectively put them to use so the victim does not realize they’re being scammed. Befriend the victim. Be the victim’s best friend. Convince them to buy overpriced useless Amway products and pay big bucks to attend Amway functions.

Being a member of Amway’s secret knowledge club is learning how to use your powers for evil instead of good.


  1. How come you never mention the name of your sack of shit Platinum?

    1. OK it's been about a month since the last time I had to go over this so pay attention. There are a few bananas who contribute to this blog. To make it less confusing to the readers we try to stay consistent when referring to the Amway upline assholes. When talking about the Platinum we usually use sack of shit though that doesn't mean we don't use other descriptive names. One person refers to the emerald as a sack of shit too. We don't use real names unless they are well known in Amway such as the owners or Diamonds who are on the speaking rosters at Amway functions. It's really fucking embarrassing for people to admit they have anything to do with Amway so we don't name lowly ambots. What's the point? Just because people in Amway go out of their way to be assholes doesn't mean that we have to put in that same energetic enthusiasm into being assholes! We'll just call them fucked up bastards and other fun names which are more fun than whatever name their mommy gave them anyway. Ha ha.

      No one who actually likes Amway would be reading this blog unless they're really fucked in the head but just in case a platinum shows up here after doing a random search and reads about the sack of shit platinum he'll never know for sure if he's the sack of shit or not. Unless of course he's now in Monavie! The assholes in my Amway upline are the assholes in everyone's upline and here is the place to curse them out for making our lives miserable.

  2. I don't have one!

  3. Hey there Anna,

    Ah, so there are more than one "Anna". I always wondered how one single person could keep up with the comments... mystery revealed he he he.

    Anyway, I had yet another painful discussion with my girlfriend. I had an appointment with a shrink yesterday evening because, you know... AMWAY and all that sack of crap! As I got home she greeted me with a "Did it help deal with your demons?"

    That's when I realized she's actually convinced all of this is happening in my head. That I'm the one who's crazy and she's the one who's sane. She even went so far as to tell me she doesn't believe in psychology because it doesn't work. Now that's what I call emotional support!!! Especially when she too consults a therapist on occasion (the term in french is "psychothérapeute"... which is basically a shrink that doesn't have a shrink degree).

    Anyway, she said she doesn't recognize me anymore to which I replied the feeling was mutual. That whenever we talked about Amway, I felt like I was talking to a wall, which was the same feeling she had. I then went to tell her eventually everyone runs into the problem she was currently facing: no one left to talk to. That if it was hard before it would only become harder and harder to find people. She then said "Why then do they say we only need three?"

    That line is basically the definition of a diamond: three legs at 25%. But there's the catch, it's three LEGS, not three PEOPLE! 25% is 7500 PV where I live. So that means you need 75 people to make 100 PV IN ONE MONTH!!! But she once said to me we had something like 5% chance of finding someone who's going to join... that means one out of twenty!!! So do the math, to get three legs at 7500 PV, the plan has to be shown:

    (75 * 3) * 20 = 4500 times!!!!!

    And that's ONLY TO BUILD THREE LEGS OF 75 PEOPLE!!! Realistically you'll need way more than that to reach the 7500 mark because not everyone buys 400$ worth of products every months!!!

    Even that fell on deaf ears. All she had to say was "I don't have to be the one who shows the plan every time. My team will take care of that for me."

    So yeah, as you can tell, I'm not feeling very good this morning. I mean if even math doesn't reach her, I don't know what will.

    1. Tobbi - now comments are another story. Usually just me but sometimes the others who can sign in answer too. The comments aren't as wildly busy as they used to be so usually I can handle it but sometimes I don't feel like it and then I feel bad that people who've left comments might be sitting around waiting for me to answer. And no one is checking comments on the weekends anymore.

      In Scamway it's all about blaming everyone else. People in Amway have such high opinions of themselves. How great they are and how above reproach they are and there's nothing wrong with them. It's everyone else that has the problems. Just goes to show how damaging their brainwashing is and that's why we come up with words like ambots.

      Perhaps you can try bringing your girlfriend along to the therapist appointment. You need to find someone who is experienced in dealing with cults and deprogramming or intervention or whatever they use for treatments.

      They'll never get the math. It looks good on paper and the assholes in their upline say gazillions of dollars to be made and that's all they'll hear because those assholes tell them not to listen to anyone else outside Amway.

      Oh yes the old line about how the upline will show the plan because they have the most experience at doing so. Whoever is showing the plan doesn't matter as much as where to find suckers willing to come listen to it. And thats where your math comes in. You got to find thousands of people just to get a handful who will sign up. Most IBO's can't find that many.

