Monday, July 20, 2015

I'm A Failure At Being An Amway Asshole

One of the prerequisites to becoming an Amway IBO is that you have to be an asshole. The biggest fucking jerk asshole around. If you're not a good liar before signing up to the Amway cult you have to show willingness to be a liar. You have to sneer at people who won't buy your shitty, overpriced Amway products and people who don't want anything to do with Amway. You have to pretend that “business is going great!” Fake it till you make it!

I failed at being an Amway liar. I'm too truthful. If the Amway business is the shits – no sales, unable to scam prospects into signing up, then I'm honest and say it like it is. I failed at being an Amway asshole due to my failure to be a liar.

I failed at being an Amway scammer. I can't in good conscience tell people that overpriced, shitty Amway products are “priced to reflect their quality” as we're taught at Scamway meetings. If that were true Amway would be flogging their shit in stores called “nothing more than a buck”. I failed at being an Amway asshole due to my failure to be a scammer.

Again I failed at being an Amway scammer when it comes to Amway's shitty, overpriced products. The ones we're supposed to convince people they taste good or have all these miraculous medical healing powers if they're consumed. I'm a tell it like it is person. XS energy drinks taste how I imagine a combination of cat piss and the worst cough syrup out there must taste like. Same thing with food bars. Its like a rice cake/cardboard combo that was dipped in the cheapest ass chocolate. Tastes like shit! Again I failed at being an Amway asshole due to my failure to scam people into believing shitty Amway products actually taste good.

I failed at living the Amway mantra “don't say negative” the credo that all Amway assholes live by. If I think the fucking assholes in our Amway upline are a bunch of fucking assholes then I call them as I see them. If I think an Amway product tastes the shits I call it as I see it. If I think an Amway cleaning products doesn't work worth a shit I call it as I see it. Its called being truthful. A word foreign to Amway assholes who call the truth by a different word – negative. I failed at being an Amway asshole because I know the difference between telling the truth and negative.

I failed at being an immoral Amway asshole. I wouldn't say I have overly high standards but I do believe its immoral to screw over other people. Its called being a decent human being and not bringing misery to other people's lives. Just because some fucking Amway asshole convinced my Ambot to sign up with the Amway scam and the only way we have any chance of recovering any of the money we lost is to sign up other people so they can lose money too, I can't do it. That's immoral. A code that Amway assholes live by. I'm a failure at being an Amway asshole because I have morals and refused to bring misery to others.

I failed at pretending the Amway assholes in our upline are godlike creatures. I mean fuck. Just fuck. They're just a bunch of dumb shits who signed up to Scamway before us and that gives them the right to expect everyone in their downline to kiss their asses? Not in my book. I'm a failure at being an Amway asshole because I refuse to kiss the asses of the fucking assholes in our Amway upline.

I failed at being a bank for the assholes in our Amway upline. Why the hell should I buy shitty overpriced Amway products just so you bastards in the Amway upline can make a few pennies off me in commission? This is our hard earned money. I failed at being an Amway asshole because I don't want to hand over my money to a bunch of fucking Amway assholes.

I failed at not “putting in the work” when it comes to being an Amway scammer. I know this because all these fucking Amway assholes show up to this blog to leave a comment shrieking about how I “didn't put the work in” even though when I ask them to define what “putting the work in” means, they run off and disappear like all fucking little Amway assholes do. Seeing as how Amway assholes go around accusing others of “not putting in the work” and I don't - I fail to be an Amway asshole.

I failed at being an obedient Amford wife that all the assholes in the good old boys Amway male chauvinist pig club demand the wives be. Wives are expected to behave from another era, the turn of the century and not talking the most recent turn of the century. In this day and age women are allowed to think for themselves and equality to men isn't considered unusual. Women are not allowed these freedoms in Amway where the man is the head of the household and anything the women wants or thinks is inconsequential and women are not allowed to have jobs and must stay home. In this day and age women who are not brainwashed by a cult think that's a bunch of bullshit. I failed to be a fucking Amway asshole because I believe in equality for women and I refuse to let a bunch of fucking brainwashed Amway Ambots tell me how to live my life.

Add them all up and its not hard to see why I failed at being an Amway asshole.

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Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.