Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Qualifications For Landing Amway Customer Service Job

I get a lot of hits from a reader(s) in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Most of them are affiliated with Alticor/Amway. They love Anna Banana! Gotta get their daily dose!

I got a hit from someone in Grand Rapids searching how to get a customer service job with Amway.

My first thought is what kind of scum sucking low life son of a bitch wants to work for a company that is responsible for destroying lives, causing financial distress, bankruptcies, debt, divorces, etc, etc. Then I remember I was watching the news and there was a segment about people who got laid off from their jobs two years ago, three years ago and some of them are desperate to accept any kind of job. So I shouldn’t judge some poor unfortunate soul who is so desperate to get a job that they’d apply to Scamway. Desperation causes people to lower themselves to accept jobs with shitty companies just to get a paycheck.

Average companies have 20% of their employees that actually like their job, 60% who don’t give a shit one way or another its just a job, and 20% who hate their jobs. Thats how it is. Average companies have 80% of their employees, some who might like their job but mostly its just a paycheck, who would leave their company in a second if they found a better job somewhere else. I’ve dealt with Amway’s customer service department and I can tell you that I was obviously dealing with people in the 80%! I have a clear picture of what the qualifications are to get a job as an Amway customer service employee so hopefully this list will help if Grand Rapids job searcher comes back to my blog.

Qualifications to get a job as an Amway customer service agent:

  1. Ability to be nasty to others
  2. Good at lying
  3. Poor communication skills
  4. Don’t give a shit about helping others
  5. Poor problem solving ability
  6. Argumentative
  7. Not looking for long term employment
  8. Arrogant
  9. Hate talking to people
  10. No experience necessary and we don’t train
  11. Have a rotten personality
  12. Be discourteous to customers
  13. Hate holding down a job
  14. Unhelpful
  15. Inappropriate time management skills
  16. Inability to complete tasks
  17. Ineffective customer follow up
  18. Clock watchers
  19. No particular desire to move up in the company
  20. Refuse to do anything that requires immediate attention
  21. Following company procedures optional
  22. Strong superiority complex
  23. Not flexible
  24. Ability to effectively convey to the customer how bored you are with them
  25. No sense of humor
  26. Able to push buttons and cause anger and rage in clients
  27. Ability to make people hate you and hate the company
No happy, helpful personality types who actually love their jobs need apply!!! Lazy ass bastards are absolutely encouraged to apply. This is your dream job come true!!!


  1. Actually, Amway encourages this kind of bad attitude in its customer service employees.

    The reason is simple: Amway DOESN'T WANT to provide customer service! It considers any kind of dissatisfaction or complaint to be a bother and an annoyance. Therefore it encourages its customer service employees to be unhelpful and dismissive.

    Besides this, there is the plain fact that all MLMs are not really concerned with ordinary retail customers, since the engine behind the business is recruitment while the sale of products is just a cover. A genuine retail business has to be concerned with customer dissatisfaction. A fake MLM business like Amway doesn't.

    1. Anonymous - companies who actually care about their customers want to make things right. Whether that means an apology, a refund, exchange, or more investigation into incidents.

      Amway doesn't give a fuck about customers, IBO's, or much else of anything other than how the owners can get richer.

      If a company that cares about its customers sees someone who's pissed off posting on social media or on a blog they'd contact the person and see what they can do to make it right and make the problem go away. A company doing the right thing gets praise online for fixing the problem.

      Amway doesn't give a fuck. That's the kind of arrogance we're dealing with here.

      Amway's customer service department aka the I-don't-give-a-fuck department are the most unhelpful bastards around. You know how Ambots go around bragging that Amway has a 180 day money back guarantee. If you've ever had to phone in and try to get your money back you're faced with a wall of opposition from the I-don't-give-a-fuck department so most people drop it and give up trying to get their money back. Which is what Amway counts on.

      Amway's reputation is so tarnished there's nothing in it for them to suddenly start providing good customer service or try to do the right thing and make the customer happy.

      Amway isn't the only business out there that doesn't give a fuck about good customer service but it's the only business that we discuss around here. As you pointed out, a real business that cares about its reputation is concerned about customer dissatisfaction. A pyramid scheme MLM that is brainwashing its sales reps into thinking they're running a fake business, doesn't give a fuck.

  2. Hi Anna-- I love your blog--thanks for all the laughs. I was hoping to get your thoughts on Betsy DeVos now being the Secretary of Education. Why don't we hear more about her Amway connections in the news? Can you imagine a future where, in order for kids to get a proper education, they have to get their parents to sign up for Amway? Scary to even think about.

    1. Hi Aaron. Thanks for stopping by. Glad you love the blog. Around here we aim to entertain as well as educate. Don't get us started on that fucking Betsy bitch who thinks guns are OK in schools due to the grizzly bear threat LOL! I'm pretty sure she's going to push for all the schools to buy Amway cleaning supplies and stock the vending machines with Amway shit. Not to mention sometime we can look forward to all parents signing up to Scamway if they want their kids to go to school. Scary shit. Amway is true life horror story.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.