Monday, August 26, 2013

August 26 - 3 Years Baby!

This bunch of bananas has come a long way in 3 years since Married to an Ambot was born. Over 450,000 visitors have stopped by. Wow! Right now the blog is running at about 1000 visitors a day. Not a whole lot when compared to other web pages but probably more than Amway employees want to hear about readers who enjoy coming here to read about Amway assholes.

A big thanks to all the bananas who make the blog possible. Most importantly a big thanks to the banana loving readers who find something of value or entertainment and keep coming back keeping us keeping on. Thank you to everyone who has helped out by contributing stories, moderating the comments, posting and keeping things up and running on this site and all those long phone conversations sharing our Amway stories. I’m not sure this blog could exist without all the support. Thank you thank you!

I especially want to everyone who contributed stories over the past year. Really stepped up to keep content coming on this blog. And really we all have the same story just told slightly differently. The Amway theme of losing money, destroyed relationships, being abused by the assholes in our Amway upline, the tool scam – everyone’s been there.

After pretty much everyone in my former Amway upline quit Amway or got fired and defected to Monavie it kind of threw a wrench at me. Its just not as much fun cursing out these fuckers seeing as how they’re no longer with Amway. Nothing like taking the fun out of this blog because those bastards don’t want anyone to have fun but you know just push past it. One of my friends compared it to bitching out an ex boyfriend all the time and then you hear he died in a horrible death in a car crash then its just not so much fun trashing him anymore.

But I know they’re still the same assholes preaching the same old bullshit and as far as they’re concerned they found a better scam to make money.

Some readers have told heart wrenching stories about how Amway has destroyed their lives. Many readers stop by and thank us for getting out what really happens when you’re stuck inside the Amway cult and how its stopped them from making the mistake. Other readers have a loved one who has devoted their life to loving the Great Amway God and come here for comfort. Then there’s the Amway employees who stop by for a drive by bitching with their canned Amspeak Amway propaganda bullshit. Some of them are pretty funny like the employee from customer service who can’t spell worth a shit showing us the low quality Amway strives for when hiring staff. Like those who’ve dealt with those bastards didn’t already know this!

So thank you to all the bananas who love this blog and make it all worthwhile.

Happy birthday to Married to an Ambot!


  1. 3 years! Well Done & Happy Birthday too, Anna!

    Thanks for your awesome BLOG & thanks to your supportive 'Elfs' behind-the-scenes too!

    Cheers; Lady G! :-)

  2. Anna, I don't know whether to say CONGRATS or TOO BAD.
    CONGRATS to you for your effort on this blog. I'm sure you've saved some people a lot of time and money and avoided heartache. I wouldn't be surprised if you've saved a few marriages, too.
    TOO BAD that this blog is still alive and well and necessary.


    1. Very true AnonTB. As long as people are being destroyed by the assholes in their Amway upline there will always be a need for websites like this.

  3. Happy birthday to your blog Anna!

    I am "anonymous" who posted about my now ex-boyfriend who is in another awful MLM. It wasn't Monavie it was Herbal Life.
    I think these MLMs are pretty much the same. There was less religion and anti-gay stuff in Herbal Life but same tactics, same scams same stories. Substitute Ambots for Herbots

    * Interfering "sack of shit" upline - check
    * Having to drive for miles to these "meetings" - check
    * Constant brainwashing through crappy "gurus", cds books etc, who know nothing about real business - check
    * Lies about income - check
    * Lies about being a "business owner" - check
    * Buzzwords like "negativity" and "success is round the corner" "dream-stealers" "never give up" - check
    * Lies about only doing 3 hours a week on business - check
    * Becoming sneering, sarcastic and condescending to people not in the cult - check
    * Seeing people and relationships as "prospects" - check
    * Awful tasting food bars and overpriced mediocre products - check
    * Making unwarranted and dangerous medical claims - check
    * Bullshit about cds, tapes etc being tax deductible - check
    * Boring, long meetings with cult adulation- check
    * Canned MLMspeak - check
    * Buying tons of useless MLM crap (I used to get given their crappy shampoo, body wash and perfume for birthdays/christmas. How romantic. NOT) - check
    * Spending loads of money on marketing with zero return - check
    * Spending loads of time stuck to the mobile phone talking to asshole upline - check
    * Preferring your fake MLM friends to real friends and family who dont support scam-artistry - check
    * Failing to see that going up a pin level means losing more money not making more money - check
    * Delusions of grandeur - check
    * Turning into a selfish, materialistic asshole - check