      Maybe you just need to take a break from her and the Amway insanity and spend a few days in Las Vegas or Miami or something. Or find somewhere she wants to go and take her and just get her away from those Amway assholes and start deprogramming her so that means leaving all the Amway shit at home.

      Hope you're feeling better.

  4. Hi Tobbi, I may not know what you're going through, but I do have a friend who's in this, and one thing I know about these Amway people is they are programmed to function purely on faith and dreams. If you try to counter anything they've been fed with actual facts or extensive research, it will just blow up in your face.

    I remember one little incident, coming home from a late dinner at Denny's, it was just me and this girl, we've been buddies since diapers. She joined this thing and I guess I was just worried she might not want to admit things were tough out of shame. I told her: "So, if you ever feel like there is no actual revenue in this investment of yours, don't ever feel like it's your fault, I've made risky decisions myself, and all you do is move on to something bigger and better." She does not even turn my way, but instead just utters: "my upline told me no one would believe in me, I guess they were right...but they also said I don't need anyone else, because as long as my upline and all my Amway friends believe in me, I don't need anyone else in the world."

    We still talk and sometimes still hangout, our friendship is still like before, but I never cross her Amway-devotion. Partly because she has developed into this Amway-shell just can-speaking and functioning straight out of Amway (I don't know how else to explain it). Sorry for my life-story hehe!


    1. Hey Jman if what your friend is saying there doesn't sound like it came straight from a cult then I don't know what is.

      Amway is all about destroying relationships and making the Ambot dependent on their new friends in the Amway cult. And of course making them hand over all their money because Amway friends stop being your friends as soon as the money dries up.

  5. Hi Tobbi, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My friend has been in for 6 months and it's very frustrating to watch. And unlike you, I'm mostly watching from a distance - not living it.

    Ironic that she doesn't believe in psychology - considering that she's a victim of its dark side.

    1. Like-a-mom when you're in Amway you only believe what your cult leaders tell you to believe. The victims don't see themselves as that until they get out for good and then they catch on they were brainwashed to believe a bunch of liars and thieves.

  6. Hey Jman,

    Thanks for your life story :). And yeah, I see exactly what you mean. This... Amshell surrounding my girlfriend is so tangible that I can practically see it. Every time you try to reach in, it's like an electric jolt pushes you back.

    Still, we both live in a 500 square feet appartment so there's no escape for me. You can choose not to go see your friend... but I can't choose not to see my girlfriend. My most cherished dream of finding the right girl for me has turned into a nightmare of epic proportions :(.

    Still, thanks for sympathizing with me, it makes me feel a little better :).

    1. I know exactly what you mean Tobbi. It's like they're surrounded by an Amshield and you don't want to touch for fear of the venom that will spill out.

  7. Hey Tobbi,

    Your last line there really got to me: "My most cherished dream of finding the right girl for me has turned into a nightmare of epic proportions"! I swear, I can say this with all assurance, what you must be going through is the most unimaginable pain one can ever experience.

    I've always imagined what it would be (and feel) like to find my significant other, my other half, and it's always so perfect, so amazing, so magical and everlasting. Sort of like an unstained glance at the most wonderful and glamorous existence ever experienced.

    To have that, all taken away due to something as insignificant as a multi-level-marketing scam (Amway) is just maddening to say the least. I don't think I could ever stomach that. I feel Amway taking away our loved ones, and more importantly in your case, your significant other is just barbaric to say the least.

    I hope you find a way you can deprogram her so you can have her back.


    (P.S. Thank you for sharing your story Tobbi/ oh and thanks to you too Anna for giving all of us an opportunity to vent in here and comfort each other when no one else will listen!)

    1. Hi Jman. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness when you're dealing with an Ambot in the Amway cult. Why don't they see what's happening to themselves when it's so clear to everyone else around them who cares for them. And why is the Ambot listening to these fuckers who weren't even part of his life until a few months ago.Why isn't the Ambot listening to the people they've known for years or their whole life who actually care about them instead of listening and obeying greedy Amway bastards. The control these Amway assholes have over their cult followers is creepy and scary and it's all about how much they love destroying other peoples lives because that's what troublemaking losers like them do. Bring others down to their rat bastard sewer.

  8. this guy loves his secret-knowledge amway tapes

    1. That's an interesting & entertaining video! The Daytime Tapes he talks about near the end sound pretty creepy with all the subliminal messages. Anna did Ambot have that set?

    2. We threw everything out and they all sounded the same to me so I don't know for sure. But every Amway "motivational" recording was full of subliminal brainwashing messages. And some not so subliminal. They were very creepy and disturbing. And they all had to be played at the highest volume setting screeching out at you like you were in some big tent in the deep south at a revival meeting.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.