Thursday, October 6, 2016

Don’t Smash My Alarm Clock!

One of the bullshit things we used to hear at every Amway meeting were stories about how ambots were becoming financially free and about the last morning they had to wake up and go to work for the man.

They all have the same story. They are always men - but then what else do you expect from the Amway good old boys club but a bunch of male chauvinist pigs. They’re all sitting at their desk getting their work done. Then their wife walks in and says its time. Apparently this was not something preplanned. The wife decided on it on the spur of the moment an hour or two earlier. Then they both go in to see the boss and tell him to stick his job where the sun don’t shine. Then they walk out of the hated company and away from the hated J.O.B. hand in hand gloating at the coworkers watching them. Standing outside are all the members of their Scamway team. What? None of those fuckers didn’t have jobs they had to be at? There is always a limousine waiting outside. The husband and wife get into it and it always takes them straight home. Oh come on use some imagination here. There is probably at least a 2 hour minimum on renting a limo. You could just ask the chauffeur to drive around and have sex back there. But no. They all want to go home. And what is the first thing they do when they get home? They smash the alarm clock! They will never have to wake up to an alarm clock ever again. Especially not now that its been smashed to smithereens. They can wake up when they’re done sleeping!

And everyone in the upline has the same bullshit story. It never changes. Sudden epiphany at work to quit and walk out. Cult followers outside cheering the ambot on for quitting. Limo. Smash alarm clock.

First a couple of irregularities I see in this often told story.

Conceivably the husband drove a car to work. He leaves in a limo. What’s he going to do about his car? I realize its probably one of those clunker ambot shitmobiles that’s always breaking down but presumably the boss ain’t going to be too happy about the car being abandoned there. Boss calls tow truck. Ambot gets ticket to pay for towing and storage fees. Refuses to pay. Car goes to auction. Tow company leaves bad rating on ambot’s credit report.

And who has an alarm clock anymore? Didn’t they go out in the 70’s when clock radios became all the fashion?

The sack of shit Platinum taunted us about this tale and didn’t we want it too?

Lets see. I haven’t worked for anyone else in years. So what am I supposed to do? Go into the bathroom and stare myself down in the mirror and say I quit. Fuck you. I should line up all my Barbie doll collection as my pretend coworkers so they can all catch this magical moment. I stomp out of my house and there’s the limo. Who called and paid for this sucker? Hmm. Scenic drive for a couple of hours and then bring me back home? The street is lined with clunkers belonging to ambots who must have all called in sick today so they can come over to my house and watch this magical moment as I tell myself I quit and I’m never going to work for myself again. I really hesitate to take a sledge hammer to my clock radio. It works just fine. It will be a mess to clean up. And what happens when I want to listen to music in the evening and can’t find my iPod.

And the next morning I can wake up when I’m done sleeping! Well shit. What fun is that? I already do that. Been doing it for years. I’m usually done sleeping around 8am. Kind of an internal alarm clock. Yeppers. I do not set the alarm on my clock radio unless there is something specific I have to be up early for which usually involves getting myself or someone else to the airport. And I’m very talented, probably much more so than those ambots with the smashed up old fashioned alarm clocks. Yesterday I was done sleeping twice. Yes! Twice! Lets see an ambot try that one! The first time I was done sleeping around 5am. I woke up thinking about something I had to do, went into the office, powered on the computer, left a note for myself so I wouldn’t forget then I went back to bed. The next time I was done sleeping was at 9:45am.

I want to make sure everyone knows you don’t have to be a scamming Amway IBO to tell your boss you quit. Anyone at any time can tell the boss fuck you I’m outta here. You also don’t need to be quitting your job to hire a limousine. People hire them all the time for all kinds of different occasions. They have different prices depends on if you take a regular sized limousines or if you like one of those stretch SUV kinds and where you’re going or how long you need to use it. The limousine businesses will take money from anyone, they’re not exclusive to ambots!

Anyway I guess it makes a nice fairy tale for the Amway cult followers. Those bastards need to update their story to keep up with the times though. We are coming up on a generation who will have no idea what is an alarm clock.

Huh? What is a typewriter?


  1. The basic thing about this story of the alarm clock and the limo and quitting your job is that it is a comforting myth. It's the sort of heartwarming thing some asshole Platinum tells to an adoring little circle of ambots at a weekly meeting.

