A reader tells us about life with an ambot boyfriend.
My boyfriend joined amway over the summer and has increasingly become defensive about it when I mention that it's weird and how I refuse to join. This is the only thing we fight about and I avoid talking about it at all costs! He's now starting to find negative things that come out of my mouth. One time I yelled at him about it and he apologized and said I wasn't negative. But he'll ask me to join. This last time we fought he told me that if I said no this time, he'll leave me alone about joining. He hasn't mentioned it since but I'm scared that this will come up again. He promised he'd never leave me for this and because of this and tht I'm being too paranoid. I don't show any support for this. He's actually in the process of applying for real corporate jobs and I'm praying that this is my only hope in him waking up and realizing its a scam. When people ask him "what do you do for a living?" He mentions NOTHiNG about it and says he's looking for a job, and if someone asks him about why he's been out of town for a "conference" he says "it's for a little side thing I'm doing." ... Those are SOME good signs but I'm having anxiety attacks when he goes to their weekly brainwash sessions and when he's at a conference. I'm walking on thin ice. If I don't show support for amway maybe he can start noticing what I see in it... Or he can think I'm not supporting him. Help :-(
Yup boyfriend shows the classic Amway ambot symptoms. Ambots are angry despicable bastards and make life hell for the people around them.
All Amway ambots get defensive. That’s the life of the ambot constantly showing their devotion to the Amway cult and how dare anyone not like Amway and not support their business. HOW DARE THEY!!!!! Amway ambots put a lot of effort into defending this scam and that makes them ANGRY.
Amway is king of all things negative. Amway ambots are obsessed with pointing out everything in the world that is negative. The rest of the world doesn’t seem to have this finger pointing thing down. What’s negative to one person isn’t too another. People in the real world learn to tolerate negatives maybe they read a book called Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff. People in the real world don’t have to pick pick pick at everything and bitch about things they think are negative. People in Amway make all things negative their life’s mission. Really an Amway ambot pointing out everything around them that is negative – there’s nothing unusual about that. They all do that. Amway ambots pointing out everything they perceive to be negative is how they make themselves feel superior to the rest of the world. The rest of the world perceives Amway ambots to be negative.
Amway ambots calling other people paranoid? Look in the mirror ambot!
Yeah an ambot will need a corporate job to afford being in the expensive Amway social club. No one in Amway admits to being in Amway because that’s just so fucking embarrassing admitting that you got suckered into this MLM cult and you’re out to scam people and recruit new cult members. Its better to say you’re unemployed.
And when we’re married to an ambot or dating one or living with one we’re always walking on thin ice. We’re fearful of saying the wrong thing like GET THE FUCK OUT OF AMWAY!!!!! and have the ambot anger directed our way. Ambots are the most angry people around. They’re angry because they’re losing money. Angry because they can’t find others to join up to the scam and make some money back. Angry they’re being abused by the cult followers they love and worship more than anything else in their lives. Angry because they’re ordered by their cult leaders to hang out with other fucking Amway assholes.
Here’s the good news. 95% of IBO’s quit Amway within 2 years. Most within a few months of signing up. You just got to wait them out and that can be hell with them nitpicking and finding everything negative about you they can point out and they only do that to please their upline. Sometimes you got to wait them out by watching them max out their credit cards and spend all their savings. Some can bounce back even if it takes them years. Others have to declare bankruptcy and go into foreclosure if they have a mortgage.
Amway is all about destroying relationships. The cult leaders turn the ambots into nasty, ugly, negative pointing out bastards so the people around them take a hike. That’s what Amway is all about. Sorry to say your story can be told nearly word for word by every Amway widow out there.
There is really no way to "support" an Ambot throwing money away into an obvious scam, no more than one can support a loved one's heroin addiction. And that's what the scam is... an addiction. Someone recently posted the perfect description of what they do. They get a victim dependent upon their lovebombing, positive "mentoring" and the victim becomes addicted to wanting to please them and get some kind of praise. The more time they spend with them, the more their lies and bullshit makes sense to them. That's the brainwashing taking hold. And why it is a cult. They become ingrained to see everything outside of the cult as being negative and they sneer at it, in order to feel superior being inside the cult. It's like with religious cults, being taught that they are the "chosen ones" and everyone else are inferior outsiders.
ReplyDeleteCertainly keep your money separate from his, as a broke, desperate Ambot will do anything to get his next "fix", even rob from their grandmother. And you probably won't want to get married until Amway is well in the rearview mirror because life only promises to get worse with an Ambot the deeper they sink into it.
But as Anna said, there is hope in that most people at some point wise up and will be faced with having to admit they got sucked into a scam and just cut their losses and chalk it up to the cost of the school of hard knocks.
You can support him for the person he is, but you have the right to not support something you know is ultimately bad for him. Both financially and how it has changed his personality for the worse.
In addition to being a cult Amway is an addiction and Amway would do a lot of good if they had a program running to help deprogram ambots when they want to leave their cult and to help recover from their addiction. That would be counter-productive to their pursuit of greed however putting out money for something that would increase their public perception.
