That’s the upline’s motto when a husband is more interested in being an Amway IBO than the wife is. When word is out that the wife wants her husband to quit Amway the upline kicks up their campaign to bust up their relationship. Can’t let her get in the way of their income, can they?
In many cases its the husband who has been prospected into the Amway business by a relative or friend. Sometimes the husband and wife are prospected together and shown the business plan. Usually the husband is eager to join Amway because the sponsor or upline has put the screws to him saying stuff like “Don’t you want your wife to be free from her job and be at home for your children?” Or “Don’t you want to provide for your family?” Or “If you don't do the business you’re risking your family's future and don't you love your family and want the best for them?”
The women tend to look at the numbers - dollars and the amount of people needed to make them - and might say it looks good on paper but in reality how likely is it that we can actually find enough people to sponsor as IBO’s and buy Amway products to actually make this business work.
If the wife isn’t all that interested in attending Amway meetings and buying products the cult leader brainwashes the husband to believe his wife is “negative to his business” and then starts the process of separating him from his wife.
Its a tough spot for a wife to be in. She wants to support her husband but she doesn’t want anything to do with those brainwashed cult followers who are hell bent on destroying their marriage.
The wife is likely negative to the business because the husband is spending hundreds of dollars a month on expensive Amway products, CDs, books, meetings and functions, monthly membership into whatever line of sponsorship he’s in, and any other miscellaneous tools that the upline decides he must throw his money at. The husband no longer has time for her, the family, outings, and events that may conflict with “the business” that the upline pressures him into making the number one priority in his life. The wife is not happy with the ugly personality change that is happening to her husband.
For all his efforts and money spent trying to build a business the husband is likely coming up zippo trying to convince people to come to board plan meetings, let alone sign up any new IBO’s. Its also hard to find retail customers. Once people know its Amway they’re usually not interested due to the high prices and Amway’s bad reputation as a scam. The husband becomes more aggressive hounding friends and family to buy those shitty Amway products and it doesn’t take long for people to start avoiding him. The husband undergoes a complete personality change basically turning from a sweet loving man into a nasty snarling ugly Ambot who becomes increasingly angry as he faces reality that his hard work is not bringing results.
The wife just wants her husband back. She wants those Amway cult followers out of their lives. She wants her husband to stop blowing their money on Amway tools and products.
She’s tired of being accused of being non-supportive, non-Christian, a people hater, holding him back, etc.
Enough is enough.
The breaking point is near. If it hasn’t already been reached.
Something has to give.
Will it be Amway? Or will it be the marriage?
Anna;
ReplyDeleteIt's truer than you know.
Guess I just needed to listen to more CASSETTE TAPES to get me in line.
You know after decades of the women's movement (I don't agree with all of it), women turn right aound and hand over their rights and dignity.
ReplyDeleteThe young women need to be careful or all the work by women for the past 100 years will mean nothing.
I can't believe how eager they are to follow the amway herd and be obedient.
I believe in order and respect in the home. God warns against anyone coming against a man and his wife and family.
It is stunning what is sspewed from stage about telling your kids to go sleep in the stores they buy products from (they were serious) and how the wives don't get a dime if they aren't supportive.
Such wonderful counsel.
The audacity.
First Anonymous - yes it is truer than most who've never been in this situation will ever know. Husbands need to accept that quitting Amway is not failure. Unlike what they've been conditioned by their upline.
ReplyDeleteSecond Anonymous. It really sickened me watching all those Ken and Barbie dolls on stage chirping about how wonderful their lives are thanks to Amway. And the subtle message is for women to shut up and listen to their husbands and to blindly follow him even if he doesn't know where the hell he's going. Not in this day and age women don't "obey" their husbands. Especially not when he's risking their future.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny. The problem with Amway is we have some bad seeds in it that try to brainwash people but then we also have the good seeds in it as well. Amway is a great opportunity but just like jobs. You have the bad seeds and the good seeds.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous thank you for stopping by. You're right. We can find bad seeds and good seeds in other organizations and just about every walk of life. The line of sponsorship I was involved in - WWDB - has an unfortunate reputation due to the bad seeds and accusations of brainwashing and abuse of the downline IBOs. Occasionally I read posts from people who say that is not their experience. They have a good upline and have never been abused and operate their business ethically. I have no reason to doubt them, just saying that's not my experience, and I'm here to tell it how it happened to us.
