I don't even know where to start. I would however, like you to say out loud, Anna- "I tried to tell you." I read your blog back in the beginning of April, before I was convinced to sign up as an IBO and sign my life away to this scheme. The person who sponsored me is my personal trainer, as well as my client in my real job- Advertising Manager for our local paper. I totally trusted him (and still do in other aspects of life) and I let my trust of he and his wife bring me on in the business. I spent hours at open meetings, went to a conference at the end of April and am now being a little chastised for not making enough contacts, not buying my tickets for summer conference, and I am going to miss a meeting I would have to drive 3 hours for tomorrow- a Saturday night in the beginning of summer.
I am a successful, college graduate, single woman. I am 30 years old. I have so many other things I would rather be doing on a Saturday night then driving for 3 hours, paying a $15 fee and listening to the same stuff I've already heard.
Even before I signed up, CDs and books were thrust at me to listen and read. I love to read and have found the books quite useful- in my personal and professional life. However, the CDs make me feel like I am being brainwashed. I was told to listen to them whenever I was in the car. Well, I'm sorry, but I happen to like MUSIC! And cussing, and drinking and dancing. I like using my free time to RELAX!
I have been losing sleep and honestly, not doing my real job to it's full potential because I am so worried about pleasing my upline and the team! I feel like I am in an abusive relationship and I'm cowering in the corner, scared. Everything I have read written by you and by the comments, is so true. It's crazy that this has affected so many people's lives.
I started dating a few weeks ago and my sponsor (also my trainer and client that I have to see 3 days a week) says, "When was I going to find out about him? Oh, he's gotta come to a meeting. We can judge his character by how he reacts to the business" EXCUSE ME?? I don't think it's your job to judge his character and it's awful that I feel ashamed even telling him I am involved in the business!! And I've only been in since mid-April.
The one thing I will say positive about this experience is that I have met a lot of positive and happy people - well, at least they seemed to be, probably all a facade anyway.
I am ready to quit, but I am shaking at the knees, grinding my teeth and losing even more sleep because I don't want to have to face him- yet, I need him to continue his advertising with me and I need to keep working out. I'm terrified. But- I am a grown woman!! I wish he had never crossed a line by inviting me out. I don't want to do that with my friends or people I know. I don't want to expose them to this cult, and yes, it is quite cultlike. I even looked up the exact definition so that I wouldn't feel bad calling it that. But, I drank the kool-aid. I am just trying to spit it out now.
Sorry for the long rambling. I guess this was also a way for me to vent.
I got brought into Amway by a 'old long lost college buddy' and I straight up quit by not showing up to the meetings and with a simple text of I don't want to get brainwashed anymore
ReplyDeleteI understand you see him during work and all, but you should have other clients right?
He is already prying too far into your personal life by asking about the person you are dating if you bring him to a meeting Amway has totally controlled you.
You are thinking way too far into this on the quitting portion, I found it quite easy :)
One thing I found funny about Amway is this people have no life, and I literally mean no life. They spend most of their weekend at mall, parks, and etc trying to recruit as many people as possible.
ReplyDeleteI went to my friend apartment and there is seriously no computer/laptop, DVDs, or music in her room. I find it very odd since she was not like this during college. Her DVD collections is gone, she now has a bunch of Amway CD instead and here is the scary part she has them in this special DVD cases as if they were a collector items.
I spend a night at her apartment since we have to go to summer summit in Florida, all she does is listen to Amway CD in her room. I actually spend my time with her roomie since she was normal and her room has all the stuff normal people should have. We exchange phone number, but did not talk until recently. I quit Amway and I found out that her room mate has move out. I ask her why and she said my friend has nothing around the house but Amway products. And most of all she is tired of her having Ambots around the house making phone call till early in the morning. She love my friends, but tired of having Amway around all the time.
Yup once you're in Amway the assholes in your upline control your life and the only life you have is hanging out with other ambots and buying Scamway products.
Delete>> "I started dating a few weeks ago and my sponsor (also my trainer and client that I have to see 3 days a week) says, "When was I going to find out about him? Oh, he's gotta come to a meeting. We can judge his character by how he reacts to the business""
ReplyDeleteAnd just what did you say in response to this? Probably nothing, like most of us would. You have a complicated professional relationship, and revenue dollars to maintain. The truth is, you have to assert yourself, like dealing with anyone in your life who oversteps your boundaries.
If you were interested in continuing Amway, I would suggest you say something like this: "Sponsor, why on Earth would you think that you have a vote in my personal life?" In the future, don't even *hint* that you do. Are we clear?"
In your case, it's not worth your time to say this. You clearly have realized that Amway is not for you. You need to make a clean break as quickly as possible. You need to prepare for the inevitable outcome: that he may abandon you as a client. Sad to say, that outcome is a significant possibility, no matter how tactful you are. Ambots are programmed to believe that Ambot apostates are the worst possible relationship to maintain. It may hurt your pocketbook, but when you factor in the money you'll be saving on Amway meetings, rallies, books, tapes, travel, etc., the hit won't be as bad as you think.
One thing you have in your favor is that you are *his* client too. He probably realizes that if he quits you as a client, you will probably do the same. And if that happens, you need to follow up on that. You don't want a personal trainer who spends the whole session trying to talk you back into the cult.
How to quit:
Your instinct will be to explain a litany of logical reasons why you're quitting. This is exactly what you *don't* want to do. He has an argument for practically any reason you can say. You need to give a reason that he can't argue, and don't explain or embellish your explanation. One reason that's hard to argue is that you're just not interested in the business. Here's an example:
You: "I'm leaving Amway. I find that this business just does not interest me. I want to thank you for your effort."
Sponsor: "Why would you throw away such a grew opportunity?"
You: "I'm just not interested in the business. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check it out. I'm sorry it didn't work out."
Sponsor: "Don't you want to be filthy stinking rich and quit your J.O.B."
You: "Sure, but not with Amway."
Sponsor: "You'll never find an opportunity this good."
You: "Maybe, but a good opportunity is one that you can get excited about. I'm just not excited about this business."
Sponsor: "You haven't given it a chance yet. You need to give it at least a year."
You: "No, not really. I'm not quitting because there is no potential, I'm quitting because I'm not interested. I can't succeed in something that I have no interest in."
You: " I respect your decision to pursue this business. You clearly have an interest in it that I don't have. I ask you to respect my decision as well."
And so on. Your answers are tactful and respectful. No criticism of Amway. No reason to judge, because your story is a lack of interest.
You can see that in this example, I stick to one simple point and just rephrase it. No explanation, no tangents. Stick to your point and there's nothing for him to grab on to to reply.
When he continues to try to change your mind, just keep repeating the last sentence in the dialog above. Don't add anything to it that he can reply to.
Good luck.
AnonTB
I have reading the blog going backwards to 2010 and reading forward. I must say its entertaining and insightful. I was wondering if your husband reads the blog as well and if he does what does he think of his actions in retrospect?
ReplyDeleteIt's like once I was visiting my cousin and she I and her three year old son were out on a walk and ended up in a neighborhood park in Camarillo CA and a woman in her mid fifties starts chatting us up and next thing you know it's Jesus this and that you know so I'm trying to be polite and break it off and my cousin just says "bye we gotta go" and walks away. That's the way one must do it sometimes!
ReplyDeleteExactly iceman678! It's amazing that suckers are still falling for Scamway in this day and age of the Internet where so many others share their stories of the financial and emotional distress Amway brought to their lives.
ReplyDelete