DeleteDear Anna,
ReplyDeleteI first saw "the plan" back in 1998. A good friend of mine from high school gave me a box of stuff to try. Laundry soap and some cleaners along with a couple of energy bars. As a friend I agreed to give them a try. Being twenty four years old at the time I was not concerned with cleaning and could not tell the difference between Amway and Sunlight - go figure. Now let's fast forward some twenty one years. Six months ago I met a wonderful woman. She was beautiful, smart, fun and there was a real spark from the moment our lips touched. I still remember that first kiss....sigh. Now, as a man with young children from a failed marriage introducing my love interest to them requires a great deal. My kids are the most important part of my life so protecting them always comes first. Thus needing to be sure my girlfriend is serious about being part of our lives for the long term before they meet. This is the context in which I have been researching Amway for a number of months and why I am typing to you today.
I knew back in 1998 that the Amway business was built on a pyramid structure and I was not interested in prospecting my friends and family so I could make money off of them. How could anyone think taking a percentage of a loved ones work is a good thing? It just isn't. You wouldn't ask them to give you a piece of their pay cheque each and every month would you? So after months of reading your blog and those of others, along with youtube, Amway disclosure statements from the UK (similar Western country to mine) has proven to me that Amway is not something I would ever consider doing.
Today is the day. The day I confront my girlfriend. She is an IBO and has been for the last nine months or so. You must understand that I love this person and want to have her in my life desperately. Being part of my life means working together to provide for each other in every way; spiritually, financially, emotionally. Fear. It is what I am feeling now. Soon I will tell her that I will never be in Amway. Does she love me as much as I love her? Will she choose money over love? It seems WWDB teaches that you can delay love, somehow put it on hold. That it is OK to leave your kids to go to meetings because there will be plenty of time later to be with them. But as a parent and a man of some forty years I know without a doubt this is the biggest lie AMWAY could ever tell. Love must be felt, it must be given and tended to or it shrivels up and dies. WWDB's knows this. It is why they love bomb and make you go to endless meetings and listen to endless voice mails. They will try to replace those people in your life that care about you with the false promise of MONEY. Choose money over loved ones packaged as a part time job that will make you rich. As an adult I understand this fact - time waits for no man. Time passes and it passes quickly. Kids only have a very short time to be kids. In the blink of an eye they are suddenly five and then take a deep breath and they are nearly ten. You can not get back time, once it is gone it is gone forever. If they don't feel your love and see you putting them first in this moment they never will.
I would never try to rob someone of their dream. My intention is to ask my girlfriend to delay Amway. To step back and give our love a chance to blossom further. It is my understanding that WWDB's puts family first in principal so we shall see if they do in practice. If she will not do this then I will ask her to give me a date at which time if she has not made a profit that she will close down her business. There is no way I could allow money to be slowly siphoned and precious time wasted on any business. Why be in business if you are not making a profit? Understand too that I do not worship money, Cash never said "I love you" and greed does not keep lift up your soul. Amway is built on greed plain and simple, "Get rich quick only 2-5 years", "2-4-6 is easy and then you will never have to worry again".... LIES.
Hi Anonymous. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
DeleteWWDB = World Wide Destructive Bastards. There's nothing that brings these assholes more happiness than destroying other people's relationships. You can be pretty sure the assholes in your girlfriend's upline are putting the pressure on her to end the relationship because you're not in Amway or you don't support her business. Amway is not the only religious cult out there that doesn't want their members in relationships outside of their religious grouping. The Amway cult of greed, like other cults, wants to keep their followers separated from friends, family who can talk some sense into the IBO and make them understand they've been scammed and will never make money.
You sound like a responsible father and absolutely protecting your children from the Amway cult is your highest responsibility. There are too many comments left on this blog from children of ambots and the horrible life they led with absent parents and being shunned by their classmates due to the parents involvement in the Amway cult.
Your girlfriend is probably accusing you of not supporting her in her (pretend) business. If her last name isn't VanAndel or Devos she does NOT own an Amway business. She's simply a commissioned salesperson for the people who do own an Amway business. What if she owned a vintage clothing store say 1920's flapper fashions for women and she was losing money every month. As a responsible person who cares about her, you'd try to point out to her that the cost of running her business versus the income is putting her in the hole. Would she accuse you of not supporting her business and buying from her. Your argument could be that you have no desire to be a cross dresser. And no matter how many people you've talked up her store to, no one wants to buy women's flapper clothes.
Contrary to what WWDB "teachings" might be about being family oriented its all lies when push comes to shove. Ask her to make a list of 10 things in the order of importance to her. She might put her children first, maybe other extended family members, perhaps you'll be in the top 10. Its all lies. The reality is Amway or various other Amway activities or products will be in the top 10. Her family will never be as important to her as Amway, as long as she is being brainwashed by the cult leaders, and therefore neither will you or your children be as important to her as Amway.
Are you willing to settle? A box of laundry soap will be more important to her than you ever will be. Coming in behind a can of energy drink?
You know the answer. And perhaps if she wasn't part of the Amway cult she'd be perfect for you. You and your children are putting yourself into a life of misery if you hook up with someone in Amway. Good on you for putting your children first. They're obviously more important to you than a case of Amway water!
