Amway Ambots Are Piss Poor At Marketing

For people who run real businesses, marketing is a part of making our business successful.

For Amway Ambots who run pretend businesses they don’t do marketing. Begging and pleading with someone to buy your overpriced shitty products or come to a Scamway meeting is not what I’d call marketing. But then Amway Ambots are commissioned salespeople following Amway’s rules. Not to mention obeying their Amway cult leader’s orders. The real marketing is done by employees at Amway’s head office. The marketing department works for Amway’s owners and here’s a good time to point out again that if your last name ain’t VanAndel or DeVos then you don’t own an Amway business or have a marketing department on your salary. You’re a commissioned salesperson for the owners of the Amway business who fuck with minds by calling their commissioned salesforce IBO’s – Independent Business Owners. LOL!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Imaginary Business Owners is more like it LOL! Brainwashed much you fucking Amway losers!!!! LOL!!!!!! Amway’s marketing department spends scads of money flogging their scam to attract victims. $40 million to put their name on an arena in Orlando for 10 years. Unknown amount of money to open a business location at the Mets stadium. Years ago Amway paid Miss America as a spokesperson to flog their cosmetics and to this day Ambots claims she still does this - - - for free! LOL! Ads on television. You don’t see individual Amway ambots doing any of that shit.

Ask any business owner what makes their business different than their competitors and they probably say something about their exceptional customer service, how they focus on the customer and treat the customer. All business owners say that and although many like to believe they offer exceptional customer service, they probably don’t. More so if they rely on minimum wage employees to offer that exceptional customer service. Especially if it’s a high turnover type job like in food or retail. The employee is just there to make money. They’re gone when they find a better job that gives them a pay increase of 50¢ an hour.

Here’s more marketing things real business owners do:

1.     They have a marketing plan. They figure out who their target customers are and focus on marketing strategies to that demographic. They don’t waste time and money trying to reel in customers who don’t have a need for their product or service. Let’s go back to the above where Amway Ambots marketing plan consists of begging and pleading with everyone they know to buy overpriced shitty Amway products they don’t need. Get fucking real! Most of the world wants to buy good products at a good price, not pay big bucks for generic and substandard products. Not everyone wants to buy energy drinks that taste like cat piss or snake oil vitamins or leaky tampons. Its’s called knowing your market and Amway Ambots SUCK at that.

2.     Ask any Amway Ambot if they know what SWOT is and they probably think it’s part of the police. LOL!!!! The SWOT analysis assesses your businesses Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. OK let’s analyze an Amway Ambot’s pretend business. Strengths? Anyone? Anyone? Sorry a pretend business has no strengths, no survival possible. Weaknesses? Selling overpriced shitty products that no one wants. No possible survival in the business marketplace. Opportunities? To an Amway Ambot that probably means going Platinum and going Diamond. Threats? What poses unfavorable conditions to the “business”? Let’s start off with this blog and similar places on the Internet where victims of the Amway scam talk about our financial and emotional distress and warn others not to make the same mistake we made. Amway’s shitty reputation precedes them.

3.     Any Amway Ambots perform a marketing audit? Seeing as how they don’t do things that real business owners do such as come up with a business plan, then a marketing audit goes out the window. No business plan, how can you know if you’re on target when you do a marketing audit.

4.     Know the competition. I’m not talking other pyramid scheme MLMs. The biggest competition to Amway is just about every product they sell, people can buy a better quality product at the grocery store or department store for a much lower price. Amway Ambot’s response goes something like Amway products are priced to reflect their high quality. LOL!!! Ha ha ha ha!!! Yup everyone just about pees their pants when they hear that bullshit! Another Amway Ambot Amspeak goes something to the effect that Amway products are the best out there. Again try not to pee your pants laughing! Phrases like that are what labels Amway Ambots as liars.

5.     Customer retention. Part of marketing is keeping your existing customers while winning over new customers. In Amway, ambots are all about alienating people. Insulting people who won’t buy their shitty overpriced products. Sneering at people who have J.O.B.s. Putting down people who won’t come to Amway meetings. The list goes on and on. Real business owners don’t use those marketing tactics if they want to remain in business.

6.     Learn from your experience. We try different marketing methods and figure out what works and what doesn’t work. Amway Ambots bitch at the rest of the world as part of their marketing methods screeching out Amspeak like broke loser unchristian dreamstealer and you’ll be dead at 65. How is that marketing strategy working out for them?

7.     Marketing trends. Real business owners are on the lookout for new marketing trends to help increase profits. I don’t see any Amway Ambots doing that.

There are other marketing tools that real business owners use. Marketing is part of the job for a business owner, or if the company is big enough to hire employees then hires marketing people, but for small business usually the owner is the marketing department.

If you’re an Amway Ambot and you don’t have a business plan that includes marketing strategies…. Oh well. Not that important when you’re playing pretend big shot business owner and spending all day on the cell phone and all night hanging out with other Ambots at Amway cult meetings. Pretend business owners don’t have to worry about marketing. That would take too much time away from worshipping the Great Amway God.