A friend works in an office
building that’s about 14 or 15 stories high. Her company is spread out over 3
or 4 floors I think of the building. There’s retail stores and a coffee shop on
the ground floor and all kinds of different businesses and offices on the upper
floors.
I went to her building to meet her for lunch. I went up to the floor where she
works and chatted with the receptionist while I waited for my friend to come
out. The mail girl showed up pushing the mail cart and dropped off some things
to the receptionist. One of the things she pulls out is a courier card and
she’s not sure how it ended up in her cart, who put it there, and the two of
them are having a discussion about it. It appears the courier tried to drop off
something after hours. After 5pm the building’s elevators shut down and have to
be activated with a security card. Staff in all the companies get security cards
specific to their floor so if they come in before or after their shift they can
get to their floor but they won’t be able to get to floor of other companies.
First of all I’m thinking what the hell courier is dropping off after 5pm. I
know a man who drives a courier truck and he says they make their deliveries in
the morning and pick ups in the afternoon. Then he has to get to their
warehouse by 4pm for sorting and to make sure the packages going by overnight
air courier get to the airport.
But then the mail girl floors me. She says the dreaded “A” word. You know the
word that ambots avoid saying. Amway! Its an Amway courier. Now that catches my
attention. Amway has their own courier company delivering packages of shit to
nasty little ambots. Doubt it.
As far as I remember we used to get Amway’s packages of shit delivered by good
old USPS. So I don’t know if Amway has abolished the mail and delivering
everything by courier now or if whoever ordered the shitty overpriced products
was in a big hurry to get them and begged Amway to send them by courier. Did he
run of prestige toilet paper?
And why would an ambot want to embarrass themselves and have Amway send the
package of shit to their workplace so everyone knows you’re a loser who bought
overpriced shitty Amway products. We never had Amway shit delivered to our
shop. Always to our house. If we weren’t home the mailman just left the box of
shit on our top step its not like we had to sign for anything. Nobody every
stole it. Damn it! Who would want shitty Amway products unless they’re a
brainwashed Amway ambot.
It would be just too fucking embarrassing to have something with Amway written
all over delivered to the workplace. And why would a person who works in a
company where it can’t be delivered to their desk want their box of shit
delivered there. Talk about fucking embarrassing having a box with Amway
written on it delivered to where you work and all the hands its got to touch
before it gets to your desk. Mailroom person, receptionist, etc. Embarrasment
aside, its causing extra work for coworkers to handle a package which is
clearly a personal thing and not something work related. Amway ambots are
inconsiderate pricks that way. They don’t give a fuck about anyone else if
they’re not making a buck off them. They think they’re better than everyone
else and that’s why the rest of the world should cater to their every need. So
let their lowly coworkers be inconvenienced. None of their coworkers are big
shot hot shit business owners like they are.
So the mail girl is standing there holding a courier missed delivery card because
the courier arrived sometime after 5pm. Isn’t it just like Amway to contract
the services of a courier company that can’t get their deliveries completed
during normal working hours.
Mail girl and receptionist look at the card and there is no clue which of the
several hundred employees it should be delivered to in their company though why
anyone would want a box of overpriced shitty products is another mystery and
one that they weren’t trying to solve.
As you might guess I came to the rescue with my suggestion. There’s only one
thing you can do with anything Amway.
“Throw it in the garbage.”
And the mail girl crumpled up the card and dumped it.
Don’t we all wish it could be that easy to get rid of everything Amway!
"Nobody ever stole (the Amway shit)". Now that gives me an idea for the first actual good use for Amway. Simply remove the dreaded Amway name from the package (unless Amway ships their crap in a plain unmarked package like pornography so as not to embarrass their customers) and then leave it on your porch to discourage package thieves. That's if you don't have a dog or if you want to leave something even worse than dog shit to REALLY discourage the thieves from stealing packages from your porch. Just be careful not to get any Amway on your hands while packaging it. Yeech!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I can't remember but I'm sure the packaging identified Amway or Alticor. But yeah it's pretty embarrassing having anything with Amway's name show up because anyone who sees it knows you're a dumb fuck loser getting scammed by Amway.
DeleteImagine the courier being so stupid that he doesn't write down the name of the addressee on the card that he leaves!
ReplyDeleteYou're right Anonymous. You need to leave a name on the courier card when it's a building with many potential people a package could be delivered to. Why write the name of the sender instead of the receiver when you leave a sorry we missed you card.
DeleteThey use LaserShip these days and they leave product in random places and aren't exactly careful with packages.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - I'm not familiar with that company but you can bet Amway's head office struck up a cheap ass deal to get them to handle their shipping which would explain the staff aren't paid enough to be careful with packages. LOL! Wouldn't it be fun working in that company's sorting warehouse. Oh look here's some more Amway shit. Picks up the box and kicks it as far as they can!
Delete