Thursday, June 30, 2016
Ambot Dick Wastes A Weekend At Amway Family Reunion
(Thanks Dick for sharing your story!)
I remember one year we were driving down to a major function.
It was myself, my wife, another couple in our downline, and a single guy in our downline (all friends of ours before the amway scam and still friends till this very day). We had recently replaced my wife's car with a brand new van. One of those Ford Wind-star or Something-Star. Can't remember the exact model name, but it was super luxo, comfy, cushiony, roomy... Just perfect for a road trip. So I suggested we all go down together. We were friends as I mentioned so it wouldn't be like driving for hours with a bunch of people that made us uncomfortable. Basically, we could all be ourselves and enjoy the ride, stop and eat, take in some sights etc. The wives insisted we have some fun cause they never were into the whole amway scam-- they were just being good wives and playing along.
So. It's a HOT summer day--Hotter than most. We live in Canada and are driving to the US. So like any NORMAL human being would do on a day like that-- we were all wearing shorts, tank-tops, sandals... You know-- beach attire. The a/c was blasting, the van was cold, and we were all super comfy.
We pull up to the Canada/US border and what do we see??? Ambots everywhere!!!! Hahahahaha.
Now one of the reasons I love to read your blog so much is because I can just visualize some of the stuff you describe and I'm really into the details. I remember reading your post about the clunker brigade lol. I don't think the border guards had ever seen a bigger collection of oil leaking, black smoke spewing, clikering clackering, rusted 17 year old Corollas and Civics at one time... EVER.
So we look over to one particular sub-sub-compact shitbox that looks like this -------- and we see 5, count em-- FIVE ambots, all suited up with their fine Italian suits from Walmart (lololol). Wearing their full gear, ties bound all the way to the top, strangling them. Now keep in mind it's 32 degrees Celsius (89 degrees Fahrenheit) and probably closer to 120f with the humidity factored in. And judging from the amount of sweat, (I'd say perspiration but believe me-- this was SWEAT), on their faces and on their suits, the a/c in their fine automobile was NOT working.
Because of all these serious business people all crossing the border at the same approx time-- we were at a near stand still. We didn't mind much cause it would give us a chance to stretch our legs as we slowly crept up to the border guard booth.
So.... Out of our icy cold van comes the unmarried guy in my downline (we'll call him Bill). Bill, like most of my downline and myself-- was into the biz as a biz (till we figured out it was impossible to make money) but couldn't really deal with the stuffiness of the ambots. And this particular guy was a little ruff around the edges but a good person none the less. So picture this....
Bill just woke up, he gets out, scratches his head, yawns in a real annoying way-- kinda loudly and rudely, looks over at that car which was parallel to us, realizes they're a bunch of ambots, looks at them... looks again, looks closer, and yells -- "what-da fuck is wrong wit ya ga-eeezzz?!?!?!?!.... It's fucking boilin!!!!" Imagine the sheer horror in the ambots' eyes. They looked over completely shocked, saw Bill in his shorts scratching himself, and quickly looked forward, in fear.
My married guy friend and I, under the full protection of the new van's dark, factory-tinted windows, were both laughing so hard that I had to hold my private parts for fear of peeing on myself. I didn't recognize any of the ambots in that particular car but still-- I was sure that eventually, we'd show up at some local event driving that particular van and we'd run into them, and someone would recognize that it had been us that day... but I just didn't care-- I couldn't stop laughing.
It was 150 degrees for sure with the five of them in that car, and you know how polyester goes with humidity... Hahahaha. They were baking in there for sure, but they probably attributed it to the fact that they were so-- fired up, fired up!!!! Yuk!!
I asked the girls how the hell someone could dress that way on a day like that and cram into a car and drive for hours.
My wife's opinion....
These stupid bastards are driving down there in those clothes cause they haven't brought any other clothes with them. They have no intention of paying for a hotel. Whenever there is down time (1:00am to 8:00am) they're gonna hang around a 24 hour Starbucks just waiting for the the function to begin. Hey-- why pay for lodging when you could stand around all night as to not wrinkle your suit!!
She was probably right.