- Before the meeting begins ask if this has anything to do with Amway. Keep asking and hold up the meeting getting underway until you get an answer. If someone is honest enough to admit that it is Amway tell them you’re leaving.
- Show up late. After 8:30pm or 9pm would be perfect. Make a lot of noise getting to your seat and saying hi to people.
- When the speaker begins to bitch about giving up time with his family to talk to the audience, stand up and yell the same thing right back at him. “I’m giving up time with my family to hear you talk. And so far I don’t like what I hear! I wish to hell we had both stayed at home!”
- Leave your cell phone on. At the beginning of every meeting some ambot in a monkey suit introduces the jackass speaking that night and tells the audience to turn off their phones. Prearrange with someone to phone around 8:30. Change your cell phone ring tone to Jimmy Buffet’s Let’s Get Drunk and Screw. And yes I checked. You can download that ring tone! Then go ahead and hold a conversation with whoever phoned and watch the horrified reaction of the brainwashed ambots around you. How dare someone disrespect their beloved Amway cult leader by taking a phone call!
- Wait 15 minutes or so into the meeting and then get up and say: “I’m bored. I’m outta here.”
- Stand up and yell “You’re a bunch of fucking liars!”
- Yell out: “No one wants to listen to this negative shit!”
- Stand up and say “I’ve got better things to do.” And then walk out.
- Start telling offensive jokes.
- Just as the meeting is about to start stand up and say “I’m going on a McDonald’s run. Be back soon!”
- Start complaining about the uncomfortable chair you’re sitting on.
My story of what its like to be married to an Amway cult follower. I expose the lies that our upline told and what happens at Amway meetings and functions. I leave the explanations of why Amway is a poor business opportunity or the tool scam to other bloggers. This blog mainly exists to curse out my former upline, aka the cult leaders, and to let everyone know what kind of idiots I had to put up with. Feel free to join in or live vicariously!
Thursday, May 11, 2017
How To Ruin An Amway Meeting
8 comments:
Comments are moderated but we publish just about everything. Even brainwashed ambots who show up here to accuse us of not trying hard enough and that we are lazy, quitters, negative, unchristian dreamstealers. Like we haven’t heard that Amspeak abuse from the assholes in our upline!
If your comment didn’t get published it could be one of these reasons:
1. Is it the weekend? We don’t moderate comments on weekends. Maybe not every day during the week either. Patience.
2. Racist/bigoted comments? Take that shit somewhere else.
3. Naming names? Public figures like politicians and actors and people known in Amway are probably OK – the owners, Diamonds with CDs or who speak at functions, people in Amway’s publicity department who write press releases and blogs. Its humiliating for people to admit their association with Amway so respect their privacy if they’re not out there telling everyone about the love of their life.
4. Gossip that serves no purpose. There are other places to dish about what Diamonds are having affairs or guessing why they’re getting divorced. If you absolutely must share that here – don’t name names. I get too many nosy ambots searching for this. Lets not help them find this shit.
5. Posting something creepy anonymously and we can’t track your location because you’re on a mobile device or using hide my ass or some other proxy. I attracted an obsessed fan and one of my blog administrators attracted a cyberstalker. Lets keep it safe for everyone. Anonymous is OK. Creepy anonymous and hiding – go fuck yourselves!
6. Posting something that serves no purpose other than to cause fighting.
7. Posting bullshit Amway propaganda. We might publish that comment to make fun of you. Otherwise take your agenda somewhere else. Not interested.
8. Notice how this blog is written in English? That's our language so keep your comments in English too. If you leave a comment written in another language then we either have to use Google translate to put it into English so everyone can understand what you wrote or we can hit the Delete button. Guess which one is easier for us to do?
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I just saw myself literally my friend going out late at night like attending some "leadership training" at 8pm where my friend even wrote that his "mentor" is drawing a circle, eating late at 1am and going home at 2am. I even saw those pictures of XS drinks and XS protein while reading books. So I think he is in "the business".
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -if he's going to 8pm meetings, staying out late at night, drawing circles and eating and drinking Amway's shitty products he's in "the business".
DeleteThis is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to add a couple of my ideas to the list!
1. Part of the way through the meeting ask, "When do I get to present my business idea?"
2. Show up in a Hawaiian shirt and a banana hammock and say, "Is this tropical night?"
3. Show up late and act irritated that your son Timmy is supposed to be home at 9 o'clock and can't keep hanging out passed his curfew.
4. Show up early and demand a personal one-on-one interview with the "Head Cheese" to see how serious they are about having you join the business.
5. Consistently burp throughout the meeting and then blame it on the XS energy drinks.
6. Show up late with a bunch of balloons and yell, "Surprise Johnny! Happy 7th birthday!"
7. Show up with a bag full of the competitors products and attempt to sell them to people while the meeting is taking place.
If I ever got the opportunity to go to another Amway meeting, I'll be sure to report any shenanigans I am able to pull off.
Hi John Doe. Those are great. I'll be using them next time around for this post!
DeleteI keep thinking I'd love to get an invite to a clandestine meeting that I suspect is an Amway cult meeting and then hold up the meeting while I ask if its Amway and then cursing out the cult leader who'll deny it. LOL! And then leave. Love the tropical night theme! LOL! Can you imagine those Ambot prudes! LOL! And the competitors products for sale. Do an on the spot price comparison. Amway loses!
Pay a homeless bum $20 to come to an Amway meeting with you. Tell everyone he is a "hot new prospect." Tell him to interrupt every so often with stupid questions while the plan is being shown. It's best if he has a strong body odor.
ReplyDeletePass out advertising cards for a sleazy, low-class "escort service" during the meeting. Loudly tell everyone that the girls in this service are really hot, and will do anything you ask. It's best if the cards have photos of sluttish, half-naked girls on them.
LOL! You know what they say at Amway meetings - its so easy anyone can do it!
DeleteThanks for the ideas!! I wish I'd get the chance, I'd play along nicely next time, until I get to a meeting.
ReplyDeleteLast time I called it after the one-on-one ambush. I see I could have had a lot of fun.
I hear you kwaaikat. It almost makes me wish some Amway loser tries to prospect me to come to a cult meeting just so I can cause a little trouble and hold up the brainwashing session.
Delete