    Everything in Amway is based on mythological fantasy. The typical ambot thinks "I'm a poor hopeless schmuck! I'm stuck in a J.O.B! I need to be saved!" And along comes Amway with its "Plan" for your financial and moral salvation. "Hallelujah! I have found salvation!"

    This sort of thing appeals to the small-town weenies who are Amway's basic demographic.

    1. Hi Anonymous. In addition to the smash alarm clock routine the Amway cult leaders drill into Ambot heads that there's nothing out there except Amway. Everyone who is not an Amway "business owner" is doomed to automatically die or be broke on their 65th birthday. It's the whole fear thing.

      So there's the fantasy about smashing the alarm clock thing. Though in this day and age someone would have to try to scrounge one up at a garage sale because most people or should I say younger people, the prey of Ambots, use their phones as an alarm clock. Yeah there's a lot of Ambot phones I'd like to smash! LOL

      But yeah it's just another fairy tale for dimwit Amway losers.

  2. I was 23, debt free, and got involved with WWG. My upline convinced me to "do what it took" to get to a function in Portland. 1 year later... $10K in debt, but had been to all the functions, had all the propaganda. Glad my wife had the brains to go "Fuck this shit, we're out".

    We make "ruby" income in the work world, have a good work/life balance, and won't go near an MLM with a 10 foot pole.

    All of the upline here... most of their businesses fell apart.

    1. Hi Anonymous. Thanks for stopping by. Sorry about your Amway losses but its good to hear you got out of that evil cult.

      Yup early 20's is when many Amway cult followers get recruited because they haven't heard of the scam. Debt free when you join Amway? You won't be when they're through with you.

      Here's the good things. You only lost $10,000 which is about what most people lose in a year. Consider yourself lucky. Others have lost more than that in a year and way more than that after putting in lots more time to Scamway. 2nd you're young enough to bounce back financially and emotionally. If this had happened to you when you're 43 or 53 or 63 it might mess up your retirement plans forcing you to work longer to pay off the Amway debt. 3rd sounds like you've got a real smart wife there. You didn't say it but I bet she'd been after you for a long time to quit.

      Like all education it costs money. Your education is not to go near another MLM.

      And yeah most Ambots their Amway "business" falls apart. There's over 99% failure rate. The odds are higher they'll lose money than make it. Good luck to you!

  3. It's ironic. Many people join Amway/WWDB to gain more time and money. But the net result is you have less time and less money because of your involvement with Amway and WWDB.

    The uplines don't like alarm clocks because they're up at 3:00 AM morning peddling Amway while the rest of us sleep.

    1. Hi Joecool. That's very true. You'll have less time and money if you sign up to Amway thanks to the fucking assholes in your Amway upline demanding all your time and all your money. They even want money you don't have. Charge it!

      They're up at 3 in the morning all right. Having gone to bed 2 hours earlier after getting home from a Scamway meeting. Its easier to just get a job than join Amway. With a job you have more money and you have more time on your hands.

    2. Poor unfortunate souls. I wish that people like you would open their eyes. I was free at 23 thanks to WORLD WIDE DREAM BUILDERS. But enjoy working until you're 50! I'll be on the beach in Naples next week 😆

    3. Tori - that sounds exactly like something a greedy ass Amway bastard would do. Go to a part of the state that wasn't hit by the hurricane and lie on the beach instead of going to more devastated areas and help with the clean up.

      And if World Wide Destructive Bastards really had a recent retired fucking asshole only 23 Amway's media machine would be blowing it out their asses. So go flog your lies and bullshit somewhere else. Fucking Amway loser!

    4. Hey, Tori Williams --

      You're 23, and you're already a millionaire as a result of being in World-Wide Douche Bags?

      You're a lying sack of shit.

      As a lowly Amway IBO in the WWDB subsystem, you're just a commissioned salesperson who nets about $10 per month. The only beach you can afford is Tar Beach, on the roof of your tenement flat.

      You think you can come here with a bullshit story like that, and we'll believe you? Smarten the fuck up, asshole. Everyone here knows a lot more about the Amway racket than you'll ever know, and nobody can make an absurd statement that they are rich from an MLM scheme at the age of 23. It's pure fantasy and wishful thinking on your part.

      So grow up, become a little more mature, and stop dreaming.

