Friday, August 26, 2011

Married to an Ambot is One Year Old!

My first post was on August 26 2010 so today marks the one year anniversary of Anna Banana’s Married to an Ambot Blog!

I started writing this blog so I could get a lot of things off my chest about how we were badly treated by our Amway upline, the money we lost, the things I witnessed, and to curse out our upline. In writing my blog I was hoping it might help other wives out there stuck in this helpless place of dealing with a husband brainwashed by the Amway cult.

It became kind of clear to me as 2010 wound to a close that I was running out of stories. When you’re inside the Amway scam for under a year there is only a limited amount of bad memories to fall back on. After 4 months of blogging I was running out of material. In fact I remember bringing it up in a post I wrote earlier this year that I probably wouldn’t post quite as often because I’ve pretty much covered our Amway penance.

But just when I think that all the stories I have to tell have been told I read something that jogs a memory and I write about it. Or one of those Amway assholes phones Ambot and that motivates me to write a post cursing them out. Recently Ambot’s sponsor Captain Fuck Up phoned to say he was buying something and the price tag and wanted to know if Ambot knew where he could buy it cheaper. What? Amway doesn’t sell it? Ambot claims that Captain Fuck Up quit Amway around the same time we did but seeing as how I don’t talk to the son of a bitch I have no way of verifying that one way or the other. Someone left a comment for me a few months ago asking how do I know for sure that Captain Fuck Up still isn’t an Amway IBO. The answer is I don’t know but either way I’ll forever refer to him as that fucking Amway asshole to Ambot. I know that our former sack of shit Platinum sent the word out to all IBO’s in our former line that they’re not to have anything more to do with Ambot or me after we quit Amway. I constantly bring that up to Ambot that Captain Fuck Up is disobeying the cult leader’s orders when he phones or stops by and Ambot keeps trying to convince me that it doesn’t matter what the cult leader says because Captain Fuck Up is no longer in Amway. I say it makes no difference - there should be no contact. Yeah I wish.

In case anyone is wondering Captain Fuck Up is not allowed in our house. Whenever he stops by he parks on the street and Ambot goes out to talk to him. You’d think the dumb ass bastard would get a clue. Come on guys! If your friend’s wife won’t let you in the door that is a huge clue! Most men can figure out when their friend’s wife can’t stand them and they stay away. Most men who got their friend involved in a cult and caused a loss of money and emotional distress and know the wife is even more pissed off at him than before would really stay the hell away. Not this arrogant prick. What’s wrong with people?

So to the two most evil, hated men in our former upline - our sponsor the arrogant Captain Fuck Up and the pompous sack of shit Platinum cult leader - let me send out a good old FUCK YOU in honor of my one year anniversary of blogging. If it wasn’t for you two troublemaking bastards this blog wouldn’t exist.

I have a lot of readers, many stop by my blog daily to see if I have written a new post. I hate to disappoint them by not writing something but sometimes the well is dry. Depends what I’m doing that day too. I might be super busy or not in a writing kind of mood.

I’ve enjoyed chatting to many of you and hearing your stories. Some of the comments readers have left are very sad and heartwrenching and I always send out good thoughts that you can recover financially and emotionally from the Amway hell.

I like it when some brainwashed ambot stops by to leave a canned Amspeak response straight from a tape. Oops! Make that CD. IBOFB will be shitting his pants demanding to know where I got hold of a tape when they’ve been extinct for years. I get the typical feedback comments from brainwashed IBO’s: quitter, loser, didn’t try hard enough, negative, unchristian, lazy, dream stealer, working for somebody else, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I have a little fun and feature their response as a new blog topic with my response back to them. Like they’re ever going to come back and read it but the rest of us can have a laugh at their expense.

A few new bloggers have even popped up in the past year: MLM Punisher, Lobotomized, and John who was writing Ambot.0 and then it fizzled. Oh wait. These are all Joecool’s aliases! I love it when a new blogger gets up and running and we can hear their story. A few people who’ve left comments on my blog have considered writing about their Amway experiences and I hope they join the blogging community one day too.

So have I accomplished what I set out to do according to the tag line on my blog?

My story of what its like to be married to an Amway cult follower. I expose the lies that our upline told and what happens at Amway meetings and functions. I leave the explanations of why Amway is a poor business opportunity or the tool scam to other bloggers. This blog mainly exists to curse out my former upline, aka the cult leaders, and to let everyone know what kind of idiots I had to put up with.

