How Sick is it To Sneak Into An Amway Function?

I’m sure everyone wants to know what kind of sick demented bastards would want to sneak into an Amway brainwashing conference!

Ha ha!

My contact who is friends with the son of a friend of mine wasn’t available on Friday night so Joecool and I had to settle for the Saturday shift.

I won’t say what my new best buddy job is but he can pretty much go anywhere in the Bren Events Center and no one will question him so we tag along behind the scenes. At one point he takes a phone call and steps away from us. We’re backstage but not behind the stage and not near any of those bastards who are going up on the stage to brainwash the masses. I can hear the crowd screeching or maybe they were chanting during the brainwashing sessions. Hard to tell at these Amway events. This Amway bastard in a suit practically jumps out of the shadows on top of us. He’s glaring at us. Or maybe he was sneering. Kind of hard to tell with these ambots.

“Who are you?” The Amway asshole demands.

“What’s it to you.” I said.

Can’t argue with that kind of logic so the bastard backs off and I don’t see him again. Probably some sack of shit Platinum who’s been assigned to patrol the hallways for renegade ambots who want to rush the Diamonds and assure them of their undying love and devotion.

Uh no fear of that from me!

A little later I see a clipboard lying on a table in an empty room. I pick it up and carry it around trying to look official but mostly I hang onto it cause its got some interesting bullshit on it that I can probably use at some later date. Our contact is still with us when we walk down a hall. Keep in mind that this area is not accessible to the ambots. You gotta be a Diamond or involved in some kind of indentured servitude to one or employed by Bren. Gotta keep them riff raff lowly ambots out of this area.

Then my friend stops us outside a closed door. There’s yelling going on. Men. But we can’t hear what they’re saying. Just angry words coming through every now and then. He actually puts his ear to the door and is practically killing himself laughing. He says sounds like 3 of them in there fighting about money. Joecool says its probably the ticket sales to the function. What else do Diamonds fight about? Then this woman comes flying around the corner. She’s in this gown and would probably be overdressed if she showed up at an Oscar party. Like where do you think you are? I thought about it too late but afterwards I thought I should have told her there was a dog show here last week and she just stepped in some dog shit. Have no idea if there were any dogs here last week or not but there sure was one standing in front of me! She puts her hands on her hips and stares at us and in an icy tone goes excuse me I’m going in there. She’s bitchy all right but for whatever reason she doesn’t seem to give a shit that we’re trying to hear what’s going on in that room. My contact says he’s going in there too because it sounds like a fight and he wants to make sure that no one is in danger. The bitch tells him to mind his own business. He goes in anyway and Joecool and I are left standing there. We back off a bit. Can’t hear anything going on in there anyway now that an outsider is in there. One of those lowly people with a dreaded J.O.B. Like maybe its contagious. He comes out after two or three minutes, shuts the door, and shakes his head and mutters something about these being the biggest morons he’s ever had to deal with.

That was about as exciting as it got. Have more stuff but its Amway shit and not too exciting and not really my thing to blog about. That was the only day we got in and we didn't stay too long. Its too life draining spending time anywhere that ambots are. We were planning to go on Sunday but something came up and that was the end of it.