    5. Hi Anonymous - the thing this dumb fuck Tori doesn't get is this blog sees an overabundance of lying scamming Amway assholes between 19 and 25 who all claim to have made it big in Amway and just retired. If that was true WWDB, Amway, Amagram would all be doing major shout outs to prove young guys have just retired thanks to their pyramid scheme. But we're seeing silence from the places who are the news source for when these things happen. LOL or don't happen is more the case.

      I'm not sure why these fucking Amway assholes want to give their employer an even worse reputation by spreading their lies on the Internet.

      But these fuckers all think they're original when they show up here saying they're 19, 21, 23 and are now making bazillions of dollars in residual income from Amway rolling in every month and now they're retired and can sit back and do nothing for the rest of their lives. Original NOT. Too many Amway fucktards ahead of them already showed up here with the same bullshit story.

  4. One of the best-kept secrets in Amway is that the organization really doesn't want you to be debt-free. Oh sure -- they talk all the time about how wonderful it is to pay for everything in cash, to own your home outright, to be unencumbered by debt.

    But quite frankly, that is all bullshit. Your up-line WANTS you to be in debt -- to Amway! As long as what you owe is a result of buying Amway products, or gong to Amway functions, or paying for something stupid like CommuniKate or Standing Order or Ditto, the debt is OK.

    How many asshole Platinums have told their down-line "Going into debt is OK if it helps to build your business!" And as a result, persons who were debt-free before joining Amway all of a sudden have to max out their credit cards, or re-mortgage their homes, or sell off property, or skip meals.

    Amway defines "debt" as what you owe to persons or institutions that have no connection with Amway. But what you owe as a direct result of being in the Amway racket is not debt at all -- it's "the price of being successful."

    What a racket!

    1. Anonymous - being debt free was one of the bullshit Amspeak we heard at every meeting. Bragging how all the Amway cult leaders are debt free and pay for everything in cash. Well debt free people who pay cash don't go into foreclosure and declare bankruptcy. I mean really do you want to take finance tips from those losers. Apparently brainwashed Ambots do.

      Going into debt to build your Amway business just pissed me off to no end. How does stockpiling a bunch of shitty overpriced products that you can't unload help build your business or get you debt free.

      Just another Amway fairy tale. And as you said because the upline assholes want the Ambots to always be in debt to Amway. And then struggle to get to that debt free platform that the liars all brag about. The old you've got to spend money to make money phrase sure doesn't apply if you signed up to the Amway pyramid scheme.

  5. Help! So the ambot boyfriend went to a freedom party this weekend and sent me a video of it! What the heck? Do these people that are "retiring" at age 32 just faking it? I just don't understand how they are retiring, how they get people to come to a party to watch them smash the alarm clock (yes they did that!) and how anyone believes that they are financially free now because of anyway?

    1. Hi Anonymous. Amway losers are big fans of "fake it till you make it." That video was probably a staged shoot showing luxury cars and mansions and vacations and other toys that were likely rented for the day.

      Anyone retiring at age 32 likely has income from another source that has nothing to do with Amway. If you haven't already done so download a free ebook called Merchants of Deception - there's a link on the right side of this page under more information about Amway. The writer was an Emerald who made about $30,000/year from Amway and was really puzzled why the income he'd been promised as an Emerald just wasn't there. His upline blamed him for not working hard enough. Geez the bugger had 1000 people in his downline and was busting his ass keeping them motivated to buy Amway shit. He had other income or investment properties that he sold and lived off that money while chasing the Amway nightmare. Some who claim they're retired because of Amway have similar types of investments or other income to live off like maybe the wife has a good paying job.

      In Amway you never stop working even if you hit Diamond. They have to keep bullying the downline to buy more Amway shit and they have to keep going to Amway functions which is where they make the bulk of their income from ticket sales. Every Amway function has the same old people and I'm not using the word "old" loosely. There are no 32 year olds up on the stage. The old crew won't allow it because that means they'll have to share greed pie and that means they'll get a smaller piece of greed pie. You never retire in Amway. Unless your last name is Van Andel or De Vos.

  6. No one in Amway retires at 32 with Amway income alone. That's pure bullshit.

    I suggest that the video you saw was prepared for public consumption, or to show prospective recruits who are interested in Amway and need a little extra push to join.

    Smashing an alarm clock is purely a dramatic gesture, designed to put a vivid image in the viewer's mind. Amway is good at this kind of lying propaganda.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
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