Tell The Amway Cult To Fuck Off!

Its kind of troubling the pattern of search hits this blog gets:


“Should I kick my Amway ambot out of the house?”


“What happens when husbands and wives don’t agree on Amway?”


“How do you get someone to leave Amway?”


“Boyfriend wants me to travel to Amway meetings with him”


“Amway destroyed my marriage”


“How to deprogram an Amway ambot”


“How to be deprogrammed from Amway”


“How to quit Amway”


These ones are especially sad because the searcher - and here I’ll go out on a limb and say probably a woman - has reached the end of their rope in putting up with the Amway bullshit and being abused by the assholes in the Amway upline and is searching on the Internet for how to deal with their relationship crumbling due to the interfering upline. Its a horrible position to be in to watch your husband throwing all your money at the great Amway cult, helpless to stop it because some upline cult leader has bullied him into buying more shitty Amway products that they can’t afford. How did some fucking Amway asshole get his clutches in to your husband to have this kind of control over him.


Cult!!!!


The “how to quit Amway” variation we get many of each day and a big spike happens about the midway point between major functions. Ambots are dragged off to a major function with all the rah rah and motivational speeches from the Ken and Barbies shoving each other across the stage. The ambot comes home from these motivational rallies and is all fired up and figuring out how they’re going to make their business explode. Sadly the only thing exploding is their dwindling bank account and skyrocketing credit card debt. After a few days or weeks of failing to convince any recruits to come to Amway meetings or finding new customers to buy Amway products the enthusiasm dwindles and the ambot starts to lose interest. They’re not making money and after all the whole point of owning your own business is to make money. Their cult leaders might notice the ambot not coming to meetings or slacking off on their Amway purchases and convince them not to quit now, not when success is right around the corner. Some ambots hang on for a few more weeks and get to the next major function, get all motivated again, and the sick cycle repeats itself.


Meanwhile the wife - and yes for this topic I’m going to call the above searches as done by the woman because I can give that point of view - is feeling hopeful that the end is in sight because the husband is losing interest.


Seeing as how I’d already been down the Amway path to hell I noticed things about Ambot that showed he was finally realizing he’d been lied to about getting rich in Amway. He stopped subscribing to Communikate and the World Wide Dream Builders premier membership. He stopped buying CDs and books. He stopped attending meetings.


This took longer than I wanted us to spend inside Amway hell. I was about at the end of my rope and I could have written any of those above Google searches about marriage being destroyed by Amway, how to deprogram an ambot from the Amway cult, and ready to kick the ambot out of the house.


What I didn’t know at the time was that my Ambot had had enough of being bullied by the sack of shit Platinum and being ordered to stop loving me and devote his love instead to the assholes in the Amway upline and just being taunted to death by those sickos. So there were other conflicts going on as Ambot realized the sheer evil of the Amway upline and how they were hell bent on destroying our relationship all in the name of trying to get their hands on our money.


So Ambot was letting go of those bastards. Setback came when some upline asshole phoned and told him he had to buy at least 100 PV of Amway products so some other upline asshole could reach their goals for the month. Damn it anyway he put another $500 on his credit card buying useless shitty Amway products that we’ll never use. Then the same fucker phones back and badgers him about attending the next major function.


“Too bad,” Ambot tells the motherfucking Amway upline bastard. “I spent all my money buying those overpriced shitty Amway products so those assholes could meet their goals this month. No money left for Amway functions.”


And that was the last time Ambot ever bought anything from Amway. Yay!


Though it wasn’t the last time the upline bastards phoned or texted him but it came less often. Seeing as how he missed a major function he was on the shit list and the punishment is to be ostracized by the sack of shit Platinum until he returns to the Amway cult begging for forgiveness.


Didn’t happen.


So I will send out another big old fuck you to our Platinum. You lost your grip asshole! And it was about time!


Oh why stop there. Let’s send out a big old FUCK YOU to every Amway asshole out there!

Fuck all of you Amway whorebags!