Monday, January 9, 2017

Amway Ambots On Mission To Destroy Lives

All was quiet in the tiny town of Normal, USA.

Then the battle cry was heard! Amway warriors!

The ambots are coming! The ambots are coming!

These horrible villains were well known throughout the land spreading their evil.

They were also known as 8pm warriors, their witching hour when they got together to plot how to destroy families.

Their shitty reputations preceeded them. The ambots were well known for tricking innocent people into attending their meetings where they promised financial freedom.

The ambots promised residual income would come rolling in forever.
And everybody would get rich as easy as pushing a button.
The first thing the ambot cult leaders had to do was brainwash the new recruits.
They had to brainwash them into believing that Amway is not a pyramid scheme.
They spent most of their 8pm meetings in denial that Amway is a pyramid scheme.
The rest of the meetings were spent giving “training” such as when it comes to tax time you can write off everything Amway against your regular income and receive a refund which is the only way possible to make money in the Amway scheme.
And once the ambot was well brainwashed the Amway cult leaders unleashed the big guns and brought their prophecy of destruction into the war games.

First off they brainwashed the ambots into giving them all their money, either by buying shitty overpriced Amway products or attending Amway functions or investing in the tool scam. They told the ambots to buy all these things on credit cards once they’d drained their bank accounts. The ambots mailboxes were littered with overdue notices from their creditors.
The next thing they knew ambots were facing bankruptcy.
And then because ambots had been trained by their cult leaders to skip a few mortgage payments if they needed the money to attend Amway functions and buy tools, the bank came knocking with some bad news. The house was being foreclosed.

The wife finally got pissed off and ran off with a guy who worked at McDonald’s because he made more money than her husband did working the Amway scam.

Now the ambots of Normal, USA had to sit back and take a closer look at the pyramid scheme they were involved in and realized it was impossible to make any money in Amway.
Wow! It had been a bad idea to let those ambots take over their town.
They never thought they could be scammed. Especially since it was good friend who had scammed them into Amway.
No money, no house, no marriage. The Amway path of destruction was complete and the ambots set forth to destroy another town called Fightback, USA. Too bad for the ambot warriors, the town people were waiting. Their mission? Seek and destroy the fucking Platinum cult leader! Score!!!!

The moral of the story is that ambots need to learn not to fuck with the wrong people!


  1. A brilliant satire, Anna!

    1. Thanks! It was originally posted here 5 years ago so it was time to make another appearance.


Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!

If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
9. We suspect you're a troublemaking Amway asshole.
10. Your comment got caught in the spam filter. Gets checked occasionally. We’ll get to you eventually and approve it as long as it really isn’t spam.