Yes, I’ve got the word out what it was like living with my husband and the Amway bullshit canned speeches he constantly flung out. Oh yeah I’ve covered many lies told by our upline. And yes for the most part I’ve left the technical explanations of the Amway business opportunity to bloggers who have more experience in this area who can spell it out in rational logical posts. For sure I’ve done a great job at using my blog to curse out my former upline! I’m sure my readers have no doubt that my upline are a bunch of fucking idiots.

So yes I’d say I’ve accomplished what I set out to do. Horrible situations that happened in our lives can benefit others only if we write down our experiences and share them. Current IBO’s and the people from Amway head office who show up to read my blog might not be too thrilled that I’m getting the truth out there about our Amway experience but that’s their problem. If Amway kept better control of their cult leaders and put a stop to downline abuse and priced their products competitively and stopped ripping off people then blogs like mine wouldn’t exist.

The one year mark doesn’t mean I’m done blogging or even slowing down as I already figured out a few months ago. Just because I think I’ve covered all the Amway horror stories I experienced doesn’t mean its so. Where do I keep coming up with this stuff?

To the women who’ve dropped me a line thanking me for my blog and letting them know they’re not alone in what they’re experiencing being married to an ambot - I say keep strong and I’m sending you good thoughts and positive vibes that your husbands see the light really soon and your escape from the Amway nightmare happens real soon.


  1. Congratulations on your anniversary!

    Didn't you know? I author this blog and every blog that is critical against Amway! IBOFB says so! IBOFB even proves it because there used to be a bar and grill named Anna Bananas in the area where I used to work!

  2. Happy anniversary! If you've planted even one seed of doubt in the mind of someone looking to drink the Koolaid, the time you've spent blogging was well worth it. And no doubt you've helped many, many more folks along the way. Wishing you another year of rising to the top of Google searches whenever some poor soul is looking for Family Reunion info ;)


  3. Thanks Joecool!

    I'm sure IBOFB has hired Steve McGarrett to crack the case of how many blogs you run!

  4. Thanks Chelsea!

    Yup I've had some visitors say they are not going to join Amway after reading some of my blog or say they've been thinking of quitting and I've given them the strength to get out. There are a lot of wives out there suffering from how their husband has changed for the worse after getting involved in Amway and being abused by the upline.

  5. Im still waiting for the kids of ambots to come up with blogs. Would be nice to see how they feel about their parents attending functions,dressing up like dorks,listening to cds.

  6. Big congrats Anna for doing a wonderful service for the public, warning people not to get involved with Scamway. And also for detailing the devastation that goes along with the Amway 'business opportunity'. And of course for making us laugh like crazy along with the cursing. All the best for your continued success!

  7. Colin - that would be an interesting blog to read. Something through a kid's eyes while they watch their parents being destroyed by the Amway cult.

  8. Thank you Connie! My site gets a lot of hits from people looking for information on joining Amway or from new IBO's. I hope I've given them a good inside look at the emotional and financial distress and how Amway destroys lives. And of course making people laugh at what a bunch of idiots I had to put up with during the Scamway hell days.

  9. @Anna - Happy Birthday! LOL. I always enjoy your posts. Keep up the great work. I didn't realize I was Joecool! LOL.

  10. Happy Birthday/Anniversary to your blog. I concur with the sentiments of others above in regards to your blog being a great source of truth about how the Amway beast chews up and spits out those it claims to "love" and want to "help" bring wealth to, when of course, the reality is they only love the money they milk from their IBO's wallets to make the super tiny few at the top of the pyramid wealthy at their expense.
    You are like the kitchen light coming on exposing the Amway cockroaches who don't want anyone to see what they are REALLY up to.
    Always a great read and source of laughs and helpful information.
    I hope you enjoy writing your blog as much as we all love reading it.

  11. Thanks MLM Punisher! I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. Yeah, good comeback about the Joecool alias! That'll confuse the hell out of IBOFB!

  12. Thanks Dave! I'm glad you're enjoying my blog and believe it is helping others. Good analogy about the Amway cockroaches! Yes its been a lot of fun writing it, especially the cursing out my upline part! The fun thing is that every current IBO who reads it can never be quite sure that I'm not writing about them!

