Monday, December 14, 2015
Never Buy Amway Christmas Tree!
Some ambot showed up at my blog searching for how to buy a Christmas tree from Amway.
My first thought is why the hell would you want to do that?
Then I got to wondering are these artificial trees or real trees?
Either way if Amway is selling them they have got to cost a bundle!
Then I got to thinking what a great idea to screw up somebody’s search criteria by ending up at my blog yet again! Oh Christmas Tree, oh Amway Christmas Tree, how shitty to have you in my house!
Probably IBOFB or some other fucking Amway loser will show up to say that Amway has partnered with some farmer in Vermont to buy Christmas trees of his farm for $500 each. Plus shipping! Just like that motherfucker told us about that market Amway is affiliated with where we can buy 3 pounds of potatoes for $12.95 plus the cost of shipping to our house. Now there’s a shitty deal! Bought 10lbs of potatoes for $2 the other day from a nearby retailer not out to fuck over their customers.
No matter who is selling Christmas trees they’re going to be a real joy to ship and probably cost a few bucks. Cheaper to buy locally.
If its an artificial Christmas tree there is plenty of mail order competition for that one. I’ve seen artificial trees for sale on eBay, JC Penny, Walmart, etc. You buy them and they’re shipped to your house.
So I did a Google search for buying a live Christmas tree to have shipped to your house and was surprised to find such beasts do exist! They cost more than going to your Christmas tree lot but not all that much more. I couldn’t find how much to ship the suckers though. I wouldn’t want to be the guy having to sweep out his UPS truck after delivering one. Pine needles everywhere!
There are enough nurseries and organizations selling live Christmas trees where you can go and pick out one that you like rather than waiting for the UPS to deliver an overpriced Christmas tree that shows up with smushed branches and missing foliage and an unfortunate decomposing odor.
Just say hell no to Amway Christmas trees! No overpriced Amway Christmas trees allowed in the house! No shitty overpriced Amway products allowed under our tree!