Monday, October 12, 2015

Ambot Desperate To Retrieve Puny Check

Check out this video. I’ll help out with the translation and keeping the cast of characters straight.

Comrade 1 – the man with his hand in the fish mouth

Comrade 2 – the man trying to help him get his hand out

Comrade 3 – filming the action and finds a stick to help

Comrade 4 – Comrade 1’s Amway upline

Comrade 1: Help!

Comrade 2: How did you get your hand stuck in that fish’s mouth?

Comrade 1: This fish ate my Amway check  and I’m trying to get it back.

Comrade 2: How much is that check for?

Comrade 1: $9.18

Comrade 2: Holy shit! After all those long hours you spend being a commissioned Amway salesman you only made $9.18. Christ! Just let that fish eat the fucking check. It’s not worth losing your hand over.

Comrade 1: Don’t say negative!

Comrade 2: Here’s a stick. I’ll see if I can pry open the fish’s mouth with it.

Comrade 1: No! Not that stick! I bought it from Amway for $100!

Comrade 2: Are you fucked in the head? You spend $100 for this shitty little stick? I can go to the hardware store and buy a stick just like this out of their junk pile for .50¢.

Comrade 1: Aren’t you willing to pay more money for higher quality?

Comrade 2: No! Why do you want to pay more money for something you can buy at the store that costs way less money.

Comrade 3: Oh for fuck’s sake. Just use this stick I picked up off the ground.

Comrade 2: That free stick is better quality than your $100 stick. I can’t believe you spent that much money buying a stick. How much money did you spend on Amway products this month?

Comrade 1: Around $300.

Comrade 2: Are you a fucking moron? You can get a job selling fish at the market and make more money than that. When I get your hand out of this fish I’m taking it to the market and I’m going to sell it for $20 so I’ll make more money for a few minutes work than you make in Amway after putting in a hundred hours of work.

Comrade 3: Yeah, who’s making more money with less effort.

Comrade 1: Shut up. Here comes my upline. Oh hallowed, beloved leader of mine. This fish ate my Amway check. This fish is a negative unchristian dreamstealer.

Comrade 4: You didn’t ask my permission if you could put your hand in this fish’s mouth and get that check back.

Comrade 2: What?!!! You’ve got to ask your Amway upline’s permission before you do anything! What kind of cult did you get yourself into? OK that should do it. Pull your hand out.

Comrade 1: Not without my Amway check.

Comrade 2: Just let the fish eat it.

Fish: This Amway check tastes like shit!


  1. Anna, that's hysterically funny!

    Yeah, you have to ask your up-line if it's OK to take a piss. Amway is more rigidly hierarchical than the Prussian army. The people in it are robots and zombies.

  2. Always one of my favorites!

  3. hysterical Anna! love it! thanks for a good laugh!

    1. LOL! Glad you loved it! LOL. Glad you enjoyed the laugh!

  4. Oh, Holy crap. Or, I'd write this scenario as the fucking fish is the Scamway upline biting the hand that feeds them and not wanting to let go 'cause they're a losing Diamond sack of shit. Yep, losing dowlines right and left, desperately trying to hang on to their farce of an Amway scheme. Comrades 2 & 3 are struggling to get their comrade free of the Scamway grip of evil. Sorry, I'm experienced at what Scamway does to ruin other peoples lives. Have family members caught up in the cult and they can't seem to get free from the cult.

    1. LOL. That sounds about right. As you said Amway getting their grip on ambots is no different than that fish getting a grip on the diver! But it is funny!

  5. Pretty funny!!

    Can I get your email address?? I want to ask you some personal questions??

    Thank you

    1. Hi Charlene. Just leave your questions in the comment box and ask that we don't publish it for all to see but I'm unlikely to answer personal questions. We used to have our email address on the blog but had to remove it after a few months due to an amorous visitor. And then the following year the banana who keeps the blog up and running became the victim of a cyberstalker so we have to keep people safe. Amway Ambots have no problem breaking the law.

  6. Hi Anna,

    As a new IBO, I went thru something like this. I feel trapped now. So my question is how do i get out? Call amway, kate and WWDB to cancel my subscriptions?

    I have noticed over the last 4 months as a new IBO, I have spend close to $4000 buying their stuff which getting back little commissions and more membership fees.

    Oh well lesson learned

    Please advise

    1. Hi Charlene. Sorry to hear you lost all that money to Scamway. Most people figure out after a few months they're not making money, not making sales, and not signing up new recruits and all of the above won't happen either. People get excited and throw lots of money at the Amway scam in the beginning. I hope you're young enough to bounce back financially. And yes you have to contact all of them to say you quit and don't charge your credit card again. It might be easier to call your credit card company and say you lost it and ask for a new card.

      Many people in Amway feel trapped and if you've learned a lesson to stay away from MLM scams in the future then just consider the money you lost as part of your education. Good luck getting out of this mess and moving on with your life.

      Oh yes expect some very nasty texts and phone calls from the assholes in your Amway upline when they find out you quit.

    2. Anna is right. Those sweet, friendly, smiling, loving, positive "friends" you made in Amway will show their true colors once they hear you are quitting. They'll mock you, they'll rebuke you, they'll say you are a quitter and a loser and will end up dead and broke. That you didn't give the "plan" time to work. But as Anna pointed out, there would never be enough time for it to work because it is a flawed plan based on the pyramid of recruitment that never comes to fruition. As are most MLM schemes. If they won't cooperate in regards to charging you for things, as Anna mentioned, just call your credit card company and say you "lost" your card and they will issue a new one that Amway doesn't have.

      Time to cut your losses. Yeah, losing $4000 stings, but imagine Ambot "lifers" who are so addicted and brainwashed, they are still it in 10 years later, struggling, many having lost homes and lost friends and family, and still thinking "success is just around the corner". Very sad, but at least you won't be one of them.

    3. Hey thanks Anonymous from those of us on the receiving end of shit from the assholes in the Amway upline when quitting. Angry ambots when they lose a downline can be the most vicious motherfuckers out there. Yeah that's a lot of money to get scammed out of but some have left comments their losses in tens of thousands and higher not to mention the emotional damage. Hope she recovers soon.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.