Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wanna Trade Amway Business Cards?

When we were in Amway the assholes in our upline told us that now we were “business owners” to figure out a business name to call the company. To hell with going through any proper measures to legally register the business name just in case someone else has already legally registered it. Just choose a name and use it. And then because you “own your own business” you can give yourself any title that you choose.
Then the ambots are told to make up business cards to pass out to potential prospects and customers so they’d run out and buy business card sheets so they could make up their own cards on their computer. Mostly ambots passed out these business cards among themselves and they would all ooohhh and aaaahhhh. I saw more fucked up pieces of shitty pretend businesses on these cards than you could imagine.
Like any nightmare I don’t remember any phony ass business names that ambots chose for their phony business but some of the titles I remember. And the business cards looked like shit. The home made jobs where you use some clip art program on your computer to put a beach or mansion or sports car or sacks of money on the business card. I don’t remember anyone using Amway logo but I do remember some of them using pictures of Amway products which is probably a violation of Amway’s policy but ambots don’t give a flying fuck about those kind of details.
So I’d get passed these business cards that would read something like:

My Fucked Up Phony Ass Amway Business
Asshole Ambot
President and CEO of Bullshit


The titles were all over the place: president, CEO, manager, vice president of operations – those vice president titles would be on the wife’s business cards! That’s how it is in Amway. The wives are always second. Oh what the fuck am I thinking! Wives are way further down than second!
That’s part of running a phony business with a phony business name. You can give yourself a phony business title to make you look all big and important.
These ambots sit around at work all day dreaming of how rich they’re going to be thanks to Amway and how they own their own business and how that makes them better than everyone else they work with and they got the business cards to prove it.
Putting on a business suit, pretending how busy you are on your cell phone, and playing 8pm warrior going to Amway meetings, and passing out phony ass business cards with fake names and titles does not make you a real business owner.

12 comments:

  1. I was already successfully running my own REAL business back in my amway days. It always blew my mind how these weirdos were all over the malls at the local Office Depots, making little stacks of cheap ass business cards that I wouldn't use to start the fireplace. And yeah-- they would make up stupid names for their pretend companies and stupid titles to go along with it. None of these idiots knew the first thing about actually owning or operating a real business. Hell-- they wouldn't know what to do in a real business, or recognize one, if it landed on them.... but that's another story all together.

    Back to the business cards and titles: the whole thing was quite cringe-worthy. I felt so sorry for them. They were quite pathetic. My wife was always so pissed that I even allowed myself to be SEEN with them.

    What do you expect?--- pretend business cards, with pretend CEOs, for a pretend business, with pretend success.

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    Replies
    1. Dick isn't it amazing that something triggers that business card memory with the fake titles for pretend businesses and then all of a sudden it's like oh yeah now I remember. I don't remember the names of the pretend businesses but you're right they were all very pathetic. Obviously no one used an image consultant to help choose a name for their fake Amway business.

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    2. The sad part is they have no idea of what the definition of a business owner is. They are just commissioned salespeople and consumers of the product, not "owners". They'll point out that "their" business is a part of the multi-billion dollar Amway, but of course, they don't get any of that, and it is their "dreams" that make those at Amway rich as it all funnels upward, not downward. But that is all part of the make believe fantasyland Amway promotes. "If you want it bad enough and believe it blindly, it will be so". That would be like me wanting to fly like a bird, so I put pictures of birds on my refrigerator and make up business cards that say "Dave the Bird" and ignore any reality that says otherwise as being "negative" and then think I can magically climb to the top of a building and jump off and "fly" just because I believe I can. Amway, too, discourages their people to watch their ledger sheet and mounting costs as being "negative" and to ignore reality and just daydream about mansions and yachts and make up phony business cards and titles and call that "owning a business".
      ~Dave

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    3. Dave - ambots should make up business cards indicating that they are vice president of shopping from Amway. They can call themselves business owners and give themselves phony business names and phony titles for their pretend businesses but when the only customer they have is themselves then all they're doing is buying from Amway. Some would argue they can buy at wholesale rates but Amway's wholesale prices are still way higher than retail everywhere else.

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  3. So are you saying that you can not own a real business with Amway?? My biyfriend used to have one with his exwife but let it go during their divorce due to how nastey it got but has been trying to convince me that this is OUR best option for us in having a "stay at home business??" I so understand that their are people out their that are always looking for that get rich quick sceem but I swear that is not me.... I just would like to bring in some extra cash and be able to stay home with my 2 boys who need me.... I am really confused rite now.... So any help you can lend would be great.... Thank you!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous - RUN!!!!! You will have nothing but misery in Amway. I think in your situation if you want to earn extra money you should take in a couple of kids for child care. Really any home based business you do you're going to end up having to find someone to watch your kids. You can't do it all. There are a lot of work from home scams out there. You need to avoid envelope stuffing, jewelry making, and pyramid schemes. Avoid any home based business where you have to buy a starter kit or buy materials every month or pay for training. Go to the library and check out a book on home based business ideas. Talk it over with your husband and find something that works for you. Unless you have strong salesmanship skills and can convince customers to buy generic products at inflated prices Amway is not the way to go. Only a fraction of 1% make money. That's in the small print on Amway's literature. Surely you can find a better home based business opportunity with better odds than 99% failure rate.

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Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.