    Even after all that I still love the guy. It's been heartbreaking having to block his number (he been sending me messages asking me to come back to him, that he loved me, then ruining it seconds later saying it would all work out if I joined his business).

    I may not be a rich woman but I get tremendous satisfaction from my non mlm business. I actually help people, improve their lives. I teach people to eat a clean, non processed diet. How can I promote expensive meal replacement and food bars to them? its not right. And recruiting. Dragging people to financial ruin? That can never be right.

    I hate him for what he's done. It's made me depressed and nearly ruined my reputation with the clients I do have as obviously he has tried to aggressively prospect them all!

    I consider your blog therapy and a small comfort while I try to get my life back to normal again.

    You should win a public service award.

    1. Hi Anonymous. Thank you for your support and I'm glad this blog brings comfort to you.

      And wow just wow I had no idea that Herbal Life was so similar.

      I'm sorry to hear about your relationship but you have to do the right thing for you for your own well being emotionally and financially.

      Instead of hating him you have to hate the people that screwed up his life and turned him into the hateful creature he is today. Thats where the real evil lies.

  4. Congrats!

    Sad thing is, there will probably be many more years of what's essentially the same garbage they pull over and over again. Perhaps they'll try to evolve the same BS. I myself still have some material I have yet to share, and this coming from someone who only went to 3 meetings!

    1. Hi Anonymous. Looking forward to hearing your other stories!

  5. Hi Anna Banana

    Congrats on the blog visits and three-year anniversary! I’m glad to be a “Banana” myself…as part of your daily anonymous commentators, maybe not daily, but rather now and again whenever I have something similar to share with your readers.

    I would also like to thank you for the opportunity to do so, as I would have nowhere to go in regards to Amway-scams and destruction-testimonials! It is through you guys that I’ve come to know the true meaning of cultism. All those horror stories and nightmarish experiences lived through the hearts of others, innocent by-standers with enormous dreams and hopeful goals…I could not have foreseen something so terrifying, as it is the boulevard of broken dreams…Amway.

    I hope we can keep this blog going even bigger to help bring the light to the many desolate, the destitute; those lost and hopeless dreamers dragging the Amway cross on their backs all the way into their psychological and financial breakdown.

    Thank you again Anna, I love your blog and I love you for letting us vent about this great-threat of Amway Global.


    1. Hello AnimeKing. I'm glad the blog is helping you. And thanks for your comments. Yeah this blog keeps growing and growing. So many people need to hear what we have to say or wish they could say it themselves.

  6. Hey Anna

    Thanx 4 a battleground 2 take down those Scambotshits. Worthless Quixcambots filled with XShit and snakepiss HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    happy birthday!!!!!

    The ScamshitbotDestroyer

    1. Hi ScamshitbotDestroyer. We've enjoyed all your entertaining comments! Thanks for contributing!

    Thank you for providing this outlet to those of us who have had relationships destroyed by self-righteous, pompous, just over broke (they are, not us) Ambot twits.
    This blog has been incredible therapy for me, as well as countless others, as we learn not to hate the player, but to hate the game.


    1. Jerry - I'm glad the blog helps you through dark times. So many of us have had our relationships strained or destroyed by those Amway assholes and this is a place where we can share our stories and curse out the evil that brought destruction to our lives.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.