I'd like the following ten things, please:
1) A 4000 PV for the next three months.
2) To be "edified" by my up-line in glowing language.
3) Receive free tickets to Dream Night, Family Reunion, and Free Enterprise Day.
4) Latch onto six new hot prospects to become IBOs, and complete my 6-4-2 plan.
5) Be able to afford the expense of the next tidal wave of books, CDs, and tapes from my up-line.
6) To get a replacement for my broken-down, rattletrap Amway Shitmobile.
7) To have enough cash to cover my three late mortgage payments to the bank.
8) To be able to empty out my garage of boxes of unsold SA8 and LOC.
9) To finally convince my family and friends to talk to me again.
10) To actually show a financial profit from my Amway business after these last fifteen years of fruitless work.
If you give me these ten things, Santa, I'll actually believe that you exist. Just like I believe that Amway is a real business, and not an absurd rip-off.
Andrew Airhead Asshole,
Amway Distributor and IBO