  13. Hi Anna:
    Happy Anniversary on writing your blog. May you have many more! I like to stop by and read it for a few laughs. I think the ambots know in their heart of hearts that we are just laughing our heads off at them. Speaking of anniversaries, my three year anniversary of being free from this cult is coming up Sept. 8. Now that's freedom!

  14. Thanks David! I'm glad you're enjoying reading it and I suspect that ambots who do show up to read my blog realize they're the butt of every post! Likewise whenever someone from Amway's head office shows up to read they know we're all laughing at them.

    Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary of freedom from this cult! Good on you for knowing the exact date! I can't tell you the exact date that I finally persuaded Ambot to quit though I know when he bought his last load of Ambot shit because of the credit card records and he quit shortly after that. That last order he spent $500 on buying useless stuff because some upline bastard phoned and pressured him to buy so someone else further upline could meet that month's PV goals.

  15. Happy Anniversary/Birthday! I REALLY enjoy your blog and check back often to see what you've posted! I have NEVER been involved with Amway, but have family members who are involved/brainwashed. It's nice to be able to relate to what you're writing and even vent here, because I can't say a word to them without being told I am negative, unchristian, don't support them, dream-killer, etc. I remember when you wrote that you didn't have much more material to write about...I'm so glad you rehashed some memories and continued blogging! I'm sure you've helped many along the way too. I just wish my family members would get out, but they are so deep into it. I would NEVER join Amway, and everything in your blog confirms that choice! Keep up the good work. -FM

  16. Thanks FM! I'm glad you're enjoying my blog!

    I also can say I've never been involved in Amway. Dragged unwillingly by my husband is another story! The upline hated me because they couldn't brainwash and control me all the while faking being nice to me. The people who pretend to be nice to you while recruiting you into their cult. I'm sure you can see what is happening to your family members exactly as I saw it, all with a clear mind. If your family members are in as deep as you say they will have to hit rock bottom before they leave Amway. That means all credit cards at their limits, house being foreclosed on, hounded by collection agencies, losing their jobs, and their world falling apart around them. Fortunately many people can get out of the Amway cult and still rebuild their lives.

  17. Rock bottom? They have hit the "rock bottom" you mentioned and are still clinging to the "dream." They think their breakthrough is just around the bend even though they've been in amway for several years (I'd say 8 years if I had to guess). -FM

  18. Wow 8 years is some time! Some in our upline were in way longer and some of the people who've left comments for me were in 10 or 15 years.

    I think the average time is more like 8 months. People get excited for the 1st month they're in Amway. Starts to wane a little until the first major function comes along that they're pressured to go to. Then they get all motivated again for about a week. After 3 or 4 months they stop going to as many Amway meetings and then they drop out of sight within the year.

  19. You know what makes you the a great amcult writer/blogger - what you espouse resonates with realistically with my own experiences! so it gives me utmost joy to look forward to read your thoughts. keep it up and i look forward to toast you again for another year of exposing this amcult evil. Happy belated birthday!

  20. Thank you ExAmbot! I hear that a lot that my experiences are the same as someone else's. Its actually what I was thinking when I read Merchants of Deception that this could have been my story, minus reaching Emerald level that is. I'm glad you're enjoying reading my blog.

  21. Hi AnnaBanana,

    Happy belated-birthday, I have to admit that if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have enjoyed bashing those Scambot-cunts so much a couple of years back. Not out of personal experience, there is so much on your blog I can relate to. Having lost friends and family for years to this systematic parasite, it ails me to see others suffering similar loses. I know that I might be striving too high when I say this, but I hope that someday in the not-so-distant future this world will have found a cure for this, some way to fight this from the inside of its cancerous spore.

    I’m sure holding out hope for the world to rid of this in the not-so-distant tomorrow is too much to ask for…but I’ll dream anyway! Those far and few heroes like you, who aid any remaining survivors to find the light they had taken away by this pandemic, are in deed true heroes. I applaud your perseverance, you persistence, and the brute force by which you define yourself when it comes to confronting your husbands upline and platinum. Once again, I can’t thank you enough for your blog, that endless dedication and that resistance, which glorifies your wonderful work.

    Thank from the bottom of my heart AnnaBanana,

    The Scambotshit Destroyer

    1. Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying the blog so much. Yup we're here to bash the assholes in our Amway upline who abused us, this is the place! We're coming up to 3 years pretty soon now.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.