Thursday, November 16, 2017

Amway Ambots Love Amway Goads

For those of you who have had to put up with listening to the Amway band the Goads and occasionally stop by here looking information about them, you’ve come to the wrong place! Ha! I remember hearing them. I guess they’re good enough, but not memorable and not interesting enough to write about. Someone once left a comment with the titles of the songs they sing and yeah they’re all about motivating Amway ambots.

Time to really know what an Amway goad is. To be goaded by an Amway ambot.

Here’s a few things I found in online dictionaries for the meaning of the word “goad” all that apply very well when used to describe an Amway IBO.

- to make a person or an animal react or do something by continuously annoying or upsetting them
- a pointed rod used to make an animal move forward
- someone or something that urges or forces someone to do something
- something that pains as if by pricking

All of those apply to what its like being abused by the fucking assholes in your Amway upline! The most fucking annoying goading bastards around are all in Amway.

Is it any wonder that Amway uses a musical group at Amway functions and names them “the goads”? Ha ha ha. Very fitting description for anything Amway!!!!

A former Amway lifer shares their story:

I stumbled upon your site after searching for "The Goads", since I was curious if they existed, let me explain.

I was a "lifer" in Amway back in the 80's-90's.

I was quite fluent in "the plan" and could "persuade" (I have to be careful how I say that, since if you "chose" the right people, they didn't need persuading), and "candidate" that this was the best way to financial freedom. It certainly makes sense that the most common persons to approach are young unassuming "go getters" (I never used so many quotation marks) or someone who is a solid business man. One has no idea what is ahead of them and the other has the money to "invest".

Anyway all that has been said is true in that there is a clear deception in what is going on there. Yes, I know a person who still has their "dream" does not see it that way, but lets look at a few thing they don't tell you.

1. "If you work hard at it, you will succeed". Now they carefully don't tell you how long that will be, since they have no idea. That works in their favor both ways. One, as long as your in you purchase the products and "essentials", which leads to at the next question, but I'll get to that. On the other hand if you decide to leave for ANY reason, you've lost your "dream".

2. It will cost you now, but when you make it, it will be a business that allows you the free time to do what you want. Cost? That's an understatement. If you've got kids, sorry, if you're struggling to pay off debt, don't worry about it, once your business kicks in, you can pay for all that and more. (Heard this all before?) So after putting in countless hours showing the plan, driving to meetings and getting out to "contact" people, that doesn't leave much time for the family. Again, this is why to seek out the young and "unattached" (no kids). Now how long was that again until I can be successful? You just have to work at it hard, uh huh.

3. You MUST attend the "functions" (another word for con-vention, good choice by the way). Now let me get this right. I can't take my kids anywhere and have no money to take my wife out to dinner, but I NEED to spend money I don't have so that I can keep my "dream" alive? Don't worry, we can get a room that you and 12 others can split to make it less expensive...

I guess that brigns me back to why i was searching "The Goads". (Sorry it took me so long) Our pastor today brought up the story of Paul and how Christ said to him that it was hard to work against the goads. He explained what a "goad" was and it was like a light went on. A goad, he said is a sharpened stick that allows the user to guide the sheep in the direction he wants them to go. (ding, ding ding.) Got it yet, The Goads, perfectly and carefully named so, are the sharpened stick that guided the blind sheep ( Amway followers) in the direction of the dream. Well, I have been saving individuals, for sometime, from the misnomers of Amway. I even got "contacted" to a plan showing (that was interesting). It was nice to see good people leaving with me saying thanks. Keep up the good work.


  1. I think the real name of that Amway band was originally not The Goads, but The Gonads. That's because everyone in Amway is either a prick or a cunt.

    1. LOL that sounds about right! Everyone in Amway is either a prick or a cunt. I’d revise it to say arrogant lying prick or cunt.

  2. Amway is an amazing opportunity for young entrepreneurs to meet other successful business owners and find a mentor who will guide them to FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. You were clearly unfit for our business model and too lazy to put in the work to reap the rewards. Guess what? Amway is worth tens of billions of dollars and thats a fact whether you like it or now. Just last year we did 14 billion revenue.

    I am on track to becoming a double diamond in less than 5 years from now and having my own 6 figure business. And to that i say, bring it on hater.

    1. Hey you dumb Amway fucktard. An entrepreneur is a person who creates a product or service that they sell to real customers. If you sell a product or service that an entrepreneur created then that makes you an employee or commissioned sales rep.

      And I get it that everyone in Amway is a fucking lying sack of shit but before you show up on this blog to make an asshole out of yourself you should have gone to Google and plugged in “Amway 2016 revenue”. Fucking Amway loser.

    2. To Anonymous at 5:26 PM --

      The only thing you're on track to be is a full-fledged asshole.

      You actually think you'll be a Double Diamond with a six-figure income? Dream on, idiot. Over 99% percent of all Amway IBOs go broke.

    3. Anonymous- on track to be a full fledged asshole? He’s already there! LOL just another Amway loser dreaming of making 6 figures at the Amway pyramid scheme.