Good luck with figuring this out.
Anna,
DeleteWell I am happy to say my Girlfriend chose me over WWBD!!!
I want to thank you and your group for helping me to understand and prepare for the 3 days of negotiating, the tears, guilt and finally overwhelming joy. If it weren't for you and the other great blogs out there I really think I would have failed. The Amspeak, brainwashing and cultism of Amway and WWDB has been finely crafted over many decades. Average people like myself would have and almost impossible chance (much like an IBO reaching Diamond) in defeating this monster.
My advice to anyone that might attempt to break the grip this evil has on their loved one is to be prepared, know what the masters at Amway have taught the IBO's and counter with facts and your own contrary analogies (they love to use analogies to hide facts) to use against them. She tried to use the Ford dealer would never buy a Chevy but I knew it was coming and countered with but a Ford dealer would certainly buy a Ferrari wouldn't he. Have the book Merchants of Deception at the ready for them to read with highlighted sections and the Dateline NBC video. I did all of these things and still had to drop the final Ultimatum bomb - Love or Money.
Good luck to all those trying to find a way to get their significant others back.
For those that need a financial bullet. She was CORE attended all 4 major functions, had two downline over the course of one year. Expenses (includes Amway products) 7K, Gross income including a decent amount of product sales 3K, Net loss 4K in one year.
Hi Anonymous. I'm happy to hear that too! Your story is an interesting trend that's developing in the past 3 years or so where its the woman who's the Amway Ambot. Usually its the man. In addition to dealing with a system designed for failure, over 99% of IBO's don't make money, its a double edged sword for a woman because Amway is a good old boy's club run by male chauvinist pigs so a woman has to tough it out against that obstacle of being discriminated against because she was born a woman. How many single women are out there who stayed single the whole time in Amway and got to any level like Diamond? Would that be zippo?
DeleteAmway Ambots have a canned Amspeak response for just about any objection a person can come up with, many of those lines covered here and in other blogs. But you had all the tools to reason with her. And she's lucky her net loss was only 4K. I've had people leave comments than they lost $50,000, and maybe more than that. In Amway the cult leaders don't encourage their followers to keep a profit and loss statement. Most of the cult members are not good business people and probably don't have it in them to be a good business person if they can't keep simple accounting records - what's being spent versus how much income. There are stories all over the Internet from former Amway cult members who lost their house, got divorced, alienated all their friends and family. There are seniors who emptied out their retirement account as part of worshipping the Great Amway God. And now they have a grim future because their days of earning are behind them. You didn't mention how old your girlfriend is but I'm guessing mid-20's prime age for Amway recruiting prospects. So at least she is still young enough to recover financially and emotionally. Learned a hard lesson about being scammed along the way and how a cult can take over your life.
Best of luck to you moving forward with your relationship. You're definitely a keeper for her. She's very lucky to have someone who cared enough about her to make a huge effort to get her out of the Amway cult.
Hello OP,
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that I'm in the same situation as you...except it's my gf that is in the "business". We have been dating for almost a year and she was abducted into amway about two to three months ago. When she first joined, she told me she met two great people through her mutual friend that have retired early.
Wow! That's awesome, but how did they do it? What do you mean you can't tell me and that they have to set up a meeting for me to get more information if I was really interested?
That was the first red flag for me. Her not being able to tell me from her own mouth how they seemed to achieve early retirement in their 30's indicated that something wasn't right.
I've been asked to join MLM schemes multiple times so I feel like I know what to look out for. They all ask what your dreams are, aspirations, what the end game looks like and how you're going to get there. At first, it seems like your friend or spouse is generally interested in getting to know you, but don't you think we would have gotten through this formalities in the first couple months of being together? Weird, how could you forget? Then they offer you an idea that they could set you up with someone to help you achieve your dreams quicker! The problem is it that they never stop.
I've known about my girlfriend being in Amway even when she didn't tell me what her "business" was when she first started. I've bit my tongue because I want her to figure it out herself.
She tells me that she's going to be "financially free, financially free within 2-5 years!" but she never tells me how she's doing it. She told me she has big dreams to becoming a millionaire before she's 40 and that she won't have to work another day in her life.
For some, that's achievable but it's not realistic. I mentioned to her that I want to go back to school and become an MD. She asked me why I would want to slave away racking up debt in school when I could be making money now and never have to worry about that. I told her because debt doesn't matter when I'm a Doctor. I will be able to pay off my debt so damn fast my own head will spin. I feel as though I'm venting.
I really don't know what to do. I love this girl and I fear for our future.
- P.
Hi P. You got to decide whether you want to come in 2nd place to a box of soap. There is nothing more important to your girlfriend than everything Amway. That's what being brainwashed by this cult does.
DeleteAnd you've described common Amway tactic of being secretive about what these "entrepreneurs" do for a living. The mysterious "sharp businessman" who wants to meet you for coffee to tell you more. They want to get you in front of one of their best closers. You ask real entrepreneurs like Donald Trump what they do for a living and they'll tell you. No reason to be secretive unless you're a drug dealer or an Amway ambot!