Amway motto: sell the hope not the soap. But for you poor bastards
that bought the laundry soap here's the Amway guide to doing laundry.
1. Always buy Amway laundry soap. Legacy of Clean SA8 3x
concentrate costs around $30.00. The usage rate is 100 uses per
bottle and Amway’s recommended use is 7 uses per week. That means
you’re doing laundry every day so don’t bitch about it! You run
that fucking washing machine every day even if there’s only a
couple of socks in it. The Great Amway God says the quicker you run
out of Amway laundry soap the sooner you can buy another
expensive bottle.
Remember to bully everyone you know into buying Amway’s laundry
soap. You need to learn to overcome their objections like there are
lots of laundry detergent choices at Walmart’s. Why would anyone
want to buy All Small & Mighty 3x concentrate that does 100
loads and costs around $10.00 when they can spend more money for the
same size of Amway’s Legacy of Clean. You need to bullshit your
buyers into believing the reason they are spending 3 times more money
for laundry soap is because Amway’s laundry soap is 3 times more
concentrated and the high price reflects its high quality.
2. Wash in hot water. You’ll need to if you want any hope in
hell of actually getting your clothes clean using Amway laundry soap.
As for the environmental impact and the higher costs of running a
laundry load at hot all the time - and remember Amway recommends all
good little ambots do 7 loads of laundry a week so that’s at least
daily - just remember the Amway IBO slogan - “who cares”.
3. Always use your dryer to dry your clothes. Who cares if other
people are being environmentally friendly and saving money by line
drying their clothes. The other benefit of using your dryer instead
of hanging your clothes on the clothesline is that you can buy Amway
Fabric Softener Sheets for the dryer 2 x 200 count boxes for around
$17.00. You want a good laugh on those ignoramuses using the
clothesline? Amway also sells the sheets in a scent called “Outdoor
Fresh” so there is no need to hang your clothes on a line
and save energy and money! You know what ambots call people who are
environmentally friendly and hang their clothes on a clothesline
instead of using a dryer and Amway dryer sheets? Losers!
If any of your friends point out that Snuggle sells 200 count
fabric sheets for $6.00 remember your old stand by response that the
reason Amway products are so high priced is to reflect the high
quality. Remember to look for someone who is dumb ass enough to stock
up on 400 high quality sheets fabric sheets and tell them to toss
several into the dryer at a time because if they did one sheet per
load it would take them years to buy another box from you again and
you probably will have quit Amway by then.
4. Use extra Amway laundry soap. Keep in mind that Amway’s
laundry soap does not do that good a job of getting your clothes
clean so its a good idea to overfill above the line on the cap when
filling the detergent. The added benefit is you will also go through
your laundry soap a whole lot faster and be able to buy more Amway
laundry soap very soon and get that old PV BV up there!
5. If your washing machine dies you must buy a brand new washer
AND dryer even if there is nothing wrong with the old dryer. Don’t
even dare think about going to Charlie’s Discount Appliances
Emporium! You must ask your Platinum’s permission before you buy a
new washer and dryer and get the sack of shit’s advice on where to
buy. The bastard will know somebody in another leg or crossline who
can sell you a new washer and dryer. Don’t expect to get a good
deal on your new machines. After all the IBO selling them must make a
good commission so he can buy more Amway tools and grease the
Platinum’s palm for the referral on the sale.
6. Do not waste money buying an energy efficient washer and dryer.
Remember the Amway IBO attitude when it comes to conserving energy
and being environmentally friendly and saving money - who cares!
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