  3. Haha, "Goads" is indeed a very appropriate name for an Amway band. Might as well have named the whole company "Goad" if they were honest.

    Back when a family friend was with Scamway, he invited us to attend Spring Leadership and Free Enterprise Day with him and his family. Both times, the Goads song "I'm Going Diamond" played over and over, as if to brainwash us to get us hyped for become super rich (no surprises here). Even the lyrics to the song try to goad the listener to do it with some kind of urgency: "I'm going diamond, that's it period".

    So glad to not be sucked into this horrible cult. And "I'm Going Diamond" is not even a mediocre-quality song.

    1. HI Anonymous. Someone once posted the titles of the songs to the CD the Goads were pushing at an Amway functions and they were all stupid songs like the Going Diamond. Just part of the plan to brainwash the Ambots.

  4. Anybody who would write (or sing) a song called "I'm Going Diamond" has to be an 18-karat asshole. These "Goads" must be a total joke.

    1. Anonymous - I always wondered if the Goads got paid real money by Amway or if they bartered for shitty overpriced Amway products. LOL!

  5. The basic lyrics of "I'm Going Diamond" seem to be the following:

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    I'm going Diamond, that's it, period.

    I think the lyrics could be improved. The song should be rewritten this way:

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    When I drop out of Amway I'll be sucking dicks.

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    My entire up-line is a bunch of pricks.

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    I can't sell Amway products out here in the sticks.

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    I'm so broke, my wife has gotta turn some tricks.

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    How the hell did I get into this damned fix?

    One, two, three -- four, five, six...
    Amway debt is on me like a ton of bricks.

    1. Anonymous - LOL! That's too funny. I think you got one line wrong:

      When I drop out of Amway I'll be sucking dicks.

      Would be more accurate -

      When I sign up to Amway I'll be sucking dicks.

      LOL! When they drop out they can stop sucking off their upline's dicks!

  6. LTD had a crappy Amway band too. It wasn't called the Goads, the name is escaping me at the moment but it sounds like they were just as bad. I think they were called Day One or something like that.

    They had a "Diamond Song" that the lyrics consisted of "This is my diamond song...oh oh oh... I'm going diamond... oh oh oh." Over and over again.

    They would also perform rip-off versions of pop songs with the lyrics carefully sanitized and made Amway appropriate. Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" and Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" were especially popular. The best one was their version of Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping".

    Just imagine... "Pissing the night away" became "This is the diamond way". The part about taking the different drinks became "You break a ruby pin, you break a sapphire pin. You break an emerald pin, you break a diamond pin. Double diamond pin, triple diamond pin". Then the whole crowd (minus me of course) would stand up and scream "CROWN AMBASSADOR!!"

    The group would sell CD's at functions with these horrible ripoff songs on them. I at times wondered if it would be worth it to buy a CD and send it to the music labels of these groups whose songs were getting ripped off. Not sure about the legality of it was but I'm sure they didn't ask permission to re-record and re-sell these songs. But I didn't want to give the group any more money then they were already getting.

    1. Anonymous - LOL! That sounds like a shitty band who didn't spend a lot of time working on changing up the lyrics! LOL!

      I hate hearing songs like that on the radio where the group just sings the same verse over and over for a few minutes. Its like where's the DJ. Just shut the song down early. Boy George has a song like that and so does Kiss. Fortunately don't hear either of them of either of them these days.

      Take that Kiss song and make it Ambot friendly.

      I wanna sell Amway shit all night and prospect every day.

      Over and over and over......

      Pissing the night away. At Amway cult meetings of course.

      Yeah the Goads had their CD's for sale at Amway cult functions. Someone left a comment here a few years ago that they actually bought it.

      You gotta wonder. Was Amway paying the Goads or whoever or did they make a deal where instead of pay they could flog their CD's with promises of thousands of sells.

  7. The whole thing to me is sad. People that are reported to have so much integrity, standing above others and telling bare-faced lies. The honest truth is by the time you hit Emerald, 2/3rds of the money will come from "the system".
    I have a recording of a Diamond from stage that says, "Turn the recorders off, right now. I have never made a dime off books and tapes, and Ron makes over one million dollars a year just off my business". I didn't hear him say turn them off, and mine was going.
    The fact is, back when we had cassette tapes if you had over 1000 tapes made at a time, you could make them for about 5 cents. Now WWDB had it's own shop so it had to be less than that. We had to buy them for $5.50 per tape. If they didn't make any money off them, why the hell should I take my business advise from them? Does not make sense.
    We left when it was going OK, but I refused to lie to my downline, and I guess in their eyes that makes you a "loser". So be it.
    When you look at what is called "Brainwashing", it describes Family Reunion and FED almost perfectly.
    My downline is still in it, going diamond, like every year since they got in, since 1994. I hope they make it, and I hope they can live with it.

    1. Anonymous- it slays me when brainwashed Amway losers show up here and insist the assholes in their upline are the most honest people they’ve ever known and they’re full of integrity.

      They’re full of something all right! LOL!

      And if the most honest people you’ve ever met are a bunch of Amway liars and scammers that doesn’t say much about the company you keep.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.