Monday, December 14, 2015

Never Buy Amway Christmas Tree!

Some ambot showed up at my blog searching for how to buy a Christmas tree from Amway.

My first thought is why the hell would you want to do that?

Then I got to wondering are these artificial trees or real trees?

Either way if Amway is selling them they have got to cost a bundle!

Then I got to thinking what a great idea to screw up somebody’s search criteria by ending up at my blog yet again! Oh Christmas Tree, oh Amway Christmas Tree, how shitty to have you in my house!

Probably IBOFB or some other fucking Amway loser will show up to say that Amway has partnered with some farmer in Vermont to buy Christmas trees of his farm for $500 each. Plus shipping! Just like that motherfucker told us about that market Amway is affiliated with where we can buy 3 pounds of potatoes for $12.95 plus the cost of shipping to our house. Now there’s a shitty deal! Bought 10lbs of potatoes for $2 the other day from a nearby retailer not out to fuck over their customers.

No matter who is selling Christmas trees they’re going to be a real joy to ship and probably cost a few bucks. Cheaper to buy locally.

If its an artificial Christmas tree there is plenty of mail order competition for that one. I’ve seen artificial trees for sale on eBay, JC Penny, Walmart, etc. You buy them and they’re shipped to your house.

So I did a Google search for buying a live Christmas tree to have shipped to your house and was surprised to find such beasts do exist! They cost more than going to your Christmas tree lot but not all that much more. I couldn’t find how much to ship the suckers though. I wouldn’t want to be the guy having to sweep out his UPS truck after delivering one. Pine needles everywhere!

There are enough nurseries and organizations selling live Christmas trees where you can go and pick out one that you like rather than waiting for the UPS to deliver an overpriced Christmas tree that shows up with smushed branches and missing foliage and an unfortunate decomposing odor.

Just say hell no to Amway Christmas trees! No overpriced Amway Christmas trees allowed in the house! No shitty overpriced Amway products allowed under our tree!


  1. My guess is that this attempt to sell "Amway Christmas Trees" is directly aimed at those dimwitted fanatics in "CORE." Since CORE Ambots are religiously required to buy only Amway products, they would be expected to shell out whatever outrageous price Amway demands for the trees.

    A coniferous tree is a coniferous tree -- that's all. It can't be argued that trees from one particular source are "better" than trees from another source. But you can bet that the Amway shills will argue that "Amway Christmas Trees" are of "higher quality," are "concentrated," and "last longer." And of course they will finish their shpiel by saying "Wouldn't you spend a bit more for quality?"

    The logic behind all this is perfectly clear. If your MLM scam is to work, you eventually have to produce more and more items that will be a "required purchase" for those who are in your "Plan." It's the only way to beat the competition.

    1. Anonymous - like you said if all the Christmas trees are coming from a certain area they're all pretty much the same. Oh they're will be different varieties of trees but as you said coniferous. One is better than another? Debatable. Except the Amway Christmas tree will be higher priced than anywhere else and Ambots would be going around saying don't you want to pay more money for a higher quality Christmas tree? Uh no. Whichever one can do the job of hanging on to decorations for a few weeks and doesn't mind presents being piled under it is good enough for most people.

  2. Anna, please tell that Ambot for me that while I don't do Amway myself because I don't want to be a sucker, I will however happily sell him all the Christmas trees he wants by using the same marketing methods as Amway. One Christmas tree will cost him 1 and a half times what he would pay for a nicer tree at the tree lot down the street from him. And if he buys fifty of them I will give him a 10% discount, which means he will only be paying 40% more than the trees are actually worth. As an added bonus I will praise him for being a sucker, just like Amway does. And the more he buys the more "discount" he gets, just like Amway.

    1. Hey Ray your offer of one a half times higher for the tree price is extremely generous seeing as how Amway charges 4 to 5 times as much money as similar priced products. You'd think Ambots would be knocking themselves over to get to you and your trees. But as soon as they find out you don't offer PV. Well....

    2. Ray, add this to your offer: If the Ambot agrees, you will shove each and every tree he buys right up his ass. No installation fee.

    3. Anonymous - that's great! Shove it up your ass Ambot!

  3. @ your comment. I needed a good laugh.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.