ReplyDeleteAnon,
ReplyDeleteShow me a "good seed" and I'll show you a slicker upline LCK.
My husband has been "in the business" for over 7 years and he is at about the same level he started at. His comment now when I constantly complain about him not spending time with us is for me to start attending meetings/functions with him - I'm sure his upline is putting pressure on him to get me involved - its not a good look to have a husband without his wife.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous mentioned Amway was "just like jobs" - but the only jobs out there where you have to pay a huge amount of money and get no financial recompense for the work that is done are those that are both immoral and unethical.
Anonymous - 7 years in the business and at the same level is very common for the IBO's who stuck it out as long as he has. They can't quit now after all the nasty things they've said to other people about their jobs and the bragging they've done about how they'll be financially free very soon. They can't quit now now when success is right around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI doubt his upline is putting pressure on him to convince you to attend meetings and functions with him. Its more likely they're putting pressure on him to leave you. Not what you want to hear but that's what the upline is there for. To separate the IBO from anything in their life that is not part of Amway.
I think after all this time you need to seek out the advice of someone who is experienced in cults and deprograming.
Good luck to you!
so, how can I save my marriage when I detest the very same thing that my husband finds so exciting and enticing and without the likelihood of him coming to his senses any time soon?
ReplyDeleteTracy - I'm not a counsellor and everyone is different in levels of tolerance, emotions, and finances. So sad. I feel your pain. In the beginning when your husband is excited you want to be supportive but after a few months you realize that its very difficult to sign up any downline and its hard to find customers to buy overpriced useless Amway products. And you realize you're going into debt to help the upline reach their goals and your financial situation turns bad.
ReplyDeleteThe last thing you want to do is "counsel" with upline. If your husband suggests it tell him you want to see a university diploma of proof that they can provide guidance but you really don't want to seek counsel from brainwashed ambots who want you to spend all your money and time on Amway. These people are very likely not qualified counsellors to give advice on finances, marriage, etc anyway. They just think they are. If you attend church your clergyman would be a good place to start and he/she might have other recommendations for counselling. Otherwise ask friends or family if they can recommend someone. Some companies benefit plans offer counselling services so you should look into that. You'll probably have to go alone at first to discuss the situation and then bring your husband. Its important for you to get your emotional well being in order.
You need to find a 3rd party person with no interest in Amway who is a financial advisor. At the least someone who works at your bank with small businesses but an independent advisor would be better. Maybe even a lawyer who assists with small business set up. You show this person the profit and loss statements, tax returns, projected income sheet, etc and let them assist with an analysis of your Amway business.
Your husband really needs to take advice from a 3rd party who can help him see the light. Sometimes a marriage can be saved but you need to take the steps to talk to qualified people.
Good luck to you. I hope it works out for the best.
Anna: You may have this link posted elsewhere (haven't yet read ALL your blogs ha ha) but here is an excellent series of articles on how Amway controls people thru standard cult practices:
ReplyDeletehttp://freedomofmind.com/resourcecenter/groups/a/amway/amway-bite-analysis-behavior/
Here's also a link on how to help them:
http://freedomofmind.com/help/someoneelse/
The author of this website is a well respected, credentialed expert in the field of mind control and cults. Great site to read for more info on this often misunderstood phenomena.
Connie - that's Steve Hassan's site. I've posted links to some of his pages in prior topics and links to a 3 part video he did with Eric Scheibeler talking about the Amway cult. He's a good source.
ReplyDelete