Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Amway Ambots Dream Of Smashing Alarm Clocks

One of the bullshit things we used to hear at every Amway meeting were stories about how ambots were becoming financially free and about the last morning they had to wake up and go to work for the man.

They all have the same story. They are always men - but then what else do you expect from the Amway good old boys club but a bunch of male chauvinist pigs. They’re all sitting at their desk getting their work done. Then their wife walks in and says its time. Apparently this was not something preplanned. The wife decided on it on the spur of the moment an hour or two earlier. Then they both go in to see the boss and tell him to stick his job where the sun don’t shine. Then they walk out of the hated company and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand gloating at the coworkers watching them. Standing outside are all the members of their Scamway team. What? None of those fuckers didn’t have jobs they had to be at? There is always a limousine waiting outside. The husband and wife get into it and it always takes them straight home. Oh come on use some imagination here. There is probably at least a 2 hour minimum on renting a limo. You could just ask the chauffeur to drive around and have sex back there. But no. They all want to go home. And what is the first thing they do when they get home? They smash the alarm clock! They will never have to wake up to an alarm clock ever again. Especially not now that its been smashed to smithereens. They can wake up when they’re done sleeping!

And everyone in the upline has the same bullshit story. It never changes. Sudden epiphany at work to quit and walk out. Cult followers outside cheering the ambot on for quitting. Limo. Smash alarm clock.

First a couple of irregularities I see in this often told story.

Conceivably the husband drove a car to work. He leaves in a limo. What’s he going to do about his car? I realize its probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that’s always breaking down but presumably the boss ain’t going to be too happy about the car being abandoned there. Boss calls tow truck. Ambot gets ticket to pay for towing and storage fees. Refuses to pay. Car goes to auction. Tow company leaves bad rating on ambot’s credit report.

And who has an alarm clock anymore? Didn’t they go out in the 70’s when clock radios became all the fashion?

The sack of shit Platinum taunted us about this tale and didn’t we want it too?

Lets see. I haven’t worked for anyone in years. So what am I supposed to do? Go into the bathroom and stare myself down in the mirror and say I quit. Fuck you. I should line up all my Barbie doll collection as my pretend coworkers so they can all catch this magical moment. I stomp out of my house and there’s the limo. Who called and paid for this sucker? Hmm. Scenic drive for a couple of hours and then bring me back home? The street is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must have all called in sick today so they can come over to my house and watch this magical moment as I tell myself I quit and I’m never going to work for myself again. I really hesitate to take a sledge hammer to my clock radio. It works just fine. It will be a mess to clean up. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening and can’t find my iPod.

And the next morning I can wake up when I’m done sleeping! Well shit. What fun is that? I already do that. Been doing it for years. I’m usually done sleeping around 8am. Kind of an internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I do not set the alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I have to be up early for which usually involves getting myself or someone else to the airport. And I’m very talented, probably much more so than those ambots with the smashed up old fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday I was done sleeping twice. Yes! Twice! Lets see an ambot try that one! The first time I was done sleeping around 5am. I woke up thinking about something I had to do, went into the office, powered on the computer, left a note for myself so I wouldn’t forget then I went back to bed. The next time I was done sleeping was at 9:45am.

I want to make sure everyone knows you don’t have to be a scamming Amway IBO to tell your boss you quit. Anyone at any time can tell the boss fuck you I’m outta here. You also don’t need to be quitting your job to hire a limousine. People hire them all the time for all kinds of different occasions. They have different prices depends on if you take a regular sized limousines or if you like one of those stretch SUV kinds and where you’re going or how long you need to use it. The limousine businesses will take money from anyone, they’re not exclusive to ambots!

Anyway I guess it makes a nice fairy tale for the Amway cult followers. Those bastards need to update their story to keep up with the times though. We are coming up on a generation who will have no idea what is an alarm clock.

Huh? What is a typewriter?


  1. It's such a damn farce. If you don't like an alarm clock and need one for your schedule, change your schedule. Scamway only teaches people to burn bridges, with both job/ career, family. People are foolish to waste their time with this brain-washing cult. If you fall for it, see a professional job counselor, a lawyer, a private investigator, former Ambots, ANYONE who can talk some sense into you to not fall for this pyramid scheme. Scamway people are not Godly - unless you are a Satan worshipper. They will lie, con, manipulate, love-bomb the hell out of you until your soul is stolen. You will be left with nothing - financially, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and if you're extremely fortunate, you won't lose your family. If you don't like your alarm clock, start your own REAL business, change your job/career to one that accomodates your sleep patterns. I've seen the stupid limo shit and alarm smashing on video from someone I know and the "freedom" rally. It was offset by a successful career in public service whereby the Ambot was eligible for a pension, NOT Scamway financial freedom. Now, the Ambot lives a facade of fortune renting a nice home, finally paid back IRS liens, has to still scramble and travel to speak lies about freedom while he's beholden to the Scamway Gods. It's a farce of a life. He's not free - you're not free if you have to still answer to uplines and lie to vulnerable IBO's below you. Alarm clock? Most people use their smartphones now for sleep alarms. How will they convince the younger crowds to smash their Iphones at around $600 to replace. Oh, they'll probably just get "symbolic" with finding old recycled smart phones to smash. The whole scam is just sickening.

    1. Anonymous - right on, the lifestyle of an Amway Ambot. In this day and age why throw away money you've earned after years of service with a company and walk away from a pension plan with the bullshit promise that Amway will pay you gazillions of dollars in residual income every month for the rest of your life. Ambots are brainwashed into believing those fairy tales. An Ambot won't have financial security as long as they're a renter. If worst comes to worst a homeowner can sell their home and live off the equity or use it to by a more affordable house. Its just incredible the bullshit the assholes in the Amway upline convince their followers to do while they chase their dream of greed in the Amway cult.

      Good one about the iPhones and you're so right, the younger generation uses their phones for alarms and just about everything else in their life. They're not going to shoot it up.

      And yes the Amway scam is sickening. The cult where you lose your money and lose your friends. Burn your bridges with your job, your family, and friends. Amway is no different than any other cult, isolating the followers so they have nothing else except other Amway cult followers to hang out with.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

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