Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Hold An Amway Grand Opening

Seeing as how lots of ambots are doing searches on how to do an Amway grand opening and end up at this blog I thought I should rerun the post about our grand opening for new readers who haven’t read it.

The first time I heard the term “grand opening” was when this arrogant prick friend of my husband’s that I have never liked was holding an Amway grand opening and Ambot wanted to stop by the bastard’s house because we were out in the area that day and the bastard was having a BBQ. You know the old Amway trick of pretending to have a BBQ but its just a disguise for a Scamway meeting. This “BBQ” was just a ruse to get us in that part of town so we could support his grand opening. I probably said something to the effect what a fucking loser that asshole is for getting involved in Amway and I warned my husband not to buy any of that useless overpriced Amway shit. We got there and I wasn’t impressed with anything but some could say that would probably be mostly due to the fact that I can’t stand the asshole and would never be impressed with anything he’s got going on. My husband poured me an XS energy drink, I think cranberry. I took a sip and told him it tasted like cat piss. I think he was drinking root beer XS so I tried that and told him it tasted like toothpaste that a cat had pissed on. They had a bunch of shitty Amway products on display. I told his wife that we’d been involved in Amway before and hadn’t made any money and we couldn’t persuade anyone we knew to come to Amway meetings or buy any of the shit.

What I didn’t know was that the Amway cult leaders had already started brainwashing my husband. Unfortunately Ambot didn’t learn his lesson the first time around. How’s that quote go? Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. We were doomed to lose more money thanks to his fucking asshole friend and the Amway cult. Except this time was the sheer evil horror of the Amway cult that also brought with it emotional distress because of the horrible evil fucking assholes that were in our Amway WWDB upline. That horror didn’t happen the first time so this was what they meant when they talked about how Amway had changed since the first time we’d been in. Amway now meant dealing with horrible evil scum of the earth greedy bastards out to destroy relationships of anyone who didn’t submit to the Amway cult leaders.

The assholes in our upline said we must hold a “grand opening” as soon as possible after getting started in our Amway business so everyone would know that we were Amway distributors (how embarrassing is that to admit!) and could order products from us. This was also the time to sign up new IBO’s who were interested in starting their own business. Let’s see. Our circle of friends hasn’t changed much in the past 10 years. The people Ambot bugged the shit out of the last time around in Amway who weren’t interested were the same ones he’d be harrassing again.

We chose a date and decided to hold the dreaded Amway BBQ at our house. Amway does not sell stuff normal people would have at a BBQ - hamburgers, buns, condiments, salad, cake, ice cream, etc. Seeing as how Ambot had high expectations of a huge crowd off we went to Costco to stock up for the BBQ.

Grocery bill tally for the BBQ Grand Opening - about $150.

We printed up invitations and gave them out to a lot of people including all neighbors. Ambot actually knocked on doors and spoke with neighbors and handed them an invitation. He also sniped a few people who happened to be walking past our house while we were outside gardening.

The grand opening was an afternoon event. Our first guest showed up around 1. He had other plans so was just planning to grab a burger, take a look at some of the Amway products and hear a little bit about the business.

Actually this fellow was about as close as we ever got to signing up a downline with the exception of the one friend who signed up and then quit a couple of weeks later. This fellow came to a board plan and was interested and liked the IBO’s and their fakey nicey nice act. Then a mutual friend told him Amway was a scam and he backed off. Ambot was pissed off at our friend who had the gall to say Amway is a scam.

Funny how he agrees with that statement now!

Then it got quiet for a couple of hours. Ambot went into the house to watch TV. Things picked up closer to 4pm. Some of our hungry elderly neighbors were happy to come over for free food. One of them even noticed some of the products displayed on a table and triumphantly, disgustedly declared “this is Amway”. A neighbor and his kids came over too. The fellow had never heard of Amway so Ambot gave him a good run down on the business. He was sure he’d found a prospect. Wrong. They moved shortly after that.

Bottom line is as far as promoting the Amway business the grand opening was useless. Like everything else in Amway holding an Amway grand opening is a total waste of time and money. Fortunately most of the food we bought could be frozen or had a good enough shelf life that we were able to consume them later.

Some of the upline dropped by that evening and when they heard that the grand opening resulted in no prospects or customers they tried to get us to hold another grand opening as soon as possible. Nope. Never happened. We could have held a million Amway grand openings and the attendance and results wouldn’t have changed. This was exactly the same thing as happened the first time we were in Scamway. We invited everyone we knew and lot of people we didn’t know too and maybe a handful showed up for the free food and never resulted in any sales or signing up new IBO’s.

So to the people who keep showing up at my blog looking how to hold an “Amway grand opening” - don’t waste your time or money. Get out now before you face further embarrassment and financial losses and emotional distress.

Amway sucks!

WWDB = World Wide Destructive Bastards and its named that for a reason - it is out to destroy your relationships! WWDB sucks! STAY AWAY!!!!!

But what really sucks are the fucking assholes you’re forced to deal with in your WWDB upline. That is the worst thing about belonging to the Amway cult. The horrible evil people you meet and the way they treat you.


  1. Even though that colleges don't guarantee success, you can still learn some valuable insights that are being taught. Those valuable insights that you learned will be helpful towards your future endeavors coupled with experience.

    Those functions will not teach you any valuable insights that are future ready. They just go on stage to show off, brag and lie to their teeth.

    Imagine going to your future employer with these kind of teaching.

    1. Hey, idiot at 3:35 AM -- the above post of yours was for a different thread at at different website (Joe Cool's). What does it have to do with this discussion here?

    2. LOL! I saw that earlier and wondered what that was supposed to mean or have to do with an Amway grand opening. But it is true that you can't list Amway shit on your resume without getting laughed at. Can you imagine under educating listing Amway University and under experience listing CEO of Benny the Bastard, subdivision of Amway.

  2. One thing I don't understand: if these "Grand Openings" and fake BBQs don't work, why does Amway keep on encouraging them?

    1. Anonymous - its all part of Amway's greater scam to sell the hope not the soap.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.